monsterfuckers

[7:00 AM] Thevampinator: Sorry well this is the depraved channel why not link some random video.
[7:00 AM] Thevampinator: Well random festish video,
[7:01 AM] Abby//Celsus: you come to the realm of monster fuckers with thiiiiis?
[7:04 AM] dodo.tgz: i wonder if there are IC monsterfuckers
[7:04 AM] dodo.tgz: like Josef Linkletter
[7:05 AM] Thevampinator: Well vampires are considered monsters.
[7:05 AM] Thevampinator: So do they count?
[7:05 AM] MochaKimono: vampires are barely monsters in most contexts
[7:05 AM] dodo.tgz: they're the vanilla of the monsterfucking world
[7:06 AM] MochaKimono: they're just extra-sharp humans
[7:06 AM] MochaKimono: except for nosferatu and gangrel in VtM
[7:06 AM] dodo.tgz: compare to people like
[7:06 AM] dodo.tgz: getting it on with Sean
[7:06 AM] MochaKimono: getting it on with Sean's grimoire
[7:07 AM] dodo.tgz: Under  True Sight, Sean's grimoire made Burmy wince
[7:08 AM] dodo.tgz: and IIRC
[7:08 AM] dodo.tgz: Sean himself looks like he's melting
[8:08 AM] Thevampinator: So what kinda of monster would you guys fuck?
[8:08 AM] Thevampinator: Well sexual relations I should say.
[8:08 AM] Thevampinator: In d&d lore.
[8:09 AM] MochaKimono: which one wouldn't we
[8:10 AM] Thevampinator: lol
[8:10 AM] Thevampinator: Would you ever do it with a bugbear?
[8:11 AM] MochaKimono: a lady bugbear maybe
[8:11 AM] dodo.tgz: ehehehe think of the musk
[8:11 AM] dodo.tgz: bugbears aren't known for their great hygiene
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: That said
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: Napoleon Bonaparte would probably sleep with a bugbear
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: see
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: there's uh, stories
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: how when he was about to return from campaign
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: he sent missives to his wife among other things
[8:12 AM] dodo.tgz: not to bathe anymore
[8:13 AM] dodo.tgz: Shorty liked musk
[8:13 AM] MochaKimono: lol
[8:14 AM] MochaKimono: also, lbh, rakshasa can get it. yeah you'll be a furry for it. but those pompous bastards are loaded
[8:15 AM] MochaKimono: earn their favor and you've got yourself a sugar daddy
[8:15 AM] dodo.tgz: hahahahah
[8:15 AM] MochaKimono: with some very interesting hands
[8:15 AM] dodo.tgz: Also it's something of a
[8:15 AM] dodo.tgz: role reversal
[8:15 AM] dodo.tgz: like usually you provide for a cat
[8:15 AM] dodo.tgz: not the opposite
[8:16 AM] MochaKimono: No no, beholders are no good. Canonically they use their massive brain power to sulk in their lairs and foresee combat scenarios to prepare for. They're also intensely paranoid and assume the worst intentions of every other being, whom they also consider inferior.
[8:16 AM] dodo.tgz: what about
[8:16 AM] Thevampinator: THey could be a spector beholder.
[8:16 AM] dodo.tgz: gibbering mouthers
[8:16 AM] MochaKimono: So you'll literally have an S.O. who imagines nonexistent arguments with you and gets themselves all pissed off about it and explodes the moment you get home from work
[8:16 AM] dodo.tgz: So..
[8:17 AM] dodo.tgz: it's like dating me except the beholder isn't as ugly
[8:17 AM] MochaKimono: XD
[8:17 AM] MochaKimono: a gibbering mouther is how a lot of people can have a wild time at once
[8:18 AM] MochaKimono: with the addition of a built-in voyeurism fetish
[8:18 AM] dodo.tgz: inb4
[8:18 AM] dodo.tgz: bondage fetish and ropers
[8:18 AM] MochaKimono: now you're talking
[8:18 AM] dodo.tgz: A roper with a muzzle
[8:19 AM] dodo.tgz: so that it doesn't eat you
[8:19 AM] Thevampinator: PZO1112-Medusa.png
[8:19 AM] MochaKimono: a ball gag
[8:19 AM] MochaKimono: medusas are too tame
[8:19 AM] dodo.tgz: yochlol :stuck_out_tongue:
[8:20 AM] Abby//Celsus: Sent me straight to the hells and get me a real incubus
[8:20 AM] MochaKimono: yuan-ti abomination
[8:20 AM] Abby//Celsus: Youre getting into scaley territory there
[8:20 AM] dodo.tgz: why not go straight for the abishai
[8:20 AM] MochaKimono: we can go deeper
[8:21 AM] MochaKimono: Yuan-ti_anathema-5e.jpg
[8:21 AM] dodo.tgz: all the class of rakshasa
[8:21 AM] MochaKimono: yuan-ti anathema
[8:21 AM] dodo.tgz: less fur on your bed
[8:21 AM] MochaKimono: hahaha
[8:21 AM] MochaKimono: Now I'm picturing a sphinx cat rakshasa
[8:21 AM] dodo.tgz: snrrrk
[8:21 AM] dodo.tgz: the problem with rakshasa
[8:22 AM] dodo.tgz: is cat dicks
[8:22 AM] MochaKimono: ow, true
[8:22 AM] dodo.tgz: someone google a picture, I  is at work
[8:22 AM] MochaKimono: I'm too scared to lmao
[8:22 AM] dodo.tgz: plus claws
[8:22 AM] dodo.tgz: plus raspy tongues
[8:22 AM] dodo.tgz: no wonder rakshasa are sexually frustrated
[8:23 AM] MochaKimono: Who doesn't love a good sandpaperjob
[8:23 AM] MochaKimono: You know what only the bravest souls go for though? Modrons
[8:23 AM] dodo.tgz: hahahahahaha
[8:24 AM] dodo.tgz: or inevitables for that matter
[8:24 AM] MochaKimono: Inevitables at least kind of look cool
[8:24 AM] dodo.tgz: lesser known inevitable
[8:24 AM] MochaKimono: modrons are just so eurgh
[8:24 AM] dodo.tgz: that provides orgasms to those with terrible partners
[8:24 AM] dodo.tgz: as an universal imperative
[8:24 AM] dodo.tgz: "people who have sex should enjoy it at least sometimes"
[8:25 AM] MochaKimono: This is basically the plot of the webcomic Chester 5000 XYV
[8:25 AM] Thevampinator: What about a Cecaelia?
[8:25 AM] dodo.tgz: what is?
[8:25 AM] Thevampinator: it has tentacles and is basically a mermaid with octopus tentacles instead of a fishtail
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: well
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: you know what's amidst an octopus's tentacles?
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: A beak
[8:26 AM] Thevampinator: Its what they call the last photo I linked.
[8:26 AM] MochaKimono: seven vaganias
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: nah
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: it's the mouth
[8:26 AM] dodo.tgz: and it will go crunch crunch crunch
[8:31 AM] Thevampinator: Oh what about a Sea hag?
[8:33 AM] MochaKimono: Boning a hag is how you get several stds you didn't even know existed
[8:33 AM] MochaKimono: if you think a bugbear has musk
[8:33 AM] Thevampinator: Maybe they are still virgins?
[8:33 AM] Thevampinator: And need the company.
[8:34 AM] MochaKimono: incel hags lmao
[8:35 AM] MochaKimono: but they are FILTHY, hags wear intestine necklaces and shampoo with bile and other nasty crap like that. letting a hag anywhere near your orifices is just a guaranteed UTI
[8:35 AM] MochaKimono: oh yeah, the Lady of Pain is pretty awesome looking
[8:35 AM] Thevampinator: What if they smell of just herbs.
[8:35 AM] Thevampinator: And bath daily?
[8:35 AM] MochaKimono: then she's not hagging correctly
[8:36 AM] dodo.tgz: haahah
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: outcast hag
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: she can't get the stench going
[8:37 AM] Thrymskvitha: I mean, hags are powerful spellcasters. They can shapeshift into something less likely to give you an STD. Chances are they wouldn't even try, though.
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: also uh
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: taking someone named Lady of Pain to bed
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: sounds like the beginning of a baad time
[8:37 AM] dodo.tgz: might as well go bed a kyton
[8:38 AM] MochaKimono: hags are bitches 4 lyfe, they'd never clean up for a date unless it was part of a deal. she's way more likely to disguise herself as a babe, drop the disguise as soon as you drop your pants, and compel you to sleep with her anyway
[8:38 AM] MochaKimono: although
[8:38 AM] MochaKimono: the existence of hagspawn
[8:38 AM] MochaKimono: means canonically some people fuck hags
[8:39 AM] Thrymskvitha: Cons: You're likely to end up dead if you ever touch her shadow.
Pros: Free circumcision.
[8:40 AM] Thrymskvitha: Also, courtship would be awkward, since you'd have to deal with her through the Dabus and their rebuses.
[8:41 AM] MochaKimono: free circumcision? free hysterectomy
[8:41 AM] Thrymskvitha: That, too!
[8:42 AM] Thrymskvitha: Or, well, even free vivisection. It's the Lady of Pain after all.
[2:55 PM] 14 Gays In A Trenchcoat: i can't believe i missed a whole discussion of which monster would you fuck
[3:02 PM] Space Ork™: S a m e
[3:02 PM] Space Ork™: I feel asleep at the worst time
[3:03 PM] 14 Gays In A Trenchcoat: all the fun things happen when im sleeping