Machine Doll

UNBREAKABLE MACHINE DOLL (Episode 2)

[Commie]
**3:10 - DETAIL - "Nobody here holds a candle to Magnus." --> "Magnus achieved highest GPA in history of the academy." --> Script does not specify what he's unparalleled at. Unnecessary simplification.
*10:14 - DETAIL/NUANCE - "Yes. A destroyed doll was found behind the Technology Department" --> "Yes. A doll has been devoured behind the Engineering Building" -- "eaten" is a critical keyword for this line, because that's the sign that it's the act of Cannibal Candy. Also "Technology Department" is a pretty lazy translation.
**12:08 - LITERAL/LOGIC - "Please. Over my dead body. / Wait, that's wrong. / {\i1}You're{\i0} the one who needs to die. / What part of that was "wrong"?" --> LAST LINE: "How did you get it so wrong the first time?" -- He's sarcastically implying she purposefully made the statement more hurtful. Not acknowledgement of her first statement. Also, clearly she got their names wrong in that scene with current translations lol
*12:23 - NUANCE - "If you take too long, I'll reduce the dorm to rubble" --> "{i1}Before{\i1} I reduce the dorm to rubble -- No need to reverse a totally understandable direct translation and eliminate the passive-aggressive tone.
*14:16 - NUANCE - "You're free after class, right?" --> "Don't make any plans for tomorrow after class."
*16:26 - MISSING LINE - "Stop resisting."
**18:40 - ERROR - "I didn't think it'd be fair if I didn't have some personal stake in it." --> "It would feel wrong if I wasn't putting myself at risk too." -- "Personal stake" means to have interest in something. It sounds like he made a bet.

[FFF]
3:44 - NUANCE/NEGLIGIBLE - "I couldn't stop them!" --> "I couldn't protect you!" -- Literally more like "I was right there with you (but I let them hurt you)"
*3:00 - DETAIL - "combat grades" --> "GPA" OR "grades" --> Specifically said 「総合成績」 = "cumulative grades"
*10:56 - NUANCE - "...was the "Iron Baller"." -- "...was an iron baller." -- General category, not its name.
**12:04 - LITERAL/LOGIC - "Save your sleep-talking for when you're dead. / Wait, I got that wrong. / Die. / Which part of that was wrong?" --> LAST LINE: "How did you get it so wrong the first time?" OR "How was your previous comment anything close to "die"?" -- He's sarcastically implying she purposefully made the statement more hurtful. Not acknowledgement of her first statement. It's somewhat understandable still, but very poorly handled.
*17:42 - NUANCE - "freak" --> "pervert"
*20:18 - NUANCE - "So Felix helps me out as a disciplinary officer." --> "So Felix tries his best to look out for me as a disciplinary officer" -- The current translation sounds like he's cleaning up her mess or helping her fight enemies back, or out of pity. The beef of this line is that she thinks he's being kind to her simply because of his position as a disciplinary officer, to prevent her from getting into fights like they did earlier in episode.

[Hiryuu]
*3:44 - NUANCE - "Yaya should have..." --> "I couldn't protect you..." -- Literally more like "I was right there with you (but I let them hurt you)"
*10:04 - DETAIL/NUANCE - "Yes. A doll's remnants were found behind the Technology Department" --> "Yes. A doll has been devoured behind the Engineering Building" -- "eaten" is a critical keyword for this line, because that's the sign that it's the act of Cannibal Candy. Also "Technology Department" is a pretty lazy translation.
**11:58 - LITERAL/LOGIC - "Please. Not even for your dying wish. / That doesn't sound right. / Please die. / Why'd you correct {\i1}that{\i0} part?" -- Same issue as [Commie] and [FFF] **12:04
*12:23 - NUANCE - "Otherwise Yaya will wreck the room." --> "{i1}Before{\i1} I reduce the dorm to rubble -- No need to reverse a totally understandable direct translation and eliminate the passive-aggressive tone.
*12:25 - CONSISTENCY/DETAIL - "Don't turn it into a ruin" --> Poor continuity and unnecessary simplification.