title: plus size bra
genre: cyberpunk
author: arnold f. octopus
year: 2016

1. the status quo. zzzzz.
the cold boot. once upon a time, there was a hacker in noir york. every day he scanned ports all over the city for anything interesting, but has come up with dick. he is bored, and frustrated in his job where his boss throws tantrums and uses coke, his coworkers laugh at him. his last sex experience was fooling around when he was 16. clouds encroach on the city, and he has a vitamin d deficiency.
2. the dissolution.
his boss was in a rare mood one day, so the hacker leaked info about his boss's drug use on the intranet, with pictures and audio. the boss became a laughing stock and was fired. the hacker felt smug until the boss showed up at his apartment with goons. the hacker was never good in a fight, but he needed his deck (computer) to continue hacking.
3. the struggle.
what could the hacker do? sneak in? his apartment is small. he has few possessions, and nowhere to hide. he regrets putting off rigging his apartment to explode. he stood outside his building in the rain. his best friend, his soulmate was in there and he had to get her out. the police? this is noir york!
4. the insurmountable.
bertha, his deck, gets thrown out of his apartment. it crashes on the ground in a heap. the hacker falls to his knees and cries. bertha, no! he picks up the csmos chip as a souvenir and sulks off into the night. he visits a hacker dive in grief. there, women gyrate, weirdos grunt and play five-finger-fillet, and the bartender's boobs spill on the counter as she leans over. "what's wrong, baby?" the hacker stares a thousand yards into the csmos chip. "it's all i have left." the bartender lifts her boobs off the counter and leans on her palms. "sucks to lose someone you love. i have a spare." the hacker drags his ass to her backroom. "this thing? it's old." "well," she says, "it's better than nothing. i'll let you two get acquainted. i have to get back to work so i can afford to buy a bra that fits. bye."
5. the change.
the hacker solders the chip into the deck. bertha prints: "hello, hacker." the hacker is ecstatic. "your bank account is at zero, and the assholes at your apartment don't even like your comic books." okay, but you're alive, right? "no, i pre-recorded this message. get them for me. promise me." i promise. the hacker scans ports around noir york. hellooo. he overhears coke dealers talking about selling goods to the police. the hacker does what any good citizen would do: calls 911.

"911."
"yeah, man, there are these guys selling coke at..." he gives his apartment address.
"thanks for the tip. we'll send a unit."

officers roscoe and money show up at the apartment. knock, knock. "open up. police." oh shit! the boss opens the door. "the fuck do you want?" roscoe delivers a right cross. money whistles. "nice one." the cops demand to know where the drugs are. the goons look at each other. "holding out on us, eh?" a brawl ensues. the cops kill everyone. roscoe talks into his communicator: "yeah, they were resisting arrest. returning home."
6. reflections
the hacker sees a news report about a bloodbath in his apartment. hooray! he takes the computer home, cleans up the blood, tidies his comic books, and realizes: "i'm still employed!" he shows up to work, clocks in, and types away. his new boss appears. "someone bought us out. we're a different business now." "oh yeah, what do we do?" "we manufacture plus size bras. can you scan the city's ports to find someone who has shitloads of fabric?" "sure can."