Adventures of Dantgil in #Dickmegle - Part 9

-*- Jaspersprite He probably wouldn't be able to look at Dante or Vergil the same way ever again. Hell, Jaspers wasn't sure if he wanted to /see/ those two anymore. He just wanted to-- to go up and see Carley, maybe. Or Alpha. Carley or Alpha or Roxy or just /anybody/ that he could lean on, that he was sure wouldn't hurt him.
-*- KnightStrider THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME AS SOMEONE YOU CAN RELY ON JASPS
-*- KnightStrider I LOVE YOU TOO.
-*- Jaspersprite YOU'R EWELCOME YELLY MCSHOUTLIAR
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe no one can rely on you. you'd just at rap at 'em n pretend that's first aid or somethin'
-*- abstersiveTournitro you know who Rabbit reminds me a little bit of
-*- abstersiveTournitro Don Knotts
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe broken knee? oh shit let me throw a few sick rhymes at ya
-*- abstersiveTournitro or rather, the character types he played
-*- KnightStrider :I Dude, dude, dude, wrong.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe tchs pchkuck tchs pchkuck hey you feelin' better yet
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe no?
-*- KnightStrider I'd bake them a fucking scone and give them that instead, because food heals all wounds.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh shit better throw in a few /hi/ /hats/
-*- KnightStrider obviously.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe then you'd throw a scone at 'em
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe yeah you're real trustworthy alright
-*- KnightStrider and what the fuck are you ragging on me for anyway? all i did was walk in the room jeeze.
-*- Rabbit how tall is dave anyways
<KnightStrider> you sure man? cus i can listen if you need someone
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe 'cause i've officially checked out harder than dunsten n' his dumb chimp combined
-*- KnightStrider five eight.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n' i need /some/ kind of entertainment so i don't die of /boredom/ or somethin'
-*- KnightStrider so entertainment for you is being mean and stomping all over my precious feelings? harsh man
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh, so sorry. i had no idea you were so fragile like a beautiful lil' daisy.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe well then, daisy doo, don't y'worry, i'll be takin' good care of you.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe may i take your hat, miss?
-*- KnightStrider dude you have no idea i mean have you SEEN me watch the notebook its like the fucking nile river every damn time.
-*- KnightStrider and dont even get me started on tuck ever lasting
-*- KnightStrider or the fox and the hound
-*- KnightStrider tears
-*- KnightStrider every damn time
-*- KnightStrider and no you may not take my hat its my fucking hat and you cant have it
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...the what now? christ, i don't even recognize half of these flicks. what's with you n' all these obscure garbage shit?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i don't even /want/ yer hat dude, it's probably got like
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe the shaggs sewed into it.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe with some gary goddamn glitter to taste.
-*- KnightStrider dont lie you would fucking kill for a hat this stylish.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh yeah, i'd kill alright. kill myself, maybe.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what kind of self respectin' audiophille wears the shaggs?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe that's like wearin' a rainbow vest to a rodeo.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe or a
-*- KnightStrider http://www.thatsonyourteam.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/crazy-hat-lady.jpg thats his hat.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe yankee's hat
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe at a
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe uh
-*- KnightStrider wears it with fucking pride.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe red party
-*- KnightStrider red socks.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe whatever, i knew that.
-*- KnightStrider man you are such a liar.
-*- Jaspersprite u r not 1 2 talk
-*- KnightStrider i know you want this hat.
-*- KnightStrider dude what have I lied about?
-*- Jaspersprite mr 'i gotta swear all the time yo'
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe like yer any better.
-*- KnightStrider i do.
-*- KnightStrider i fucking do.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe 'cause we know how much of a big ol' sports fan /you/ are, right?
-*- Jaspersprite and then you yellED AND--
-*- KnightStrider dude you know i love those sports, infact i wear this hat to every sports outing i get the chance to go to
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh yeah?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what kind of sports?
-*- KnightStrider curling.
-*- Rabbit water
-*- KnightStrider :I No.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh, y'mean /ice/ /canes/?
-*- Rabbit hehe
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe y'don't even know what curlin' /is/.
-*- KnightStrider seriously? it's not even a cane its a brush
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ICE BRUSHES.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe /GREAT/
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe y'know that much.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe gold fuckin' star fer you.
-*- KnightStrider if you know so much about it why the fuck did you say ice canes?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe when did i ever say that? like i care 'bout anythin' that comes from good ol' /canadia/
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe 'cept maybe
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe syrup
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe but whatever who cares about that
<KnightStrider> they also have milk... in bags
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe see dude, that's why i don't listen to anythin' a /canadian/'/s/ got t'say.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe the hell do they know?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe they put milk in /bags/.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe can't even pour it
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe spills out /everywhere/.
-*- KnightStrider hey now
-*- KnightStrider canadians have one thing down pat
-*- KnightStrider being second best to america
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe no dude, that's /australia/.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ain't nobody better at bein' second best than australia.
-*- KnightStrider true but austrailia is more second best when it comes to like britian and shit though everyone really loses out when the us is involved
-*- KnightStrider because lets fucking face it how could a country that created the kfc double down not be the best fucking thing ever?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe any country that makes xtra /xtra/ large soda bottles is a-okay in my books.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe shit i don't need these teeth
-*- KnightStrider who the fuck does?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n' y'know what
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe not havin' diabetes is downright /unamerican/
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe wilford brimley told me so.
-*- KnightStrider god bless him
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe 'scuse me
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe diabeetus
-*- KnightStrider oops
-*- KnightStrider you know what we should bring back though? wonder balls those things were the shit
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh shit wONDER BALLS--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe they stopped makin' those?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe aw man, the future /sucks/.
-*- KnightStrider yeah
-*- KnightStrider i know
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe why'd they stop makin' those? those were /prefect/.
-*- KnightStrider i know but now everyone is all obsessed over whats basically the european knock off the kinder egg which doesnt even have extra candy in it it just has a toy which is great but why the fuck would you not want more candy?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe maaaaan, i remember when i finally got simba from one of those dumb things.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i kept that thing beside my dresser for weeks--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i dunno where it went tho--
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe aw shit.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe party's over.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe everyone go home.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe sorry dj dude, you gotta go. sorry you didn't, like, get paid or anythin'.
-*- abstersiveTournitro You're talking aimlessly with Strider. What party?
-*- KnightStrider we are talking about very important shoit here.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe my bro's just a sperglord like that.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe see? he's doin' it right now.
-*- KnightStrider god damnit sperglord
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe shit just /flies/ over his head.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ffffffffwew
-*- abstersiveTournitro Yes, because the whereabouts of some toy are so important.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh, like /you/ have anythin' better t'say.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe you don't even /like/ candy.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe 'cause yer /weird/.
-*- KnightStrider i bet he likes canada too
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe who doesn't like candy?
-*- abstersiveTournitro We were practically born in Canada.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hey, /hey/.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe maine is /not/ canada.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe we got
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe lobsters
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe stephen king
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe two very important things canada don't got
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i mean
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe that's about it but
-*- KnightStrider thats way better than what canada has
-*- abstersiveTournitro We weren't born anywhere near either of those things.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Though I would have loved to meet Stephen King.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe whatever man, the langoliers were /stupid/ as all hell.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe seriously, /time/ pacmen.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe the fuck thinks up somethin' like that.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i'm done with 'im. 'im n' his stupid
-*- KnightStrider i mean fuck who needs free health care?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe tim curry clowns.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it.
-*- abstersiveTournitro At least a little.
-*- KnightStrider yeah, I can feel the love. Sure, my attempt to save you doesn't count, I appreciate it.
-*- Jaspersprite You mean grabbing Brenda's hair and trying to drag her away while she stabbed you repeatedly and Rabbit flew away w/ me
-*- Jaspersprite thnx
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe no i didn't enjoy it, vergil. that was the dumbest payoff i've ever read in my life, n' i've every single goosebumps book t'date.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what's so good about time pacmen that pop out of space vaginas?
-*- abstersiveTournitro The fact that you can hold such interesting conversations about it afterward.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe y'know what else isn't great? endin's with no fuckin' resolution 'cause hey--
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...Why were you reading /Goosebumps/?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i guess we're gonna all just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe go back in time now!
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n' everythin' is just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe great
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe we're gonna make it after all
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe somebody throws a hat or whatever
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe uh
-*- KnightStrider you read goosebumps?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...the cover said reader beware you're in fer a scare okay
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe it was promsin' some good things, alright?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe how i was supposed t'know those good things were actually
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe dog people
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n'
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe evil silly putty
-*- KnightStrider damn lying books
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i think one cover had a shark but
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe nope, no sharks.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Yes, because clearly children's horror novels /follow/ /through/ on such promises.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe just mermaids.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i was seven.
-*- abstersiveTournitro To date.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...they're funny, okay? like lifetime movie of the week funny.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe y'wouldn't understand it 'cause
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe you've got anti irony rays or some shit
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i dunno
-*- KnightStrider im surprised i can stand next to the guy without disintegrating or some shit with all his harsh anty irony rays
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i think i've grown immune to it or somethin'. only way t'explain it.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe dude didn't even find shaq fu funny.
-*- KnightStrider makes sense.
-*- KnightStrider what
-*- KnightStrider a
-*- KnightStrider crime
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe do y'know how long it took to find that thing?
-*- KnightStrider i am very dissapoint vergil very dissapoint
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i spent days creepin' through thrift stores lookin' for it. toilin' all my blood, sweat, n' tears through those killer deals.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe n' y'didn't even laugh once.
-*- KnightStrider rude man just rude
-*- KnightStrider did you even try?
-*- KnightStrider and Dave is busy doing Dave things aka just sort of standing there like a tool.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe he never tries. there ain't a funny bone in his entire body.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe c'mon, look at 'im.
-*- KnightStrider man what a shame i bet he didnt even tell you that i got him to rap before
-*- abstersiveTournitro :|
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe look at 'im.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...wh-wHAT?
-*- abstersiveTournitro I thought I made you swear never to mention that, Strider.
-*- KnightStrider yep
-*- KnightStrider oops
-*- KnightStrider forgot that
-*- abstersiveTournitro >:|
-*- Jaspersprite /liar/
-*- Jaspersprite  38<
-*- KnightStrider dude i seriously forgot geeze
-*- abstersiveTournitro >:[
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hahahaha mARVELIN' MOSESES ON MT. SINAI--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe this-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe snrk
-*- abstersiveTournitro Shut up.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe this i g-gotta see!
-*- abstersiveTournitro You'd better be glad I did.
-*- abstersiveTournitro For /your/ sake.
-*- KnightStrider yep he rapped all the way to find your room
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ahahahaha shit, i-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i'm dyin' here!
-*- abstersiveTournitro Strider.
-*- abstersiveTournitro You're a douche.
-*- Jaspersprite ikr
-*- Jaspersprite he yelled @ me 2 and is mean
-*- KnightStrider jaspers please i apogized for the yelling i brought you pizza.
-*- KnightStrider why do you still hate me?
-*- abstersiveTournitro [shh jaspurrs uncle gerbil will bring you milk]
-*- Jaspersprite thank
-*- Jaspersprite ...
-*- Jaspersprite Which cow is it from
-*- Jaspersprite wHICH COW--
-*- abstersiveTournitro [the one in the reFRIGERATOR]
-*- abstersiveTournitro [that's how there's always milk in the cartons]
-*- abstersiveTournitro [the cows on the cartons make it]
<Jaspersprite> [[Has Maybelle migrated to the refridgerator]]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe unka gerbil i want one toooooo
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe oh uh--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe uhhhhhh
-*- KnightStrider hey rapping is nothing to be ashamed about you werent even bad
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe uh
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hey
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe jasps
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what's
-*- Jaspersprite unka gerbil wtf did you dO DAD
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what's goin' on
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe [yOU WERE A VERY CUTE BABY OKAY]
-*- Jaspersprite oh you know
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe [ACCEPT IT]
-*- Jaspersprite being afraid
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hahaha, y-yeah.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe uh
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe about that.
-*- abstersiveTournitro (cough)
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe can we just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe not
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe talk 'bout that.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i'd be okay with that.
<abstersiveTournitro> [we should probably move this out of /me if we're]
<abstersiveTournitro> [actually doing things]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [pffffff]
<abstersiveTournitro> [b/c confusing]
<abstersiveTournitro> [and]
-*- Jaspersprite I know
-*- Jaspersprite Im sorry
-*- Jaspersprite and yes fff I should]]
-*- Jaspersprite go to the shower anyway]]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [nah man]
<abstersiveTournitro> [/kick Jaspersprite bEGONE]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [i want dumb hipster scholar babby bantering all night long]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [BLAST]
-*- Jaspersprite r00d]]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [uh]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [shit what was the other thing he said]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [oh yeah]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [that's right]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [DIE]
-*- Jaspersprite sNIFFLE,,,,,,
<KnightStrider> so yeah anyway
<KnightStrider> just gonna
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe just because i'm a super sucker for continuity
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe does this take place weeks after the
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe thing
-*- KnightStrider yes?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe because i'd be okay with that
-*- abstersiveTournitro I don't know,,,,,,,
-*- abstersiveTournitro this was such a confusing transition
-*- Jaspersprite w8 are we
-*- KnightStrider yes yes it does. :I
-*- abstersiveTournitro overlapping RPs what the hell
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe dante would probably be mostly comatose for the first few days at best
-*- Jaspersprite actually doing a thing and-- oh
-*- abstersiveTournitro Vergil casually devil trigger,,,
-*- abstersiveTournitro I don't know though
-*- abstersiveTournitro it's 3 in the morning
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what is even going on
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i just
-*- abstersiveTournitro omf I don't kNOW
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe wanted to have awesomely casual talks about nothing in particular
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe can we keep doing that
-*- KnightStrider yes
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe because that was /gr8/
-*- KnightStrider though I should prooobably sleep because classes tomorrow buuuuuut don't wanna.
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-*- abstersiveTournitro I am not appointing a time for it then really? because it would be nice to be able to go back later and actually see what happened with that
-*- abstersiveTournitro though I am probably the only one here with the patience for and express interest in lengthy detailed recoveries
-*- abstersiveTournitro b/c I'm a terrible dork
-*- KnightStrider this could happen beeeefore?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe what no
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe i am totally okay with lengthy recoveries
-*- abstersiveTournitro but like, actually RPing them or writing them
-*- abstersiveTournitro I despise time skips passionately because there's too much potential lost, personally
-*- abstersiveTournitro but Idk, just random aimless babbling doesn't need to be given a time unless something is discussed that forces it to take place at a particular point in time relative to something else
-*- abstersiveTournitro so just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe BABBLE
-*- abstersiveTournitro carry on discussing stupid stuff while I log 8y
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe wE'RE ON A COUCH
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe CYBER SEDUCTION: HIS SECRET SEDUCTION IS ON
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe or
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe SOME OTHER DUMB THING LIKE THAT
-*- KnightStrider ho damn
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe and someone is just
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe laughing away
<cocksureGuttersnipe> hahahaha oh my god
<cocksureGuttersnipe> y'think y'can make 'im do it again?
<KnightStrider> i dunno man he might be too pissed at me for sharing that little secret to do it again
<cocksureGuttersnipe> 'cause i gotta hear these fineass lyrics of his
<cocksureGuttersnipe> awww dude
<cocksureGuttersnipe> you don't gotta be so shy
<KnightStrider> they were pretty choice lyrics too
<cocksureGuttersnipe> just cause you know yer lil' bro could whoop your behind any day when it comes rhythm
<KnightStrider> urgh I actually should go because, stomach is starting to hurt and that is never a good sign...
<cocksureGuttersnipe> i'm sure mc vergasaurus x will be a smash hit
<cocksureGuttersnipe> someday
<cocksureGuttersnipe> in japan
<cocksureGuttersnipe> i hear even knight rider can make it japan
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [ohhhhh noooo]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [you okay bro]
<KnightStrider> (OTL I think I just need to sleep, is what my meds are telling me.)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [awwww]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [sleep it is then]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [v&d will just]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [bicker on without you 8y]
<KnightStrider> (I ASSURE YOU WE WILL PICK THIS UP SOME OTHER TIME!)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [RANDOM BABBLE]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [this is basically what dante and dave spend all their time doing]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [watching bad movies]
<KnightStrider> (Yes, and it's the best thing ever.)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [playing bad video games]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [listening to godawful music]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [talking about nothing at all]
<KnightStrider> (Best, buds.)
<KnightStrider> (Niiiight!)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [bffs]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [niiiiiight!]
<Jaspersprite> [[Night uwu]]
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<cocksureGuttersnipe> [and omg seriously is no one gonna comment on mc vergasaurus x]
<cocksureGuttersnipe> [nITRO GET BACK HERE]
<Jaspersprite> [[I would but shower,,,,,]]
<Jaspersprite> [[(I might)]]
<Jaspersprite> [[(Drop in if things are still going l8r tho)]]
<abstersiveTournitro> ...McVergasaurus X.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> ugh, no.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> yer sayin' it wrong.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> it's mc vergasaurus x.
<abstersiveTournitro> That sounds incredibly stupid.
<abstersiveTournitro> It might just be you, though.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> that's cause y'don't have any taste
<cocksureGuttersnipe> but why should i be surprised? i don't think y'even listen t'music.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> like.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> ever.
<abstersiveTournitro> Not /that/ kind of music, no.
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<chthonianGunslinger> [adjshgjsg]
<abstersiveTournitro> [u ok CG's computer]
<chthonianGunslinger> hey man, it ain't my cup of tea either
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<chthonianGunslinger> but i don't write it off complete n' total garbage
<chthonianGunslinger> y'know what that's called?
<chthonianGunslinger> racism.
<-> chthonianGunslinger is now known as cocksureGuttersnipe
<abstersiveTournitro> That has nothing to /do/ with racism. And it's hardly a matter of it being garbage.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> yeah right, sure it ain't. 'cause i ain't heard nothin' but glowin' praise from you 'bout it.
<abstersiveTournitro> Even if it may have some redeemable aspect somewhere, do not expect too much.
<abstersiveTournitro> (...I certainly didn't do it because I /wanted/ to.)
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Ugh, this movie was getting boring. Not even the funny kind of boring, like Manos, just dull boring. Flick. Flick. There had to be some other equally stupid movie he could dig up here. Fuh-lick.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> (...gee, really? n' here i thought y'finally taken your rightful place as the king of all that is fresh and funky.)"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(color me surprised)"
<abstersiveTournitro> "(Alas, my...rise to glory will be a bit delayed. Most likely for all of our deaths.)"
<abstersiveTournitro> "(Then again, I do have eternity to change my mind.)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Flick. C'mon, he's a watched a million of these stupid things. There's gotta be something.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...Snrk.
-*- abstersiveTournitro A Disney movie. A Lifetime drama. Some cartoon he vaguely recognized from his childhood. Sigh.
-*- abstersiveTournitro No new mindless white noise to watch.
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...Was this an infomercial?
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(i'll make sure t'bring my camera when y'do...n y'will, someday. it ain't a matter of might.)"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(accept it, vergasaurus x is your ~destiny~)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Sigh, tell him about it. A million channels full of memories and still nothing good on. He always considered trying to make up a new film himself, but...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...That didn't end too well. That's all he's saying about that.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...The hell was this? An informercial?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He remembered these? Aw man, that was just sad.
<abstersiveTournitro> "(Yes, I'm sure I will, and with a captive audience at that. The ones who aren't molesting the crowd surfers, anyway.)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Why would either of them ever watch a full half-hour infomercial about a power washer in order to remember it now.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "('scuse you, it's not molestin' if the other dude's enjoyin' it. y'gotta think bigger than that.)"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(we're talkin' full scale orgies here.)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He didn't his attention span could last that long. For informercials, at least. Who the hell ever watched a full infomercial?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Answer: same dudes who watched the QVC channel.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe In other words,  no one.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Flick.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe A shoe string budget action movie with a Stallone wannabe. Some news bit about a bombing or whatever. A sit-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...Full House? He watched this?
<abstersiveTournitro> "(My rise to glory will not be an orgy --)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He watched Full House?
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He feels so disappointed in himself.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe And now he's never getting that theme song out of his head.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK EVERYWHERE YOU GO--
<abstersiveTournitro> "(...we're talking about the same kind of rise to glory here, right? The literal kind. Not a euphamism.)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro tHIS SONG
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe THERE'S A HEART
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe OF SOMEBODY THAT NEEDS YOU.
-*- abstersiveTournitro You skipped a line.
-*- abstersiveTournitro A HAND TO HOLD ONTO
<cocksureGuttersnipe> (...heheheh, i'll never tell.)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(don't get yer hopes too high, though.)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Grab.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Flick.
<-> Jaspersprite is now known as MaryKate
-*- MaryKate dID SOMEBODY SAY FULL HOUSE
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(my crystal ball ain't foreseein' anythin' too grand fer ya there.)"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(or-)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro "(God forbid.)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hEY--
<abstersiveTournitro> [oops I /me]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe THAT SHOW WAS HILARIOUS IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Too bad. Now it's Forrest Gump.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Ugh. But he actually likes this film. Genuinely. That's not how movie night is supposed to go.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Dave is gonna be so pissed when he wakes up.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe If he ever wakes up.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Dante gives him a little nudge, just to be sure.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...Nah, still in dreamland. Ghost dreamland. Wherever dead people go when they sleep. Christ.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Screw that. The remote was already clear on the other side of the room, landing on a chair. Good movie night it is.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe And he doesn't give enough damns to go after it,,,
<abstersiveTournitro> "(...why would your crystal ball have any foresight about that matter?)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Fine. Whatever. They'll watch Forrest Gump. This time.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Still gonna.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Cross arms.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Sigh.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe There we go.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Fine, be that way. Don't enjoy yourself. Even though you'll be crying by the end of the movie.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...N-no he won't. He never cries during this movie.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Suuuure. Whatever you say.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(...)"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(...ohhhh, i'm psychic don't 'cha know. better than mammah miss cleo herself. call meh nao fer a free crystal ball reahdin'!)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He's not sorry,,,
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe You left it wide open--
<abstersiveTournitro> "(Except I did not call, which makes me question why you would look into such a thing.)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Eyebrows.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Ohhhh, you're digging yourself in a real deep hole now--
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(who says i need a reason t'check up on my favorite lil' brother,,,)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He sloooowly leans in close, wrapping an arm around said favorite little brother. Dear god, look at that smile. That smile didn't belong in any reality.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe That smile belonged with the Brady Brunch--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Jesus, he's not gonna muss up your hair again is he--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Is he--
<abstersiveTournitro> "(Not looking at very many crystal balls, then, are you.)"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Just you try it.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "(ohhhh, i dunno...)"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe CreeeeepGRAB-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe OH SWEET HEAVENS THERE HE GOES.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe HOW WILL YOU EVER ESCAPE THIS DEATH TRAP OF A NOOGIE???
-*- abstersiveTournitro fLAIL
-*- MaryKate Gj
-*- MaryKate /Gj/
<-> MaryKate is now known as Jaspersprite
-*- abstersiveTournitro THAT'S IT NOW YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe TOO LATE.
-*- abstersiveTournitro DO YOU STILL LAUGH YOURSELF TO TEARS WHEN YOU GET POKED IN THE SIDES
-*- abstersiveTournitro HMM?
<cocksureGuttersnipe> LOOKS LIKE THAT HAIR GEL AIN'T SO GREAT AFTER ALL HUH VER-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe OW HAHAHAHAHA
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Y-YES.
<abstersiveTournitro> WHAT WAS THAT, DANTE? YOU'RE LAUGHING TOO HARD. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe T-THAT'S IT. YOU ASKED FOR IT--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe FOOT TO THE FACE
-*- abstersiveTournitro Forrest Gump enlisted in the army while Vergil Redgrave received an all-too-smelly, unsocked foot to the nOSE.
<abstersiveTournitro> YOU'RE GETTING TOE JAM IN MY EYE --
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Oh good. This was usually the part where he started feeling those sniffles again. Somewhere around the time when CCR started blaring about CANNONS and FREEDOM.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Butthat didn't matter because hE HAD TAKEN THE LEAD--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Fuh-lip--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe POUNCE.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Must...fight bACK--
-*- abstersiveTournitro CRAP.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Let's see how much you like it!
-*- abstersiveTournitro No no no no no no no no
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He thought, as the tears of laughter still trickled down his face.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe YES.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Crap his arms were pINNED OH GOD HE CAN'T BREATHE
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe YES.
-*- abstersiveTournitro LAUGHING TOO HARD
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe LET'S SEE IF THAT TORSO OF YOURS IS STILL TICKLISH--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe I BET IT STILL ISSSSSSS
-*- abstersiveTournitro NO IT'S NOT DON'T BE STUPID
-*- abstersiveTournitro NO NO NO NO NO DANTE NO NO OH GODALMHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe >:]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe >B]
-*- abstersiveTournitro All he can do is wRITHE and try to just
-*- abstersiveTournitro Wriggle just so
-*- abstersiveTournitro Yessssshahahaha hihahaha-- his arm's frEEHEHE
-*- abstersiveTournitro Time tohahahahaha eSCAPE
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Wh-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe How--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe NOW HE'S GOTTA--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe NO,,,
-*- abstersiveTournitro TOO LATE.
-*- abstersiveTournitro ALREADY BEING FLIPPED CLEAR OFF THE FURNITURE OOPS.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Whose arms are restrained now. >B]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe WHAT, NO. NO NO NO--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe WRIGGLE, GODDAMNIT. WRIGGLE FOR YOUR LIFE--
-*- abstersiveTournitro Hahahahaha --
-*- abstersiveTournitro While Forrest Gump met Bubba, Vergil tried to catch his breath and decide what to do with his dear victim. The opportunities were limitless.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Oh good. While you waste time like a freakin' Bond villain, he's going to be busy sTRUGGLING LIKE NO TOMORROW.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Could take his walkman. Could mess up his hair. Could give him a wet willy or, God help him, a wedgie.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe DON'T YOU DARE--
-*- abstersiveTournitro >B]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He is jamming his foot so hard into your back right now wHY AREN'T YOU NOTICING--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe IT TOOK HIM WEEKS TO GET THAT NASTY HAIR GEL OUTTA HIS DOO.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Doesn't even hurt.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe AND DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THE WEDGIE-
-*- abstersiveTournitro Ahh, but he is.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe but
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe dante's pants are rediculously tight as it is
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe how will you /manage/
-*- abstersiveTournitro Yeah, that was the only obstacle. The next best thing, then. Which is to say
-*- abstersiveTournitro Everything else.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe they're also being protected by his super rad super nintendo belt
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe that took him fOREVER TO CONJURE SO DON'T EVEN TRY
-*- abstersiveTournitro You know what else is on the belt, besides his pants? His walkman, probably. What 90's kid doesn't go everywhere with his walkman.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe HE WILL BITE YOU.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Yoink.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Eeep!
<abstersiveTournitro> "What's in this, anyway?"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> nO!
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO MAKE THAT MIXTAPE--"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "VERGIL--"
-*- abstersiveTournitro He popped it open while Forrest talked about his platoon being attacked. (Sometimes this part was a little stressful. He tried to ignore it.)
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "VERGIL--"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Snrk.
<abstersiveTournitro> "You can just imagine it up, can't you?"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Man he sure sounded smug.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "IT'S NOT THE SAME N' YOU KNOW IT--"
<abstersiveTournitro> "Hah. Fine, fine."
-*- abstersiveTournitro He snapped it shut and hooked it on his own pants, then thoughtfully regarded his prisoner, grinning ear to ear in a remarkably Cheshire manner.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe !!!
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Oh, you little rAT--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He futilely makes a grab for it, only to be confounded by hAND--
<abstersiveTournitro> "What else to do."
<abstersiveTournitro> "Resistance is futile, dear brother."
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "you can't aPPRECIATE HUSKER DU LIKE I DO--"
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe WRIGGLE WRIGGLE WRIGGLE--
-*- abstersiveTournitro Dante suddenly experienced a horrifyingly cold, wet, slimy sensation in his right ear while his brother snickered and explosions and gunshots rattled the TV speakers.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe JESUS CHRIST NO--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe NNNNNOOOO-
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe I hope you like flailing, Vergil. 'Cause here's a shitton coming your way.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Those legs are in full swing. Literally.
-*- abstersiveTournitro He was mostly just laughing uproariously, uncharacteristically, and flopped forward to keep his struggling sibling pinned. Not done yet, brother. The hair was next, and it would be lovely.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe vergil confirmed for bond villain
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe bl00finger
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...Oh no, no. No no no. All the flailing suddenly stops as he realizes what his brother is about to do--
-*- abstersiveTournitro Of course, he just happened to have his preferred gel in his sylladex, thank God. Otherwise it would be much more difficult to...fix.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Oh god.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Squiiiiirt.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Well, you've got his attention now. Wide and terrified. Probably just the way you liked it, you sick fuck.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Vergil rubbed his hands together and sloooowly combed back his brother's significantly longer hair -- mostly for the purpose of thoroughly coating it with the sticky gel, but hey, while he was at it, he might as well make it look good.
<abstersiveTournitro> "Stay still so you don't end up looking like as much of an idiot as you do with your normal hairstyle."
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe hE'LL BITE YOU--
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "bUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS SOOOOO STUPID--"
-*- abstersiveTournitro On screen, Bubba's passing went by painfully slowly. Vergil just snickered and continued working at the mop.
<abstersiveTournitro> "Don't be a baby. It's not that bad."
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe You could've sworn your heard his voice crack there. You're getting to him more than you probably thought.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Wheeze.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "yer gonna give me a mullet--"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "a mullet--"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "dave won't let me hear the end of this,,,"
-*- Jaspersprite neither will /i/
-*- Jaspersprite pls send pix
<abstersiveTournitro> "God no. It won't be that bad."
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "you've already taken my baby n' gave me a wet willy."
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...and what did it matter, he wondered as Forrest recovered from a wound to the buttocks, what Strider thought, anyway? It wasn't like he was even awake to see it.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "but no, i'm sure you have nothin' but good intentions in mind."
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Because he's a bro, okay?
<abstersiveTournitro> "Of course. You're my brother. How could I harbor ill will toward this face?"
-*- abstersiveTournitro He reached down with still-gelly fingers and pinched Dante's cheek lightly.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe B<
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe >B<
-*- abstersiveTournitro B]
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He'd slap that hand away if he could, but he cAN'T so he simply settles for trying to shake it off. Stupid icky oily hand.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "tch, i wear it better."
-*- abstersiveTournitro Vergil tapped more than slapped the same cheek lightly, just to annoy him further, before fixing the sides of the new 'do a little more.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Juuuust about.
-*- abstersiveTournitro Done. He leaned back to a...admire his...work...
-*- abstersiveTournitro His grin faded. Oh.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe It better not look stupid. He gets one whiff of mullethead and he's tearing right into your sylladex and ripping every page out of your dumb b...
-*- abstersiveTournitro Forrest Gump played ping-pong in the background.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...ooks?
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ....Ohhhh, that wasn't good. That wasn't good at all.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe And here he thought that maniacal laughter was bad.
-*- abstersiveTournitro No maniacal laughter. Just a silent, odd stare. And then he cleared his throat and mumbled,
<abstersiveTournitro> "Looks fine."
-*- abstersiveTournitro No exaggerated teasing, no cheek-pinching or name-calling or...anything. No Cheshire grin or signs of barely-hidden amusement.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...Yeah, that was definitely bad. Bad and abrupt. Like Mr. Hyde one moment and Dr. Jekyll the next.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe That is, like Dr. Jekyll on two tons worth of Tylenol.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe A part of him doesn't want to ask, telling him that this is just another set up to yet another phase of his torture, but...
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe ...He can't just let this go, okay? He'd kill himself if he didn't.
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "...h-hey."
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "you okay?"
-*- abstersiveTournitro Vergil looked away, focused on Forrest Gump playing against Chinese ping-pong teams. You go, Forrest.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe He's ignoring you.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe For ping pong.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Something's wrong.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Now he's got his serious face on. His serious concerned face that would usually totally ruin movie night, but--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe "...hey, c'mon. yer just gonna leave me hangin'? i'm at yer total n' utter mercy n' yer just gonna drop the ball like this?"
<cocksureGuttersnipe> "tch, y'lil' rat."
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe Ahhh, there goes that laugh again. The kind of laugh he makes when he's trying so, so very hard to smooth everything out. He hopes his brother doesn't catch it, but--
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe His brother knows him too well.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe And he knows his brother too well.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe His wrist twitches, longing to run a hand through his hair, a subconscious reflex.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe All things considered.
-*- cocksureGuttersnipe It's probably better he didn't.
-*- abstersiveTournitro ...He's trying really hard, isn't he.
-*- abstersiveTournitro It wasn't like Dante to ask that, not unless something seemed wrong. And nothing was -- at least, Vergil didn't think anything was. But it wasn't exactly right either.
-*- abstersiveTournitro He turned from where Forrest was earning $25,000 on a sponsorship and focused on his brother, offering an affectionate, almost pensive, attempt at a half-smile -- genuine, but weak.
-*- abstersiveTournitro But focusing on his brother was...difficult, to say the least.
-*- abstersiveTournitro And thinking of something to say was even harder.