In March of 1968 as a young man I awoke, sweating profusely, to the screaming of gunfire and falling mortar shells in the valley and was unable to drift off back into tranquility. I lay there staring at the ceiling of the barrack, listening to the cry of the land, of its people, and of us, which had manifested itself in the deafening sound produced by the various instruments of war at use. The variety of ways in which we could end a life was truly remarkable.
	The lieutenant entered the tent and went about waking the troops. Dressing, I noticed that one of the newer recruits had not yet managed to get out of his bunk; he was young and his back was turned making it hard to tell if he had still been sleeping. Another one, I thought. Couldn’t work up the courage to get out of bed. If all that lay ahead of him was another day of sitting in foxholes, going out on patrols, and standing by helplessly while men lay dying, then I couldn’t blame him. Today held many possibilities, none of them favorable. I slipped a pack of playing cards into my breast pocket that consisted of only the ace of spades--ostensibly the Vietnamese thought it symbolized the coming of death and misfortune to their people--but I couldn’t see it. It was just a card. Inanimate. Could do no harm. I slung fifty pounds of equipment and supplies vital to survival in the jungle over my shoulders and yet it was still missing the most essential thing of all. I used to know what that was but I’ve been here long enough to have forgotten long ago.
	I left the tent, the boy still laying on his cot, and went to join the platoon gathered in the midst of the erratic camp. Two squadrons were heading out of the gate for patrol duty lead by a rather weak looking kid with thick framed glasses, he had a smile on his face as he led the men on; the colonel, whose hair was turning a pale white, stood outside of the officers tent inspecting each passing solider with an unrelenting gaze, and when spotted would clench his teeth in a terrifying grin as if he was about to pounce upon the nearest FNG and feast savagely upon him; and, of course, the faithful lieutenant, who held his bible held cross with his heart while he briefed his men.