The hands of the clock on the classroom wall couldn’t move any slower.
As you take note of this, you debate with yourself on whether the fact that you’re learning Swedish is worse than the fact that learning Swedish is compulsory or not.
It’s scary how this play-pretend seems to be more interesting for you than you professor’s class, especially given how much this topic annoys you when it’s discussed on tv.
Then something slowly takes you back to this morning: your friend made you promise to help him with searching a guitarist for his band.
Aki is 17 and still believes he’s going to be a rockstar one day, despite the fact that his singing is mediocre at best. One would guess that being 17 is enough to grow out of the metal band fantasy, but as for every rule there are exceptions.

You start scanning the list of potential candidates, that pretty much overlaps with the list of your friends. Unfortunately no one of them is interested in guitars or musical instruments in general, exception made for some of the girls you know who play piano.
There is, however, a guy who might fit the bill. Antti is in your Advanced Maths and History classes, but he’s more an acquaintance than a real friend. Asking something like that of him would be a little bit embarrassing for you, and there’s no friend of yours who could act as a middleman, putting you two in touch.
What’s more, you are not exactly sure Antti plays the guitar. It’s just something you think you remember, but there’s no definitive evidence on that.

Before you can reach a final verdict, the bell rings, and you start packing your stuff.
Then, in the middle of the process, you feel someone gently tapping on your shoulder. You turn around to see Seppo standing right next to you.
“Hi, Martti. How are you doing?”
Seppo is in your Swedish and Chemistry classes. You’re not exactly friends, so the fact that he’s talking with you might mean he needs something of you. Probably your Chemistry notes, given that Swedish was never your forte.
“I am alright I guess. How are you? Anything I can help you with?”
“If you don’t mind, could you lend me your Chemistry notes? I am really struggling with it”
Predictable as clockwork. You reach for your bag and start digging until your hands meet with a yellow notebook. You pass it to Seppo, who smiles brightly.
“Thanks, man! I would be more than glad to return the favor”
Seppo isn’t exactly the brightest student, but he’s rather popular. Using his connections to your advantage sounds like a good idea.
“Sure, no problem. By the way, do you know any guitarist? I am sorry to bother you with this, but I promised my friend I would help him look for one”

Seppo strokes his chin pensively. “No one really comes to mind, I am sorry”.
It seems like your legendary bad luck struck again. Nevertheless, you force yourself to ask one more thing, just to fully cash in your credit with Seppo.
“What about Antti? Doesn’t he play the guitar?”
The question seems to take him by surprise, but he snaps out of it quickly.
“Well I don’t know. Antti and I played pesäpallo together, but he never mentioned playing any instruments. Why don't you join me for lunch? We'll sit at his table and I will introduce him to you. I am sure he's eating alone anyway"

Maybe your luck has taken a turn for the best. You get up and follow Seppo out of the classroom and into the cafeteria.

You both grab the least horrible food the cafeteria has to offer, and sit down at Antti's table. He waves at Seppo, but looks at you quizzically.

"Have we met before?"
"I guess. I am Martti, we're in the same class of Advanced Mathematics. And History I guess".
He nods. "Yeah, I guess I remember you. Are you friends with Seppo?"
"Yeah. We study Chemistry together".
Seppo seems to be grateful of the fact that you describe him as a peer rather than a guy who needs you help.

You nibble your food, barely stomaching its horrible taste. Fish sticks really are the worse kind of meal the cafeteria has to offer, and you always feel nauseous after eating them.

Your gaze meets Antti's, so you decide to seize the moment.
"Antti, don't you play the guitar?"

He is rather shocked, as he almost drops the fork.
"The guitar? Ah, the guitar. No, I don't play the guitar. Why would you ask me about the guitar? I have never even come to school with a guitar"
He's visibly shaken. You must have struck a nerve, and you feel bad about it. The rest of the lunch goes on pitifully, with you being remorseful and quiet.

Antti gets up quickly as soon as he finishes the meal, almost tripping on his chair. He pats you on the shoulder, and you feel something trickle down from it.
What seems to be a piece of paper ends up on your chair, in the empty space between your legs. You grab it and put it in your pocket.
You consume your lunch as fast as you can, take your leave with a wave, and rush to the bathroom to check what the note is about.
It's quickly scribbled, and it says "skip history meet me in the music room".
No doubt, Antti left it.
Skipping classes isn't the healthiest of habits, but seeing Antti panicking and flipping makes you distressed. What if he will report you for harassment if you don't go? What if he will blackmail you?
Probably his intentions aren't that dark. Plus, you can't deny a certain curiosity to discover more about him.
As you walk to the music room, you start thinking to yourself.

Have you insulted him, or his skills? Maybe he had to drop the guitar at one point because he felt he wasn't good enough. Maybe he had to drop it because of family issues.
Once again, you shake off the paranoia. It's scaring how easily your mind fills with negativity. You weren't always this way. What changed you?
Before you can finish your trail of thought, you find yourself at the door of the music room. You knock a couple of times, before you hear a familiar voice.
"Come in, please".

Without further ado, you enter.
Antti is sitting in the first row, a guitar on his legs. It seems like one he borrowed from the music room, rather than one he brought from home.
"Why the guitar?", you ask.
"I will be asking the questions for now. First of all, what will happen on the second of June?"
"Hmm, the school will be over?"
"That's correct, but it's also not the answer I was looking for. What's Aino's favorite book?"
"I barely know her, how would I know?"
"What happened to Sanna's dog before the start of the school year?"
"I DON'T KNOW! There are tonnes of Sanna I know, some of them must have a dog. What's with you and these silly questions?"
Antti laughs softly. "Well well well. I thought a little secret of mine was at risk. Now, shall I play this guitar for you?"
"Uh, you told me you can't. You literally told me you can't play that, and fretted over it too"
He doesn't give you time to answer. He grabs the guitar and plays it like a pro, changing position as he goes on, even executing a rather complex solo.

His skill is astounding. You simply can't help clapping at the end of his performance.
He takes an half-serious bow
"Thank you, thank you. I will be here all week".
Then he laughs again, this time louder.
"I don't understand. I thought you couldn't play it. Why would you lie to me?"
Antti gets up, wraps up the guitar in its sheath, and then takes a sit at the teacher's desk.
"As I said, I am the one asking questions here. So now, Martti. Do you believe in an omnipotent God?""I don't really believe that. I mean, those are the remnants of old superstitions. I believe in freedom of religion, or lack thereof. Science gives me all the answers I need anyway".
"Hmm, I see", he says, nodding.
"And what about this reality? Do you think it's... real?"
You roll your eyes. Is this guy trying to pull a Descartes on you?
"No of course, this is not real, an Evil Demon is playing with my senses, right? Bring it on, I am ready for this"
Another laughter.
"You're well versed in philosophy. That's great. But I want your honest answer. Is this reality real?"
You shrug. "It might be. It might be not. Doesn't really matter, now does it? We believe for convention that it is, because we all perceive the sky to be blue, the ice to be cold and the fire to be hot. In short, debating whether our reality is real or not is pointless. We have no means of telling if it is or not, so we must stick with what we can all agree upon".
"Good answer. But what if I were to tell you that this reality is fake? Could you bear with it?"
"I guess. This is purely a theoretical exercise, however. Unless, by all means, you have the evidence that this is indeed all a deceit"
"But you see, friend. I do have the evidence. You remembered about me playing the guitar, but I never played the guitar before in this timeline. I was afraid you, too, were awaken. Afraid? No, who am I fooling. I was ecstatic at the thought that someone finally broke the code."
"Ecstatic? The code? Is this Matrix?"
"It's funny that you mention this movie. You have never seen it, yet you remember the plot perfectly".
You try to raise an objection, but you're unable to. You do know the plot, somehow. But you can't recall watching the movie.
"Tell me, Martti. If God was omnipotent, could he begin in the middle of history, rather than at the beginning?"
"Yeah, if he's omnipotent. But then it wouldn't be the middle anymore. It would be the beginning anyway, because there would be no other point in time before that"
"Sure, but the common folk couldn't tell that the world had just begun. They'd have fake memories about what they falsely assume is their past. For all we know, history might have begun an hour ago, 2 weeks ago, or... 7 months, 3 weeks and 2 days ago".

Something about this conversation is unsettling. You notice you're shaking.
"Have you read Nietzsche, my friend? Do you know about the Übermensch?"
"Yes, Antti, very fascinating. I'd love to have a deep, meaningful conversation with you, but I had hoped you'd have something more relevant to tell me"
Antti raises an eyebrow, like if you were the one spouting nonsense.
"This is very relevant, Martti. Don't you understand? This reality is false. It's a cycle of events that are all pretty much the same. Only one person has the power to really influence this world"
"Let me guess: this person is you".
Another faint smile. "It is me right now. It used to be.. someone else. But now it's me. Only I can see through the falsehood of this reality, and acknowledge its limited scope".
"This makes no sense. You're just having delusions of grandeur. Who would have fabricated this reality?"
"Ah, that's a mystery. The evil Demiurge? The benevolent Father God? And yet this is all fake. This reality, Martti, is just a dating simulator".
"A... dating simulator?"
"Yes. A popular kind of visual novels in which the main character can romance one of multiple girls. Spoiler alert, you're not the main character"
"How do you know we're in one?"
"Visual novels exist in this counterfeit reality too. Not like you could get to play them: the code of the game only goes that far. All in all, this reality mimics pretty well all the special traits of dating sims. Therefore, even if we're not in a dating simulator strictly speaking, we're in something that resembles one".
You slowly get your bag from the ground, and prepare to leave. That jackass could have just told you he didn't want people to know he played the guitar

"Leaving already? Why so soon?"
"I have no time to waste with your fantasies. Next time, consider getting to the point quicker".
"Fair enough, fair enough. Then, at least shake my hand before leaving. As a proof that we'll be friends from now on"
You sigh. You'll just shake his hand, how can that possibly hurt you?

You walk back a few steps towards Antti's outstretched hand. The second you touch it, you feel electricity around it. You hesitate, and he takes advantage of it by grabbing your hand himself.
Your body is in pain and your mind overloads. You see the same school year repeat over and over with minimal variations. How many times? 100, 200? You can't tell. You perceive all your memories beside those that you are acquiring as fake. This reality is false. It's always been about a guy getting one girl. Which one in particular doesn't matter. You don't matter either, for that purpose.
As you slowly regain consciousness, you find yourself in fetal position on the floor, panting loudly.
"You should have known. After all, simulated realities outnumber actual realities. The odds were not in our favor".
You slowly get up, holding your head between your arms
"This can't... what did you do to me?"
"Oh, that? Consider it a symbol of friendship. The Real Sight. From now on you will be aware of the cyclical nature of this Universe. Give it back to me at the end of this schoolyear, will you? It's a lease, not a present"
"What if I don't? What if I keep it with me?"
He shrugs. "The other guy didn't want it. I assume sooner or later you will be better off without it too. It's just a matter of time".
"There must be something we can do, to return masters of our destiny!"
Antti shakes his head. "No, there's nothing. We're secondary characters, and that's what we'll ever be".

As you're talking, you notice someone getting it. It's the janitor.
"Martti, this Universe does not care about secondaries. We are expendable. The game can go on without us"
The janitor seems to be minding his own business, as Antti gets up and produces a knife.
"What are you doing?"
The janitor commits the fatal mistake of turning his back on your classmate. Before he realizes it, he's been stabbed once, then twice, as Antti laughs maniacally.
"Something we can do?"
The janitor is stabbed again and again, in a perverted frenzy
"Masters of our destiny?"
The janitor receives the final stab. Finally, he falls on the ground lifeless, as his killer laughs hysterically.

"There is only the ride into obsession, Martti. And yours has just begun"

=========================================================================================

You have lost the count of the days you’ve now spent apathetically in bed. It’s probably been around 10, however. The first days, it was paranoia. You were sure that the police was going to knock on your door, get you out of the bed, and drag you to jail. You were already planning on pleading guilty, on saying that you had been emotionally scarred, too afraid of retaliation to speak.
But that day never came. No officer came at your door. The tv never reported the murder of a janitor.
That made you fall into depression. No one cared for the fate of an innocent man, the bad guys got away scot-free, while the family of the victim waits in vain for his return. Then you realized that this universe is cyclical in its nature, and that’s when the apathy kicked in.
In the past, you would have blamed your parents and your friends for not caring enough to shake you up. But now, you’ve just accepted this is beyond their possibilities. They can only do what they’re programmed to do, and you’re a bug, a fatal exception, something that wasn’t supposed to occur.
What’s worse, it’s not even clear what part of this is or isn’t your doing. What part of your actions stems from your own free will and what part of it is embedded in the code of the dating sim, binding your decision and making them irreversible before you have a chance to. The last words uttered by Antti before he left you still echo in your mind: there’s no way to become master of your own destiny. Even being aware of what surrounds you can only drive you insane.
You hadn’t considered suicide before, but you must admit that the possibility would sound appealing now, if it wasn’t simply pointless.

Your phone rings, awakening you from your brooding. It’s Aki.
“Yo, man. Where’s my guitarist?”
The hopes that your friend would be concerned about you are shattered in seconds. Then again, maybe this guitarist thing is sort of important for the game, more so than you thought, and so the forces of the Universe are conspiring against you. A robot can’t do what it’s not programmed to do, and you must come to accept that people around you are no more than that, however painful or hard that realization might be
“I am afraid I could find no one. How’s life, by the way?” you ask him, in the hope of eliciting more from him than questions about his band
“Ah that’s alright. Yeah I am doing good. Well see you tomorrow at school”.
He hangs up without another word. You throw the phone on the ground in frustration.
Shitty friends, shitty life, shitty Universe.
Antti asked you if you believed in an omnipotent God. Your answer hasn’t changed, you don’t believe in one, but if He (or She, or It) exists, He must be evil indeed. Couldn’t this have been a Role-Playing Game in which every character has a fair shot at life?
But there’s no point in brooding about that right now. That won’t change the laws of nature.
If there is a way to change them, then Antti is the only one who knows enough.

He might even have found a way of doing so, and decided against it. Maybe he does enjoy having his own personal school-sized sandbox playground after all. What made him so exceptionally cynical? Being exposed to the reality of this Universe or some hidden files that decided his personality?
Speculation, speculation. The only person who can give you a clear answer is Antti.
Of course meeting him means going to school, and going to school means getting out of your apathetic routine, as well as talking with the single most unbalanced human being in, quite possibly, the entire Universe.

There's nothing you can accomplish simply loitering around in the house and complaining about life. Tomorrow is the day you go back to class. It will be a test to see how the people around will react, too.
The rest of the day passes uneventfully. The news report talk about the same nonsense as always, except this time you're painfully more aware of how nonsensical the news are.
You embrace sleeping time with open arms, somewhat excited for tomorrow.

As it happens, you wake up before the alarm goes off. You take the first shower of the week, change into clean clothes and head for the bus stop. The trip isn't too long, and you're school
well before other students.
More and more people walk in, including several friends of yours, and no one stops by to ask you how are you or what happened. Not even the teachers question your behavior or absence.
Crestfallen, you take your seat in Advance Mathematics. As your prof begins the explanation of differential calculus, you catch a glimpse of Antti, smugly looking at you from his chair in the last row. Blonde buzzcut hair and blue eyes, Antti smiles triumphantly, like a gladiator who has tamed the most ferocious beast in the Arena.
How many students like you did he bend?
How many students did he break?

Maybe this is the purpose he found in his life: torturing others by exposing them to a painful truth, then observing as they fall into obsession.
Mathematics is one of your favorite subjects, but you simply can't focus today. The teacher however doesn't notice your distraction, and instead picks on Daniel, a mediocre student that was intently looking at his notes.
Class is over relatively soon, and your "friend" Antti walks up to you.
"Well hello there. Enjoyed the holidays?"
You would retort, if the awareness of the fact that he's the only one in the entire school who noticed didn't hold you back.
"I was... thinking about stuff".Oh, about stuff. How fascinating"
"Yeah yeah, you've probably been there too"
He looks to you with an air of superiority.
"Not really"
You sigh. "Of course. You're too good to break, right?"
He shrugs. "It's not that. It's that, what's the point in getting worked up about something you can't solve anyway?"
"That depends: have you ever tried solving it to begin with?"
The question takes him by surprise, at least a little. He stutters and struggles for a few seconds, before giving a clear answer
"Let's put it this way: 'fixing' it might bring more harm than good"
"How so?"
"Well, how would you go about 'fixing' it? Would you awake every secondary character? Most of them wouldn't be able to bear with it. Unless you're talking about messing with the source code, that'd be straight-up folly"
He's probably right. 'Fixing' this is much easier said than done.
"At least tell me this: why me? Why did you pick me, of all people?"
Another shrug. "You all ask the same question, all the time. You just be more patient and listen to the things I tell you. Last time, we were talking about Nietzsche and his Übermensch. Well, you see, the super-man is able to accept the Eternal Return. He doesn't shy away from it. I am looking for a person like that, one who isn't afraid to be stuck in a circular reality"
"You don't seem to mind. Maybe you should look no further"
"I do not mind, indeed, but that's a different concept than rejoicing about it. Being truly enthusiastic of reviving the same 365 days over and over... there must be a secondary character in this game who will fit the bill".
"Then, what made you think it was me?"
"Because you remembered. Not many secondaries manage to pick something back from their past existence, but you did it. I felt like you deserved a token of appreciation"
"You just want to go back to not being aware of this, don't you?"
This time he sighs
"I guess. I mean it's funny being like a God to the people in this dimension, but it's not as fun when you know you simply can't touch the people whose armor plot is too thick. Besides, the guy before me wanted to take a vacation too, why is it so strange that I want to take one too?"
"I don't know. I guess the role always suited you. It fits you well, the smug ruler of the mini-verse".
He laughs an hearty laugh, one without malice nor mockery.
"You're a nice guy, Martti. I don't regret picking you. So, tell me, what do you really want?"

"You speak of impossible things. Let's accomplish them together"
Antti raises his eyebrow.
"Now you've piqued my interest. What do you want to do?"
"Well, realistically? Probably just give this whole super powers things back to the owners, which I assume you know. More idealistically, I want everyone to be free from this loop, if there even is a way. You know, I would like people to be free to live their lives."
"So you want to mess with the source code?"
"What do we have to lose? I mean it can't be more difficult than to program a videogame. Let's get someone who's really good at programming. Or let's learn programming ourselves"
"You do realize no one is good at programming in this extremely limited reality, right? The videogames you believe you've played are just a fake memory. And there's little reason to believe regular programming works like programming in what is, for all intents and purposes, the program code of the Universe. Anyway, it's worth a shot. We'll start with the basics".
He comes closer to you, his arms stretched out towards you and his eyes closed. His hands emit a faint glow that lasts for a few minutes before disappearing.
"This is the Warm Glow. It's your way to find and attract the main girls in this story" He winks. "I hope you don't mind the fact that I will be keeping the last one. You know, this one is probably just better off in my hands"
"I guess I have no objections to that. I will be leaving now", you say, as you get up.
"See you around man", he answers, waving at you, and you wave back.
You switch from class to class, moving around the school like a ravenous hyena looking for his prey. You don't know what a 'main girl' looks like, surely there's plenty of pretty ones, but there must be more to it.
In your reckless search, you bump into Antti again.
"I was wondering, how does the main character attract girls now that we have the Warm Glow?"
"Oh he still gets them, because the game is wired that way. He just always gets the bad ending".

The last lesson of the day is over before your research has produced anything noteworthy.
"There will be time tomorrow", you tell yourself.
Then, almost by magic, two figures in the crowd start to shine. Focusing on them, you're able to see through the crowd and identify them. One is Jenny, one of the most popular girls in school. The other is Siiri, a member of the Student Council. They're heading in opposite directions, and you won't have a chance to follow both of them today.
Jenny is probably the easiest one to approach. She isn't as busy as Siiri, and saying the wrong thing by mistake won't warrant an official complaint by the Student Council.
"Hey, Jenny!" you say, as you approach her.
"Hello. You're Martti, right?"
"Correct!", you say, wondering if this is the effect of the Warm Glow or simply Jenny's good knowledge of the students at school.
"So...huh..." you approached her without thinking of a good excuse first. You get mad at yourself briefly, and then try thinking
Jenny looks at you with an air of pure patience and understanding, that helps you calm down and finally find the perfect excuse.
"Oh, Professor Pohjolainen said that you haven't submitted your preferred destination for the school trip yet. Please do so at your earliest convenience"
Your communication, an half-truth at best, still earns you an appreciative smile. You feel a pang of guilt because of that.
"Thank you so much, Martti, I am almost forgot. I owe you one!"
This must be the Glow doing its magic, because after taking a few steps towards the exit, Jenny turns around.
"Oh, right, there will be a party at my place on Friday. I would like it if you could join us"
You've always detested High School parties, the alcohol, the group sauna, the horrible music. But this is a golden chance at learning more. You accept after a bit of hesitation, thanking the girl for her kindness, and then watching her leave.
So that's what the life of the main character is, huh? Antti must have had his share of fun.

Melancholy gets to you again on the way home, as you reason on how unfair a world like this is to its inhabitants. Affection is for one person only in the Universe.
Your mother is there when you come home from school.
"Oh hello there Martti, how was class today?", she asks.
"Oh it was alright. I got invited to a party too".
"That's great", she says, smiling at you. Then she turns serious once more.
"You know, your dad was pretty worried about you skipping school all those days. He wasn't mad or upset, he just thought something was wrong and meant to talk with you, but never managed to. He was even considering calling a psychologist to help you in his place. I am sure he will be relieved to know you're fine now".
You head to your room feeling bittersweet, slowly realizing what your mother said.
Your dad wanted to help you, but he never could, because the game doesn't work that way. He put in his best effort for a person he cared about. He felt worried, he felt compelled to act. Even if this reality is false, its inhabitants' feelings are not. They feel sad, happy and worried, and having someone who cares about you, even if conditioned by the script of the game, seems like the greatest treasure to you right now. The thing that makes this existence, however shallow and fake, worth living.