A Relationship Gone Wrong,

Everything has consequences, whether it be just saying no to someone's offer or not

doing something. They all will lead to something, each decision made will always cause

something in return. Cause and effect, because you did something, something else will happen,

and then something else, until eventually you have a domino effect.


Despite past events, despite everything that has happened, I went against the advice,

the recommendations, the decision. Unsure of my own feelings, I went ahead with it, and I was

told that I'd end up hurt in the end. Despite the warning, I continued onward, and I went along with

my decision, I end up obtaining something that I've never had before. Something that I can latch

onto at the end of the day, someone that I can confide, someone who will listen to my struggles,

someone that enjoys just being around me. Whether it be a good or bad day, I always looked

forward to our time spent together.


Before I even realized it, days had gone by, and we shared so much time together. The

wait always felt like a lifetime, but I endured it for hours. Almost a day would go by before we

could speak, but I always cherished every moment we spent together.

I was able to speak about things that I never tell anyone, things that most people never

get to see. My dreams are never told to anyone unless they're extremely messed up or strange,

but I shared with you the dreams that I had that day. Whether or not if they had any meaning or if

they were interesting, I shared them and essentially I opened myself up. I essentially came out of

the shell I stayed in, I poked my head from the dark space I kept myself in and essentially showed

you everything I was.


The good, the bad, the ugly. You accepted me for who I was, even though I didn't know

of much, you still put up with me, through all of it, you never made let my faults change anything.

Despite everything, you accepted me as I was. And I did the same for you, everything that

happened, it never changed how I thought of you. I ended up drawing stuff again because of you.

A week went by, and everything was fine, there were some bumps along the way. But we

were able to get through them. Despite everything that has happened, we never gave up on what

was originally opposed to. Life was great, everything seemed perfect, sure we had our share of

troubles, but doesn't everyone have troubles? The friend suggested one day that there was

infidelity afoot. And I was like, "Ha, no way Jose!"


2 days go by, and the thought lingers. I began to think that maybe there could be some reasoning behind his statement. I asked him, "How would you know that she is cheating on me?" He is intrigued, he states, "That's quite the interesting question indeed, how would I know?" "It's quite simple really, she tells everything to her friend, and it annoys me how she lies about your

relationship" He continues with his explanation and the conversation is put on­hold.

When it continues, we finally get to where it all ends up falling apart, the point where it all

went to shambles is when he said, "She talks to her all the time about other guys and how she

wants to fuck them, and how I"m still just your 'nerd" I end up repressing my feelings of anger, and

I call,"That's bull shit!" From there everything went downhill. I become confused about what I'm

feeling. I find myself unsure of what I should be feeling. Unknown to me were my own feelings, my

friend tells me that I could be feeling jealousy, anger, depression, sadness. I keep telling him that I

have no clue what I'm feeling, and he asks me my feelings for you.


I say truthfully,"I'm unsure of what my feelings, I've been alone for so long, and because I

unconsciously repress my feelings, I don't really know what love feels like." He then goes on

about he told me so, and that he was always against it from the start, and then he asks me what

am I gonna do about it? I tell him I'm unsure, my mind ends up drawing blanks, I am unsure how to

react to what happened, to what I should do, or what I want to do. He tells me that he'll handle it

for me, and asks if I trust. I tell him,"Yes, I trust you." never actually giving confirmation that I'd let him handle the situation.


Things only got worse from there, I end up becoming all alone in this world yet again. I

end up becoming depressed. I end up becoming teary­eared, but not a tear was shed. I end up

contemplating the idea of suicide, and I tell him that my life is a mess. He contradicts me and tells

me that I am stable, and that I don't need you in my life. I tell him that I need stability in my life. I

tell him how hectic my life has been for the past year. And he tells me that I need to move on, and

how I the person who'll become my wife isn't just going to come.