Hamster night is underway, and we’re all getting down.
Welcome to the hottest fuckin’ party in town.
No need to frown, I ain’t tryin’ to clown,
Someone get me a drink, we need another round.

We got hamsters in the house and they be bowling,
Pins falling down, the balls keep rolling.
I ’m Master Hamster MC, check the latest polling.
Someone grab the mic, entertainment needs doling.

This party’s pickin’ up, things are starting to get hot,
Hamster’s grindin’ all around, more drunk than not.
Clear off the top shelf, I’ve got the whole lot,
Things about to get crazy, now who wants a shot?

Drying your hands, for a hamster is essential
to throw strikes and spares to your fullest potential.
Blow dryers, towels, chalk bags – we've got 'em all.
We're hamsters. We bowl. We're standing tall.

Dry my hands? Try, dry my paws!
And if you don't back down you'll get my claws!
This shit is raw, don't exploit my flaws...
I'll come at you harder than hamster law.

You couldn't bowl a strike with the help of a sham-wow.
So get your ass back to the arcade and go play, now.

Don't front with me. Sit down, mister.
I've been bowling since yo' mama ate your sister.