Ghost anon part one

>you are anon.
>this is Equestria
>before, you thought you were gonna have some fun times.
>rape, avoiding rape, relationships, drinking, making friends...
>maybe some spaghetti or two
>unfortunately, you are wrong.
>or rather, were wrong.
>now?
>you're dead.
>ghost
>that's it.
>and before you maybe thought it was from something cool, fate had to intervene on our behalf and tell you that death is just as dumb here as it was on Earth.
>your body couldn't handle the toxicity from forcing your diet to change in order to fit in with an herbivore society. you didn't think it was REALLY that easy, did you?
>in any case, your funeral was going on.
>strange, you would have bet anything that Twilight would be studying your corpse once you kicked it
>who cares.
>you consider, for a brief moment, if repossessing your body would make you a lich.
>it would, but that'd also make you UNIMAGINATIVE.
>someone's done that, no need to horn in on their ideas
>Well your funeral was nice and all, but you just stood there, waving goodbye...[spoiler]for 50 years...[/spoiler]
>but in all seriousness, somep0ny noticed you.
>none other than Lyra Heartstrings
>well.
>if that ain't the most plot convenient thang ya ever did see.
>you waved
>and she fainted.
>oh well.
>in life, you managed to at LEAST make friends with the ever-popular mane 6.
>you never really made it much farther than that, dying in your second week
>cest la vie. que sera sera. whateverthefuck, youdontgivea damn.
>you expected an afterlife
>this is what you got.
>time to make do.
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>well. still dead. nothing to do
>so...howboutdemlakerseh.jpg
>if Lyra is the only one noticing you, its probably for the best, or at least the most laughs, if you follow her.
>it isn't stalking if your dead, right?
>right, its haunting.
>ah, she's coming to now that Bon Bon's getting her up
>just put on your cool face. no problems here, officer
>she seems to be taking it well enough
>alright, lezdodis.gif
>"Heya there, Lyra!"
>her eyes went right the hell open.
>good, you can talk to her.
>Bon Bon didn't notice, she's only worried that her special somep0ny is flipping out.
>cooooool
>man, this is gonna be just like that movie
>not Beetlejuice. that was cool, but you're not the ghost with the most. at least, not yet.
>no it was that one movie...
>Drop Dead Fred.
>your going to be her spectral best friend whether she wants it or not
>you chuckle to yourself, and Lyra gets up at long last
>after checking around, she whispers:
>"Are you real, Anon?"
2/X
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>"Of course he was real, Lyra." Bon Bon speaks at last. "And now he's gone. I know you never got to meet him but its too late now."
>pulling a shit eating grin you lean in reeeeaaaal close, and put your arm around Bon Bon
>"Its never too late to be a friend! Ain't that right, BonBon?"
>you try to run your hand down Bon Bon's mane, when you find that your hand goes straight through her.
>huh.
>shivering, Bon Bon speaks up
>"It's getting cold, Lyra, let's go home."
>she has noooooo idea what just happened, but if what you just did is any indication, home isn't going to be much warmer!
>you make it back to their place, Lyra was taking glances at you walking right alongside them both.
>occasionally you made funny faces and skipped, but it didn't seem to make her chuckle.
>hmm, time to step up the game
>you'll show those field too long errors who is boss
>comically, you wait by the door for Bon Bon to slam it closed
>itbegins
>sure enough, she slams it closed from the outside coming in, "connecting" with the back of your head
>you hear the noise and strike a loopy pose, crossing your eyes and falling forward
>what you didn't expect was that you'd still feel the floor as it smacked you right in the shnoz
>"Yeeeowch!"
>Lyra stifles a giggle
>mission accomplished.jpg
>Bon Bon, however, seems unamused
>"alright Lyra, what are you laughing at now?"
3/X
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>getting back up, you wiggle your eyebrows and prepare yourself to rustle up some laughs
>not jimmies
>fuck jimmies
>Lyra and Bon Bon converse amongst themselves, Bon Bon assumes that maybe Lyra's fascination with humans is getting to her, and Lyra defends her position, not willing to mention your ghost in case she might lose the argument
>bored, you wander the halls for something funny to do
>a dark room comes up, and you are glad that light doesn't affect your vision anymore
>being dead has some benefits, awwriiight
>to your surprise, and much to the rustling of your jimmies, you find...
>a room full of developing photos
>each one is of you
>in a different position
>you can tell that she's been taking these pictures since day one
>and this picture...
>"HEY!"
>you shouted, and Lyra can hear you...
>dumbass.
>it's a picture of you getting out of the shower
>without thinking your snag the picture off the clothesline and bring it right out, ready to demand an explanation
>holdononecottonpickinsecond
>back up
>you snatched it right off the line?
>ohohoho, dis gon b gud
>you try to bring the pic into the lit hallway, but as the light reaches your hand, the picture falls to the ground
>"My photo!" Lyra rushes to her prize that you dropped ever so unceremoniously "Nnnnoooooooo!!!"
>Sigh "Lyra. Just get rid of those photos already" Bon Bon being Bon Bon.
>you whisper
>"That's probably for the best."
>she throws you a glare like it's your fault
>it is, but how are you gonna punish a ghost?
>you aren't, that's how.
>that's what you thought...but you were wrong...
4/X
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>You yuck it up while Lyra collects and stores all the photos from the darkened room.
>shit, funny, right. that's the agenda.
>make laughs, then laugh.
>well, not much chance of the door thing happening again, you gotta mix it up
>this isn't your momma's Loony Tunes, son!
>you have no idea what you're doing, but you gotta make it good.
>p0nies find derpy funny, but to copy her would also be UNIMAGINATIVE.
>shit.
>you had a great premise, and you can't think of a single thing to do
>"Hey Bon Bon..." Lyra begins
>"Yeah, what is it?"
>"You wanna...fool around?"
>Oh God No
>the little minx figured it out.
>you turn 360 degrees and try to escape
>its too late for you, traveler. you are already dead.
>you try to push past her and are stopped, turns out whatever makes her able to see you also makes her able to touch you.
>and as a ghost, you don't exactly have the weight or leverage to shove a p0ny
>"Y'know, I kinda do." Bon Bon, why do you put up with this?
>Lyra shoves you discreetly into the bedroom, and holds you there until Bon Bon is in too, closing the door afterwards.


>if you could vomit, you would
>if you could kill yourself, you would
>you can scream, but it doesn't stop what's going on
>in fact, your insistence only makes her hotter
>you're pretty sure she's a warrior.
5/5