Pastries

>be anon
>presenting in front of Cheerio’s class
“and that’s what I used to do before I came to Equestria”
>the children are stunned
>you probably should have left out everything about porn
>and the piss jug
>Silver Spoon raises a hoof
“Yes, Copper Cutlery”
>she glares
>”Actually it’s Silver Spoon. Did you have a girlfriend back on earth?”
>what part of piss jug did she not understand?
“No, mom, I didn’t have a girlfriend. I didn’t see many girls once I left college.”
>”but what about going out a meeting a girl?”
“It wasn’t a big deal for me. It’s actually a sore subject. Does anyone have a question?”
>”What about Miss Cherilee?”
>spaghetti forms in your pockets
“Seriously, can you-”
>”What about one of us?”
>Cherilee cuts you off before the inevitable pasta explosion
>”Thank you, Mr Anonymous.”
>Silver Spoon writes something down and passes it to Diamond Tiara.
>DT giggles and writes something back
>as you walk to the door, you smile and wink at Spoonie
>For a brief moment, you pat yourself on the back
>Then you realize you just made a sexual advance towards a child
>spaghetti trails as you hurry towards the door

>walking home
>swing by Sugarcube Corner because there’s always an excuse for cake
>Twilight’s there
“Yo, Rihannon, how’s it going?”
>literallywhat.jpg
“It’s a song from earth. It’s about a witch. Sorry, I’ve been like this all day.”
>”Like how?”
“Like not thinking. I was presenting in Cherilee’s class and talking about my life as a shut in on earth and told way too much and Silver Spoon was flirting with me and I flirted back. Now I’m going to jail for flirting with a kid. Will you pardon me?”
>”She’s probably just starting her first heat. But you flirted back.This suggests mutual attraction. You should talk to her.”
“She’s a filly. I will go to jail.”
>”She’s mature now Anon, it’s okay.”
“Wait, didn’t you fuck your brother? Why am I taking sex advice from you?”
>”Because, deep down, you’re just as depraved as me”
>she’s not wrong
“So it’s totally cool by Equestria standards to just start fucking as soon as you come of age.”
>”More or less. Honestly it would be worse that you’re human but even then pony’s won’t really mind. Big Mac once got his dick stung by a swarm of-”
“OKAY I GOT IT THANK YOU”
>”Look, you’ve got nothing to lose.See how it pans out.”
>you will never understand this place.

>You walk back to your place, box of eclairs in hand.
>as you walk through the door, a voice calls out
>”Mister Anon! Mister Anon!”
>Silver Spoon
>Okay, we’re doing this.
“Hey there Silver Spoon. What’s up?
>”Miss Cherilee assigned up a paper on what you talked about and comparing it to pony life. I want to do a good job, can I get a private interview?”
>Wow, be more fucking obvious kid.
“Yeah, come on in. Want an eclair?”
>you open the door and she follows you in.
>you set the box on the counter and dig around for something to put them on
>plates and pastries in hand, you set them on the table and motion for her to sit
>she blushes
>”I can’t reach the seat. will you help me?
>you pick her up, she’s super warm
>”You’re tickling me Anon.”
“You’re pretty hot for a pony”
>she freezes
>you freeze
>”nopony’s ever called me hot before.”
>are those sirens in the background?
>You bring her up to your face
“You’re not hot, you’re cute as fuck.”
>blushing intensifies
>”You wanna kiss me Anon?”
“You wanna kiss me Silver Spoon?”
>”kiss your dick maybe”
“There’s no paper, is there Silver Spoon?”
>”there’s no school tomorrow either. My parent’s think I’m with Diamond Tiara tonight.”
“Let’s just slow things down for now.”
>You sit down and put her on your lap
>She turns to face you and buries her face into your shirt
>you scratch behind her ears and she looks up
>perfect goddamn bedroom eyes
>you lean down and kiss her
>she moans and grinds her crotch into your pants leg
>girl cum seeps through your suit but it’s a non-issue
>she breaks the kiss and pants slightly
>”Make me yours Anon. I don’t want anyone else. All the other fillies have colt friends, I want a man friend. Even Apple Bloom’s lost her virginity.”
“You want to be my special filly? You want to take me in every hole? You want me to wear you around like a cock sock?”
>”More than anything in the world.”
>you pick her up and carry her to your bed
>setting her down, you start to undress
>she drools as your fingers unknot your tie and unbutton your shirt.
>”will you use those on me? Your fingers.”
“Patience, baby. All in due time.”
>you’re naked in front of her and she’s looking you over like a haunch of meat.
>she sits up and nuzzles your cock
>she gives it a few licks and then starts to take it all
>she’s a prefect natural
>you reach around her side and gently rub her clit
>she moans and tenses up
“relax baby,you’re *grunt* doing great”
>you add another finger to the mix, tracing the outside of her labia
>She groans and you feel a splatter of cum against your hand
>you lose focus and pour a load down her throat
>she takes it all
>”well, it’s no eclair,but I like that filling more.”