One with the bat

Written by Batfag

>Be Anon, sitting in a bar with your Bat Pony friend
"bleh bleh bleh!"
>You cock an eyebrow up at your only friend's antics
>"Is that the best impression of Dracula you got?"
>He looks at you and shrugs
>"I thought it would come naturally to a vampire horse... Or whatever you guys are."
"Bat ponies."
>You roll your eyes and top a finger on the bar counter
>"Another whiskey please!"
>You got along fine with the Lunar Guard, mostly because they were more like humans than their less monsterous counterparts
>They were quite a funny species of ponies actually.
>The slamming down on the bar counter brought you back to the bar, and the whiskey too
"So Anon, how has been living in the castle?"
>You perk up at your friend's question
>"It could be better, Celestia's day guard still treats me like shit after I shaved their captain's fur off"
>The Bat Pony laughed to himself and looked at the clock above the bar counter
"Oh shit Anon, way past curfew for ya. Guards might be looking for you-
>He is interrupted by the bar door slamming inwards and three day guards rushing in
"Anon, get back to the castle now!"
>The bar was on the other side of Canterlot, mostly inhabited by Bat Ponies, who seemed to really like you
>Some of the Bat Ponies from the guard stood up, as if to defend you
>You were a little frightened.
>Your friend steps off his stool and starts trotting forward to the leader of the trifecta of day guards
"I suggest you move along."
>Nyoh shit nigger what are you doing
>You remember that your best friend is the captain of the lunar guard and Princess Luna's personal bodyguard
>Nothing to worry about then, right?
"Step out of our way, bat. We need to take curfew breaker here back to his room."
>This guy is rather bossy
>You stand up and look around you as all the different bat ponies get up and swarm around you
>They are trying to protect you
>You are one with the bat
>Bat-tastic
"And I will ask you one more time, to please move along.We wouldn't want things to get messy around here."
>Oh shit Captain Nightshade is stepping up his game on this one
>The leader of the three day guard looks around the bar and sees all the the other bat ponies staring at him
>Their looks range from contempt to pleading eyes
>They may look like monsters to some, but they sure as hell are cute.
"Fine. Don't let us catch you though. We'll be looking."
>The three then stalked away into the night
>The bat ponies resumed their activities and laughter after the three normals left.
>You are now one with the bat
"Anon? You okay?"
>Captain Nightshade looks up at you with a bemused expression
>Apparently you said that out loud
>"Yeah I'm fine. Those guys are fucking jerks though."
"Heh, they sure are. C'mon I'll let you stay at my place for tonight."
>He steps out into the night and you follow, but not before waving bye to the bat ponies in the bar
>They wave back
>One with the bat...
"You coming Anon, or are you just going to stand there looking dumbfounded all day"
>Cheeky shit calling you out in a bar
>You quickly pullout and catch up to him, ponies trot quickly on four legs
>At least he's not flying
>You catch up to him by fast-walking
>It looks weird, but it works in its own way
>"So where do you live anyway?"
>You just decided to spark conversation
>He casually looks at you
"I live near the castle, in the Nobel district. LUna insisted that I was to stay close to the castle should she ever need me."
>You nod along and hum
"I can't deny Princess Luna's request. It wouldn't sit right with me, y'know?"
>You suspect that Nightshade loves Luna to a degree, and this only proves your point
>You smile as you reach with your arm and poke his wing
>It quickly extends, revealing it in all its' leatheriness, but it retracts just as fast
>A blush appears on the Captain's face as he looks at you
"What was that for?"
>Your smile keeps up
>"You like Luna don't you?"
>He dodges the question
"Oh well look at that, we're here!"
>Sure enough, you are now standing in front of a medium sized home that looks well kept from the outside
>A firefly lantern hangs from a post lighting up a small flowerpot with a black rose underneath
>You interpret it as a remembrance that Firefly was an amazing show that didn't deserve to die
>You turn back to the Captain, who is holding the door open patiently for you
>You enter his house and find yourself surrounded by beautiful works of art, from statuettes to paintings
"I got a nice little art collection."
>yeahright.gif
"Daddy's home sweetheart!"
>You look at the Captain with a confused expression
>You hear the sound of hooves on hard wood running towards you two
>You turn to the Captain just in time to see him get attacked by a small... Bat Filly?
"Daddy!"
>The Captain lifted a small Bat Filly off of himself.
>A very excited one at that.
>She quickly looked up at you, and her excitement seemed to grow tenfold.
"Is this Anonymous, daddy?"
>So god damn adorable you just wanted to squeeze the fuzzball
"Yes sweetie, this is Anonymous. Anonymous, meet Speckle."
>You waved to the little pony
>She decided that waving was not good enough, so she hugged your leg
>These bats are attracted to you like moths to cotton
>Not like you minded, you found Bat Ponies to be more welcoming than regular Equestrians
>It helps that there is no quarrel with eating meat. They have fangs for a reason after all.
>You are brought back to the real world by a poke to your cheek

>Look look down to find that Speckle has crawled up to your chest, somehow, and has reached out a hoof to your face
>Adorable as fuck
>You lightly scratch her behind the ear while supporting her with your other arm, to which she gladly accepts
>She closes her eyes and leans into your hand
"Heh. She really likes you Anon."
>Nightshade is sitting there with a bemused expression.
"How come You never tried that on the day guards. They might've calmed down."
>You laughed.
>"I doubt they'd let me. They'd probably charge me with assault or something."
"Probably. Oh! I think She's asleep."
>You look down to the filly who's ear you are scratching, to find that she is indeed asleep with her eyes closed.
"Lay her down on my back. I'll let her sleep with me tonight."
>He points to a comfortable looking couch next to a fireplace that is conveniently lit.
"That's gonna be your sleeping spot for now. See you in the morning, Anon."
>You wave goodnight as he trots off with his daughter in tow.
>She really was fuckin' adorable with the fluffy ears and all.
>Nightshade also has rather fluffy ears,but you never said anything.
>You wonder why the bat ponies all have fluffy ears as you lay on the couch.
>You quickly fall asleep, not worrying about the curfew.
>You wake up
>You feel something soft and fluffy laying on your stomach
>You prop your head up on the couch armrest and look at the invader
>It's Speckle the filly
>She looks so peaceful that you don't want to disturb her
>You lay your head back down on the pillow enjoying the warmth of the fluffy filly
>Hours pass as you and Speckle lay on the couch until finally Captain Nightshade comes out
>he looks at you and blinks
"Did you grab Speckle from my bed?"
>You wouldnt steal the filly away from her father. She was busy doing that herself.
>"No, I just woke up earlier and here she was on my stomach. You're all a bunch of overgrown cats."
>Captain Nightshade blinks at you before returning his gaze to his filly
>"Naw, just leave her alone. Im sure she's pretty comfortable."
>In reality, you wanted her to stay there and provide your stomach with warmth.
>Bat ponies really were the closest things to cats in Equestria
>Nightshade goes off to make breakfast for the two of you
>You fall back asleep, relishing in the warmth of Speckle
>You poke an eye open at the sound of the dinner bell.
>You let out a grunt as the filly that was once sitting peaceful, decided to use your stomach as a launch pad.
>You here a sound that sounded like a squeak, but it was much higher in pitch.
>It was more like a continuous scree...
>You followed the source of the noise until you hit the kitchen, where a distressed looking Nightshade sat.
>Speckle sat on the other end of the table with her mouth partially open.
>Her eyes were locked onto a food item on her plate.
>Bacon
>Sweet fucking Jesus
>Glorious, tender ,fattening ,diabeetus ,bacon!
>You noticed that a somewhat larger plate was laid out for you.
>The plate consisted of two pancakes with syrup and butter, bacon, and a fried egg.
>You walked over to the distressed stallion and hugged him, much to his confusion
"A-Anon? What are you doing?"
>"I haven't had any meat since i've come here, Celestia forced me to eat nuts for protein."
>Nightshade shuddered in your grip, and you let him go.
"I can't imagine what a life without meat would be.... I don't think Speckle really cares right now though."
>You sat down in the undersized chair and proceeded to dig into your food, which was incredibly delicious
>You thanked Nightshade, who was busy scarfing down the egg
>Speckle seemed to have come out of her trance like state and had begun eating, albeit reluctantly
>You had just finished eating when a knock, more or less a pounding, resounded from the front door
>Nightshade quickly stood up, a piece of bacon dangling from his mouth, and hurried to the door.
>You leaned to get a better look when he opened the door.
>It was none other than a disappointed and tired looking Captain of the royal guard, Shining Armor.
>His mane and tail were much shorter than usual, due to anon's shaver attack when Shining first attempted to subdue him
>You heard Shining speak to Nightshade in a stern manner.
"We need to have a talk. Now."
"What do you mean we need to have a talk."
>It was a rhetorical question...
>Yeah, Nightshade means some serious fuckin' business over here.
"What do we need to talk about? Well, first we need to talk about how you took Anon to your house when he was supposed to be at the castle."
>You groaned, not this shit again.
"And, we need to talk about how you bats threatened members of the royal guard."
>That name was literally the only derogatory name for bat ponies, and they really didn't take too kindly to it
"I don't think we have anything to talk about right now. Go tell your sun princess that Anon is staying with me now, and that he's fine."
>You decided it would be best to yell in confirmation.
>"Perfectly fucking dandy over here, shaved horse!"
"See. He's alright."
>You saw Nightshade shrug to Shining
"Now shoo, go along now and circlejerk with your day guard."
>Shining looked as if he was about to retort until he found a door in his face.
"Now that that idiot's out of the way... I can continue eating..."
>Nightshade grumbled to himself as he returned to the table
>Both of you groaned when his daughter started "Screeing" after she finished eating.
>You wondered what it meant.
>"Say... Nightshade. What is your daughter doing?"
"It's a phase all bat ponies go through when we are young. It's supposed to signify the beginning of puberty or something."
>He waved a hoof dismissively
>"Do you mind if I try to break it? Because it's starting to get really annoying."
"Oh sure, go ahead. I can't blame you anyways."
>He chuckled
>You picked Speckle up and held her in your arms
>You started scratching behind her ears, and she shook her head
>She looked up at you
>She started moving into your hand and made a much softer, much quieter scree.
"Wow. That works, Anon. you're great with foals!"
>"Uh yeah, I guess I am. too bad i can't have one of my own."
>You really would've liked to be a father of a child.
>Now you're in ponyland with no human female and you arent a pony.
>You can't fuck anything and have a child
>Maybe if you were a pony you'd fuck a bat pony and have a fluffy bat foal
>Bat foals are definitely on your list of things to hug.
>Maybe you could adopt a bat foal
>Yes...
>You look back down and see that Speckle is looking up at with wide eyes
>Her screeing sound has stopped
>You realize that you have stopped scratching her ears
"Can you put me down please?"
>She sounds a bit uncomfortable in your arms.
>You put her down and brush off the bat fur that has clung to your suit
"You probably should go talk to Celestia about what happened, Anon."
>You look over to Nightshade, who is now washing the dishes
>"Yeah, probably."
"I can get one of my guards to come with you if you'd like."
>"It won't be a problem."
"Alright well, you better get moving, cause I think Shiny is getting pissed."
>"Yeah, see you later. Thanks for letting me stay the night."
"No problem"
>You walked out the door and was hit by a bombardment of sunlight
>You raised your arm to block the sunlight
>There was nothing wrong with it, it was just that you liked the night more than the day
>You wonder how Luna would react if you said that
>You'll find out soon, after all...
>You have a castle to walk to.
>You soon arrive at the entrance of the castle
>The guards open the doors upon seeing you
>You enter the throne room and see that sunbutt is sitting upon her throne reading a book
>The book is titled "How to court Alicorn's: a unicorn guide"
>You can hear her laughing about something, probably the book. You couldn't tell.
>You jump as the throne room doors shut behind you with a loud SLAM
>Celestia looks up at you casually and chuckles to herself
>She then dons a serious face
"Anon, why were you out past your curfew yesterday?"
>Shit. Fucking horse knows what you did.
>"Well, I was out at a bar with Captain Nightshade busy getting drunk when three of your guards came in and demanded that I be brought to the castle."
>She cocks an eyebrow and frowns at you.
>"The ones I sent. Please refrain from cursing."
"Yes and fuck you, let me finish explaining."
>She sighs.
"So. Nightshade and all the other off duty night guards stood up and basically told them to get the fuck out, cause they be threatening me."
>Her face flashes to angry for a brief moment.
"Yes well. If you had come back instead of staying at Nightshade's home i'm sure we wouldn't have had this problem."
>Princess Celestabitch decides to lecture you on why alcohol of all drugs is bad for your health
>You feel like a child so you just decide to walk away
"Anon! Where are you going?!"
>"Nope."
>You held up a middle finger as you moon walked out of the throne room.
>"Nope nope nope nope"
>You shut the doors behind you and started walking back to Nightshade's house
>The guards looked befuddled
>You arrive back at Nightshade's home and knock on the door
>He quickly answers the door and steps aside for you to enter
"So, uh. How'd it go?"
>"I basically told her to go fuck herself and left."
>You shrugged
>It wasn't a big deal, right?
"Oh my Luna."
>It was a big deal.
"Sweet Luna, Anon."
>A real big deal
"I can't even"
>He suddenly bursts out laughing
>What?
>"What?"
"I knew that you would do something like this to Celestia, and it's fucking hilarious!"
>You reel backwards
>Nightshadepls.jpg
>You both sit down at the couch
>Nightshade is still laughing
>Speckle (fug you) is laying down on your lap
>She legitimately loves you or some shit like that
>Nightshade stops laughing and wipes the tears away from his eyes
"Oh Anonymous... You're the greatest human in the world...'
>You were the only human in the world
>You tell him that
"Exactly."
>Oh
>OH
>"Are you homosexual or something, Nightshade?"
"No."
>Well at least you know that he doesn't have the hots for you
>You wouldn't date him anyway
>He's a bat pony
>Now if he were female...
"Anonymous. You're drooling again."
>You wipe the drool away from your mouth and shake your head
>"I tend to do that alot, don't I?"
>You chuckle nervously
"Yeah, A lot more than usual too. You must have a lot on your mind"
>Bat ponies can read minds
>That would be cool, scary, but cool
"No we can't read minds"
>Whatthefugg.gif
>Not cool
>"Okay well. I really don't have anywhere else to go because I pissed the sun princess off!"
>Nightshade turns to you
"Just stay here, we won't mind. Hell, I think Speckle really likes you."
>She's still sleeping on your lap
>"Yeah she does."
>She's really fucking cute you just don't want to interrupt her sleeping time
>She is the god of cuteness with her fluffy ears and tail and stuff
>A big cat
"Anonymous? You don't look so good."
>What?
>You feel fine, just a little lightheaded
>"The castle is a rather long walk I think I'm just tir-"
>Bam
>You're out like a light