Hey man, I'm not sure if you're around or not but there's some stuff we got to talk about.

You're the only person I feel it's really worth doing this with, and actually trying to figure out what's going on.

I look back on our past (almost every day now) and we had some great times, even the bad times we can laugh off with ease.

Then things changed, we started seeing each other less... and I really put that down to our own issues and illnesses really dragging us away from people as a whole.

But recently, I've obviously been thinking and I'm really not sure about how you feel about me now. I can't figure out why you could travel very far to see one friend... but then not give a simple "hello" to the other. Maybe I was suppose to pick up on these hints of being a bit less wanted now...

...and let me make this VERY clear, if you did think that way I'd fully understand and want you to be honest. I know I'm a changed wreck of a man now, not even I like myself so I can't expect anyone else too...

Also, it's not even that the friend is "Amy", I'm not asking you to choose "one or the other" like some abusive girlfriend... because I mean what I said back on that day, I'm truly happy that you got what you wanted out of that day...

The only part I feel don't make sense is how you could go out that far to see anyone but not put the effort into picking up your phone and wanting to talk to me at all... but again, I could see why you wouldn't, it's just finding out if that's the case.

I think one of the biggest problems I have is being a part of your life, every day, for YEARS... and then slowly moving out of that routine... but then into a routine where a week can go by and you don't want to message me, or if you do it's for one thing or another.

Don't get me wrong ether, I know this is my issue here. It's me not knowing how to deal with a situation a monkey could likely handle. But that's why I need you help... to just tell me what's going on so I understand.

If it's that you want to fully move on but you're doing it gradually, I'm prepared, I can start to cope with that. Or if it's that you want me to be a "sometimes" friend and want me to just be around occasionally, I could learn to do that too...

Or maybe it's just some kind of big misunderstanding, and I'm bundling you in with other people who don't seem to care about me, but I'm too dumb to figure out what it is...

I've been making myself ill over thinking this... even now when I thought I could escape it all I continue to be ill and over thinking constantly, and piling on other issues...

But I digress, you're one of the few people in life I know I care for, and for that matter I know I just got to find out where I stand with you.