April Fools' 2021

 Shinju-sama watches over us - 1

 Today, yet again, girls who gather in Shinju-sama's garden pass through the tall gates with heroic smiles.

 Their innocent minds and bodies are adorned with uniforms of their ages. They walk graciously so as not to ruin their clothes.

 The private Sanshuu Academy. This is... the girls' garden.

 [Shinju-sama watches over us]

 [Sanshuu Academy - Schoolyard]

 Yum: Agyaaah! I am late, I am late!

 Tou: A moment, if you would?

 Yum: Eek!?

 Tou: You are a first-year, yes? Your skirt, collar and even face are quite disorderly.

 Yum: Y-You are from... the student council! Mrgrgr, bghbgh, my face, keeh.

 Tou: Praying to Shinju-sama with a crooked face would be disrespectful. There, all done. Have a good day.

 Yum: Have a... good day.

 [1st year classroom]

 Sek/Kar: Yumiko-san!

 Yum: Sekka-san from the photography club and Karin-san from the newspaper club. A good day to you. Might I be of assistance?

 Kar: Yeah. You see, we would like you to visit the Lily Mansion with us right now.

 Yum: Could you mean the student council... the Devil Lily Council? But why?

 Sek: Heh heh heh. You're a sharp one, aren't you? I happened to catch this on film, you see.

 Yum: T-This is a scene of me getting my face rearranged by Mimori-sama this morning!

 Sek: It's a great photo, so I want to get permission from Mimori-sama to put it up for display at the academy festival.

 Yum: Eeh!? That is impossible. Impossible, I tell you!

 Kar: Why? The two of you seem so close you're almost like "sisters" here, it's a wonderful photo!

 Yum: Where!? Mimori-sama... she must have thought me a student slovenly in both attire and countenance...

 Kar: Of course not! Mimori-sama is a germophobe, didn't you know? Yet she personally rearranged your face!

 Sek: She still doesn't have a "little sister". Yumiko-san, this might be your chance.

 Yum: Eh... Chance? But... is sisterhood really that important?

 Kar: An upperclassman swears to take care of an underclassman and they exchange vows of sisterhood. This tradition made the Sanshuu Academy very popular!

 Sek: There are a lot of single girls like me and Yumiko, but every girl dreams to be in a sister relationship.

 Kar:  There were a lot of rumours recently that she became the little sister of Great Gigantes, lady Mullet.

 Anz: ...

 Yum: That was Iyojima Anzu-san... Wait, wait, no!  Mullet? Great... what? What is a Gigantes?

 Sek: The nickname of a student council member, duh? Yumiko-san, were you not even aware of that?

 Sek:  The top three older sisters of the student council are Knee Fetishida, Kiryu Shizuka-sama the Capybara. [1]

 Kar: There are a lot of theories going around, that she's fond of knees or that honey might be her favourite dish.

 Sek: Great Gigantes, Kohagura Natsume-sama the Mullet. [2]

 Kar: Her threatening voice and nihilistic charms have earned her a lot of hardcore fans.

 Sek: And then there's Mimori-sama's big sister, Tosa Chinensis the Swordmaster. [3]

 Kar: She is apparently a rather mysterious lady, and the only thing known about her is that she hails from Tosa.

 Yum: I fully understand that you are trying to avoid some kind of danger, but your abuse of the Japanese language is making things even worse...

 Sek: And below them are their sisters, "buds", so to speak. The second years have "en udon" added to their big sister's name.

 Sek: The first years, "little sister’s buds", are called "en udon petite soelurp". [4]

 Yum: Udon... Petite soelurp... Legal issues are quite difficult, huh... Haah...

 Kar: Oh? But Tosa Chinensis, Renge-sama... Has the same last name, Miroku. Yumiko-san, are you blood-related!?

 Yum: Huh? No, it must be a coincidence. I have no ties to her... Yes, none at all.

 Sek: One hell of a last name to be a coincidence but I guess we'll go with this story setting this time. Okay.

 Yum: Do not call it a setting! I loathe that word so much!
---
Notes:
The scenario puts twists on the terminology from MariMite.
1 - Marimite original: Rosa Foetida. Original pun: Hiza Fetida (pun on “knee fetish”, as well as hiza and pizza sounding similar)
2 - Marimite original: Rosa Gigantea. Original pun: Dos Gigantes (“dos” is a made-up Monster Hunter prefix meaning “great”, as well as a pun on “dosu no kiita koe” (threatening voice)
3 - Marimite original: Rosa Chinensis. They explain the pun themselves so I have nothing more to add.
4 - Marimite originals: “en bouton” (bud) and “en bouton petite soeur” (little sister’s bud).



 Shinju-sama watches over us - 2

 [Sanshuu Academy - Inner Garden]

 Kar: The Demon Lily Council feels so special, being gathered in a separate building from school. As expected.

 Anz: Good day to you. Do you have business in the Lily Mansion?

 Sek: Anzu-san, Great Gigantes' en udon! How nice to meet you here. Could you introduce us to Tosa Chinensis' en udon?

 Anz: Yes, I wouldn't mind...

Tou: This is tyranny! Dear sisters, you are bullies!

Yum/Tou: Agh!

Kir: Wouldja look at that... What a tumble. Ya fine over there?

Yum/Tou: Ugh... Agh...

Nat: She got crushed by Mimori's mountains. How... tragic. Hm? Anzu?

Anz: Dear sister... what is this? What was Mimori-sama raising her voice about?

[Demon Lily Council]

Ren: The Demon Lily Council meant to play Romeo and Juliet at the academy festival, but Mimori objected to that.

Sek: Eh? But doing a stage play with all you sounds so wonderful! Why would she object?

Tou: I do not object to the stage play! I object to collaborating with male students from other schools for it!

Kar: Eh, males!?

Wak: The Tennokami boys' school and our Sanshuu Academy are on good terms, so we were going to have a collaboration project.

Tou: To let males into a long-standing garden of maidens, stand on the same stage as them, and make me the heroine to boot is too far gone to be a joke!

Ren: As if you have a right to speak, lacking even a little sister. If you want to say something, bring your little sister already.

Tou: Grh... Then allow me to introduce her. I've been concealing this until now, but this girl is my little sister!

Yum/Nat/Kir: Huh!?

Ren: This girl? Hmm, I see. So, what is her name? Her class?

Tou: T-That's... Come on, don't space out like that. Introduce yourself to our sisters.

Yum: Eh... Um, M-Miroku Yumiko. Miroku as in "Maitreiya Buddha" and Yumiko as in... "child at the evening sea".

Ren(Nat): A wonderful surname. (A wonderful name.)

Kir: Hmm... Yumiko-san, ya have some lovely knees. Where did the two of you meet? How did you start off?

Ren: Good question, Knee Fetishida. Answer us, Mimori. Surely this is not your first meeting?

Tou: T-That's... Urgh...

Sek: If you excuse me, Tosa Chinensis, this is not the first meeting between Mimori-sama and Yumiko-san. I have this picture as proof.

Nat: Oh? They seem to know each other indeed. That was rude of us. So, where is your proof of sisterhood?

Yum: Eek! P-P-P-Proof!?

Tou: Don't put Yumiko on the spot like that! I was just about to pass her the proof!

Tou: Come on, Yumiko. Take this Lohan statue and officially become my little sister.

Yum: ...There is a lot I would like to say first, but allow me to refuse.

Tou: Wh-!? I-If you don't like the Lohan statue... Botamochi should work.

Yum: No need for botamochi either.

Tou: Ah!?

Ren: Looks like you got turned down, Mimori.

Anz: Yumiko-san, why? I think that was a good deal...

Yum: But that was so... haphazard. I have something called pride, you know...

Yum: It is true that I admire Mimori-sama, but I have no intention of becoming a straw for a drowning woman to clutch at.

Wak: Well said.

Nat: But it's not as if you dislike Mimori, right? How about this, then...

Nat: If Mimori manages to make Yumiko-chan her little sister before the academy festival, she won't have to play Juliet. And if that happens...

Nat: Yumiko-chan will stand on the stage as Juliet in place of her newfound big sister Mimori.

Yum: Eh? Eeeeeh!?


 Shinju-sama watches over us - 3

 [Sanshuu Academy - Courtyard]

 Sek: Well that was a mess, but on these conditions Yumiko-san is the winner.

 Kar: That's right. All you have to do is not accept the Lohan statue from Mimori-sama if you don't like it.

 Wak: W-Wait! Wait, Sonoko! Don't run like that!

 Kar: Hm? What's the noise? That's... Knee Fetishida's en udon and en udon petite soelurp, Sonoko-san?

SON: I hate you, Waka-chan! I don't need this thing anymore!

Wak: Blargh!

Sek: Waaah! That Lohan statue hit Wakaba-san straight in the face! That must hurt...

Kar: What are you doing, Sonoko-san!? You do understand that returning the Lohan statue is the same as divorce, right?

SON: Leave me alone! *sob*

Wak: Sonoko!

SON: Go away... Don't touch me. Waka-chan, you'll never understand my... *cough*

Yum: What could have happened to Sonoko-san? She seems to be feeling extremely unwell...

Sek: She's a sickly girl who spends a lot of time in the hospital. But she has 21 fairy, she should be fine.

Yum: What might you... even be talking about?

Kar: The two of them are actual cousions, so Wakaba-sama always protects Sonoko-sama... It's so wonderful.

Wak: Come on, Sonoko... Let's go to the hospital. I already told the Kendo club I'd be taking time off, don't worry about anything.

SON: Mind your own business, Waka-chan! That's what I hate so much about you! You always sacrifice yourself for my sake...

Wak: Isn't that natural? You're my precious little sister, and just a child at that...

SON: Stop treating me like a child! Rrrrrgh! Mankai!

Wak: Ah, Sonoko! If you keep using it, your body will-

SON: Stop using me as an excuse for your wimpiness! Stupid Waka-chan!

Wak: H-How could you... Sonoko, that's mean... Sonoko... *sob* *weep*

Hin: Poor thing... Nogi Wakaba-san, are you alright?

Kar: Ah! That's the founder of the Demon Lily Council, the principal of the academy revered as the Lily Mother, Sister Uesato!

Yum: I appreciate the explanation, slipshod as it might be.

Hin: She returned your Lohan statue, I see. But worry not.

Hin: I'll comfort you, affectionately...

Wak: Right... Eh? Affectionately?

Hin: Now, let us go to the principal's room. I will give you a deep, thorough... ear cleaning. Heeheehee.

Wak: Uh... Okay.

Yum: Hey! She just took her away, are we truly okay with this?

Anz: The principal aside, I am really worried about Wakaba-sama and Sonoko-san... Why at such a time?

Kar: Were you watching too, Anzu-san? The Demon Lily Council elections are almost here, a scandal would be terrible.

Anz: Yeah... All of them should advance by default if no new candidates appear, but if this blunder becomes public...

Tam: People who wish to challenge their candidacy might appear! Ohohoho!

Kar: S-Sister!? Ah, the scent of a scoop must've led you here...

Yum: Eh? If she is your big sister, then she must be from the newspaper club... Could it be that you mean to write an article on Wakaba-sama's scandal!?

Tam: The ever-passionate sisters bound by both a Lohan statue and blood had a fallout! This is tremendous news!

Tam: Many aim for the position of Wakaba-sama's sister, and some are bound to try and worm their way into the Demon Lily Council using this opportunity.

Anz: How could you...

Tam: Anzu-san, your big sister is a third-year, and by default you would become one of the student council members. How do you feel about the fact?

Anz: I have no intention of staying in the Demon Lily Council after my sister graduates...


Shinju-sama watches over us - 4

 [Sanshuu Academy - Courtyard]

Tam: You have no intention of running for candidacy... Is that true!? Does Great Gigantes know of this!?

Anz: No... And I don't think my sister would say anything even if she knew...

Aka: Then maybe I'll run for the position. Position of the new Great Gigantes.

Yum: Wah! Who are you, all of a sudden!?

Tam: Gos Akana, known also as Crab Belly... Akamine Yuuna-san, the songstress of the Sanshuu Academy!

Yum: Crab Belly trying to become a Mullet... Crab, belly, mullet... I have no idea anymore. Haah.

Aka: Aaah! Udon udon udon udon udon udon udon udon udon udon.

Kar: What a beautiful voice! That was a wonderful opera!

Aka: I was aiming to become Natsume-sama's little sister since before Anzu-san even enrolled, you know? Well... she turned me down, many times.

Aka: But if I become the next Great Gigantes, we will be tied to each other even after she graduates... Heh heh heh.

Aka: It's not a bad deal for you either, Anzu-san. I wouldn't mind becoming your new sister after Natsume-sama graduates.

Anz: ...Allow me to decline.  My one and only sister is Kohagura Natsume-sama.

Sek: Well said! That was cool, Anzu-san. A resolute statement has a lot of power when it comes from a pretty girl.

Aka: But I caught you stealing glances at Kusunoki Mebuki-san from the bayonet club, Anzu-san, you know that?

Anz: Huh!?

Aka: Your cheeks were flushed when you looked at Aya-san during worship, the same happened with Utano-san from the gardening club and the workout club president...

Anz: Waaah! B-But still, my big sister is... The only one I've accepted a Lohan statue from is Natsume-sama!

Yum: What happened to persuasive pretty girls...? Anzu-san was a surprisingly fickle woman, huh.

Aka: Heh heh, see? So would you really object to me becoming your new sister? Want to touch my abs? Come on.

Suz: Excuse my in-chirp-ruption. Allow me to poke my beak into this matter.

Tam: Aah!? You're Kagajou Suzume-san from the gossip association!

Sek: That's a nasty association.

Suz: It's just as Akamine-san says. And besides, I have it on good authority that Natsume-sama had another person of interest aside from her little chirp-ster.

Anz/Sek/Kar: Eh!?

Yum: W-What could you mean!?

Tou: If you want to know, become my little sister!

Yum: Eek!? M-Mimori-sama!?

Tou: This Lohan statue in exchange for the truth behind Great Gigantes!  Come on, Yumiko, accept it!

Yum: I told you I would not accept it, did I not!? I refuse means I refuse!

Uta: Be quiet, would you!? Do not raise such a ruckus near the gardening club's fields! You're scaring the tomatoes!

Aka: Agh... Here comes the gardening club president. Please excuse our behaviour, Shiratori Utano-san.

Uta: All I've been hearing from you is endless rumour spinning... Gossiping about other people like that is unbecoming!

Suz/Tam: S-Sorry...

Uta: I will tell you about Great Gigantes. It happened when I was weeding the chapel...

Yum: Are you going to tell us the story? Okay...

Nat: Who cares about Shinju... Faith won't stop people from loneliness... As if gods even exist in this world... Hm?

Its: O-Onee-chan, you're eating way too much! You'll get scolded for ordering udon to a chapel!

Fuu: *slurp* What can I do? A maiden in her growth period is bound to get hungry easily.

Nat: Oh... Ooh... Oooh...

Fuu: Hm? Oh my... There was somebody here? Forgive me, I'll be done soon... *slurp*

Nat: So you... are god!

Uta: And so Great Gigantes had her heart stolen by another student and for the first time in her life kneeled, holding her head...

Suz/Sek/Kar: Okay, no, that is simply way too weird!


Shinju-sama watches over us - 5

 [Church]

 Uta: There, take a look. The two of them are yet again having a tryst in the chapel today, are they not?

 Nat/Fuu/Its: Heeheehee, hahaha!

Yum: I am afraid there are three of them...

Anz: D-Dear sister, you were doing this in secret from me... Ugh... How awful of you...

Nat: Say, Fuu... Once we graduate, the three of us should live together... at the sea. The bounty of the sea will see us fulfilled.

Fuu: That's... impossible. My dream is to become an udon chef in the future. For Itsuki's sake, too...

Its: I-I don't really wish for that...

Nat: Ah... Fuu, you have udon stuck to your cheek.

Fuu: Ah, no!

Nat: W-Why...

Fuu: Because Shinju-sama watches over us...

Its: Uh... I'm... watching too. You know, just wanted you to know...

[Inner Garden]

Sek: I can't believe it, we're getting the title drop here!?

Kar: Is that really the problem? That it's watching!? And what are you even talking about!?

Suz: The relationships at this academy are every bit as thoroughly... sweet as they are mysterious and chaotic.

Suz: Have a gander, everyone, at Shizuku-san and SHIZUKU-san over there, the two sisters in one...

Shi: Sister Shizuku, you are so... Teehee. So lovely... Teehee.

SHI: Oh no, Shizuku, that would be you... Ohohoho. How adorable you are... Ohohoho.

Tam: Look at the person from the cybernetics club over there. She's succeeded in creating the ideal little sister recently and is elated about the fact.

Chi: Hohohohoho! Oh, how lovely you are. Come now, my sister. Yearn for me and obey me!

Tak: *creak* Sister Chikage. I, Yuuna, am your... humble... sister... beep.

Yum: Eeeeh... Do you not think those two are a bit too abnormal?

Meb: Allow me to ask in return then: is there any problem with that?

Aya: No matter how abnormal they might be, does it really matter as long as the two of them are happy?

Mit: Precisely so. Had I not been there for sister Utano, she would've taken in some cutesy vegetable as her sister.

Uta: N-No... I always say that you're the only one for me, Mito... An eggplant wouldn't do!

Meb: And Aya is the only one for me... Promise you'll never return my Lohan statue, okay?

Aya: Of course, sister Mebuki. I carry that statue with me day and night, never parting with it.

Yum: Ah... I see. Now that I take a look, the bonds of sisterhood are precious and joyful indeed... Ah!

Tou: Is that not so? Are you not jealous? You want a sister now, don't you, Yumiko?

Yum: N-No, I absolutely don't!

Tou: Grh! How stubborn. But so be it. Yumiko, right now you just need to attend practice for the play.

Yum: Practice for the play? But I have no intention of becoming your sister, Mimori-sama...

Tou: It won't do to cause others problems for personal reasons. Regardless of who takes the lead role, we both need practice.

Yum: That is... Wait, why are your hands on my waist!? Unhand me, please!

Tou: There's a ball scene in the play. Are you inexperienced with dance? Fine then, I'll teach you... One, two, three...

Tou: Tell me if my grip is too tight. I have no intention of harming you, Yumiko.

Yum: Okay...

Yum: (What should I do? Mimori-sama is so kind. And so beautiful, too... What are these emotions?)

Sek: My, look at Yumiko-san... She's not exactly displeased with this, is she? Heh heh heh.

Kar: Yeah, this might just be a lucky brea-

Anz: Waaaaah! Dear sister, you wuthering chaos!

Nat: Waaah! What happened!? What's wrong!

Anz: Dear sister, you are a cheater! Even though you've given me a Lohan statue!

Aka: Natsume-sama! Make me your sister instead of Anzu-san! Give me your Lohan statue!


Shinju-sama watches over us - 6

 [Several days later]

 [Demon Lily Council]

 Ren: Ah, how could this happen!? Mimori has run away! Search for her, all of you!

 Kir: The boys from the Tennokami Academy should be coming to meet us soon, too... Drat!

 Wak: Did she... hate it enough to run away? Surely she's not thinking of anything dangerous...

 Yum: Please stop this! Mimori-san would never. She even took practice seriously...

 SON: Yumiko-san, you're so serious. Could it be that you...

 Nat: Yumiko-chan, do you love Mimori?

 Yum: ...Yes. I love her, in all of her beauty, pride and stubbornness.

 Nat: Thank you. All of us treasure and love her deeply, too...

 Ren: Yes... So we want you to support her however you can... as her little sister.

 Yum: Yes... I shall play Juliet. For Mimori-sama... No, for my dear sister!

 [Courtyard]

 Tou: Haah, haah... Not funny. Why would I ever meet them when it hasn't even been decided yet... Eek!

 ???: Whoops, my bad. You fine there?

 Tou: !?

 Yum: There she is, everyone! Mimori-sama with some male I've never seen!

 Tou: A-A-A-A boy! Noooo!

 ???: The hell was that!? I'm not a boy! Don't lump me in with those pansies!

 Tou: Eh... I-I'm sorry! Then... are you a... female?

 Yuuzou: Don't be dumb. I am a MAN! The great boss of Tennokami, Yuuki Yuuzou!

 Tou: Y-You are? I am... Tougou Mimori from the Demon Lily Council...

 Yuuzou: Tougou... So you're Juliet, then? Nice to meetcha, I'm Romeo!

 Tou: Aaaah... I love him.

 Yum/Ren/Nat: Whaaaaaaaat!?

 Yuuzou: You can count on me for acting or whatever. Follow me, Tougou!

 Tou: Yes... If it's for you... If it's for you, I'll even become a man!

 Yum: N-No waaaay!

 Wak: What is... even going on?

 [Sonoko's room]

 Sum: Eeh... What's with this novel... This is a complete mess.

 Son: This school drama was explosively popular in the past. You don't like it?

 Gin: The question of liking it aside, is there even a school like that!?

 Sum: Of course there couldn't be one... It's just a bad joke. I hope so much that it's just a bad joke.

 Son: But I want to attend that school! I want to call someone my dear sister!

 Gin: Hmm... I guess it's kinda neat that upperclassmen and underclassmen are like sisters. Sounds fun.

 Sum: If you want sisters, then there are plenty of honourary Inubouzaki sisters. Isn't that good enough?

 Son: Mino-san is one of them, right?

 Gin: Ohoho, that I was!

 Son: And besides, everyone in the Hero Club is like a big family of sisters.

 Sum: And besides, it does watch over us already.

 Gin: Uh-huh. It sees this, sees that, sees everything about us!

 Son: The real Shinju-sama really does watch over us, around the clock!

 Gin/Sum/Son: Hahaha!