0:00:15.03 	typo and rewording - [This time, we'll witness a young girl's love affair -]
0:00:31.46 	"high school" instead
0:00:34.28 	"held" instead of "had", maybe? also, i feel like when you have a line break with a "..." you really want to add two \h's to even out the lines. feel free to ignore these if you disagree - [... held a test of courage \h\h\Nat the Hatsumori Shrine.]
0:01:59.04 	make this "hundredfold backwards prayer" - since it's called hyakudo mairi, it should somehow be mentioned that you're supposed to climb the stairs 100 times. especially because nanase does it later in the episode, even though she would have never heard about it.
0:02:23.55 	typo, "whether"
0:03:54.65 	i'd make this [He said "later", right?] - because the guy is the one playing the "dead ball of love", that Kote gets hit by
0:05:55.70	[Otemoyan is a traditional Japanese dance from Kumamoto prefecture. It's dancers usually wear either heavy, white make-up with red cheeks, or a mask simulating said make-up. If I'm not mistaken, that's where Kumamon's red cheeks come from.]
0:07:03.93 	add a , before "too"
0:07:28.66 	remove the "named", also "to be on a different level" sounds better - [Among them, the players Nozomi and\NHikari are at a completely different level of speed.]
0:08:12.59 	grammar; either [Because I have no clue how to confess to somebody.] or [Because I have no clue how I should confess to somebody.] I prefer the first option.
0:08:24.22 	you might want to sacrifice hitting the overscan here and remove the line-break, it's cutting into the kanji. hell, i'd even move the text down a little, to have it centered in the "black area", I think that'd look really nice
0:09:02.21 	have the line-break before "Play" instead?
0:09:16.30 	same as 0:08:24.22
0:10:23.55 	[I'll let you use my employee's discount.], gives this line a little more punch
0:12:07.88 	add a , before "too"
0:12:37.52 	maybe make this line start a slight bit earlier, to make the scene-bleed less annoying
0:12:50.80 	["What?", you say?\NYour confession!]
0:13:31.10 	[I somehow couldn't help going into our 4th match with a bad feeling.]
0:13:35.27 	[And my bad feeling hit the nail on the head.]
0:14:05.16 	typo, "expect" - i'd also make this [As expected from the N700 Series.\NTheir acceleration is something else.]
0:14:45.85 	\h\h\N aren't
0:14:51.13 	i'm not sure, but even though battery refers to two people, "is" instead of "are" should still be correct. Both versions sound dumb tbh. apparently, "batterymates" is a term that could be used instead, so i'd probably make this [The batterymates are like attorney and prosecutor.]
0:16:31.12 	"crumble" instead of "fall down"
0:16:46.23 	\h\h\N divorced
0:20:22.47 	[She then went on to\N climb the stairs 100 times.]
0:23:44.80 	[You'll get it easily if I pitch right down the middle again.]
0:23:47.86 	[That one will end it, huh?]
0:27:59.96 	[...is working on the show instead.]