Britanon in Equestria - Chapter 6

>”Equestria?” you say.
>You’re willing to accept a lot of weirdness, but this was pushing things a bit. “This country is called Equestria?”
>”Mm-hm” Celestia nods, floating a tea cup to her lips and taking a sip. “Is there a problem?”
>”N-no. No ma’am. I should have guessed, really.”
>She just smiles again, and pours you a cup. “Sugar?”
>This princess makes you uneasy. For all her kindness and beauty (you know, for a horse) you’ve the impression that you’re only alive because she wills it. One wrong word or step, and you could be looking at the wrong end of an axe. Or worse.
>You briefly wonder if they use iron maidens. Even if they did, they’d probably be too small for you.
>Or would that just make it worse?
>”Uh, no thank you, just milk. If horses serve milk.”
>Oh god, you’ve said something wrong. She shoots you a look that you swear stops your heart for a moment.
>”I believe the correct word is ‘ponies’”
>”S-sorry ma’am”
>”You wouldn’t like to be called an ape, would you?”
>”No ma’am. Sorry ma’am”
>She keeps that look locked on you for a few more seconds, then she takes another sip of tea and the serene smile returns.
>You decide not to drink your tea.

>”I expect you’ve many questions” she continues, as if nothing had happened. “But I’m afraid I’ve little time to answer them. Royal duties, you understand.”
>You didn’t really, but you nod regardless.
>”For now, I would like you to stay with my protege, Twilight Sparkle. Please try and answer any questions she may ask, or complete any tasks she may set. Consider her your... minder, for the time being”
>You already don’t like the sound of this. “For how long, ma’am?”
>”Until I am sure about your intentions. I am willing to grant you the benefit of the doubt right now, but I would prefer you to be watched. And rest assured Anonymous, if I hear that you have harmed any of my little ponies, the consequences will be... dire”
>She leans in close, giving you that terrifying look again. “Do you like bananas?” she whispers.
>Well, that was unexpected. You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so scared. You shake your head a tiny amount.
>”Wonderful”.
>She smiles again, and stands up. “I believe this concludes our meeting.”
>”Wait, already? Bu-”
>”I’ll be in touch”
>”Do you know how to sen-”
>”Don’t let me detain you any longer”
>It was clear you weren’t going home just yet. With a sigh you nod your head and rise to leave.
>As you walk towards the doors an envelope floats over your shoulder and hangs in front of your face.
>”Oh, and take this” Celestia says to your back. “You should find it useful. Do be careful with it though, it’s worth more than you are.”
>With that stinging comment ringing in your ears, you and the six hor- ponies leave the room, the doors magically swinging shut behind you.

>As the doors close, you breath out in relief. Princess Celestia had definitely left a strong first impression on you.
>You were wary of even looking at any ponies funny, right now.
>You open the envelope, and tip its contents into your hand. A small necklace falls out.
>The very fine chain is golden, and it has a large sapphire attached to the end. At least, you assume it’s a sapphire.
>That thing is massive. If you weren’t in a land of talking ponies, you think it were a costume prop.
>Speaking of talking ponies, you look to the six that have been accompanying you. They’re all staring at you with various expressions. The purple unicorn mimes putting the necklace around her neck, then points to you.
>You shrug, and put the necklace on. Nothing seems to happen, no flashes of light or sparkles or anything. It was rather disappointing, to be honest.
>”Is something supposed to hap-”
>”HAHAHA! See!” the pink one suddenly squeals happily. “I TOLD YOU it could talk! You owe me ten bits Rarity!”
>You shriek like a little girl and jump backwards. “Bloody hell, WHAT?!”
>You turn to run, but before you could make a single step you’re lifted into the air by a familiar purple aura.
>”Oh no, we are NOT doing this again!” the purple unicorn yells at you, “Sweet Celestia, would you please calm down?!”

>Suspended like that, you’ve little choice but to comply. You slump and twist around to face the ponies.
>”S-sorry” you say. “It’s all just a bit overwhelming. I’ve never met talking ponies before”
>You give a few furtive looks towards the door you just came out of. “Your princess can be scary when she wants to, can’t she?”
>The purple one giggles. Bloody hell these things are adorable. ”Yes, she can be. Don’t worry, she won’t hurt you if you don’t cause trouble”
>”Yes, well, forgive me if I’m not filled with confidence”
>You catch a look at her flank. It’s marked with a large magenta star, ringed by five smaller white stars. ‘Huh. I wonder...’
>”You wouldn’t happen to be Twilight Sparkle, would you? The princess asked me t-”
>”Yes, I know” she cuts you off flatly. “And yes, I am”.
>That simplified things. Although she didn’t seem too happy about the arrangement. You couldn’t blame her, really.
>”I’m sorry about this?” you offer.
>”What? No, it’s fine!” She gives you a wide, keen grin with even wider eyes. “I have so many questions! I’ve never had the chance to study a new sentient species before!”
>Suddenly she seemed more creepy than cute.
>”Um, maybe tomorrow though? I’m feeling a little out of it right now.” you say
>Understatement of the fucking century, right there. You’re amazed you haven’t lost a limb yet.
>Twilight’s grin drops, and is disappeared by mild embarrassment. “Yes, of course.”