XatLenore

Crack Pone

Aug 2nd, 2014
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  1. >You wake up to Crack Pone sitting at the edge of the bed
  2. >The flat you two share is always dirty
  3. >Clothes all over the floor
  4. >You get up from bed and go and sit by her
  5. >"A-Anon I j-just need enough f-for three G's okay? I- I won't ask a-anymore"
  6. >You sigh and take out a couple of bits and hand them to her
  7. >This is the 6th time in the past 3 days she said it was the last time
  8. >You know she can't survive without it anymore
  9. >You can't stand to see her during withdrawal
  10. >She hugs you and says "Y-you're my f-ff-..Ffavourit man!"
  11. "And you're my favorite g'al..."
  12. >Crack Pone gets up and quickly trots out to see her dealer
  13. >The room is a mess
  14. >The hallway is a mess
  15. >The life you two share is a mess
  16. _______________________________________________
  17. >The flat is empty for a long time
  18. >Checks time
  19. >She's been out for 4 hours
  20. >Ohsweetjesus.png
  21. >You get up and put on the same thing you wore yesterday
  22. >Proceeds to put on shoes to avoid stepping on any broken glass or needles
  23. >You leave the building
  24. >You know where she'd be
  25. >Same place you met her 2 years ago
  26. >You walk for at least 30 minutes
  27. >Jesus fuck its cold out this time of night
  28. >The broken down arena is in view
  29. >You can tell she's there
  30. >Walking into the arena you see other ponies lying around
  31. >Two ponies are both stoned off their asses and fucking in the corner
  32. >You see Crack Pone lying on the floor with a needle still on her arm near her hoof
  33. >You sigh a bit but you're used to it now
  34. >You slowly take the needle out
  35. >You're close enough to see all her collapsed veins
  36. >You try to ignore it
  37. >You hear one of the ponies who're getting a blowjob on the other side of the room say "Damnit anon, pick up your bitch and leave"
  38. "I'm working on it okay?"
  39. >Yeah.."
  40. >You pick her up in your arms
  41. >Walk the 30 minute walk back home
  42. >She feels warm but thats the only sign she has of being alive
  43. >You put her back to bed when you enter your flat
  44. >You lay her down
  45. >Put a pillow on her back so she doesn't drown in puke
  46. >She starts twitching
  47. "It’s okay, we're home now"
  48. >She hears you, smiles and goes back to sleeping
  49. >You look back at your surroundings
  50. "...Home..."
  51.  
  52. ___________________________________
  53. >Crack Pone has been asleep for 10 hours
  54. >During those 10 hours you've had almost 2 panic attacks every time she'd stop breathing for a while
  55. >This isn't the first time this has happened
  56. >It has happened at least three times a month since you two began living together
  57. >You then remember she hasn't eaten in almost two days
  58. >You instantly stand up from the bed where you've been sitting this whole time
  59. >You hear Crack Pone sit up
  60. >"mm....Anon? Where are you going?..."
  61. "Lie back down. I'm just going to make some food for us"
  62. >You feel some anger growing inside of you remembering all the times you've had to remind her to do human functions like eat, sleep and sometimes even use the bathroom
  63. >She keeps her bruised eyes half closed and mutters out, "mmng..macaroni and cheese..."
  64. >She then falls back down on the bed
  65. >You can't help but smile at her usual request for food
  66. "Anything for you”
  67. >You go into the kitchen
  68. >Piles and piles of dirty dishes in the sink
  69. >Moldy food and crumbs everywhere
  70. >You see a line of ants going from behind the fridge to a crack in the wall
  71. >You open the cupboards and find 1 pack of instant noodles
  72. >Nothing else
  73. >Check fridge
  74. >A half empty can of beer and a bottle of outdated ketchup
  75. "...I had to go shopping anyway"
  76. >You go to the room you shared with Crack Pone to tell her you were going to get food
  77. >She's asleep
  78. >You decide not to wake her
  79. >You put on your jacket, assuming theres a corner store thats open
  80. >Even if there wasn't you'd find her something to eat
  81. >You remind yourself why you're going to bother checking at least 4 stores for mac and cheese
  82. >Because you'd do anything for her
  83. ________________________________________-
  84. >You walk by the crack house/abandoned arena
  85. >You start to slowly remember meeting her in there
  86. >It was two years ago
  87. >A dance was happening to celebrate the many sun calibrations
  88. >She bumped into you carrying shots over to her other friends and spilled some on you
  89. >Without warning she dragged you into the girls bathroom to try and clean it off of you
  90. >You giggle a bit to yourself remembering how panicked she was
  91. >You suddenly start remembering little things about her
  92. >Like how she never gave you her name until the third time you've seen her
  93. >The way she would eat ice cream all messy even though she is a full grown mare
  94. >The way she would wear her hair up in ponytails
  95. >But thats all the things she would do
  96. >Now she eats only noodles
  97. >Now she always has her ragged greasy mane down
  98. >The only thing that hasn't changed about her is how much she loves you
  99. >And if you were honest enough with yourself you still love her just as much
  100. >You reach a store thats open, they are setting Kraft Dinner in the tiny microwavable cups
  101. >You let out a almost girly noise with the delight
  102. >You buy the cup and head home
  103. ________________________________________
  104. >You undo the multiple locks on your door
  105. >You open your door with a bit of struggle from the stuff in front of the door
  106. "I'm home."
  107. >No response
  108. >Nothing out of the ordinary here
  109. >You go to the kitchen and open the stained up microwave
  110. >After the 3 beeps you take it out
  111. >You blow on it, knowing she wont and bring it into your guys's room
  112. >She is asleep still
  113. >She's been asleep for almost 12 hours now
  114. "Wake up, I brought you food."
  115. >Her ears twitched and she grumbled, rolling onto her back and sitting up
  116. >She smiled and took the cup from you
  117. >"None for you, anon?"
  118. "I'm not hungry"
  119. >This was such a lie you are starving
  120. >But you know she needs it more than you
  121. >You two can't afford much food, half of your paycheck goes to her drug habits
  122. >You never say anything about it
  123. >You watch her eat it
  124. >Some of the cream gets on her face
  125. >You chuckle and wipe it off with your thumb
  126. >"Mm? Oh thank you heh heh"
  127. >She keeps eating
  128. >You keep watching her
  129. >She is your favorite sight anyway
  130. >Even though she is battered and bruised
  131. >She is your favorite sight
  132. _______________________________________
  133. >Its 2 in the morning
  134. >Crack Pone slept all day so you knew she would be up all night
  135. >You also knew she'd spend the night getting stoned off her ass
  136. >So you stay up with her to make sure she doesn't overdose
  137. >You two sit on separate sides of a futon
  138. >The first piece of furniture you two ever bought together for this shitty flat
  139. >It has tears and stitches all through it, but it was something to sit on and was too precious to throw away
  140. >In a way it reminds you of Crack Pone
  141. >You look across the futon from the television to Crack Pone
  142. >She is also watching TV as she prepared a needle
  143. >Part of you wants to yell at her for forcing you to stay awake day and night
  144. >At the same time, part of you just wants to smack that needle from her hoof and hold her close
  145. >Hold her for hours
  146. >Hold her for days
  147. >Maybe for months
  148. >Maybe even forever...
  149. >You don't
  150. >You stay on your side of the futon
  151. >You knew if you did that, she'd die
  152. >You knew if you did that she wouldn't handle that kind of withdrawal
  153. >You knew if you did that you wouldn't handle that kind of withdrawal
  154. >You look back to the tv
  155. >You can hear the snap of the elastic she uses to help her find a vein
  156. >Its your least favorite sound
  157. >You're so tired now, its so late
  158. >You haven't slept in days
  159. >Suddenly without warning you're asleep
  160. >You have a nightmare
  161. >The same nightmare you've had ever since you fell in love with Crack Pone
  162. >You wake up suddenly
  163. >Your pupils are smaller and your in a cold sweat
  164. >You look at your surroundings and wonder if you're still having a nightmare
  165. >You turn to see Crack Pone leaning against you
  166. >You feel your eyes water a bit
  167. "Oh my god..."
  168. >You mutter out in relief
  169. >"Excuse me ano-"
  170. >You suddenly hug her close
  171. >Tears roll down your face and get into her mane
  172. >Every time you sniffle you get the scent of her
  173. >Your favorite smell
  174. >But its her smell
  175. >This couldn't be a nightmare if she was there
  176. __________________________
  177. >5:30 a.m
  178. >Crack Pone is gone now
  179. >Physically she's sitting on the futon besides you
  180. >Mentally she was miles away
  181. >she rocked back and forth
  182. >Her thinned mane swayed
  183. >You sigh, a little frustrated
  184. >But you can't help but feel relieved
  185. >You know this is what she does
  186. >This is ALL she does when she gets like this
  187. >This was your chance to clean or get back some of your money from her dresser
  188. >You don't like stealing, but you need money for food
  189. >It was also YOUR money to begin with
  190. >You get up and go to your room
  191. >You make the bed first, as if that'd make your shithole flat any nicer
  192. >You take 10 bits from her drawer and sigh to yourself again
  193. >You've picked up this habit over time
  194. >Now with 10 bits and at least 3 hours of sleep you can go get food
  195. >You come back out to the living room and see Crack Pone on the floor on her side
  196. >She was squirming back and forth a little
  197. >You pick up a cushion, put it on her back so she doesn't drown
  198. >You go to the door to leave
  199. >You stop for a moment
  200. >You hand still on the doorknob
  201. >You turn to look at Crack Pone
  202. >Still on the floor her eyes opened a bit
  203. >She looks over to you and sees you
  204. >It may be due to hallucinations, the fact she wasn't lucid or just a side effect of being so strung out
  205. >But the moment she makes eye contact with you she smiles
  206. >A weak smile but a smile
  207. >She closes her eyes again and her face goes to the normal expression
  208. >You then leave to get food for yourself
  209. _______________________________________________________
  210. >You pick up some sandwiches from a nearby store
  211. >You don't want to walk near that abandoned arena anytime soon
  212. >Each time you walk by and there was a pony in, at least 3 would hustle you for some money
  213. >You don't want to go home yet
  214. >You sit down on the side of the road
  215. >You open your bag and start eating
  216. >ohsweetfuck.png
  217. >Food is amazing
  218. >You scarf it down as if you never ate cucumber sandwiches before
  219. >Truth is, you don't even like them that much but you were so hungry
  220. >You reach into the bag and pull out another one
  221. >A pony walks by and makes a weird face at you harking down sandwiches on the street like you're a psycho
  222. >You don't care
  223. >There is one left
  224. >It hurts not to eat it
  225. >You're saving it for Crack Pone, you know she'll be hungry later
  226. >You stand up and walk home
  227. >On the way you see another pony that often hangs around the crack house
  228. >"Hey anon! You're Crack Pone's boyfriend right?"
  229. "I-...I guess"
  230. >You keep walking
  231. >"Anon where ya goin'?! Lets talk c'mon!"
  232. "I don't really want to"
  233. >"I just wanna ask you something"
  234. "Alright what is it?"
  235. >"Tell Crack Pone I wont be able to pay her for that BJ until next week, ok?"
  236. "...ok..."
  237. >You keep walking
  238. >You weren't sure what he was trying to prove saying that
  239. >Part of you already knew about that junk
  240. >You already knew you could never bring it up to her either
  241. __________________________________________________________
  242. >You're home again
  243. >After unlocking the multiple locks you enter the living room
  244. >Crack Pone was smoking on the futon next to an open window
  245. >She notices the bag in your hand
  246. >"Did my favorite man bring me breakfast?"
  247. "What makes you think whats in here is for you?"
  248. >You answer her half chuckling
  249. >"Wh- Anoooooon!"
  250. "I'm just kidding, here"
  251. >You toss the bag at her
  252. >She has a delayed reaction
  253. >It falls to the ground in front of the futon and picks it up
  254. >"Sandwiches? No macaroni and cheese?"
  255. "You're not tired of that anymore?"
  256. >"Nnnnnnnope!"
  257. >She takes a bite of the sandwich with a smile
  258. >She was clearly high on something, but this was the closest to real Crack Pone she has ever been
  259. >You smile at her and sit down
  260. >You check what she's watching on TV
  261. >Its an early morning reality show about mares with over 7 colts and fillies
  262. >"Wouldn't it be nice to have a little Anon junior running around the house?"
  263. >You ignore this statement
  264. >Every time she was on weed or anything more gentle than heroin or crack she talks about young ponies
  265. >If she loved anything more than drugs it was little filly's
  266. >You think back to the amounts of times she has had breakdowns crying about how she would have been such a good mother if she wasn't on anything
  267. >You think of the times she would try and get clean but instantly go back to coke or meth the next day
  268. "Lets just watch TV together for now ok?"
  269. >She smiled and nodded as she padded the spot on the futon next to her
  270. >You sit by her and put your arm around her and pull her closer
  271. >She feels so sick
  272. >She feels like a walking dead body almost
  273. >This feeling ached your heart and warmed it
  274.  
  275.  
  276.  
  277. >Days pass and you notice Crack Pone is watching more shows about young ponies
  278. >You also notice she's been smoking and shooting up more than usual
  279. >She did this when she was stressed about something
  280. >Crack Pone sits on the edge of your bed hugging herself as if she'd cold
  281. >You come into the room to get a cleaner shirt
  282. "Are you okay?"
  283. >"I- I - I..I...I ha-..."
  284. >She was hard to understand, you knew she was going through withdrawal from something
  285. >Your mind raced wondering what it could be
  286. >If you knew, you would have got it for her in a second
  287. "Whats wrong?! Do you need something?!"
  288. >She starts rocking back and forth
  289. >"O- O...Ox.....Ox.."
  290. "Oxycontin?!"
  291. >She starts nodding slowly
  292. >You rush to her drawer
  293. >You start throwing clothes out to find it easier
  294. >You don't care if you get a needle to the hand as long as you get rid of this suffering she's in
  295. >You notice then as you pull out a case of Oxycontin pills, you suffer with her at times
  296. >You rush towards her, tripping over a pair of pants and falling to the floor making Oxycontin pills scatter
  297. >This makes Crack Pone panic a little from the loud noise
  298. >The panic mixed with the withdrawal made her start to spasm
  299. "FUCK! NO! NOT NOW! I'M NOT READY YET!!"
  300. >You scream as you try and gather up at least 3
  301. >You pick them up and stumble to her
  302. >You instantly put it in her mouth and she manages to swallow
  303. >She is still shaking crazily
  304. >You begin to cry
  305. "No please god..I'm not ready for this yet..."
  306. >You hold her close like you wanted to do that night
  307. >Your sobs began to quiet down into quiet noises
  308. >Suddenly her body goes limp
  309. >You freeze
  310. >Fear covers you
  311. >You're too scared to check her pulse
  312. >You're too scared to check if she'd even breathing
  313. >"....Anon I can't breath"
  314. >Your eyes shoot open and you let her go to pull back and examine her
  315. >she did her usual weak smile, eyes half closed
  316. >She then passed out again
  317. >She was breathing
  318. >You only started breathing again moments after her
  319. ________________________________________
  320. >After the other nights scare, you don't leave Crack Pones side
  321. >You've taken a few sick days to spend more time with her
  322. >You two have spent the days eating noodles and watching reality shows about mares with too many kids
  323. >"...What would our kid look like do you think?"
  324. >She asks as she lies across your lap as you rub her back
  325. >This is your favourite part of her
  326. >Her hoofs can't reach back here so there are less scratches and nicks than the rest of her body
  327. >This part reminds you the most of what she was before the drugs got so bad
  328. >"I'd like it to be a girl...what about you?"
  329. "A girl would be nice"
  330. >You knew you two would never have children, but talking about it made her happy so it made you happy
  331. >"I like the name Trinity...what do you think?"
  332. "I think that's a beautiful name..."
  333. >You weren't paying that much attention to her, you were more so letting her talk
  334. >"Trinity...what kind of pony would she be?"
  335. "Hm?"
  336. >"Anon are you even listening?"
  337. "Uh well....s-sorry."
  338. >"Hmm... I'll forgive you this one time if you add some back scratching to this back rub~"
  339. "heh heh anything for you."
  340. >"You say that a lot...anyway, what kind of pony would Felicity be?"
  341. "Um...an earth one like you?"
  342. >"Ugh thats not what I meant! Would she be nice? A super hero maybe?"
  343. "I think a super hero is a bit far"
  344. >"It could happen, ha ha ha!"
  345. >You can't help but role your eyes
  346. >You start scratching her back and she stretches out
  347. "...I think she'd be on the smaller side, but she'd be cute"
  348. >Crack Pone did a little tired coo in delight
  349. "She's have my hair color and your coat color maybe"
  350. >Crack Pones breathing got heavier; she must be drifting to sleep again
  351. >This ponies fucking sleep cycle tho
  352. "She could grow up to be anything she wants, a teacher, a vet, a doctor..She'd be beautiful like her mother too..she'd laugh every day and be happy"
  353. >but she was asleep
  354. _____________________________________________
  355. >Crack Pone is sleeping beside you
  356. >You think back to the other night when you two talked about children
  357. >You two talked for an hour after she woke up and you remember each time she mentioned what she would name the child, it would change
  358. >She didn't even seem as if she was noticing her mistake
  359. >For now you are just looking at her
  360. >She looks so innocent sleeping
  361. >There was a difference between being passed out and asleep
  362. >For once, she was asleep
  363. >Just asleep
  364. >You wondered what she was dreaming about
  365. >A smile appears on your face as you think of all the wonderful things she could be thinking about
  366. >Your hand reaches out and cups her cheek a little
  367. >The scratches on her face didn't blemish her beauty
  368. >Nothing could happen to her that wouldn't make her any less beautiful to you
  369. >You brush her bangs from her face
  370. "...I love you."
  371. >You whisper to her, you know she can't hear you
  372. >She starts to stir in her sleep
  373. >Her eyes lazily open and she looks to you
  374. >"Good morning Anon..."
  375. "No its still nighttime...did I wake you?"
  376. >She weakly smiles and nodded a little
  377. "I'm sorry I never meant to."
  378. >She leans in and gives you a quick kiss
  379. >Her lead laid back down on the pillow you two share
  380. >She keeps the smile on her face and rolls over
  381. >You wait at least 30 minutes before going to sleep yourself
  382. _______________________________________________
  383. >You last sick day was used yesterday
  384. >you didn't want to leave Crack Pone home alone
  385. >Deep inside you couldn't wait to get away from such a depressing sight
  386. >Your favorite sight...
  387. >Crack Pone is sleeping on your side of the bed as you get ready for work
  388. >You don't hate your job
  389. >You don't mind going
  390. >Crack Pone can take care of herself
  391. >To an extent however
  392. >You leave her some money to buy herself some food but you know what she's really going to buy with it so you leave some Macaroni and Cheese in the fridge as a surprise
  393. >Your shoes are already on so you leave out the door
  394. >You work as a janitor in a theater where they put on plays
  395. >There is a play coming up soon so the theater is swamped with actors of all ages
  396. >Some even young
  397. >The sight of all the little filly's and colts running around reminded you of someone special
  398. >You smile and keep sweeping
  399. >"Whoa what's wrong with you?"
  400. "Hm?"
  401. >"You got bags under your eyes the size of the moon! What happened!?"
  402. >Its just some random colt
  403. "Oh I uh..don't sleep much"
  404. >"Why not?"
  405. "mm...don't worry about it kid"
  406. >The kid watched him sweep for a while before running off
  407. >You wonder for a while if Trinity would be an actor
  408. >You shake your head to ignore the thought
  409. ________________________________
  410. >You get to go home now
  411. >You don't want to go home just yet but you have no excuse to stay out
  412. >You walk home slowly as possible
  413. >Its cold out but it doesn't bother you
  414. >You unlock the locks and come into your home
  415. >Crack Pone isn't around
  416. >Neither is the money
  417. >You sigh knowing where she is
  418. >You put on a bigger jacket and grab a spare jacket for her
  419. >You stumble out the door and walk back to the abandoned arena
  420. >The smell of weed and meth can be smelled a mile away
  421. >You walk even slower, dreading having to be around those gross addicts
  422. >But you know one of those gross addicts was Crack Pone
  423. >Every day you wish you didn't love Crack Pone
  424. >You hated yourself for this
  425. >You hate yourself for wanting a better life than this
  426. >You hate yourself for being so selfish and keeping Crack Pone from going to rehab to avoid her going through withdrawal
  427. >You hate yourself for how much you love her
  428. >And you do love her
  429. >You love her so much it almost scares you
  430. >The walk to the arena gave you time to think about your relationship with Crack Pone
  431. >You think about that suitcase you have in the closet full of your clothes in-case one day you have the courage to leave
  432. >You think about every time you got scared of her dying from a withdrawal
  433. >You think about how you couldn't live without her
  434. >Her weak smiles, the messy way she eats and how much she sleeps
  435. >You smile a bit, despite the cold
  436. _________________________
  437. >You get to the arena finally
  438. >Its the usual sight, ponies passed out, some giving eachother blowjobs or other sexual things
  439. >You just want to get Crack Pone and leave
  440. >Everything in this building turned your stomach
  441. >Everything except the white-ish and faded yellow mass in the corner of the room
  442. "How many times must I come and get you..."
  443. >You mutter as you walk towards Crack Pone
  444. >She's lying on the ground twitching with needles in both her arms
  445. >You sigh and slowly take them out
  446. >Her twitching made it hard
  447. >You took of one of the jackets and put it over her like a blanket and scooped her up
  448. >She instinctively squirmed a little in your arms but soon tired herself out
  449. >You hold her like a baby now
  450. >You look down at her and notice how torn up she is
  451. >Her teeth are falling out, her mane was faded and greasy
  452. >You bite your lip and take her out
  453. >"mm...anon?"
  454. >You ignore her and focused on bringing her home
  455. >"Sorry..."
  456. >You stop walking for a second and look down at her
  457. >She is looking up at you with big, bloodshot and droopy eyes
  458. >You notice some tears in them the more you look into them
  459. >You two stared at one another for a long time
  460. >The more you looked into her eyes the more you remembered what she looked like before the drugs got a hold of her
  461. >You eyes tear up and you feel a lump in your throat
  462. >You lifted her up a bit more and put her in en embrace
  463. >You could hear her sniffling
  464. >"I'm sorry Anon I'm sorry...Why did this happen...why god..why me"
  465. >She was crying now
  466. >No drug in the world could stop her tears now
  467. >You couldn't go buy her some or even go make her Macaroni and Cheese
  468. >All you can do is hug her
  469. _______________________________________
  470. >You pick her back up
  471. >She's shivering
  472. >You're shivering too
  473. >She's become more lucid now
  474. >Her arms are wrapped around your neck
  475. >You have one arm wrapped around her torso and the other keeping her held up better
  476. >You two dont hold each other often so in a sense this feels a little nice
  477. >You're still a bit angry that after a long days work you can't just go to sleep
  478. >You think of all the times you had to come over to that forsaken place to get her
  479. >You think of how tired your arms always get from having to carry this addict home so often
  480. >You think about how warm she feels clinging onto you
  481. >"Anon...I think I can walk now.."
  482. >You hear her timid voice say to you
  483. >She must be completely lucid now
  484. "..I know...."
  485. >You don't put her down
  486. >You keep her held close, tightly and safe in your arms
  487. >You take comfort knowing perfectly where she is
  488. >Knowing perfectly that, for the most part, she's okay here
  489. >She makes no effort to resist being held for the rest of the walk home
  490. >You think to yourself how much longer you can take this
  491. >How much longer she can take this
  492. >How many days are left until she overdoses or her body shuts down
  493. >You hold her a bit tighter now
  494. ___________________________________________
  495. >You two are home now
  496. >she stumbles to the kitchen
  497. >You sit down on the futon
  498. >You want to take off your shoes but you know you cant
  499. >You scowl at the thought that you can't take off your own shoes in your own house because of that god damn pony
  500. >The lack of sleep must be getting to you
  501. >You often think about the things about Crack Pone that pisses you off
  502. >When you lack sleep, which is usually all the time , you tend to think about it more
  503. >You hate what she's doing to herself and what she's doing to you
  504. >You hate how she talks of having children when you both know her body is too destroyed to handle having another living being in there
  505. >You hate how you can never just sleep, you need to go pick her up from that crack house
  506. >The thought of the things you hate about her flood your brain
  507. >Part of you wants to leave her this very second
  508. >Leave, take your money and go
  509. >You stay seated on that torn up futon
  510. >You don't know why you're staying
  511. >This makes you a bit angrier
  512. >You want to leave but you cant
  513. >Suddenly you hear Crack Pone in the other room
  514. >"Hmm- OH! HA HA! MACARONI AND CHEESE! ANON YOU'RE THE BEST!!"
  515. >You then suddenly remember why you're staying
  516. _________________________________________________
  517. >11:30 P.M
  518. >You're about ready to drop
  519. >Crack Pone is sitting beside you stuffing her face with the Macaroni and Cheese you made her
  520. >She's a quiet eater but she's messy as all hell
  521. >"You don't want any anon?"
  522. >You shake you head
  523. >You lie a lot to her when it comes to if you're hungry or not
  524. >You promise yourself the day you stop seeing her rib cage, you'll start eating normally too
  525. >You still haven't fulfilled this promise to yourself
  526. >She's watching one of those reality shows about mares who didn't know they were pregnant
  527. >"Could you imagine if that happened to us?"
  528. "hm?.."
  529. >"If one day I had a baby out of nowhere?"
  530. "I think you'd get a bit of a fright, wouldn't you think?"
  531. >"If course not, I'd be overjoyed!"
  532. >You ignore her and keep watching with her
  533. >You never liked these shows
  534. >You just watch them for her
  535. >"What would we call our baby if we had one?"
  536. "I thought you already picked out a name."
  537. >She keeps eating her macaroni, not listening to you
  538. >You wait to see if she was going to say anything else
  539. "...what about the name Trinity?"
  540. >"I love that name!" she starts bouncing up and down on the futon
  541. >"My smart man~"
  542. >She gives you a smile and looks back to the tv
  543. >"What do you think she'd be?"
  544. >You look at her for a while before speaking
  545. "...maybe a superhero..."
  546. >You mutter to yourself
  547. >"Ha ha yeah! Totally!"
  548. >She finishes her macaroni and lies back with a sigh
  549. >"mmmm I love ya' Anon"
  550. "....I love you too.."
  551. >You can't stand being in this room with her so you go to bed
  552. ________________________________________________________
  553. >You cant help but notice her talking about kids even more
  554. >You look things up on the Internet to find a way around this
  555. >Crack Pone is asleep on the futon as you search things on the phone you never use anymore
  556. >Would having a kid make her stop what she's doing?
  557. >Would her body handle this kind of thing?
  558. >Either way, you know the empty promise of a baby would break her off drugs somehow
  559. >You go to the living room and shake her gently
  560. >"mm? Anon?"
  561. "Lets go to the hospital tomorrow after work, ok?"
  562. >"Why? Is something wrong?!"
  563. "Nothing's wrong...just...lets try for Trinity maybe?"
  564. >Crack Pone's ears perked up high
  565. >Her faded eyes lightened up
  566. >She jumps up and hugs you
  567. >You know Trinity will never happen but this was the best you could do
  568. >You didn't want her to go to rehab
  569. >You were scared shed find someone else
  570. >She wouldn't have to rely on you
  571. >She wouldn't have a reason to hang out with you so much
  572. ____________________________________
  573. >Your work day seemed shorter than usual but at the same time it seemed to drag forever
  574. >The younger actors all continued to play and rehearse as you swept the stage and acted as a constant reminder of what you must do when you come home
  575. >Once work was done you walk back home, half expecting to have to leave once you enter to go get Crack Pone
  576. >You unlock the locks and come inside
  577. >Unlike most days, Crack Pone was sitting on the futon
  578. >Her mane was in a ponytail but unwashed
  579. >She had on some makeup too
  580. >If you look quick enough she could look remotely like...a normal pony
  581. >"Anon your home! C'mon lets go!!"
  582. >seeing her look so peppy and self aware at this time of the day felt weird
  583. "Heh okay fine"
  584. >You watch her put on a new looking jacket and to two headed out the door
  585. >Outside is almost freezing and the walk to the hospital is 3 miles
  586. >The coldness had no effect on you
  587. >The cold air was masked over from the warmth you felt flowing from Crack Pone
  588. >She stumbles a few times as she walked but other than that she seems normal
  589. >"We're getting a baby~ We're getting a baby~"
  590. >She sung happily to herself
  591. "we're just going to the hospital to see if you can have one, don't get too excited okay?"
  592. >It hurts saying this to her
  593. >She isn't fazed, she simply skips along besides you
  594. >"Oh! Look!"
  595. >She points a hoof to the sky
  596. >You look up to see it's snowing
  597. "huh...cool"
  598. >You two keep walking
  599. >The coldness is getting to you now and you notice Crack Pones hoofs dragging
  600. >Her breathing has hitched
  601. >You knew this walk is too far for her, she hasn't smoked anything all day
  602. >She coughs a little
  603. >She coughs more
  604. >"Do you think our daughter will like snow?"
  605. "...Of course...me you and her will make snow angels and everything together"
  606. >She begins coughing harder
  607. ________________________________________________________
  608. >You notice Crack Pones steps getting slower and slower
  609. >Her head is lowered now and you can hear her heavy breathing
  610. "Do you want me to carry you?"
  611. >"N-no...it's fine..."
  612. >She can barely talk
  613. >You see the marks in the snow from how much she's dragging her hoofs
  614. >Each breath you hear is slower than the last
  615. >You walk slowly beside her
  616. >It's taking her a minute to take each step it seems
  617. "I can carry you, it's fine I don't mind"
  618. >"N-No I wanna..W-w..W..wa-..wa.."
  619. >You see blood coming from her nose
  620. >She then collapses to the ground shaking
  621. >In a panic you pick her up
  622. >You have no OxyContin to give her
  623. >You hold her tighter than ever and begin running towards the hospital
  624. >"A-A...A-A-Ann-nnnon?"
  625. "You're going to be okay! Don't worry I have you!"
  626. >"A-A..am I hhh-hh-having my b-b-baby now?"
  627. "What!?"
  628. >"Th-the sh-shows say...I-it h-hurts h-...-ing baby.."
  629. >She's barely speaking but you can almost understand her
  630. >Tears roll down your face as you run to the hospital
  631. "What!? ...Yes..Your having your baby"
  632. >You decide to agree with her just to keep her talking so you know she's still alive
  633. >"Is...it-t-t-t a g-g-g..."
  634. "Yes..it's a girl...it's a girl and she's beautiful"
  635. >You get to the hospital and almost break down the door you're in such a panic
  636. "SOMEBODY HELP HER!! PLEASE I NEED HELP HERE!!"
  637. >Doctors and workers rush to see what all the noise is
  638. >"Wh-wh-wha...sh-she look...."
  639. >Doctors begin rushing to the emergency to get stretchers and IV's
  640. >All you do is hold her tight as your tears fall on her
  641. "She's on the short side...a-and she's cute..."
  642. __________________________________________
  643. >Crack Pone lies in a hospital bed
  644. >You sit next to her on a uncomfortable chair
  645. >The doctors have told you her condition is stable and you can leave whenever you want
  646. >You stay by her side for a few more minutes
  647. >You can't tell if she's passed out or sleeping anymore
  648. >You used to he able to tell the difference but your mind is too full of scrambled words to tell
  649. >You stand up and mumble to her
  650. "I'll...see you tomorrow after work"
  651. >You always wanted an excuse to get away from Crack Pone
  652. >Now more than ever
  653. >You put on your coat and leave
  654. >Everything has a layer of snow over it
  655. >It's beautiful
  656. >You walk back to your flat, undo the locks but stay outside the door
  657. >It doesn't feel right
  658. >You open the door slowly, half hoping she'd be in bed asleep, sitting on the couch or even passed out on the floor
  659. >You just want her home
  660. >You get to go to bed early tonight, not having to stay up with her
  661. >It doesn't feel right
  662. >You don't need to make any food for her or go to the crack house and get her
  663. >You can spend the night as if you two weren't together
  664. >You can spend the night as if you had a normal life, ignoring how gross your apartment is
  665. >It doesn't feel right
  666. >You lie in bed and look to where she would lie
  667. >You roll over to her side of the bed, it smelled kinda like her anyway
  668. >You sleep
  669. >No nightmares
  670. >No waking up in a sweat
  671. >No leaving money on the dresser before going to work
  672. >It doesn't feel right
  673. __________________________________________________
  674. >You walk to work again
  675. >You have actual money in your pocket today, not having to give it to Crack Pone
  676. >You get to the theater just in time to find out the acting group is having a party to celebrate the final night of their play
  677. >There are tables of food every where
  678. >You groan knowing you'll have to clean all this up
  679. >On the bright side, you can take the leftovers home and have actual food in your flat for once
  680. >You put your mind to your work to make the day go faster
  681. >Finally after at least 3 hours the party ends and the actors start going home
  682. >You start using left over baggies to carry the food
  683. >A filly runs over to you
  684. >"Hey! Stop stealing food!"
  685. "I'm not stealing, its going to be thrown out anyway"
  686. >The filly pouts
  687. >You ignore her and keep looking around for more baggies
  688. >You then see on one of the tables, a almost empty bowl of macaroni and cheese
  689. >You instantly go over and shove whats left into a bag
  690. >"Hey! My mom made that!''
  691. >Jesuschristgoaway.png
  692. "Look, I’m not stealing ok? I'm just going to give this to my..."
  693. >You stop for a moment and wonder what Crack Pone is to you exactly
  694. >People have called you two boyfriend and girlfriend before
  695. >Some have called you two just flatmates
  696. >You two sleep together in the same bed, kiss and some nights even make love
  697. >For the sake of ending the conversation there however, you simply say
  698. "My girlfriend."
  699. >"You have a girlfriend?! Aaww! Whats she like?!"
  700. "Why do you care?"
  701. >"Because thats adorable!!"
  702. "I don't really want to talk about her right now"
  703. >"Why?"
  704. "Shes....she's really sick right now..."
  705. >"sheesh, that must be lame."
  706. >The little filly then ran off to her mother
  707. >You knew Trinity wouldn't be like that
  708. >Trinity would be polite and kind
  709. >She'd be cute and sweet like her mother
  710. >But hopefully not eat so much Macaroni
  711. _________________________________________
  712. >You visit her at the hospital after work
  713. >As you sit there in that backless chair, you watch her
  714. >She's breathing normally and looks better than last night
  715. >You realize then, if she can't handle walking from the flat to the hospital, she won't handle childbirth
  716. >You realize how strange life feels without her
  717. >You're not sure if you miss her or not
  718. >Her eyes then open
  719. >You instantly sit up
  720. >Her lazy looking eyes look around
  721. >The moment she makes eye contact with you she does her weak smile
  722. >That smile she's done so many times before
  723. "...Welcome back, Pone"
  724. >You hold out your hand a little for her
  725. >She giggled weakly and reached her hoof out to touch your hand
  726. >"I came back~"
  727. _____________________________
  728. >Crack Pone sits in the waiting room while you talk to a doctor about her condition
  729. >The doctor lectures you about letting her do all these drugs but you don't listen
  730. >You just nod and say "uh huh"
  731. >You just want to leave and take her home
  732. >You suddenly remember why you two were going to the hospital in the first place
  733. >You already know the answer to the question you want to ask, but you ask anyway
  734. "Um...say what would happen to her if she was to...have a baby?"
  735. >"Dear lord, she isn't pregnant is she?!"
  736. >You wonder why he'd even ask, doctors of all people should tell if anything is pregnant
  737. "No no shes not its just...forget it
  738. >"Young man, I'm sure you're aware of what would happen to a baby in a body like that. It could come out slow, disfigured, the baby itself could be born addicted to heroin."
  739. "I understand I understand."
  740. >"It could be crippled or eve-"
  741. "I said I understand! I just want to go home..."
  742. >"...alright then sir. I need you to get your wife and have her fill out these papers"
  743. >Jesus this doctor was a moron, he should at least notice you two had different last names
  744. >Crack Pone signed some papers and you two leave
  745. >The moment you two get outside you pick her up
  746. >"Wh- anon I can walk y'know!"
  747. "..I know"
  748. >It all reminds you of that one night but you ignore the thought
  749. >As you walk there is a silence
  750. >You simply enjoyed the feeling of her clinging onto you and occasionally nuzzling her head on the side of yours
  751. >"The doctor said I could never have kids..."
  752. >Crack Pone broke the silence finally
  753. "That doctor was stupid anyway. He thought we were married, didn't even bother to check our last names"
  754. >Crack Pone giggled a bit, despite her obvious sadness
  755. >"I wouldn't mind being married to you anon"
  756. >You don't respond
  757. >You keep holding her even when you get home
  758. >You lie down on the futon with her curled up on top of you
  759. ______________________________
  760. >Days passed one at a time
  761. >Crack Pone continued doing what she always did
  762. >You continued to ignore it all
  763. >Crack Pone was still upset about never being able to have children, and often had crying fits over it when she was a little too high on marijuana
  764. >"I would have been such a good mother" is all she would say as she'd cry into your shirt
  765. >You hold her each time she cries like this, its all you can do
  766. >"I would have been...such a good mother..."
  767. >You know she'll cry herself out eventually, so you just calmly wait
  768. >But you notice she's lasting longer than usual
  769. >You sigh and decide to think of options again
  770. >The thought of Rehab keeps coming to you
  771. >You try and think of ways around sending her so far away from you
  772. >You can't
  773. "...Crack Pone...how about I get you out of here?"
  774. >"*sniffle* wh- huh?"
  775. "You would be a good mother...but you can't if you're like this"
  776. >She nods a bit and sits up so you two can talk better
  777. "...want to try rehab?"
  778. >She sniffles and rubs her eyes with her hoofs
  779. >You can tell she's avoiding answering you
  780. >You can tell she doesn't want to go
  781. >You don't really want her to go either
  782. "...Please..."
  783. >"I...I don't know..."
  784. >She rubs her eyes again and looks at her hoofs
  785. >Collapsed veins after collapsed veins, all down her arms
  786. >You see her slowly put her hand on her stomach
  787. >A long pause happens between you and her
  788. >You patiently wait her reply
  789. >"....No..."
  790. >She rubs her hoof across her tiny empty stomach
  791. ____________________
  792. >You wake up to Crack Pone on the floor the next day
  793. >The fact she refuses to go to rehab flusters you
  794. >You don't bother picking her back up off the ground this time
  795. >You don't need to go to work today, you don't bother thinking of an excuse to leave
  796. >You open the door and close it as you leave
  797. >The snow is up at least a foot now
  798. >You don't care
  799. >You walk anyway
  800. >You're not sure where you're walking to, you just need to get away from her before you do something you regret
  801. >You've already done so many things to her you regret
  802. >Giving her money for drugs
  803. >Letting her live with you
  804. >Never telling her off for how much she is ruining herself
  805. >You let out a yell of anger once you reached a mile away from the building she was in
  806. "If you would be such a fucking good mom why the fuck can't you get clean for Trinity?!"
  807. >You speak out loud to yourself, not bothering to see if anyone else was around
  808. "Trinity needs an actual fucking mom not a god damn dirt bag addict like you!"
  809. >You stop walking when you notice somebody walking by
  810. >They're staring at you having your angry breakdown
  811. >You just keep walking now
  812. >You think to yourself as you wonder home why she would be so selfish and not go
  813. >You stop in your tracks
  814. >You didn't want her to go for years and now you're mad at her saying no
  815. >You let out another angry groan and hit yourself in the forehead
  816. >Now that Trinity is such a vision now, things have changed between you two
  817. >Trinity was an excuse
  818. >Not an excuse to leave Crack Pone
  819. >She was an excuse to get Crack Pone better
  820. >You can't help but smile a bit thinking of Trinity now, until you remember she will never be born
  821. _________________________________________
  822. >You come home
  823. >You didn't lock the door so you just walk in
  824. >You see Crack Pone still passed out on the floor
  825. >She is lucid now you think
  826. >As you put your coat away you hear a little "...mmnn...hey anon..."
  827. >You don't answer her
  828. >You just walk to the kitchen for food
  829. >Kitchen is a fucking mess as usual
  830. >You open the fridge
  831. >7 baggies of macaroni in there
  832. >whatthefuckisthishit.png
  833. >You go to the living room
  834. >Crack Pone is sitting up now and rubbing her eyes
  835. "Whats with the macaroni in the fridge?"
  836. >"Wh- nooo you weren't supposed to see that yet!!"
  837. >She gets up and stumbles to the kitchen
  838. >You follow even though you now she doesn't want you to
  839. >She takes a note off the fridge door
  840. >You're surprised you haven't seen it yet
  841. "Why can't I see this?"
  842. >"You can see it..when I'm sure about something.."
  843. >You don't bother asking anymore
  844. >you don't really wanna talk to her anyway
  845. >The day passes like any other until you get ready for bed
  846. >Crack Pone is asleep on the bed already, sprawled out leaving no room for you
  847. >You didn't feel like sleeping in the same bed as her anyway
  848. >You look to where she put the note
  849. >Curiosity gets the better of you
  850. >You take it an open it
  851. "Dear Anon, here are 7 bags of macaroni for every day of the week you're my favorite man. I thought I'd cook for you at least once to practice for when Trinity comes when I come back from rehab. I can't wait to see you when I'm back! I love you!"
  852. >You pause for a moment
  853. >Was she leaving today? Did she change her mind just last night?
  854. >You remembered what she said before, why she wouldn't show it to you ye
  855. >Maybe you'll ask tomorrow
  856. >For now you curl up in the spot Crack Pone didn't have a hoof and slept
  857. ______________________________________
  858. >You wake up the next morning to the sound of Crack Pone throwing up on the floor
  859. >You sit up and crawl over to her
  860. "What's wrong?"
  861. >She can't answer
  862. >You hold back her hair as she runs to the bathroom
  863. >You lift the toilet seat, keeping her hair pulled back
  864. >She threw up continuously, it was ungodly
  865. >She finally stopped minutes after
  866. "What's wrong with you?
  867. >She's still too out of breath to speak
  868. >You sigh and take some paper towels to your room and start cleaning up the vomit off the floor
  869. >"I've...just been..sick in the mornings.."
  870. >You hear her coming in behind you and crawl up onto the bed
  871. "Wh-...huh?"
  872. >She rubs across her tiny stomach
  873. >You suddenly notice why she wants to go to rehab now
  874. _______________________
  875. >You take one more sick day off work to think this through
  876. >You look to Crack Pone, asleep on the futon
  877. >Dear god that mare can sleep
  878. >You look at her stomach
  879. >It doesn't look swollen or any bigger, maybe its just from the medicine she was given at the hospital mixing with whatever drugs she already had in her system
  880. >You think about all the reasons she couldn't be pregnant, the doctors didn't say anything about it (Doctor was stupid anyway)
  881. >You think about the last time you and her made love
  882. >You two haven't made love in a month therefore there is no way this could be happening
  883. >Crack Pone's body is too brittle for bearing a child....right?
  884. >You look at her and watch her sleep
  885. >You bite her lip and think to yourself more, trying to find out what has happened between you two after these two years
  886. >Why is this happening now?
  887. >"anon?.."
  888. "Oh yes?"
  889. >"Can you make something?..."
  890. "Of course! Anything for you."
  891. >You go to the kitchen and start boiling water to make her some Macaroni and Cheese
  892.  
  893.  
  894.  
  895. >You know she wants to go to rehab now
  896. >You don't know where to start looking
  897. >You ask the hospital and they just give you a few papers
  898. >You go back to the house to find Crack Pone still lying on the futon
  899. >"Welcome Home anon.."
  900. "mhm..."
  901. >You come over and sit by her
  902. >She sits up and crawls onto your lap
  903. >"mm rub my back~"
  904. >You smile a bit and put the papers on the armrest and start betting her back
  905. >You know you're going to miss this
  906. >You know you're going to miss her
  907. >You wonder if you could just lie and say you can't find any rehab places for her
  908. >You know that wouldn't be right
  909. >For now you just enjoy the moment you two are sharing now
  910. >Your hand stroked her back and she lets out a tiny groan
  911. >You smile looking down at her
  912. >The tv wasn't on today, the only noise that could be heard in this horrible looking apartment you two shared was the sound of your's and Crack Pone's breathing
  913. "...Y'know it can stay like this if you want. Just me and you here on the futon..."
  914. >Jesus what are you saying
  915. >You feel yourself cringe at your own words
  916. >You get upset with her for not wanting to go, upset when she wasn't to go, you didn't know what to feel
  917. >All you knew now was you wanted her happy
  918. >It might cost your happiness but its worth it for her
  919. >"I wouldn't mind that..little Trinity would enjoy it too when she's out. I can't wait to meet her..."
  920. >You don't want to bring up the fact that she might not be pregnant
  921. >She seems happier than she's been in at least a year
  922. >You thought you'd buy her a pregnancy test just to make sure
  923. >It'd either break her heart if it was negative, or break yours if it was positive
  924. ______________________________________________
  925. >Crack Pone falls asleep eventually just like she always does
  926. >You lie her down in your bed
  927. >Its daytime so you decide to go buy that test now
  928. >You walk the three miles to the hospital, trying to keep those thoughts of what happened on this rout the last time
  929. >You enter the hospital and walk to the back where you last saw a pharmacy
  930. >You walk in, buy the first one you see and leave
  931. >On the way you see the the doctor who said (or thought) she wasn't pregnant
  932. "Hey you!"
  933. >"Yes? Is there a problem?"
  934. >You could see hes walking to the bathroom
  935. >You stop him
  936. "Why didn't you tell me my wife-..my girlfriend was pregnant?"
  937. >"Excuse me?"
  938. "I asked about what would happen if she was pregnant and you acted like she wasn't"
  939. >"Is she?"
  940. >ohmygodthisfucker.avi
  941. "We think so..."
  942. >"Oh heavens! Do you know what could happen?!"
  943. "YES! DAMNIT! You told me already!!"
  944. >"No I only told you what could happen to the baby! Do you know what could happen to HER?!"
  945. "...wh-..what would happen?"
  946. >"If the baby even survives inside of her-"
  947. "What will happen to HER damnit!?"
  948. >You can feel her heart beating out of your chest you're so angry at this dense fucker
  949. >"She could suffer a maternal death!"
  950. "Wh-..maternal...what?! No that can't happen!"
  951. >"Its happened befo-"
  952. >You're already gone
  953. _______________________________________________________
  954. >You're holding your breath waiting for Crack Pone to come out
  955. >You haven't told her what the doctor told you
  956. >You haven't told her about what could happen to the baby either
  957. >You have noticed her taking a lot less drugs than usual
  958. >She has been laying off the heroin and only taking it to avoid overdosing
  959. >You're proud of her for that, but it feels weird and almost..wrong not giving her money in the morning
  960. >You've become so used to this all
  961. >Crack Pone is in the bathroom now testing out the pregnancy test
  962. >All you do is wait
  963. >Television is off
  964. >Your phone is off
  965. >Nothing but you and your thoughts
  966. >You think of what this apartment used to look like before it became such a dump
  967. >You think about the day you two moved in together
  968. >You two had nothing but this one futon
  969. >You two would curl up together on it at nighttime to sleep because you had no bed yet
  970. >You two made love for the first time on this futon too
  971. >You remembered the time it almost burned down when Crack Pone tried to make you a surprise breakfast on the day you got that job
  972. >Where you willing to share these memories with another little pony?
  973. >Was this little pony even going to be yours?
  974. >You think back to the reasons why she couldn't be pregnant
  975. >The main one was, you two haven't made love in a month
  976. >Then it hits you
  977. >The day you brought her back from the crack house
  978. >You knew she did sexual favors for people for crack or even heroin but would she go that far?
  979. >Would this child be yours?
  980. >...would it matter?
  981. >You love Crack Pone
  982. >You love her flaws and all
  983. >You often wondered what you would do for her
  984. >You remember the countless times you'd say "Anything for you"
  985. >Would this count?
  986. >It was just another reason not to have the child
  987. >Not only could it not be yours it could also rid you of the thing you love more than anything
  988. >You sigh and sit back only to instantly sit back up again
  989. >She walks out of the bathroom and you look to her
  990. >"WE'RE HAVING A BABYY!!"
  991. ________________________________________
  992. >The first month you and Crack Pone started living together, it shocked and worried you how much she could sleep
  993. >After living with her for 2 years if she was awake for more than 8 hours a day it would shock and scare you
  994. >Today she stayed up a little longer than that to be there when you made the call to book a train ticket for her to go to rehab
  995. >The ticket would take her from you in 5 days
  996. >She will be gone until they think she is fit to leave
  997. "5 Days..."
  998. >Now she was sleeping beside you
  999. >Her face is facing yours and some of her greasy thin locks were covering her face
  1000. >You reach out and gently brush them aside
  1001. >You're going to miss doing that
  1002. >You're going to miss her childish attitude
  1003. >You're going to miss the way she eats all messy
  1004. >You're going to miss having to buy Macaroni almost every week for her
  1005. >You're going to miss lying next to her like this
  1006. >You're even going to miss carrying her back home from the days spent at the crack house
  1007. >Out of all the things you're going to miss that weak, innocent smile she does when she's waking up to see you in the mornings or after passing out
  1008. >You're going to miss the way her eyes sag when she does it and how she'd look around for a second each time after opening them before finding you
  1009. >You're going to miss..her
  1010. >This had to be someone else's baby inside her
  1011. >Is her dying worth it for someone else's baby?
  1012. >You knew no matter who the father was she would want to keep it
  1013. >All the days she has spent talking about what her child would be like
  1014. >If she would be thin, tiny, cute, stubborn or shy even
  1015. >Some days she would forget all about these talks about what her child with you would be like
  1016. >Some day you will never have these talks about what her child would be like ever again
  1017. >You sigh and snuggle in closer, wishing you two were snuggled up on that futon like you were two years ago
  1018. ______________________________________________
  1019. >You aren't allowed anymore sick days
  1020. >You don't want to leave Crack Pone
  1021. >You've spent two years wanting to leave her but now its one of the things you dread over anything
  1022. >"Anon how about I come with you?"
  1023. "To work? I don't think it'd be okay"
  1024. >"C'mon please?"
  1025. >You sigh
  1026. "Anything for you."
  1027. >She starts bouncing up and down on the bed
  1028. >You knew she only wanted to go to see the child actors
  1029. >You've told her about them
  1030. >You also told her the children are probably all gone now since the play is over
  1031. >You watch her put a few Oxycontin pills in her saddlebag as she gets ready to avoid overdose
  1032. >You already have your shoes on as usual
  1033. >You two leave, you of course insist of carrying her the way to the theater
  1034. >Neither of you talk, you simply enjoy the feeling of her arms wrapped back around you
  1035. >And yours around her
  1036. >Once you get to the theater you put her down and she shivered
  1037. >The snow wasn't that high up for her
  1038. >You two walk in and are instantly welcomed by the new acting group
  1039. >They see your Crack Pone hiding behind you a little
  1040. >You arch an eyebrow at her strange behavior
  1041. >You notice how everybody else in the building aside from her looked like they were alive
  1042. >She was the only one out of everyone who had rotting teeth, collapsed veins and possibly a heroin baby in her belly
  1043. >One of the kids ask whats wrong with her
  1044. >You feel the need to tell off that brat for saying something so rude
  1045. >You hear her voice from behind you
  1046. >"I was cursed by a witch!"
  1047. >whut.png
  1048. >the little kids all looked at each other
  1049. >"Wow really?!" one of the fillies yelled out
  1050. >"Really! She cursed me for stealing her potions! And you know what she said to me after cursing me?"
  1051. >A colt tilted his head and asked “What?”
  1052. >"That all I'm aloud to eat....IS LITTLE PONIES!"
  1053. >She started chasing them around
  1054. >All the ponies began squealing and laughing
  1055. >You think to yourself before grabbing a broom
  1056. "She really would have been such a great mother"
  1057. _______________________________
  1058. >You vacuumed the carpet on the theaters common room
  1059. >Every so often Crack Pone would run past you squealing "You'll never take me alive!" followed by a stampede of little Fillies squealing and laughing
  1060. >Each time it happened you'd chuckle a bit before noticing the dirty hoof prints on the carpet
  1061. "...ugh..."
  1062. >You keep vacuuming
  1063. >The constant noise of the children laughing and hollering was weird to hear
  1064. >You never heard them all laughing
  1065. >You wondered if this is what your household would be like if Crack Pone lives through giving birth
  1066. >Would you wake up every morning to Trinity and Crack Pone running around the house laughing
  1067. >You hoped it wouldn't be this hard to clean when the baby comes
  1068. >If the baby comes
  1069. >Your thoughts are interupted with the sound of Crack Pone yelling "No I'm cornered! Thank heavens they don't know the one word that kills me *fake cough* Apples *fake cough*
  1070. >It sounds like every child in the world is screaming the word apples all of a sudden
  1071. >"NOO!! HOW DID THEY- Blehh!"
  1072. >An uproar of children's laughter explodes from the other room
  1073. "Oh my god"
  1074. >You can't help but laugh at the series of sounds you just heard as you try cleaning the thousands of hoof prints off of the carpet
  1075. __________________
  1076. >You haven't seen Crack Pone all day at work
  1077. >She was out playing with the younger ponies
  1078. >You wondered why the adults just let the child actors go play with a total stranger like that
  1079. >Especially someone who looked the way Crack Pone did
  1080. >Crack Pone had rotten teeth, faded colours, bloodshot eyes and all
  1081. >You could hear the muffled laughter of kids outside though an open window
  1082. >You could hear a kid yell out "NOW ME NOW ME!"
  1083. >You didn't know what they were playing, you did however know that it was almost time for you to end your shift
  1084. >You clocked out and put away the janitor supplies in the closed and went outside
  1085. >Crack Pone and the younger children were playing in the show together
  1086. >You stood and watched for a while seeing how happy she and the kids were
  1087. >Not a single one of them wasn't smiling
  1088. >Every so often you can see Crack Pone put her hand on her stomach and look down at it
  1089. >You hear a colt ask, "Whats wrong with your belly? Are you sick?"
  1090. >"No, I just have my baby in here"
  1091. >You walk over now, seeing how everyone has calmed down
  1092. >A filly runs up closer to her to get a better look
  1093. >"A baby?! A boy or a girl?" she asks
  1094. >"I'm hoping its a girl."
  1095. >All the girls in the group did a little cheer
  1096. >"I'm not sure when she's coming but I can't wait to meet her. I was thinking we'd name her Trinity. I can bring her here so you all can meet her when she comes"
  1097. >You smile and motion to Crack Pone that you two need to go home now
  1098. >"Oh sorry kids, I need to leave"
  1099. >All the kids let out a loud "nooo!"
  1100. >"Hey! Don't say that or I'll have to come by....and GOBBLE YOU UP!"
  1101. >Each kid screamed and jumped back a bit
  1102. >You and Crack Pone laugh as you two turn to go home
  1103. >Crack Pone had a smile on her face but you could tell she was exhausted
  1104. >Surprised she was able to last that long you scoop her up into your arms and start walking home again
  1105. ________________________
  1106. >You have three days left with Crack Pone until she leaves
  1107. >You don't know how long she is leaving for
  1108. >Crack Pone took a little shot of crack when she got home and is now sitting on your lap eating Macaroni and Cheese
  1109. >Its all she has eaten for the past 2 days
  1110. >Its the only thing she has requested to eat
  1111. >As she is eating you're braiding her hair
  1112. >You're shit at braiding hair
  1113. >She has been throwing up a lot lately the first night you two found out making her lighter and skinnier
  1114. >You wonder what she'll be like after rehab
  1115. >She'll be in there for at least a year
  1116. >It then hits you
  1117. >A baby takes usually 9 months to come out
  1118. >Your eyes fill as you realize, staring at the back of her head, covered in a poorly multi-braided mane your worst fear is now destined to come true
  1119. >Her dying in rehab
  1120. >Not due to drugs
  1121. >Due to a baby of all things
  1122. >You stop braiding for a moment as more of this sets in
  1123. >You wont see her in rehab
  1124. >You probably wont be there when she gives birth
  1125. >These last three days with her are the last three days you will never get to spend with her
  1126. "...No..no no no no!"
  1127. >You instantly hug her
  1128. ___________________________________
  1129. >She drops her bowl of macaroni
  1130. >"Wh- Anon you made me drop my--"
  1131. "Please I'm begging you don't have this baby!"
  1132. >You're now sobbing as you hug her, nuzzling your face in her mane
  1133. >"What? Why not? Anon whats wrong?"
  1134. "I don't want you..I don't want you to die.."
  1135. >Your words are muffled from your face being buried into her mane
  1136. >"Die?! Who said anything about dying?!"
  1137. "The doctor-..s-said you wouldn't live if you g-gave birth! I don't want that! Please I'll do anything!"
  1138. >Crack Pone stayed on your lap as you held your vice grip like hug onto her
  1139. >"...Anon I want more than anything to have this baby...:
  1140. >You can feel her move her hoof to her stomach
  1141. >"I've waited so long...If letting her into the world means I have to die the-"
  1142. "We can adopt! W-we can get one of those..agh what're they called...surrogate mothers? Please just let us do that! You don't have to die! I don't want you to!"
  1143. >”Anon...Trinity is my baby..I already lived my life. I don’t want to take it away from her”
  1144. “No! You haven’t lived your life! W-we can go to so many places together! We can go see some of those plays the kids put on at that theater!”
  1145. >”C’mon anon...I can’t even walk 2 miles, how can I go to other places?”
  1146. “I can carry you! I don’t mind! Just please..”
  1147. >You start sobbing into her mane
  1148. >You’ve never held her so tight your whole life
  1149. >Two years you haven’t held her like this once and you hate yourself for it now
  1150. ____________________________
  1151. >Two more days left
  1152. >You spend it trying to convince her not to have the child
  1153. >She continues to deny you
  1154. >You eventually learn for real how much she wants this baby to be alive
  1155. >You slowly stop asking her not to have it
  1156. >You still want to keep begging as if it would stop her
  1157. >Finally the day has come
  1158. >Your last day together
  1159. >You spoil the crap out of her
  1160. >Macaroni and Cheese for breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks
  1161. >You carry her almost everywhere and tell her you love her every chance you can
  1162. >You and her talk about what kind of pony Trinity will be
  1163. >It has become more of a game than anything
  1164. >"Would she play sports?"
  1165. "Of course! She'd play everything! Basketball! Baseball too!"
  1166. >"Ew not hockey tho! I hate that sport"
  1167. "Why would she play hockey? She's too busy being a first class ballet dancer"
  1168. >"Ouu ballet?! Of course!"
  1169. >She'd put her hand on her belly and look down
  1170. >"Hear that? I'm sure you'd be a wonderful dancer"
  1171. >You are surprised that the day was spent laughing instead of crying
  1172. >Why couldn't every day be like this
  1173. >Why did things start lightening up only now
  1174. ______________________________________________
  1175. >She is curled up ontop of you sleeping
  1176. >You two are on the futon
  1177. >It reminded you of how you used to live years ago
  1178. >Happy go lucky, curled up on a futon
  1179. >You check the time
  1180. >3:30
  1181. >The train arrives at 4:00
  1182. >You don't want time to continue
  1183. >You wish time would stop at this very moment
  1184. >Your arm draped across her as she sleeps on top of you
  1185. >It was hard to believe things were so miserable only a week ago
  1186. >It was hard to believe you spent months looking for reasons to leave this apartment and her
  1187. >It was hard to believe this could be the last time you ever see her
  1188. >You sit up and keep her held close to you
  1189. >She is still asleep
  1190. >You stand up, drape a jacket around her, put on her backpack full of luggage and carry her out the door
  1191. >The snow is falling slower than usual
  1192. >For a second you think time has slowed and maybe your wish was granted
  1193. >You feel her squirm a bit getting more comfortable
  1194. >Her chin is rested on your shoulder with one arm hanging over the other
  1195. >She felt warmer than usual despite the freezing snow
  1196. >You get to the train station in time, give the ticket to the bus driver and put the sleeping Crack Pone in a chair
  1197. >You brush the bangs from her face one last time
  1198. >Her eyes open lazily and she looks over to you
  1199. >You two make eye contact
  1200. >She does a weak smile
  1201. >"mm anon?"
  1202. "..Yes?"
  1203. >"When Trinity comes...take good care of her"
  1204. >You nod and kiss her on the forehead
  1205. "Anything for you"
  1206. >The bell rings and you get off the train to walk home
  1207.  
  1208.  
  1209.  
  1210. >You sit down on that futon
  1211. "She's really gone..."
  1212. >You begin cleaning up the flat
  1213. >You've forgotten what the place looks like clean
  1214. >Throwing away the left over macaroni hurt
  1215. >You left the seven bags in the fridge however
  1216. >You cleaned all the dishes and the floor
  1217. >Something catches your eye
  1218. >You look to the fridge to see a note magnated on there
  1219. >You go over and read it
  1220. "Dear Anon, here are 7 bags of macaroni for every day of the week you're my favorite man. I thought I'd cook for you at least once to practice for when Trinity comes when I come back from rehab. I can't wait to see you when I'm back! I love you!"
  1221. >Except she never came back
  1222. >A year and a half has passed, that note stays on the fridge
  1223. >Two years after Trinity is born the family services lets her live with you in that tiny flat
  1224. >Since she doesn't have a room she sleeps on the futon some nights
  1225. >Trinity doesn't look much like you but she has her mother’s eyes, looks and of course, love for Macaroni and Cheese
  1226.  
  1227.  
  1228. The End.
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