secret box

Zerah: [as he runs to Zora's house] Zora! Zora! Oh, Zora! Are you ready to go jellyfishing? [Zora comes out of her house with a box, doing an acrobatic trick]
Zora: Oh, boy, am I!
Zerah: Here's your net. [Zora glances at her box] Well, come on, Zora! The jellyfish don't catch themselves.
Zora: First, I have to put away my secret box.
Zerah: Secret box? You never told me about your... secret box! [Zerah tries to peek in the box, but Zora pulls it away]
Zora: Hey, hands off, Peeper! This here is my secret box! Besides, if I showed you what was inside, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. Duh! [opens the box, laughs at it, and shuts it as Zerah tries to peek it] Oh, Zerah… if only you could see what's inside my secret box, it would change your life! [Zerah gets behind Zora to see what's inside the box, but Zora holds it to herself]
Zerah: It's okay, Zora, I know all about secrets.
Zora: You do?
Zerah: I've got a gazillion secrets!
Zora: Like what?
Zerah: Well, it's not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly. [Zora drools as the top of her head has lightning bolts coming out of it, showing that she couldn't understand the whole sentence]
Zerah: You wanna hear one of my secrets?
Zora: Do I?
Zerah: Uhh... Let's see... [he runs up to Zora] Did you know that you're my best friend? [he runs away]
Zora: No... way. Oh, let's hear another one!
Zerah: Okay. Uhh... Secretly... I'm a little bit naïve.
Zora: Wow! I'll never look at you the same way again, Zerah. Gosh. [Zerah clears his throat and taps on Zora's box] Tell me some more secrets!
Zerah: Okay. I love my job at the Krusty Krab, I sleep with my shoes on, I like jelly on both sides of my toast, I've got an overdue library book, I think jellyfishing and bubble-blowing are the... [transition to Zerah still telling secrets as Zora lays her head on the box] ...overbite. I've never been late for work, I've said the word "fancy" in conversation, I like to dance to loading zone announcements, I still don't have my driver's license. I'm a little bit on the tall side. And I'm wearing three pairs of underwear, right now. [he shows his three pairs of underwear to Zora]
Zora: Gasp. I never would have guessed.
Zerah: Now will you show me what's inside your secret box?
Zora: No, Zerah! It's for me to know and for you to never find out. You may be an open book, Zerah, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [Zora imagines a carton of milk spilling itself]
Zerah: Oh, yeah?! Well, I got plenty of secret stuff, too! Uh… [close-up of Zerah's socks] I've got my secret socks on. [he runs away and comes back with Morty's bowl] And my secret Morty's bowl! [he runs away then comes back, pulling his television] My secret TV! [turns on the TV] And my secret TV channel. [the TV shows an off-air color bars screen] What do you think of that, Zora? Zora?
Zora: [she giggles, then laughs loudly after a gander at the box and then stops to breathe. She looks again and laughs harder and wildly. She stops to breathe] Maybe if you saw what was inside, you'd know why it has to be secret. [she shows the box to Zerah] Inside this very box is the most secret-y secret of all of secret-dom and I am it's sole witness! It's a heavy burden, Zerah, but nobody must know the secret of the box. [Zerah tries to peek inside the box, but Zora slams it shut] Nobody! Not even… Candy's house. [scene zooms out to show Candy's Tiki Head home looking down at Zerah and Zora, but it goes back to normal] It's a full-time job. I'm constantly on the alert. You never know when someone's gonna… [gasps when she finds out her box is gone, The scene cuts to Zerah running with Zora's secret box, but then he bumps into Zora] Zerah! What do you think you're doing?! That's my secret box! Now, hand it over!
Zerah: But, Zora, I must know the secret!
Zora: For the last time, Zerah, no!
Zerah: Come on, Zora, just a peek?
Zora: Never! [Zerah and Zora strain as they fight over the box. Eventually, Zerah's arms pop off and he gasps] So, it's come to this. And to think that we joined the Best Friends Forever Club! [she shows her finger with the ring on it and then the camera zooms in on the ring. She grabs one of Zerah's arms and points it at Zerah] Listen up, Zerah SecretStealer! [as she pokes Zerah's nose with his arm] If you ever come close to my secret box again, we won't be friends anymore!
Zerah: But... we're supposed to be... [his eyes get big and sad] friends forever. [flashback to Zerah and Zora as babies in a crib laughing, then we see them as kids riding on a bike, then as they are now, riding a bike, then as older men in rocking chairs, then we see a shot of two gravestones with their names and we hear Zerah and Zora still laughing, but they are buried. The flashback ends.] I feel so filthy! [he starts to cry] I have soiled our friendship garden! I just couldn't help myself! [he jumps on Zora] I know it's your secret! I promise to respect that! Oh, please forgive me, Zora! Please!
Zora: Well... I guess it's not all your fault. After all, this is a pretty great secret. I mean, how could you resist the greatest secret ever? [we see a close-up of Zora's box] The most amazing... [as she sticks the box in Zerah's eyes, the eyes pop out of him and then back in] mysterious... powerful secret in all Seattle. [he eyes are glued to the box for a moment, and then goes back to her]
Zerah: So, what do you say, buddy? Friends?
Zora: Friends. [they shake hands. Cuts to a night view of Zerah's house, then inside as Zerah talks]
Zerah: What could be in that box that Zora doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish! [he slides down in his bed] Or maybe Zora's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. [he sits up] Or maybe Zora's a deranged maniac who keeps her victims' severed heads in a box. [he hides himself in the blanket and shivers] Or even worse! Maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party! [screams, then jumps onto the bedroom window and talks a little muffled] I've gotta find out what's in that secret box! I'm not gonna rest until I do! [Zerah's face pops off and sticks onto his back] That's it! How do you look in a secret box? [he jumps off the window] Secretly, of course! I'll just take the box while Zora's sleeping, look in that box, and before Zora even has time to notice, I'll slide it back. [he turns around to show only his nose. He turns back around] Zora won't know when I'll have my own little secret. Good idea, eh, Morty? [Morty narrows his eyes]
Morty: Meeh… No. [cut to the outside]
Zerah: Oh, what do you know? You're a cat! [Zerah sneaks to Zora's house, puts gloves and a ski mask on him, crawls up the rock with his back, and tears him in half and gets both halves under the rock. He then lands and notices Zora. She then screams gibberish, drools and Zerah hides behind the portrait of Zerah and Zora. Zerah then peeks and then the wall starts to crack. Zora mumbles, the wall breaks even more and then the nail falls off. He then grabs the nail with his foot and puts it back.]
Zora: [as the camera zooms in on the box] Seee... cret.
Zerah: [thinking] I got to be more quiet. I don't want to wake Zora up. [slides down the wall from the portrait and makes a loud noise upon touching the floor. Zora stretches and then goes back to sleep. Zerah then lifts his leg and then Zora makes another noise. She then tosses herself over on the bed. Zerah puts his leg down, which makes a loud noise]
Zora: Duh... who's there? [she mumbles then goes back to sleep.]
Zerah: [talking to his foot] Shhh! [Zerah steps on a potato chip and makes a broken glass sound]
Zora: Eh?! [gibberish] Who's that?! [Zora is back asleep. Zerah sweeps his sweat drops off him and they land, causing a loud splash sound.] Mmm... water. [she licks his mouth dry, then tosses herself on the bed. Zerah takes another step and makes an "AWOOOOGA!" noise. He then steps again, making a loud machine gun noise. Steps again, making the sound of an elephant. He then stretches his leg near the side of the bed, then takes the step, making a very loud crashing noise. He then peeks above Zora to see the box. He gets ready to reach for the box, but Zora takes the box before Zerah could grab it. He then slides onto Zora, grabbing the box] Good old secret box. Let's see what's inside. [opens Zerah's mouth and pulls out his tongue, then laughs. She lets go of his tongue] Nighty-night, boxie. [she puts Zerah on the side of the bed. Zerah gets off the bed and then trips on a shoestring, causing him to bounce around Zora's house, making a lot of loud noises until his head hits the wall, causing the portrait to fall off the wall, hitting him in the head, breaking the portrait half. The box then lands on Zerah and makes a loud noise. The scene cuts back to Zora, who, despite all the noise, continues to sleep]
Zerah: Gee, Zora sure is a heavy sleeper. [Zora wakes up]
Zora: Huh? Who said that?! Who's there?!
Zerah: Uh…
Zora: It's the Clam Burglar! And he's stealing my secret box! [she runs up to Zerah] Hand over the goods, Secret Box Bandit, and prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life! [she cocks his pillow like a shotgun]
Zerah: Wait, wait, wait, Zora! Stop! [takes off his mask] It's me, Zerah!
Zora: [stares at him while clueless] Nice try, burglar, but Zerah's my best friend, and he'd never steal from me.
Zerah: No, really, Zora! Look! [Zora gasps. Zerah presses a button on the ring]
Zerah and Zora BFF Ring: It's the Best Friends Forever, Best Friends Forever Ring!
Zora: Our friendship ring! It is you! [crying as she covers her face with her pillow] How could you do thi-i-i-i-is?!?
Zerah: If it makes you feel any better, I haven't looked inside. [she throws the pillow away and snatches the box out of Zerah's hands]
Zora: [with a tear coming out of her eye] That's it, Zerah! You have crossed the line. As of right now, this friendship is over!
Zerah: [gasps and tears up] Really?
Zora: Nahhh, you can look inside it if you really want to.
Zerah: Okay! Oh, this is one the most exciting moments of my life! Well, here it goes! [he lifts the lid off the box] Huh?
Zora: Well, didn't I tell ya? [we see a string inside the box] Isn't it great?
Zerah: It's just a string.
Zora: A secret string!
Zerah: Boy, when you're right, you're right! That's some secret box you've got there! Yeah! Thanks for showing me that! [he puts the lid back on the box] Well, good night, Zora. See you tomorrow!
Zora: Good night, Zerah! [Zerah pops out of Zora's house]
Zerah: I should've known! It was just a piece of string all along! [he laughs] Wait 'till I tell Morty!
Zora: [laughs menacingly] Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, opening the... [a secret compartment opens] ...secret compartment of my secret box... [she takes out a photo] ...revealing one embarrassing snapshot of Zerah at the Christmas Party! [cut to the Bikini Atoll] Merry Christmas, Zerah! [laughs as the screen fades to black, ending the episode]