The Bonzer Battler of Bel Air

Now, this is a yarn all about how
My life got changed ass over tit
And I'd like to take a smoko
Just park yer arse
I'll tell ya how I became the battler of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the farmyard was where I spent most of my days
Yarnin' beerin' relaxing with the boys
And all kickin' some AFL outside of the school
When a couple of bots who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little blue and my mum got scared
She said 'You're packin' off to your aunt and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my swag and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Waltzing Matilda on and said, 'I might as well go troppo'.

First class, this is grouse
Drinking a middy out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air live like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're wankers, nits, all that
Is this the type of place that they just this bloke?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the battler of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a bloke who looked like a divvy bastard standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "bonzer" and it had sheilas in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Hey mate, to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the driver 'Hey mate, later alligator'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To get my good possie as the Battler of Bel Air