short shitty cook greentext

>Be chef cook of her royal highness
>You get send to another county to honor a coronation with your best skills.
>Halfway across the country your small caravan gets plundered by oni's
>Everyone gets tied up and brought back to the cave community.
>they start preparing the high class meat they found in your personal stash
>Omg they are not using any spices.
>How fucking old is that spit
>Are they not gonna wash and dry the meat ?
>That fire will burn the outside while the inside is still red
>unable to stand this atrocity any longer You get up with your arms still tied and begin yelling at your guard with a mighty voice.
>The bemused oni has no idea what you're saying.
>Thinking it would be fun she slices your ropes with her weapon.
>within seconds you sprint towards the spit yelling at the top of your lungs, the air trembles by your vocal cords
>The oni's never witnessed this behavior before and scratch there heads.
>You grab some emergency spices in your pockets and begin to season the giant piece of meat before you.
>before the oni's can stop you the biggest one of them all calls them to heel
>You completely lose all sense of time as you begin your work.
>2 oni's keep a watchful eye but let you do as you please.
>you retrieve more spices and make small incisions to permeate the meat just right.
>You create the perfect temperature for a slow grill and even get one of the oni's to turn the spit softly after shaking the cave with one of your outbursts.
>You ignore the desecration that happens around you and just focus on finishing your masterpiece.
>Every so often an Oni tries to take a piece of the delicious smelling meat.
>You hit their hand firmly with your spatula and use your immense lung capacity to send them away teary eyed.

>Almost at the end of the feast you can see the big oni striding towards you.
>Her patience running thin she gestures you for a slice.
>You are about to make the biggest mistake of your life when you can feel it, the meat is done perfectly.
>You shush the Oni into silence and give the meat one final basting.
>You sign to your oni guards to slowly lower the meat into your improvised kitchen.
>You slice the soft meat in a perfect portion onto a plate and add some final herbs.
>You offer your Magnum opus to the giant oni and wait.
>Even after the festivities the oni cant help but drool at the tiny piece of meat in front of her.
>in one bite she takes the whole meal into her mouth.
>Her face contorts into a full our aheago and she drops on her knees.
>You serve the oncoming storm of oni's each one plate.
>After they all pass out from pure bliss you gather your crew and leave the cave.
>Rumor spreads fast and its not long before you have to constantly be on the run from a particular oni tribe hunting you down.