SVTFOE greentext: The First Time

STAR VS THE FORCES OF EVIL GREENTEXT: THE FIRST TIME









1.
Time for a sex-ed lecture — and that obviously meant: blushing faces, whispered jokes, and nervous tittering, all about the classroom.
Though Marco Ubaldo Diaz didn’t join in the general facetiousness, as he was nothing but a SERIOUS student: with SERIOUS attitude, SERIOUS self-control — and also the SERIOUS expectation that there was going be a test, about the current lesson.
While the boy was taking exhaustive notes, on the desk right beside, Star Butterfly was staring agape at the lecturer, with wide, unblinking eyes.
In front of the girl and the rest of the class, Ms Brenfahrt was droning on and on, using only the most clinical — and outright dreary — terminology.
After the biology teacher was done waving her laser pointer on the anatomic posters beside the whiteboard, she adjusted on her seat, and then inexorably proceeded to the next bullet-point of her lecture.
“…The act itself of reproduction” Brenfahrt explained, dead-eyed, “is done via intercourse between a male and a female, who—…”
The following sentences had Star getting more and more dumbfounded: up until she cupped the hands over her mouth, and gasped.
…And a second later, Star’s expression turned into an ear-too-ear smile.
‘Psst! Marco!’ she then called, under her breath; ‘Maaarcooo!’
Without even raising the eyes from his notebook, her ‘bestie’ absentmindedly replied:
‘What’s up, Star?’
While slowly leaning towards the boy, Star grinned allusively.
‘Marcoooo: does this remind ya of last night, Marco?!’ she insinuated.
‘…‘Remember’, what?’ the boy asked in earnest, while still scribbling.
Star stretched even closer to Marco’s desk, before whispering:
‘But THAT, Marco! That stuff there!” She then pointed at the sex-ed posters on the wall.
‘Last night, Marco” Star added, staring at the boy: “…You and I did …the COY-TUSS!’
Instantly, the Hispanic boy snapped out of his concentration.
‘What are you talking about?!’ Marco asked, upon turning to face the girl, and blushing.
Equally blushed, and still grinning, Star proceeded to allude:
‘Aww, no need to be so embarrassed!’ she said: ‘As Ms Brenfahrt says, what we did is a perfectly natural activity…’
Marco’s eyes began darting around, to desperately check if anybody had been eavesdropping that hushed conversation.
‘Stop saying those things, Star! People here could believe that crap!’
Not even trying to keep a façade of composure, Star turned her whole body towards Marco, and leaned languidly over her desk.
‘Oh, they better believe that! It’s been an UNFORGETTABLE experience, really!’
Marco’s jaw nearly hit the floor.
“What the heck are y—…?!” he gasped, before lowering the volume of his voice:
‘…Again: what are you talking about, Star?!’
‘Oh, d’ja really want me to spell it out, Marco?!’ she replied, affectedly shy: ‘You are a male, and I am a female: and last night, we two did the ‘in-tar-curse’ thingy, with all of the ‘djinny-toll’ stimulation, and the thrusting, an—…’
‘…NO, WE DIDN’T!’ Marco rushed to correct her, as clouds of steam were blowing out of his ears.
The boy quickly turned back and around, meeting the confused looks of some of his classmates.
‘Of course we did,’ Star reiterated, unwavering, ‘don’t you remember?!’
“…Oh, SHUT UP, STAR!” Marco burst out loudly, now completely red-faced.
It took him a few seconds, to regain some semblance of composure; then, the boy tried his best to ignore the astonished stares of the class.
After a minute or so, Marco whispered towards his girl friend:
‘You’re making stuff up, Star: we never… Nothing LIKE THAT ever happened!’
‘…Did TOO!’ muttered the girl, now more than a little bit miffed.
Marco still couldn’t make head or tail of that whole situation: why was Star so utterly deluded?
From what the boy could make out of it, regarding the topic of sexuality the princess of Mewni had been kept utterly sheltered for most of her life: and when also taking into consideration that Star’s only childhood friend was literally nothing but a floating head, it really should have come as NO SURPRISE, that most of the information the girl had been exposed to, in the last minutes, had been complete news to her.
Marco’s stare focused, and his eyebrows lowered:
‘…Star,’ he slowly said, ponderous: ‘are you talking about what happened inside the cursed temple, by any chance?’
…But the girl was now giving Marco the cold shoulder.
Marco huffed.
‘Come on, Star: I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this silly misunderstanding…!’
Star grimaced.
‘I’m not SILLY!’ she said, before waving her Magic Wand in Marco’s direction.
Suddenly, on top of the boy’s desk, a small creature puffed into existence: it was an anthropomorphic rat, donning a shiny metal armor, and insignias that depicted butterflies, stars, hearts, and spiders.
“How dare ye, puny earthling!” the tiny magical creature declared, with utmost indignation; “Rest assured that your vile insults towards the gracious princess shan’t go unpunished!…”
The diminutive rodent took off one of the armored gloves, and then threw it in Marco’s face.
“I formally challenge ye to a duel!” the mouse-knight uttered solemnly.
Unfazed, Marco simply swept the creature off his desk, before once again turning to the side.
‘Seriously, Star: you HAVE to understand: what happened last night was not s—…’
The girl interrupted him:
‘How can you be so INSENSITIVE, Marco?!’ Star muttered, holding back tears: ‘…And here I was being happy, that my first time had been with you — my ‘bestie’! …Why are you ruining it all?’
‘That was NOT your first time, Star!’ Marco specified, nearly losing his cool: ‘…Or, MY first time! …Look, it wasn’t even A time, for that matter!’
In all response, Star turned to look at Marco, and her cheek-hearts quickly transformed into illustrations of small daggers.
‘How can you say that?!’ she disdainfully protested.
Then, Star frowned.
‘Oooh, I get it, Marco’ she continued, bitterly nodding: ‘You regret that it was ME, you found yourself having sex with—…’
On top of his lungs, Marco interjected:
“…Star, it was NOT! sex!”
This time, everybody inside the room heard: and the collective reaction was for staying frozen still, and for staring at the boy in complete astonishment.
Scandalized, Ms Brenfahrt called out:
“…Marco Diaz!”
Promptly, the boy stood up from his seat, and declared:
“I can explain EVERYTHING, miss!”
…And then, Marco’s tirade began: for a long, uninterrupted stretch, the flustered teen went on spewing a hundred words a minute of a wild, crazy tale about an extra-dimensional dark temple, occupied by a mob of cultist ostriches, and the unmeasurable treasures they guarded.
Then, Marco tried his best to sum up the haphazardly circumstances that had led to him and Star getting stuck inside a golden casket, and the events that followed.
“…and so Star was like: ‘hey, homie: are you wearing a fanny pack, or are you just happy to see me?’, so I replied: ‘c’mon, Star, you KNOW I have a fanny pack: stop clowning about!’, but then she went—…”
Finally, Justin voiced everybody’s thoughts, by interrupting the boy in the red hoodie in order to ask:
“…What the heck are you rambling about, Diaz?!”
Undeterred, a blushed Marco theatrically turned towards the quarterback of the ‘Awesome Opossums’, to immediately clarify:
“…so, in conclusion, NO! PENETRATION! your honor!”
…And when the boy finally took in the general reaction of astonished silence, and the bewildered stares his peers were giving him, it was definitely too late.
Marco swallowed a lump, before his eyes searched for the girl of his dreams: like anybody else inside the classroom, Jackie Lynn Thomas was staring at Marco in a stupor. Then, her friend Janna leaned to whisper something in the platinum-blond girl’s ear — and Jackie reacted to that by chortling.
‘Oh, shoot’ Marco simply thought.
Resigned, the boy then simply walked up to the teacher, took the note that was being readily handed to him, and then went on his way to the principal’s office.
After one last glance in Star’s direction, the boy took notice of her scoffing, before he got out of the door.
There were no further doubts about it: Marco had just been screwed!



THE END