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FlutterPriest

(FR) Lyler vs The Flutterbat (S4E7)

Dec 29th, 2013
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  1. prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/245069/2/the-lyler-archive/lyler-and-the-flutterbat
  2.  
  3. ---
  4. >You wake up in the dark of the night in the middle Ponyville.
  5. >Slowly you get to your feet and look around to get your bearings.
  6. >A shadow moves swiftly through the air.
  7. >Immediately you look around and guard yourself.
  8. >It looks like there is a forest about a mile to the west.
  9. >The shadow moves from rooftop to rooftop with blinding speed.
  10. >You slowly shuffle to the forest, refusing to turn your back to the flying beast.
  11. >It's stops on top of a house and stares down at you with red piercing eyes.
  12. >A shiver runs down your spine.
  13. >The forest is too far.
  14. >Looking around, you have to find a friend's house for refuge.
  15. >The creature leaps into the air and spreads it's massive wings in the light of the moon.
  16. >Massive bat wings.
  17. >On a mare's body.
  18. >She swoops down through the air and lands six feet in front of you.
  19. >The bright moonlight illuminates the features of the mare.
  20. >Long Pink hair
  21. >Yellow fur.
  22. >Butterflies on the butt.
  23. >Oh great.
  24. >Phew.
  25. >It's just Fluttershy.
  26. >Probably just looking for another fetish attempt.
  27. "Jeez Fluttershy. You really had me going there for a second."
  28. >She hisses at you loudly and you take a step backward.
  29. >You back slowly away from the beast in front of you.
  30. "Woah... uh.. are you okay girl?"
  31. >"I'm... soo.. hungry Anon."
  32. >She walks towards you and you quicken your pace.
  33. "Well maybe we can grab you some food... uh. Pinkie would probably open up Sugarcube for a snack if we asked... hehe."
  34. >"No Anon."
  35. >She continues to move forward towards you, licking her lips and eyes bearing down at you.
  36. >"I'm hungry... for you."
  37. >She leaps into the air towards you.
  38. >You jump to the side and take an all out sprint towards Lyra's house.
  39. >The yellow demon's wings flap loudly through the air behind you.
  40. >The door is just a few feet away.
  41. >Charging shoulder first, you smash the door open and close it behind you, hearing a loud thump slam into the door.
  42. >"Open the Doooor Anon..."
  43.  
  44. "Fuck off," you yell back proudly.
  45. >"Pretty pleease Anon? I'll make it worth your whiile..." she coos back at you.
  46. "How about 'no'? Yeah, I'm going to go with 'No'."
  47. >You quickly barricade the door and run upstairs.
  48. "LYRA! LYRA!"
  49. >You open up the door to Lyra's room and find it empty.
  50. >Oh great.
  51. >Now what?
  52. >"AAAANNNEEEERRRRNNNNN!"
  53. >Instantly you are forced to the ground by the force of a 60lb retarded horse.
  54. "Lyler. Get off me. I have way bigger issues to deal with right now."
  55. >You groan at your rotten luck.
  56. "Where is your sister?"
  57. >"SHES SLEEPENG WIT BERNBERN!"
  58. "Ugh. Alright. Fine."
  59. >You don't have time for this bullshit.
  60. >Time Turner's place isn't too far from here.
  61. >If you sneak out the front...
  62. >THE SENSITIVE EARS!
  63. "Lyler. There is candy in Lyra's Bathroom cabinet."
  64. >"CANDY!"
  65. >With the speed of 10 kenyans, Lyra speeds off to the bathroom.
  66. >You tip toe downstairs to avoid any distractions from Lyler.
  67. >Edging your way to the back door, you turn the handle slowly, then slam it with all your might.
  68. >A loud hiss rings out from the front and you sprint to the front door, hoping for a successful distraction.
  69. >Running out the front door, you see the yellow beast fly to the backyard.
  70. >YES!
  71. >Time Turner's place is right-OOMPH
  72. >"DAT WASNT CANDY. IT WAS BIRF CUNTROL."
  73. >"MAMA'S COMING ANON!"
  74. "FUCK!"
  75. >You try to push Lyler off of you, but she punches you in the nose and you begin to bleed.
  76. "LET ME GO!"
  77. >"SEY SURRY!"
  78. "IM SORRY JESUS CHRIST GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"
  79. >"alright ok."
  80. >She gets off of you and you run into the house and slam the door behind you.
  81. >"DAT WUZ CLOZ"
  82. "What? how?"
  83. >How do retards even work?
  84. >You run upstairs and kick open Time Turner's bedroom door.
  85. "Turner I need a -OH GOD!"
  86. >Time Turner and Derpy Look at you in shock as she is pegging him.
  87. >"Uh. One minute please." he replies to you.
  88. >You step outside and just about vomit.
  89. >He comes out into the hall.
  90. >"What do you need."
  91.  
  92. "Flashlight."
  93. >"Kitchen. Second drawer on the right."
  94. "Thanks. uh. go back to... that."
  95. >"Will do."
  96. >You head downstairs and Lyler is sniffing the door handle.
  97. >After staring at her for a moment, you shake your head and head into the kitchen, where there appears to be the remains of a romantic dinner.
  98. >You find the drawer and grab the flashlight.
  99. >> Recommended: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg3sWXJb98A
  100. >You go to raise your hands due to the item you've just found.
  101. >However, you forgot that pony houses are small.
  102. >You smash your hands right through the ceiling.
  103. >Shit.
  104. >Well now maybe you can disorient Flutterbat.
  105. >However, this does not mean you can defeat her in Mortal Kombat(tm).
  106. >You must secure a weapon.
  107. >Heading back into the living room, Lyler is hitting the door with her face in response to each knock that Flutterbat makes.
  108. "Lyler."
  109. >"MY FACE FEELS FUNNY!"
  110. "Stop."
  111. >"NO U"
  112. >She hits it even harder and falls over.
  113. >Well, that solved that.
  114. >Suddenly the answer is directly in front of you.
  115. >You have the strongest weapon of all.
  116. >The power of the retard.
  117. >Lyler the Vampony Smasher.
  118. >Grabbing her back hooves, she instantly straightens out like a massive baseball bat.
  119. >No.
  120. >Like a MIGHTY WARHAMMER.
  121. >+10 ATTACK.
  122. >Before you open up the door, you give yourself a pep talk.
  123. >One that boosts your confidence and raises your spirits.
  124. >You remember the words of your great brother Swift_M0nkey.
  125. >"Don't Die."
  126. >Busting through the door, you prepare for your epic war cry, but Lyler beats you to the cut.
  127. > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBhxIyT8Slg#t=23
  128. >A loud hiss fills the air.
  129.  
  130. >>Recommended Listening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUEhj58FOk
  131. >The Flutterbat lands in front of you and charges.
  132. >You swing your retard back and prepare for a hard strike on the vampire.
  133. >Her sharp teeth are bared and her eyes glisten with bloodlust.
  134. >Swinging the retard with all your might you make a direct hit on the bat.
  135. >"WHEEEEEEE" screams Lyler.
  136. >Flutterbat swoops into the air and aims to come at you head on.
  137. "Alright. I want you to headbutt her Lyler."
  138. >"OKAAAAY"
  139. >You swing the mint green pony around in the air like a lasso and toss her at the yellow winged menace.
  140. >She spins around in the air and lines her ass up with Fluttershy's face.
  141. >Before the red eyed batpony can stop her head is forced into Lyler's butt.
  142. >"AMAZING WIN!"
  143. >The ponycentipede falls to the ground and it's yellow half squirms in pain.
  144. >Lyler simply smiles.
  145. >You walk up to her with disappointment.
  146. "I wanted you to knock her unconscious, not scar her for life."
  147. >"CAN I SUCK YOUR PEEPEE?"
  148. >You stare at her for another moment.
  149. "You know. Nevermind. I'm going home."
  150. >Marching home, you watch the slowly arise on the horizon.
  151. >And so once again, the day has been saved. All thanks to
  152. >Fucking Lyler.
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