==Part I== What fun would an Anon on Earth story be?

>A loud bang, followed by darkness and pain.

==Part II== Anon the human

>You open your eyes
>You're strapped down to a moving table
>You see nothing but white ceiling tiles above you
>Your attempt to move your arms is futile
>A female nurse appears above you, her blond hair tucked back in a pony tail.
>Her blue eyes full of panic
>Her red lips are moving but you can only hear ringing
>She grabs two metal plates and puts them on your chest
>you see her lips move "clear", then feel a jolt in your chest as you drift asleep...

==Part III== Anon the... Royaly fucked.

>After what feels like a life time, you hear voices.
>You open your eyes
>A blindingly bright light hangs above you
>You test your voice
"Hech. h-hello..." *wheeze*
>"He's awake, doctor." says an obviously female voice
>You hear what sounds like two sets of footsteps echoing across the hard concrete
>The nurse stands over you
>It's a p0ny.
>A fucking p0ny.

==Part IV== Anon The Flank Magnet

>You have been in P0nyville for a month now. P0nys have taken a shine to you. None of them fear you, oddly enough.
>You work with Pinkie at Sugar Cube Corner, working the night shift making cake.
>Your hands are useful for stuff like that, and you adjusted your sleep schedule quickly
>Pinkie bounces in at 7AM, just like every day. "OHHAIANONWHATSNEWHOWAREYOUIMFINEILLTAKEOVERFORTHEDAYSHIFTGOHOMEANDGETSOMEREST!"
"Hey Pinkie..."
>Is all you get out before she takes your apron and shoves you out the door
>That mare needs some people skills....
>You walk back to Twilight's house, where you have been living for the buylast month
>Knock
>Spike opens the b
>Fist bump. He's a cool dude, like a little brother.
>"Hey Anon. I'm going to Fluttershy's, wanna come?"
Yup
>le walk for 20 min
>le in sight of her house
>le tackled by Dash
>"ANON!" screams Dash
I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL WHEN YOUR STANDING ON MY CHEST!
>"OKAY!"she screams jokingly, then steps off you looking awkward. "so... wanna go..." *drags hoof on ground* "Get something to drink?"
>D'awwww at her obnoxious, yet cute way of asking you out
>The hard cider here is fucking incredible....
>You abandon Spike, tell him you will hang out when you get off work in the morning.
>Luckily, this universe has never heard of "Bros before Hoes"

==Part V== Anon The Reasonable

>You get hammered
>Dashie can't hold her liquor. Hell, she can barely hold herself up...
>She's coming on to you hard.
>"Aa-ano-n... eym tew drunk tew fly..."
>she passes out in the bar,
>You carry her to Twilight's house
>Its noon, you pass out next to Dash on the couch.
>Wake up at 8PM, Dash wakes up when you try to move. BedroomEyes.png.
<"DON'T DO IT, MAN!" screams your brain
<"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND, LISTEN TO ME!" your dick replies "DO IT!"
<"Sorry dick... not going to happen today..."
"Err, I need to get to work, Dashie.... can you get off me?"
>She protests and snuggles you
>D'awwww
Dash I seriously need to get to work.
>"Okay..." She drags her hoof across your chest
>D'awwww
>Dick strengthens his resolve
<Brain screams in protest, "GET OUT OF THERE!! SHES A HORSE For Fuck's Sake!"
>You never really thought about this. Apparently some part of you sees it as wrong.
<Dick says otherwise. She is a sentient, sexy being. What is the issue here? You agree with this, but not now, dick!
>You run out of the room
>Shit. Shower. Shave.
>Dick protests getting dressed
<"Bro, there's some hot p0ny flank out there and you going to walk away? What happened to you, bro?"
<Brain help me... "Errr" hes out of ideas "Just fucking run!"
>la la la la la la
>Can't walk past Dash.
>Dash knocks on door, needing the bathroom
>Leave, avoid looking at her
>"Anon... are you okay? Did I do something wrong? I'm sor-"
No Dash, its not you. I'm just... stressed. When I get off work we can hang out. Okay?
>"My place?"
>Her place is a cloud 100 ft off the ground. Even if you got up there, you would fall to your death.
Uh, I can't stand on clouds....
>"Your place it is."
>Dick is appeased for now, and brain can't complain.

==Part VI=== Anon The Suacidal

>make cake
>make cake
>more cake
>cake....
>cake sucks
>make more cake
>cake more make
>more make cake
>CAAAAAKKKEEE
>cake....
>fuck cake...
>cake sucks.
>How the fuck do p0nys eat so much cake?!?!?
>make more cake
>cake
>seriously, who eats this much god damn cake!?!?!
>You're halfway done with your quota for the night
>CAKE
>125 down
>fuckin kake....
>cake....
>cake....
>cake....
>Rip hair out
>LAST CAKE!
>Done!
>Pinkie bounces in just in time
>"OHHIANONHO-"
>Stuffs apron in her mouth
Pinkie. I quit.
>Her jaw drops, the apron falling on to the ground
If I have to make one more goddamn cake I'm killing myself. I'm quite impressed that you haven't done so.
>"Well cake makes people happy... I love to make people happy! This job dosen't make you happy, so you're fired!" she smirks.
>She gives you the rest of your bits, 400 for this week.
Thanks, Pinks.
>"No prob-lem-o!"
>she bounces away
>Now I need to get a new job... back home you were a mechanic... too bad there are no cars here...

==Part V== Anon the monster

>You are walking home
>Fluttershy is walking towards you, with a bag of birdseed but you pay no attention. you two never really talk.
>she trips on her own hooves and falls down under your feet
>You trip, trying not to crush her on the way down
>"EEP" she squeaks as you just miss crushing her
>"o-oh hai t-there...wh-what waaas your name again, m-mister?"
>You get up and dust yourself off
Hey there, Shyshy. the name's Anon.
>You offer her your hand to get up
>She takes it and you pull her up and hand her her birdseed. She hangs her head
>"Oh, I'm s-so sorry anon. I'm so clumsy... you must hate me.." she hides behind her main
>you're overwhelmed with D'awww
>nope. Just d'awww for a few seconds.
>Still D'awww'ing
No, no it's fine. Are you okay?
>"Yeah..."
>She runs off
>What a strange,yet cute mare. Just makes you want to hug her until she feels better...
<"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, BRAIN?!?!? HES GOING SOFT ON ME!" screams dick.
<"Usually it's you going soft." Brain starts snickering to himself.
<That's below the belt, man.
<Brain just lost a few bro points
>Snap out of it and walk home
>Twilight is chatting up Dash.
<Sorry dick...
<Dick throws a fit
Sup ladies?
>"Anon!" they both exclaim
>"We're going to see Fluttershy's new bird." said Twi
>"He's a racing falcon, from Saddle Arabia!"
>Dash looks excited, must want to race it.
Heh, I just bumped in to her. Quite literally.
>They don't understand.
She fell down and tripped me raccidentally. Then ran off scared. I kinda feel sorry for her.
>"Well that's why they call her flutterSHY." the girls giggle.
>Twilight teleports us to Fluttershy's door step.
>You knock
>"H-ey g-girls, and Anon. c-come in..."
>Dash and Twilight run to the falcon. You try to talk to Fluttershy.
>You get nothing but "Eep" and "eek" from her. This makes dick mad, and brain sad.
>Fluttershy talks to Dash and Twilight just fine, but simply can't talk when she looks at you.
>twi tps us home at the end of the night
>Standing in twis house
>"Anon, flutershy likes you." Says twi, horn in full glow still
Funny wa-
>"But she is also... scard..." she cuts you off
>The purple glow of her horn changes to some kind of tv screen
>Its twilights view of a conversation with dash and flutters
"Hey fluttershy, why wont you talk to anon?"
>"Um... i... i cant...." Oddly depressing HidesBehindMane.exe
Why not, you talk to colts all the time.
>"Well uhm, i-i have a book..."
>She flutters away just to return seconds later with a huge book in her mouth
>She flips the pages until she finds the one with pictures of army guys all over it
>"Humans have been extinct for as long as celestia has been alive. They fought eachother so much they went extinct..."
>A "WOW" and a few "Awesome!"'s could be heard from dash as they reach the human vehicals part. Specificly the airplanes.
>"So um, this says they are 'the most violent and distructive species to ever exist, managing to ruin 75% of earth's ecosystems in 300 years and kill out themselfs in the process' im not sure we should have him here..."
>Dash douth protest
>"BULLSHIT, Anon is kind and gentle an-" fluttershy interupts, quoting the book again
>"And... 'Humans lie almost compulsavly, there apatite for sex excedes even there apatite for the flesh of animals, and they will lie, cheat, steal and even kill to get what they want' s-sorry, i cant associate with him..."
>"Thats not like him at all, try to get to know him before you pass judgment!" Yells dash
>"I... i cant..." fluttershy closes the book and flys it back to its shelf
>"Hes bad news guys, watch your backs..."
>The tv fades away

==Part VI== anon the... just fucking read it...

>"Well?" Says twi
Well what?
>"Is any of that true?"
N-
>Fuck it is.
Well, im not going to lie to you, its partly correct... but it leaves out all the good parts of humanity, we are not all murdering rapists. Most of the time wars are started by evil men and resisted by the loyal, most of us dont want any war at all, its the guys in charge that give us a bad name. From this stems the term "absolute power corrupts absolutly". For what its worth, i consider you all friends, and would do nothing to hurt you.
"What was that about absolute power?" Asks twilight
When you have control of everything, you can do what ever you want. Without restrictions, leaders fuck up and turn evil.
>"Must be a human thing, celestia could have baked us all alive when ever she wanted for the last 1000 years and she has not been corupted."
Maybe, but my point stands. Humans are not all bad.
>"I beleave him..."Unserprisingly dash says" but fluttershy has already told half the town..."
>brain:Your bucked.
>You:Shuddup brain. You dont have to tell me.
>Dick:Did someone say buck?
>You:FUCK YOU DICK
>Dick:Ok ok sorry. Help me out here, brain. Nop0ny will want to buck a human after this gets out...
>Brain:What... what if...
>You:I know what your thinking...
>Dick:Im cool with being a stalion cock...
>Together:Deal.
Twilight, this is bound to start a riot for my removal... i only see 2 ways out. For me to leave, or to become a p0ny.
>"An excuse to learn transfiguration? Count me in. SPIKE! Get the transfiguration book!"
>The little dragon wodles in, huge book over his head and hands it to twi
>Fuck you blew him off 2 days ago
>Dead stare as he walks out
As twi flips through the pages, dash speaks up
"But... What if i don't want him to be a pony? I love anon for who he is..."
>Is the word love tossed arround here more then at home? Or is dis bitch srs?
>As she tackles you onto the couch and starts licking you, you have your answer
>Dick dont you dare-
>Dick: Sorry, bro. Too late.
>Twilight giggles
>"Ill leave you two alone"
>"Come on twi, it will be fuuuuunnnnn!"
>dash really wants this...
>"Sigh, why not?"
>Dash has secuessfuly exicuted RapeFace.exe
>Twi grabs some wine as dash bites and paws at your pants
>Let her strugle because mother fucking D'awwww
>Twi sits down and hands you a wine bottle
>Glasses for herself and dash
>ImOkWithThis.jpg
>Chug as twi's horn glows
>Clothing phases out of existance
>Brain: Note to self, don't fuck with twilight.
>Dick: But i can fuck her still rite?
>You: SHUDDUP
>Dash downs her drink and rolls over onto her back, wings spread acrost the with of the coutch
>Bedroomeyes.gif==Part I== What fun would an Anon on Earth story be?

>A loud bang, followed by darkness and pain.

==Part II== Anon the human

>You open your eyes
>You're strapped down to a moving table
>You see nothing but white ceiling tiles above you
>Your attempt to move your arms is futile
>A female nurse appears above you, her blond hair tucked back in a pony tail.
>Her blue eyes full of panic
>Her red lips are moving but you can only hear ringing
>She grabs two metal plates and puts them on your chest
>you see her lips move "clear", then feel a jolt in your chest as you drift asleep...

==Part III== Anon the... Royaly fucked.

>After what feels like a life time, you hear voices.
>You open your eyes
>A blindingly bright light hangs above you
>You test your voice
"Hech. h-hello..." *wheeze*
>"He's awake, doctor." says an obviously female voice
>You hear what sounds like two sets of footsteps echoing across the hard concrete
>The nurse stands over you
>It's a p0ny.
>A fucking p0ny.

==Part IV== Anon The Flank Magnet

>You have been in P0nyville for a month now. P0nys have taken a shine to you. None of them fear you, oddly enough.
>You work with Pinkie at Sugar Cube Corner, working the night shift making cake.
>Your hands are useful for stuff like that, and you adjusted your sleep schedule quickly
>Pinkie bounces in at 7AM, just like every day. "OHHAIANONWHATSNEWHOWAREYOUIMFINEILLTAKEOVERFORTHEDAYSHIFTGOHOMEANDGETSOMEREST!"
"Hey Pinkie..."
>Is all you get out before she takes your apron and shoves you out the door
>That mare needs some people skills....
>You walk back to Twilight's house, where you have been living for the buylast month
>Knock
>Spike opens the b
>Fist bump. He's a cool dude, like a little brother.
>"Hey Anon. I'm going to Fluttershy's, wanna come?"
Yup
>le walk for 20 min
>le in sight of her house
>le tackled by Dash
>"ANON!" screams Dash
I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL WHEN YOUR STANDING ON MY CHEST!
>"OKAY!"she screams jokingly, then steps off you looking awkward. "so... wanna go..." *drags hoof on ground* "Get something to drink?"
>D'awwww at her obnoxious, yet cute way of asking you out
>The hard cider here is fucking incredible....
>You abandon Spike, tell him you will hang out when you get off work in the morning.
>Luckily, this universe has never heard of "Bros before Hoes"

==Part V== Anon The Reasonable

>You get hammered
>Dashie can't hold her liquor. Hell, she can barely hold herself up...
>She's coming on to you hard.
>"Aa-ano-n... eym tew drunk tew fly..."
>she passes out in the bar,
>You carry her to Twilight's house
>Its noon, you pass out next to Dash on the couch.
>Wake up at 8PM, Dash wakes up when you try to move. BedroomEyes.png.
<"DON'T DO IT, MAN!" screams your brain
<"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND, LISTEN TO ME!" your dick replies "DO IT!"
<"Sorry dick... not going to happen today..."
"Err, I need to get to work, Dashie.... can you get off me?"
>She protests and snuggles you
>D'awwww
Dash I seriously need to get to work.
>"Okay..." She drags her hoof across your chest
>D'awwww
>Dick strengthens his resolve
<Brain screams in protest, "GET OUT OF THERE!! SHES A HORSE For Fuck's Sake!"
>You never really thought about this. Apparently some part of you sees it as wrong.
<Dick says otherwise. She is a sentient, sexy being. What is the issue here? You agree with this, but not now, dick!
>You run out of the room
>Shit. Shower. Shave.
>Dick protests getting dressed
<"Bro, there's some hot p0ny flank out there and you going to walk away? What happened to you, bro?"
<Brain help me... "Errr" hes out of ideas "Just fucking run!"
>la la la la la la
>Can't walk past Dash.
>Dash knocks on door, needing the bathroom
>Leave, avoid looking at her
>"Anon... are you okay? Did I do something wrong? I'm sor-"
No Dash, its not you. I'm just... stressed. When I get off work we can hang out. Okay?
>"My place?"
>Her place is a cloud 100 ft off the ground. Even if you got up there, you would fall to your death.
Uh, I can't stand on clouds....
>"Your place it is."
>Dick is appeased for now, and brain can't complain.

==Part VI=== Anon The Suacidal

>make cake
>make cake
>more cake
>cake....
>cake sucks
>make more cake
>cake more make
>more make cake
>CAAAAAKKKEEE
>cake....
>fuck cake...
>cake sucks.
>How the fuck do p0nys eat so much cake?!?!?
>make more cake
>cake
>seriously, who eats this much god damn cake!?!?!
>You're halfway done with your quota for the night
>CAKE
>125 down
>fuckin kake....
>cake....
>cake....
>cake....
>Rip hair out
>LAST CAKE!
>Done!
>Pinkie bounces in just in time
>"OHHIANONHO-"
>Stuffs apron in her mouth
Pinkie. I quit.
>Her jaw drops, the apron falling on to the ground
If I have to make one more goddamn cake I'm killing myself. I'm quite impressed that you haven't done so.
>"Well cake makes people happy... I love to make people happy! This job dosen't make you happy, so you're fired!" she smirks.
>She gives you the rest of your bits, 400 for this week.
Thanks, Pinks.
>"No prob-lem-o!"
>she bounces away
>Now I need to get a new job... back home you were a mechanic... too bad there are no cars here...

==Part V== Anon the monster

>You are walking home
>Fluttershy is walking towards you, with a bag of birdseed but you pay no attention. you two never really talk.
>she trips on her own hooves and falls down under your feet
>You trip, trying not to crush her on the way down
>"EEP" she squeaks as you just miss crushing her
>"o-oh hai t-there...wh-what waaas your name again, m-mister?"
>You get up and dust yourself off
Hey there, Shyshy. the name's Anon.
>You offer her your hand to get up
>She takes it and you pull her up and hand her her birdseed. She hangs her head
>"Oh, I'm s-so sorry anon. I'm so clumsy... you must hate me.." she hides behind her main
>you're overwhelmed with D'awww
>nope. Just d'awww for a few seconds.
>Still D'awww'ing
No, no it's fine. Are you okay?
>"Yeah..."
>She runs off
>What a strange,yet cute mare. Just makes you want to hug her until she feels better...
<"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, BRAIN?!?!? HES GOING SOFT ON ME!" screams dick.
<"Usually it's you going soft." Brain starts snickering to himself.
<That's below the belt, man.
<Brain just lost a few bro points
>Snap out of it and walk home
>Twilight is chatting up Dash.
<Sorry dick...
<Dick throws a fit
Sup ladies?
>"Anon!" they both exclaim
>"We're going to see Fluttershy's new bird." said Twi
>"He's a racing falcon, from Saddle Arabia!"
>Dash looks excited, must want to race it.
Heh, I just bumped in to her. Quite literally.
>They don't understand.
She fell down and tripped me raccidentally. Then ran off scared. I kinda feel sorry for her.
>"Well that's why they call her flutterSHY." the girls giggle.
>Twilight teleports us to Fluttershy's door step.
>You knock
>"H-ey g-girls, and Anon. c-come in..."
>Dash and Twilight run to the falcon. You try to talk to Fluttershy.
>You get nothing but "Eep" and "eek" from her. This makes dick mad, and brain sad.
>Fluttershy talks to Dash and Twilight just fine, but simply can't talk when she looks at you.
>twi tps us home at the end of the night
>Standing in twis house
>"Anon, flutershy likes you." Says twi, horn in full glow still
Funny wa-
>"But she is also... scard..." she cuts you off
>The purple glow of her horn changes to some kind of tv screen
>Its twilights view of a conversation with dash and flutters
"Hey fluttershy, why wont you talk to anon?"
>"Um... i... i cant...." Oddly depressing HidesBehindMane.exe
Why not, you talk to colts all the time.
>"Well uhm, i-i have a book..."
>She flutters away just to return seconds later with a huge book in her mouth
>She flips the pages until she finds the one with pictures of army guys all over it
>"Humans have been extinct for as long as celestia has been alive. They fought eachother so much they went extinct..."
>A "WOW" and a few "Awesome!"'s could be heard from dash as they reach the human vehicals part. Specificly the airplanes.
>"So um, this says they are 'the most violent and distructive species to ever exist, managing to ruin 75% of earth's ecosystems in 300 years and kill out themselfs in the process' im not sure we should have him here..."
>Dash douth protest
>"BULLSHIT, Anon is kind and gentle an-" fluttershy interupts, quoting the book again
>"And... 'Humans lie almost compulsavly, there apatite for sex excedes even there apatite for the flesh of animals, and they will lie, cheat, steal and even kill to get what they want' s-sorry, i cant associate with him..."
>"Thats not like him at all, try to get to know him before you pass judgment!" Yells dash
>"I... i cant..." fluttershy closes the book and flys it back to its shelf
>"Hes bad news guys, watch your backs..."
>The tv fades away

==Part VI== anon the... just fucking read it...

>"Well?" Says twi
Well what?
>"Is any of that true?"
N-
>Fuck it is.
Well, im not going to lie to you, its partly correct... but it leaves out all the good parts of humanity, we are not all murdering rapists. Most of the time wars are started by evil men and resisted by the loyal, most of us dont want any war at all, its the guys in charge that give us a bad name. From this stems the term "absolute power corrupts absolutly". For what its worth, i consider you all friends, and would do nothing to hurt you.
"What was that about absolute power?" Asks twilight
When you have control of everything, you can do what ever you want. Without restrictions, leaders fuck up and turn evil.
>"Must be a human thing, celestia could have baked us all alive when ever she wanted for the last 1000 years and she has not been corupted."
Maybe, but my point stands. Humans are not all bad.
>"I beleave him..."Unserprisingly dash says" but fluttershy has already told half the town..."
>brain:Your bucked.
>You:Shuddup brain. You dont have to tell me.
>Dick:Did someone say buck?
>You:FUCK YOU DICK
>Dick:Ok ok sorry. Help me out here, brain. Nop0ny will want to buck a human after this gets out...
>Brain:What... what if...
>You:I know what your thinking...
>Dick:Im cool with being a stalion cock...
>Together:Deal.
Twilight, this is bound to start a riot for my removal... i only see 2 ways out. For me to leave, or to become a p0ny.
>"An excuse to learn transfiguration? Count me in. SPIKE! Get the transfiguration book!"
>The little dragon wodles in, huge book over his head and hands it to twi
>Fuck you blew him off 2 days ago
>Dead stare as he walks out
As twi flips through the pages, dash speaks up
"But... What if i don't want him to be a pony? I love anon for who he is..."
>Is the word love tossed arround here more then at home? Or is dis bitch srs?
>As she tackles you onto the couch and starts licking you, you have your answer
>Dick dont you dare-
>Dick: Sorry, bro. Too late.
>Twilight giggles
>"Ill leave you two alone"
>"Come on twi, it will be fuuuuunnnnn!"
>dash really wants this...
>"Sigh, why not?"
>Dash has secuessfuly exicuted RapeFace.exe
>Twi grabs some wine as dash bites and paws at your pants
>Let her strugle because mother fucking D'awwww
>Twi sits down and hands you a wine bottle
>Glasses for herself and dash
>ImOkWithThis.jpg
>Chug as twi's horn glows
>Clothing phases out of existance
>Brain: Note to self, don't fuck with twilight.
>Dick: But i can fuck her still rite?
>You: SHUDDUP
>Dash downs her drink and rolls over onto her back, wings spread acrost the with of the coutch
>Bedroomeyes.gif