Anon vs Butts

>"Anon. What's this?"
>Twilight is holding a wrapped condom with her magic
"That? Oh, it's a contraceptive used back in my world."
>"Contraceptive? What's that?"
"Well, when a couple wants to go at it, the male puts this on so that he doesn't get the female pregnant."
>"Your people needed to wear this to avoid getting pregnant?"
"I suppose. Our biology and yours are different that way, I guess."
>"..."
...
>"Anon?"
"Yes?"
>"Can I see you wear it?"
"...why?"
>"I'm curious, is all. I've never seen this before, and I have a dying need to know how it looks."
>You start to sweat a little
"Uh, I dunno, twi. That's kind of an...intimate thing to do."
>"Oh, don't be silly. I'm your friend. We have nothing to hide. In fact, you're the only one I know who wears clothes all the time. I still don't understand why you humans are so insecure about your genitalia. It's natural, see?"
>She turns around and wiggles her behind at you, her nethers in plain view
>Your mind freezes
>Twilight giggles
>"What's the matter, anon? See something...interesting? Hey, Dash!"
>A cyan head peeks from the doorway
>"What?"
>"Anon here seems rather flustered when I do this"
>She then proceeds to shake her butt at you once again, the fat jiggling a little
>The blue one starts to laugh
>"Really? This is too rich. Hey, Anon! Check this out!"
>You turn around to see a rainbow tail swishing back and forth
>A star and a pair of lips were right under it
>You are at a loss for words
>An orange p0ne enters the library
>"Hey, Twi'. An ahrange tree appeared in mah fields, and ah was wonderin' if you had any book about how ta...what are y'all doin?"
>Dash speaks up
>"Hey, AJ! Guess what? Anon gets all hot and bothered when we do...this!"
>She and Twilight proceed to shake their plots at you once again, tails swishing back and forth
>You would speak up, but your mind is still rebooting
>Your brain must have skipped that last software update
>Applejack lets out a hearty chuckle
>"You're kiddin' me. Come on, Anon. Nothin' to be ashamed of. See? Fresh from the fields."
>She turns around and presents her glistening lips to your eyes, dripping wet from bucking trees all day
>You were running out of exit options, and fast
"Uh, guys. This is nice and all, but I really have to--"
>A high pitched voice interrupted you
>Oh, no
>You suddenly feel a weight on your head, followed by the smell of fresh cupcakes
>"Hi Anon! Watcha doin'?"
>Her face appears from above, a smile on her face
>She seems oblivious to the whole situation
"Oh, hello, Pinkie. H-how are you?"
>"I'm doing absolutely fantastic! Guess what? Fluttershy and I found this great place to go swimming and we were wondering if you'd like to join us? Isn't that right, Fluttershy?"
>"Mhm"
>You look to the left, and the yellow one was hovering right next to you
>Shaking her butt at you as well
>When did she get here?
>Pinkie spoke up
>"Hey, Fluttershy! What are you doing?"
>"I don't know. But everyone else here is doing it, so I thought it would be rude to not join in."
>Applejack spoke up
>"Guess what guys! Anon gets mighty uncomfortable when we do..."
>Everyone else shouted
>"this!"
>They then proceeded to shake their behinds at you once again, but albeit with more variety
>Purplesmart was moving in cirlces
>Dash was doing up and down
>Applejack was shaking from side to side, sweat still flying off her
>Fluttershy was moving in ways you couldn't really describe
>"Oooh, this sounds like fun! Hey, Nonny, look what I can do~"
>She turned around on your head, and lowered her plot
>Her lower lips were no farther than a couple inches from her face
>Swinging side to side
>The scent of candy filled your nostrils
>You don't know if it's sweat that's sliding down your forehead, but you don't want to find out
>"Pinkie! Stop cheating!"
>"Aww, but this is the best spot to do it..."
>She reluctantly hops off and lands a couple feet from you before restarting her routine
>You hear a voice come from the bathroom
>"That was simply divine. Thanks for letting me use your shower, Twilight. I must say, I feel refreshed...oh?"
>Pinkie speaks up
>"Hi, Rarity! Guess what? Non-non here gets really sweaty and makes funny faces when we do..."
>Everyone shouts and laughs
>"This!"
>You mouth "help me" to the fashion p0ne
>She was your last hope
>Your expression fell as she covered her mouth with her hoof and giggled
>"Well, you're in luck, Anon. This one is freshly cleaned. I hope you like it."
>Et tu, brute?
>She turned around and gave her marshmallow rump a shake at you, her squiggly tail bouncing from side to side
>Water fresh from her shower fell to the ground
>Twilight turns her head around, still shaking herself at you
>A smirk is on her face
>"Well, Anon. Which one entices you the most? Hmmmm?”

And thus concludes the tale of Anon. Wherever he went, ponies left and right would shake their flanks at him, all using it as a game to see which one he likes the most. He gets in trouble sometimes with the stallions who sometimes see it as more than just a game. He refuses to answer the question and so mares shake their rears at him wherever he goes as word spreads from Ponyville to Canterlot and beyond. He never did give an answer, but it still became something of an equine running joke that eventually grew into the dance craze called "the monkey," which took off first in clubs and bars where jokes were often told between mares about their technique and style.

Soon it became something of a culture phenomenon and while older ponies decry that the human has changed society for the worst, ponies still wiggle their butts in increasingly complex ways and stallions learned to thank the monkey for the monkey, as it spiced things up somewhat.

As for the human? He lived an average-ish life, or as average as any celebrity who started a running joke that went too far. He goes to the store and fillies still call him out and shake in attempts to finally solve the question of who has the most alluring flank.

The End.