Relax one-shot

>Day Relax in Equestria
>Be Anon, Educated comedian
>Wake up, do the usual morning routine
>AKA High Flying 3`s
>Go downstairs to get some cereal
>Stairs are a bitch, of course they would be in your 4 floors house
>Yeah you are so educated with ladies and funny with the others that Celestia gave you a shittastic gigantunormous house
>Reader:"How can you be educated when you just said "Shit"?"
>Fuck you this is not me talking it`s my mind.
>Where were we..? Oh, right, the cereal.
>After going down you pour yourself some Pinkos with Vodka
>Yeah it`s 7 AM but whatever, you are alone and you fucking love Vodka
>30 minutes later you are on the floor lazily blinking like the lazy pig you are when you hear a knock on the door
>Oh boy here we go...
>You get up, and drag your sorry lazy ass to open the door to find [spoiler]Slasher[/spoiler]
>Just kidding, It´s Fluttershy [spoiler]but she is also suspected to be Slasher, who knows.[/spoiler]
>F:"em... N-Noel?
>Your thoughts are interrumped by the she-devil calling you by your surname
>Nothing to do with your real name, but goddamn it´s so cool something freezes when that name is mentioned around you.
Hey Flutters, hold on a sec would you?
>F:"What ´s goi-MMMPHPHP" You put your hand in her mouth
>She starts licking your hand but you don´t care, you just wait for that glorious sound.
>T:"ANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs
>In a flash Twilight appears in front of you with an angry look
>T:"Anon damn you and your cursed surname! I was ... investigating when the utensil I was using frooze in..er...just brooze!"
That´s gotta be quite an investigation Twilismo, because that "utensil" as you call it, is frozen right into your ass.
>She turns around and even FLuttershy sees it, a huge ice-cold dildo is stucked on Twilight´s ass
That gives you quite the shivers right Twi?
>[Laugh internally]
>And Externally
>Fluttershy joins you when she sees Twilight´s face.
>Twilight blushes so hard that her body temperature goes up and the dildo becomes pure liquid.
>T:Oh you think you are funny Anon? Well lets see how you laugh after THIS!
>She charges her horn
Oh oh...
>That´s never something good.
>A bright light blinds you and when it stops, there is a weird pony infront of you
>His face is just inches from yours and he just stares at you
Erm... Twilight who is this?
>T:"This is my newest spell! His job is to deal with comedians using grotesque comedy when summoned. I try not to use him outdoors because the last time he was banned from the central plaza for using bad language. I call him, Gilbert Gottfried."
Hah, what a name Twilismo, where did you get it, from the local astronomist?
>G:"is that a lame try of comedy what I just heard?
Yeah, what about it? I´ve been called the human version of Guillermo Franpony
>G:"Who the hell is that? Another piece of shitty ass shit shitted like you?"
>How dare he not know Guillermo Franpony!
HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW GUILLERMO FRANPONY!
>G:"Hey joker, I have a joke for you. How do you call a comedian inside another comedian?"
Enlighten me kind sir.
>He then tackles you into the ground and takes off your pants in a blink while he gets a huge hard on
>G:"An Insertion..." He says with a creepy voice
WAIT WAIT! BUT YOU CAN`T DO THIS.... YOU NEED ANOTHER COMEDIAN FOR THIS!
>G:"I`am a comedian...."
>And so you spent the rest of the day being >raped in front of
>Disgracious Fluttershy and Twilismo