[22:00]	Ten_	The first #NEETadv support group begins now!
[22:00]	Ten_	First off, I want to thank everyone for coming here and taking the time to give and receive help. The support group was tried before a few weeks ago but didn't work for various reasons. However, the straw poll in the thread showed that there is still significant interest so I figured that it was time to give the support group another try.
[22:00]	Ten_	I want to begin the support group by getting acknowledgements from the people that are interested in participating. If you want to participate p-please respond.
[22:01]	Ten_	haha, well, shit
[22:01]	nystfud	uh :V
[22:01]	nystfud	it's like
[22:02]	kurokona	raises hand
[22:02]	kurokona	uh, can I go now
[22:02]	Ten_	I was waiting to see if anyone else was going to respond
[22:03]	Ten_	Doesn't seem that way
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[22:03]	nystfud	!
[22:03]	Ten_	but... let's continue
[22:03]	Ten_	Alright, I think we have enough people to make this interesting (not really, I prepared this beforehand). I want to begin with a round of introductions so we can all understand the people behind the usernames. Since I am the host of the support group I will start things off.
[22:04]	Ten_	If you want to take this time to prepare an introduction you should do so
[22:05]	Ten_	I will post mine while you guys do that
[22:05]	Ten_	I'm 29 years old and I have been NEET for 4 years. I worked as an IT Manager/Bookkeeper for a small business for six years after getting out of college. I also started day trading with my free time starting in 2007.
[22:05]	Ten_	In 2009 everything wrong. I lost nearly $30,000 on the market trading options after the crash, then my father, whom I was very close to, was diagnosed with cancer and died a few months later. During that time I was also diagnosed with lyme disease, a condition I still battle to this day. In early 2010 I was replaced at my job by an incompetent family member of the owner after I spent three...
[22:05]	Ten_	...months training him how to do my job every day. They ended up paying him 3x as much they paid me and I left there in a cussing rage and burned every bridge on the way out.
[22:05]	Ten_	The first year of NEETlyfe was depression filled and I didn't get anything accomplished, I applied to many jobs but never got accepted anywhere. In the second year I pulled myself out of it and decided to teach myself how to program and that's what I have been doing to this day. I hope to get a job in the industry soon and put an end to this lifestyle.
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[22:07]	Ten_	Kuroko and nystfud, whenever you guys get the chance go ahead and introduce yourselves as well
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[22:07]	=-=	Swordfish is now known as Pangolin
[22:07]	Ten_	Pangolin if you're here for the support group we just started introductions
[22:07]	Pangolin	Hello! I was just checking everything out. I'm not sure if I'm going to participate
[22:08]	Ten_	I will pastebin the history for you, one sec, we only have a few people participating unfortunatley
[22:08]	Ten_	the turnout wasn't as good as I had planned
[22:08]	kurokona	Hello everyone, my user nick is kurokona but you might know me as Kuroko spammer. August will mark my 10th year on 4chan.
[22:09]	kurokona	https://boards.4chan.org/a/res/104983384
[22:09]	Porygon	4chan | thread kuroko Anonymous (an hour ago) No.104983384 | File: https://i.4cdn.org/a/src/1396658709549.png
[22:09]	Ten_	http://pastebin.com/yNmFybBE
[22:09]	Porygon	Title | [22:00] Ten_ The first #NEETadv support group begins now! [22:00] Ten_ First of - Pastebin.com | pastebin.com
[22:10]	nystfud	I'm just a fairly recent grad with no current job and not much of a life to speak of. I'm not really looking for support so much as I'm here because I'm bored and I've got nothing else going on.
[22:10]	kurokona	I am 2x years old but I was a NEET from 2006-2010. I will try to answer any questions as best I can.
[22:11]	Halloluwah	Can I make something of myself in life without getting a McJob or going to college
[22:12]	kurokona	Before that I studied Architecture at Berkeley and worked at Fry's and Xerox.
[22:12]	kurokona	after my NEET stint I got a job at a small company doing IT work and in January returned to skool.
[22:12]	Ten_	Not having a degree really hurts these days but it's not impossible to make something of yourself but it's going to take three times more work than your peers.
[22:13]	Halloluwah	I want to be some sort of self-employed person but don't know where to start
[22:13]	Halloluwah	and at the same time have friends
[22:14]	kurokona	if you can't find a job then look for internships
[22:14]	Ten_	I want to be self employed as well, I do not take orders well, never have. It's a lot of work and I think I'm too nice to start my own business.
[22:14]	Ten_	I do side work for money and I am always letting my clients walk all over me. I don't think I would be a good business owner
[22:14]	kurokona	they also solve the paradox of needing experience for a job quite nicely.
[22:15]	Halloluwah	Yeah I always wanted to teach myself music and start up a band.
[22:15]	kurokona	I think almost everyone here is 18-24
[22:16]	-->|	ven (cgiirc@Rizon-FF4FC1EB.ips.paulbunyan.net) has joined #NEETadv
[22:16]	Ten_	Volunteering is another way if you can't get yourself into an internship
[22:16]	andonuts	I'm 25 years old and have been a NEET for 4 years now after graduating university. After my father died from lung cancer, mental illness started to present itself more than in my childhood and I've been doing absolutely nothing ever since. Hopefully, with my second job ever coming up this Monday, I can end this awful cycle and return to either academic bubble or enter the employment bubble for good.
[22:17]	kurokona	I highly recommend internships or volunteering because those stints have a high chance of turning into a full-time job.
[22:17]	kurokona	much more so than just turning in an application or interviewing for a job.
[22:17]	Ten_	I'm going to start applying again in the next few days, if nothing comes of that I will try volunteer programming for some non profits
[22:18]	Ten_	Andonuts our stories have a lot in common, I definitely know where you're coming from.
[22:18]	kurokona	the important thing is to stay positive and move on quickly
[22:19]	Ten_	I have to switch to my laptop, I'll be back in one minute
[22:19]	arc	wait what something's going on
[22:19]	kurokona	congradulations on landing a job
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[22:20]	=-=	Mode #NEETadv +qo cpucake_13 cpucake_13 by ChanServ
[22:20]	andonuts	T-thans.
[22:20]	andonuts	T-thanks.
[22:21]	kurokona	! ! ! ! !
[22:21]	ven	Pardon me.
[22:21]	ven
[22:22]	cpucake_13	Sorry. My whole point was not be a huge drama queen interupter person but I just can't tell time, apparently.
[22:22]	cpucake_13	I thought I was 15 minutes early >.>
[22:22]	cpucake_13	but just ignore me, and continue as usual
[22:23]	Ten_	http://pastebin.com/L8DmbN8R
[22:23]	Porygon	Title | [22:00] Ten_ The first #NEETadv support group begins now! [22:00] Ten_ First of - Pastebin.com | pastebin.com
[22:23]	Ten_	For those that are catching up on the support group
[22:23]	Ten_	cpucake it's great to see you again!
[22:23]	kurokona	it's still getting started, it's OK cpu
[22:24]	ven	I think I have followed the IRC directions a little closely.
[22:24]	ven	Do you guys know how to change a nickname?
[22:24]	nystfud	use /nick
[22:24]	ven	Thank you
[22:24]	Ten_	arc we're having our first support group, sorry I had to switch to my laptop, I will keep things moving along now
[22:24]	=-=	ven is now known as Roserade
[22:25]	cpucake_13	That sounds so pretty, ven
[22:25]	arc	Cool, was just reading the backlog.
[22:25]	Roserade	Aw... Thanks.
[22:25]	cpucake_13	Hi Ten and Ven btw
[22:25]	Ten_	We are doing introductions still, if any of the new participants want to introduce themselves and share their stories go ahead.
[22:25]	Roserade	Hello.
[22:26]	Roserade	Okay.
[22:26]	Ten_	I will wait for people to catch up before moving things forward.
[22:26]	-->|	Ver (qwebirc@Rizon-93AEF9E.as13285.net) has joined #NEETadv
[22:26]	kurokona	\ignore Roserade
[22:26]	cpucake_13	That sounds good
[22:26]	kurokona	\ignore Ver
[22:26]	cpucake_13	lol no, not ignore
[22:26]	cpucake_13	the thing ten said
[22:27]	Roserade	I am 22 years old. And I am a writer.
[22:27]	cpucake_13	Neat
[22:27]	Ten_	Oh, the new people named Ven are following the mibbit instructions
[22:27]	Macbot	For the new people who don't know, most of us will be sure to hand out shit to you
[22:27]	Halloluwah	Fiction or non fiction?
[22:28]	Ten_	haha I'm really sorry about that
[22:28]	Roserade	Fiction.
[22:28]	Ten_	you guys can switch your nicknames with the /nick command
[22:28]	Roserade	I really like surreal fiction.
[22:28]	Roserade	Duly noted.
[22:28]	kurokona	ah ok
[22:29]	Halloluwah	Borges, Kafka, Camus.. that stuff?
[22:29]	Roserade	Yes.
[22:29]	Roserade	And some Italo Calvano.
[22:29]	cpucake_13	Ten: possibly put that in the opening channel blurb, for now at least?
[22:29]	Halloluwah	aw yeah
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[22:29]	Roserade	I really like invisible cities.
[22:30]	arc	Well uh I'm not one for introductions but I'll just say I dropped out of university 4 years ago and been lazy and constantly sleeping since.
[22:30]	-->|	Veralis (qwebirc@Rizon-93AEF9E.as13285.net) has joined #NEETadv
[22:30]	=-=	Ten_ has changed the topic to “4chan's easy place | Current thread: http://boards.4chan.org/adv/res/14092498 | 1st #NEETadv Support Group: In Progress, you can change your username by using the '/nick' command | there's also this place http://www.neetlyfe.net | <cpucake_13> I was once mistaken for a sexbot ”
[22:30]	Halloluwah	Someone told me to read that on 4chins, Roserade
[22:30]	Halloluwah	Melatonin, arc ?
[22:30]	Roserade	Yeah. I haven't cracked Borges yet, but I plan to do that once I finish Bonfire of the Vanities.
[22:31]	arc	That is a word I am not familiar with.
[22:31]	Octopus	I'm Octopus. My Therapists and Psychiatrists don't even know how to diagnose me they just kind of stare with a "that person is crazy" look on their faces. I mean well though.
[22:31]	Halloluwah	There can be some not so good translations of Borges.
[22:32]	Halloluwah	arc: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/tc/melatonin-overview
[22:32]	Porygon	Title | Melatonin-Overview | www.webmd.com
[22:32]	kurokona	hiking and people-watching really help me a lot.
[22:32]	arc	Octopus, I'm rather disappointed that you didn't write that in the third person.
[22:32]	Ten_	How does people watching help?
[22:32]	Roserade	It's good to meet you, Octopus.
[22:32]	Ten_	Like watching their mannerisms and how they interact?
[22:32]	Octopus	I'm trying not to abuse the /me command in honor of the support group.
[22:33]	arc	It gives you a certain charm, though
[22:33]	nystfud	dont go changin
[22:33]	nystfud	just to please meee
[22:34]	Ten_	Veralis if you're catching up with the support group here's the part that you missed http://pastebin.com/L8DmbN8R
[22:34]	Porygon	Title | [22:00] Ten_ The first #NEETadv support group begins now! [22:00] Ten_ First of - Pastebin.com | pastebin.com
[22:34]	arc	Halloluwah: Hm yeah, I likely do have some sort of sleep disorder among other things. I'm always oversleeping and never have a sane sleep schedule. Maybe I should look into supplements then.
[22:34]	Roserade	Aw.
[22:35]	Ten_	Cpucake_13 did you want to introduce yourself?
[22:35]	Ten_	I don't want to skip over anyone before moving onto the discussion part
[22:35]	cpucake_13
[22:35]	kurokona	cpu is a sexbot
[22:35]	Ten_	if you don't want to that's ok haha
[22:36]	kurokona	www
[22:36]	kurokona	rubs on cpucake_13
[22:36]	cpucake_13	I'm trying to think of something to say
[22:36]	Roserade	You can start with your username.
[22:37]	cpucake_13	What about my user name?
[22:37]	Halloluwah	I've been told too many times it is the best sleep habit cure, arc
[22:37]	Roserade	More of a bridge to a bit about you.
[22:37]	Roserade	Then I dunno. What you do for a hobby.
[22:37]	Roserade	Whatever works for you.
[22:38]	Veralis	Okay i'm all caught up now (regarding what was in the pastebin link)
[22:38]	Ten_	Melatonin is weird, as in, you can see benefit at one dosage but nothing at another. Some people respond well to low doses while others only high. It's hard to gauge.
[22:39]	arc	Hard to say whether the sleep thing is an actual issue or simply a symptom of my apathy, though.
[22:39]	cpucake_13	I guess let me complete freezing up and awkwardness serve as an example of how my daily social interactions usually go: lots of freezing up, lots of anxiety, and eventually awkward silence.
[22:39]	cpucake_13	*let my
[22:41]	kurokona	insomnia can lead to depression and vice-versa
[22:41]	cpucake_13	I have PTSD, OCD, AvPD, and some stuff I can't remeber right now...I stared the thread and channel in hopes of taking over the world, I mean, finding and helping other people like me.
[22:42]	Ten_	Anxiety was my first point of discussion actually so I guess we can get into that if Veralis doesn't want to introduce his/her self.
[22:42]	cpucake_13	And I was head of Gestapo for 10 years...I mean 5 years......Heh heh, nein, I was not head of gestapo at all..... >.>
[22:42]	cpucake_13	(sorry, had to add that)
[22:42]	kurokona
[22:42]	Ten_	ha
[22:42]	Veralis	I could, but if we're already onto discussion rather than introductions I wouldn't want to interrupt anyone.
[22:43]	Roserade	Don't behead yourself.
[22:43]	Ten_	nope still in introduction mode, take your time Veralis
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[22:44]	arc	kurokona, indeed. Half the reason I sleep is because I have nothing better to do, but at the same time I have such low energy levels I can barely last half a day without ending up dead tired. Meh.
[22:44]	Halloluwah	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEle_DLDg9Y
[22:44]	Porygon	YouTube | Mitchell & Webb Nazis | 02:50 | 616,874 views | 99%
[22:44]	Halloluwah	really sorry
[22:44]	kurokona	insomnia is easier to fix though
[22:45]	Halloluwah	but muh peep show
[22:45]	kurokona	the key is to use your room for sleep only, stick to a schedule and don't do anything 2 hours before you nap
[22:45]	kurokona	and no compy/phone in your room
[22:45]	kurokona	ever
[22:45]	Halloluwah	Don't stay in your bed trying to sleep unless you are tired. If you are feeling restless get out of bed until you are tired
[22:45]	kurokona	this is really important
[22:46]	arc	That does sound solid... and like it takes an immense amount of effort/willpower to stick to.
[22:46]	Roserade	Would storing your electronic devices in a box in your room be a good idea?
[22:46]	kurokona	depression can happen for a lot of reasons
[22:47]	kurokona	but insomnia is almost usually due to bad sleep habits
[22:47]	Roserade	I can take that into account.
[22:49]	cpucake_13	Having an actual "put away" spot like a box might work, Roserade. Especially if you have no choice but to keep them in your room. It would be beneficial to have a shut-down sort of routine before bed, and make sure everything is off and put away before getting ready for bed.
[22:50]	Roserade	That sounds good.
[22:51]	cpucake_13	I put tinfoil in my windows to block out light too.
[22:51]	Ten_	Roserade, how many hours a day do you spend writing?
[22:51]	Ten_	I have black out curtains as well, I can't sleep with lights on at all
[22:52]	Roserade	About 4-8 hours a day.
[22:52]	cpucake_13	Unfortunately the tinfoil doesn't block out anything else but light because tv networks are still developing shows that are disturbingly similar to ideas I've had. I can only assume Rupert Murdoch and Ted Turner are still gorging themselves on my brainwaves...
[22:52]	Veralis	So i've just written an introduction about my experience with depression. But it's basically now an essay.
[22:53]	Roserade	I tend to intermix my writing with podcasts, so it can take longer than that.
[22:53]	cpucake_13	Do you mean you make podcasts?
[22:53]	nystfud	Veralis: I'd read it
[22:53]	Ten_	I'd read it too
[22:53]	cpucake_13	Veralis: I would too
[22:53]	Roserade	More listening to podcasts, actually.
[22:54]	Veralis	i'll try to shorten it a little.
[22:54]	Roserade	I would read an essay like that.
[22:54]	cpucake_13	Oh no, it's better when it's raw emotion
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[22:54]	Ten_	Hey jak, you're right on time, I will pastebin the support group history for you
[22:54]	cpucake_13	Hi Jak
[22:55]	Roserade	hello Jak.
[22:55]	arc	Agreed, there's no reason to try and cut it down.
[22:55]	Jak___	hey guys
[22:55]	Jak___	long time no see cpu
[22:55]	Jak___	just got back from work
[22:56]	Ten_	http://pastebin.com/0ZB5EEtC
[22:56]	Porygon	Title | [22:00] Ten_ The first #NEETadv support group begins now! [22:00] Ten_ First of - Pastebin.com | pastebin.com
[22:56]	cpucake_13	Yeah, I've spent the past few days waiting for the bugs to clear up on 4chan so I could write a reply and say I was coming, but the bugs are apparently here to stay, aggravatingly.
[22:57]	cpucake_13	I can't even post a reply from my desktop, but at least I'm not the only one it seems
[22:58]	cpucake_13	I detest being forced into corners like that, but it seems like the only choice is to disable ad-blocker
[22:58]	nystfud	is it just /adv/ you have problems with?
[22:59]	cpucake_13	Hopefully I won't sound stupid if I say I didn't think to try anywhere else. I will though, brb
[22:59]	Halloluwah	yeah moot did some shit I'll bet
[23:00]	Jak___	alright then I read what I missed
[23:00]	Jak___	thanks ten
[23:00]	cpucake_13	nystfud: it does appear to be just /adv/
[23:00]	nystfud	I heard the "/adv/" part of the urls was catching in adblock's filter
[23:01]	Veralis	Essay inbound.
[23:01]	Macbot	their fucking inbound mailserver is worth the Johto theme
[23:01]	Veralis	My apologies.
[23:01]	Veralis	There's no death or disease or divorce or anything with me. I was diagnoses with depression about 2 years ago, I already knew I was but I was so scared of my parents finding out that I waited until I was 20 to do so; when I was at my lowest and desperately needed help.
[23:01]	Veralis	My depression started in my early teens, moving to a new school and losing all my friends was the initial spark. Along with that I had broken my arm that summer and couldn't do sports or anything either. I had real trouble making any friends at all and my grades started slipping from straight A's to C's and D's because I was unhappy and lonely. I wasn't bullied, but no one really noticed I even existed at all. I went from being the popular, spor
[23:01]	Veralis	all rounder to a loner and a loser.
[23:02]	Veralis	Being a perfectionist, not being able to be top of the class or do anything well was a huge blow. Eventually I stopped trying all together. I failed my A levels and left high school with nothing but an average education, qualifying me to work in McDonalds for the rest of my life. At that point, I decided to end it. I'd become a failure, a loser. Something I never wanted. I went out on a saturday morning, bought a rope from the store down the roa
[23:02]	Veralis	abandoned farm nearby. I fashioned a noose, tied it to a beam, climbed on a box and hung myself. I hung there for about a minute, I was blacking out. I couldn't breathe, there was nothing but the feel of that rope around my neck. Suddenly, I crashed to the ground. The beam had broken and I was lying in a heap on the floor.
[23:02]	Veralis	I couldn't bring myself to try again. After a few months of my parents nagging me to do something with my life I decided to go to college to do Games Design, which was the worst mistake of my life. Although I got top marks, what we were being taught was useless. But I thought, maybe if I just get through this and go to university it will be better. So I did.
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[23:02]	Veralis	University was the final blow, I met people who were so much further ahead of me in terms of skill and talent that I saw no chance of being successful in such a competitive industry. My depression took me over completely, and I dropped out.
[23:02]	Veralis	At this point, I told my parents and I went to the doctors, saw a psychiatrist, got therapy, got pills. The lot. After about a year I wasn't so depressed that I couldn't function. And it's been like that since then. I've been unemployed for a year and a half (I only ever had a part time job in a kitchen) and I now spend my days playing video games and being moderately okay in my monotony.
[23:03]	kurokona	I felt that way at Berkeley sometimes
[23:03]	kurokona	iktfb
[23:04]	kurokona	but mostly I was too busy just trying to stay afloat to get depressed
[23:04]	Roserade	I...
[23:04]	Roserade	I need a moment. Excuse me.
[23:04]	kurokona	then one day I just burned out and stopped caring about anything
[23:04]	kurokona	took a leave of absence, suffered a nervous breakdown and became NEET for 4 1/2 years
[23:05]	Veralis	That's a moderately, somewhat brief recap of the past 9 years of my life I guess.
[23:06]	Veralis	Do you do anything that isn't work related kurokona?
[23:06]	kurokona	what do you mean?
[23:06]	Veralis	As in, hobbies and such.
[23:07]	kurokona	I enjoy hiking and people-watching, building models, watching anime and collecting shiny things :3
[23:08]	Veralis	People-watching?
[23:08]	kurokona	I used to play video games when I was younger, but suddenly lost interest a few years back
[23:08]	kurokona	yeah, people-watching
[23:08]	arc	Quite the essay.
[23:09]	kurokona	it's oddly soothing and sometimes I'll draw someone's portrait
[23:09]	arc	I've been through a similar experience with school, which led to my dropping out.
[23:09]	nystfud	I've definitely been in those "if I can't succeed here, fuck it" situations, too
[23:10]	Veralis	Indeed nyst. If I find someone who's far better than me in something I just stop trying completely.
[23:10]	kurokona	it wasn't about not succeeding for me
[23:10]	kurokona	I know I would have made it eventually
[23:11]	kurokona	in my case I literally burned out from overstress and overwork
[23:11]	Ten_	Veralis, that's a hell of a life, you've been through a lot. I'm glad you're still alive after all of that.
[23:11]	nystfud	^ kurokona: that sounds familiar
[23:11]	kurokona	I was sleeping 3 hours a week at one point
[23:11]	cpucake_13	I understand the not succeeding thing, it bothered me too but I didn't realize at the time
[23:12]	kurokona	it was trully hellish and sometimes I had these wierd hallucinations
[23:12]	kurokona	but at that point I came with some of 4chan's best known meems
[23:12]	Veralis	I don't know, I don't feel like it's anything to complain about. People have had family members die, or have terminal illnesses so it makes sense for them to be unhappy/depressed. But for me I just feel like a whiner.
[23:12]	cpucake_13	I agree with Ten, i'm glad that you're still here Veralis
[23:12]	kurokona	I'm not going to say which ones though
[23:13]	kurokona	no Veralis it's OK to be selfish and want things
[23:13]	Ten_	I can understand giving up when you see people that are vastly superior to you in your field. I'm a programmer as well and I deal with that every day. There are always going to be people out there that can code circles around you. You just have to stay focused on yourself and forget about their superior skill, it's easier said than done but you can't keep putting yourself down when you...
[23:13]	Ten_	...compare yourself to your peers.
[23:13]	kurokona	very yes
[23:14]	kurokona	those people usually have flaws too
[23:15]	kurokona	like some of those rock star programmers can't even dress themselves
[23:15]	Veralis	I try not to judge others, well, at least not any more.
[23:16]	cpucake_13	I have a lot of "dramatic" people in my life, and I think my greatest source of anger is when their petty little demands intrude into my attempts to even do averagely well academically. It seems every time I have an exam, some dramabomb explodes at my mother's job.
[23:16]	kurokona	I just tune those people out
[23:17]	kurokona	save the stress for truly stressful things
[23:17]	kurokona	like an earthquake or a zombie apocolypse
[23:18]	nystfud	there were times when I think I would have preferred an earthquake to an exam, haha
[23:20]	Ten_	Veralis, do you think you will be able to start coding or pursuing your interests again?
[23:22]	Jak___	im so sorry guys i keep passing out
[23:22]	Veralis	I was never a coder, quite literally design. As in the artsy fartsy 3D stuff. But no, I'll never do it again. I don't really have any interests to pursue
[23:22]	Ten_	I spent my first NEET year drowning myself in escapism, it worked for awhile, but it's a temporary band-aid to profound problem.
[23:22]	Jak___	ill read the paste bin tommorow im sorry guys
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[23:22]	kurokona	rip
[23:22]	Veralis	Escapism has worked for the past 9 years for me, minus the occasional hiccup,
[23:24]	cpucake_13	I agree with that. I try to use escapism to my advantage though.
[23:24]	Ten_	I still do it from time to time though, like I will just stop coding for a week and just game or stream anime/ TV shows.
[23:24]	arc	Or sleep...
[23:24]	cpucake_13	Like turn it into a vacation from life, but truthfully it usually gets away from me and suddenly it's 6am and then sun's coming up and there went my schedule, lol.
[23:24]	Ten_	But then I start feeling guilty and depressed and anxious so I get back into it again
[23:25]	Ten_	back into coding I mean
[23:25]	Roserade	Pardon me. But I think I am getting sleepy.
[23:25]	kurokona	I never understood escapism, why not just take the pain now rather than later
[23:25]	Roserade	Have a good night, anons.
[23:25]	Veralis	it's 4:30am here right now.
[23:25]	Veralis	night
[23:25]	nystfud	goodnight
[23:25]	kurokona	nn~
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[23:26]	cpucake_13	Crap, i missed her
[23:26]	cpucake_13	Belatedly bye, Roserade!
[23:27]	nystfud	I feel at my best when I'm working on something, even when I'm not employed.
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[23:27]	nystfud	I just usually don't feel like working on something.
[23:27]	cpucake_13	Kuro: for me, it's not procrastinating from pain, but more dealing with fallout, like anger or emotions I can't aim anywhere else.
[23:27]	Halloluwah	oh shit this is almost over
[23:28]	Halloluwah	what
[23:28]	Ten_	nystfud, I feel exactly the same way
[23:28]	Ten_	I feel great when I'm working towards something and being productive but I have a problem getting started and end up wasting several hours a day with distractions before I can focus
[23:28]	cpucake_13	Halloluwah: meh, we can keep going
[23:28]	Ten_	I haven't even touched my discussion topics yet
[23:29]	arc	I used to feel like that about projects but eventually just ended up burnt out and feeling like doing nothing at all.
[23:29]	kurokona	flips up cpucake_13's skirt
[23:29]	kurokona	:333
[23:29]	cpucake_13	No. Bad. Bad Kurokona.
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[23:30]	kurokona	Hmm, I almost always calm down after analyzing the situation logically.
[23:30]	cpucake_13	Besides, I'm wearing my snazzy new pajama pants anyway.
[23:30]	kurokona	I'm guessing that's a no-go?
[23:30]	Halloluwah	I'm going to a partial day hospital starting monday
[23:30]	kurokona	new-pjs!
[23:30]	cpucake_13	Halloluwah: for anxiety?
[23:30]	kurokona	pulls down cpucake_13's pjs
[23:30]	Ten_	arc, that's when I just stop everything and play games or watch crap for a few days straight, burning out is inevitable
[23:31]	cpucake_13	No.
[23:31]	kurokona	nice style!
[23:31]	Halloluwah	Mood swings.
[23:31]	Halloluwah	Anger, anxiety, depression
[23:31]	cpucake_13	You're disrespecting my authority.
[23:31]	arc	Pretty much, but when that feeling doesn't subside for 4+ years... Not the best situation to be in.
[23:32]	Halloluwah	>>tfw no onesies
[23:32]	kurokona	I'm not...
[23:32]	cpucake_13	My building is so tropically warm, i'd melt in onesies
[23:32]	kurokona	kneels down in front of cpucake_13
[23:32]	Veralis	So were there going to be conversational topics or are we just having a nice, friendly chat?
[23:33]	Ten_	ugh, that's not good arc, feeling burnt out for 4 years has to wear down your psyche
[23:33]	Veralis	kurokona could you not, it's making me cringe reading that shit.
[23:33]	Ten_	yeah veralis I will go through some of my discussion topics
[23:33]	cpucake_13	I just read on wikipedia too about how they heat this building and it's a steam by-product of some nefarious thing the university is up to. Not nuclear, but it was something unusual.
[23:33]	Halloluwah	I don't know why I am going to this program or what I am doing after it
[23:33]	Ten_	Anxiety is a problem for me and I'm sure it is for many of you. How much of a problem is it in your day to day life? Do you feel it is holding you back from the things you want to do? If you have overcome anxiety please share your methods or knowledge to possible benefit others with the same problem.
[23:34]	Halloluwah	I'm doing pretty good all things considered
[23:34]	nystfud	<img src=guy in tinfoil hat wearing I BEAT ANXIETY t-shirt.jpg>
[23:34]	Halloluwah	Yeah. And mistakes made in the past because of anxiety only make it harder to do today
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[23:35]	Ten_	Any family gatherings are a shit fest for me when it comes to anxiety. All of my siblings are successful and well employed except for me and they are all extremely opinionated and not afraid to let me know how they feel about what I do with my life.
[23:35]	kurokona	I think they do something similar in Sweden cpu
[23:36]	Ten_	I also get bouts of anxiety before sleeping if I try to go to sleep at a normal time
[23:36]	kurokona	they use the excess body heat from people and pump it to other buildings as a way to reduce heating costs
[23:36]	arc	Fancy well-prepared question. At this point I just never leave my house/room.
[23:37]	Ten_	For this I have found taking tylenol before bed works really well to reduce my anxiety levels and help me fall asleep.
[23:37]	Ten_	I prepared questions beforehand
[23:37]	cpucake_13	I leave as little as possible, once a week my mother drives me to get groceries, but I also have to go shopping with her because she hates shopping by herself.
[23:38]	cpucake_13	Just regular tylenol?
[23:38]	Ten_	yeah, might be extra strength I'm not sure
[23:38]	Ten_	but for some reason it helps
[23:38]	Ten_	just eases my tension I think
[23:38]	kurokona	cpu can you nurse me back to health
[23:38]	cpucake_13	Ooh, I have extra stregnth too.
[23:38]	kurokona	I'm sick with the flu and my head hurts...
[23:39]	nystfud	ibuprofen worked for me occasionally when I'd arbitrarily wake up in the middle of the night anxious
[23:39]	kurokona	no relpys
[23:39]	cpucake_13	Be glad it's just a flu, there's a measles outbreak here
[23:39]	Veralis	I am not anxious for some things but I am for others. It's situational I suppose. Anything related to work or education makes me shit myself in fear and apprehension. But I can go out to a club, get drunk and go back with a girl and have sex if I want to forget my problems for a few hours.
[23:39]	Veralis	Not that I go clubbing very often.
[23:39]	cpucake_13	I think i'm lagging, my internet gets throttled down and room-mate is playing a game I think
[23:40]	kurokona	cpu can u unban me from the other NEET channel
[23:41]	Veralis	I'm terrified of working, I've never had a full time job. And what if I can't even do something basic anymore like working in a warehouse? If I failed at something like that I think I'd just drop into a deep depression again.
[23:41]	kurokona	measles sounds painful...
[23:41]	Veralis	Which is probably why i'm anxious about it. All the "what if's?"
[23:41]	cpucake_13	I'd have to find out what you did to get banned first, but shh. That stuff is for after the support group.
[23:41]	kurokona	I think you should just focus on doing the best you can.
[23:41]	cpucake_13	Very True
[23:41]	Ten_	Veralis, I can relate, being out of the workforce for more than 4 years now has me nervous as well, I'm even more anti authoritarian than I was before and I don't know how well I'm going to function with bosses I don't like ordering me around.
[23:42]	kurokona	keep in mind that companies discriminate against the unemployed, even if they are the best candidates
[23:42]	Macbot	Stryyker, just keep in mind ssds are going to require more privacy
[23:42]	Veralis	I definitely can't stand people with more authority than they can handle. Or who think they're better than you because of their position.
[23:43]	kurokona	it's nothing against you personally, it's a failure on the part of the company
[23:43]	cpucake_13	I can't take credit for it, my room-mate came up with it, but he said to imagine you're eating a giant chocolate-covered marshmallow elephant: you can only take tiny bites, you can't eat it all at once, so only worry about the bite you're currently chewing, then move on to the next.
[23:44]	nystfud	when I worked in a quick-service type restaurant, that was actually good, even though it was tiring and the pay was low
[23:44]	Macbot	martian: i didn't even have a real mac for years and the economy out, Thatcher wouldn't have needed
[23:45]	cpucake_13	I'm not even going to touch talking about problems with authority, lol. I just put all the anger to bed for the day and I don't want to wake it back up.
[23:45]	nystfud	there was room enough to get to know, and after a while, bs with, my coworkers, and even dealing with customers made me feel like my social life wasn't a total dead end
[23:45]	kurokona	it's pointless to whine about why someone is a bad or good boss
[23:46]	nystfud	though I worked with people who totally hated the customers part
[23:46]	kurokona	just suck it up and try to be professional
[23:47]	kurokona	I've seen co-workers go nuclear over similar circumstances and it's not pretty
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[23:47]	Ten_	I just want to work with a group of like minded people on a project we are all passionate about. If I could get a job like that I wouldn't have any problems.
[23:47]	Veralis	I know how it feels to be on the service end, so now I do my utmost to not be that "asshole" customer.
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[23:47]	cpucake_13	I've got some experience from my parents being unpredictable alcoholics, but I find that dealing with difficult people in authority requires a touch of machiavellian flare.
[23:47]	kurokona	you need to learn how to deal with assholes too
[23:48]	arc	That sounds like it would be nice, Ten_.
[23:48]	kurokona	treat them like you would want to be treated and it usually works out
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[23:48]	Ten_	I don't know if I'll ever learn, I can't help myself when an asshole starts throwing their weight around.
[23:48]	cpucake_13	I agree with you there
[23:49]	cpucake_13	I *know* it's a problem I have
[23:49]	Ten_	But I know what you're saying kuroko, eventually if you're going to operate with society you're going to have to keep your mouth shut
[23:49]	cpucake_13	I just don't know how to deal with it
[23:50]	kurokona	are you hotheaded
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[23:51]	kurokona	I'm really calm and quiet and people usually say I'm very nice to talk to, like Mr Rogers
[23:51]	cpucake_13	I tried being a shoulder to cry on for some asshole-type people, and i was incredibly surprised to discover that some of them will almost literally suck out your soul and still not be satisified with the amount of time, care, and symptathy they've reiceved from you.
[23:51]	Ten_	I can be at times, but I try to keep a calm demeanor, but once I get pushed past a certain point there's no going back.
[23:52]	kurokona	I think everyone is like that Ten
[23:52]	cpucake_13	Learning that broke my entire world-view.
[23:52]	kurokona	nobody likes being used as a doormat
[23:52]	kurokona	cpucake there are good people still
[23:53]	kurokona	not everyone is out for themselves only
[23:53]	Veralis	cpucake, it's not so much they're doing it on purpose. A lot of people lack self-awareness of how their actions affect others.
[23:53]	cpucake_13	I agree with Ten: I'm usually good until a certain point.
[23:54]	kurokona	I guess just walk away if it gets that bad
[23:55]	cpucake_13	Kuro: I'm actually finding that's true, but I used to scoff at the whole "sympathy vampire" idea, but no, it's true, they exist. Now I just need to figure out how to spot them before they attach themselves to me.
[23:55]	kurokona	never heard of sympathy vampires
[23:55]	Ten_	If anyone wants me to drop more topics let me know.
[23:55]	kurokona	are they like girls who use guys as emotional bfs only
[23:55]	kurokona	?
[23:55]	Ten_	Since things are winding down
[23:56]	kurokona	I know a few d00ds who've had the bad luck of suffering such a fate
[23:56]	cpucake_13	Veralis: I know what you mean, I'm currently thinking that maybe people like that never advance past a certain level of maturity? Like maybe they're permanently stuck at 12 yrs old emotionally, and just never emotionally develop further.
[23:58]	Ten_	Have you been addicted to something to the point where it's negatively impacting your daily life? Did you overcome this addiction or find a way to moderate it to a point where it's maintainable?
[23:58]	Ten_	Might as well drop one more topic before it's over
[23:59]	kurokona	I was addicted to the Internet when I was a NEET
[23:59]	Macbot	I was a NEET for once it doesn't suck as much.
[23:59]	tenari	hello
[23:59]	tenari	i have
[23:59]	arc	Does being addicted to sleep count?
[23:59]	tenari	whiskey
[23:59]	kurokona	spent 24 hours a day online
[23:59]	cpucake_13	Nope. I've never had an addiction >.>
[00:00]	arc	Me neither, really. I don't stay interested in anything long enough to develop one.
[00:00]	cpucake_13	There's totally not boxes full of stuff i've gone mad and purchased.
[00:00]	kurokona	it was pretty bad until I had to quit cold-turkey by cancelling the web
[00:00]	Veralis	cpucake_13: It's not so much emotional maturity, it's just that if no one has ever done it to them they just don't understand that they're doing it. More of a thought of "Why aren't you helping me with my problems? You're a jerk"
[00:00]	kurokona	then I went through some bad withdrawals for about 6 months
[00:00]	arc	Oh wait shit I do that.
[00:01]	Veralis	Unless playing video games all day to pass the time is an addiction, no. Never had any drug problems or anything.
[00:01]	kurokona	over time I slowly weaned myself back online and now I can go on/offline at will
[00:01]	arc	... does it still count as an addiction if you rarely bother opening the boxes of stuff? >.>
[00:01]	Ten_	I was addicted to WoW from 2004-2006, I slept for 2 - 3 hours a day and barely ate, stopped taking care of myself, looked like shit and felt like shit but didn't care because I was 100% hooked. I think the only reason I was able to break out of it was because I finally got bored of it and the people that made it fun had mostly left by then.
[00:02]	kurokona	it's just a matter of timing yourself and learning how to just tune off
[00:02]	kurokona	in those days I would eat sleep everything at my computre
[00:03]	kurokona	I never really got bored of the Internet
[00:03]	kurokona	I just learned to control myself
[00:03]	kurokona	in fact I've grown more and more fascinated over time
[00:04]	kurokona	the really cool stuff, like AR and fiber isn't even mainstream yet
[00:04]	Ten_	I don't know what I will do if I ever got bored of the Internet. That would be a depressing day if it ever happened.
[00:04]	cpucake_13	I never *never* talk about it, but I had a "traumatic event" happen a few years ago and afterards I started collecting stuffed animals. And it got out of hand. Like $1000 dollars, hundreds of items, 3 parcels arriving daily for six months out of hand.
[00:04]	kurokona	just wait until we have holographic irc
[00:04]	kurokona	I think that will blow your minds
[00:04]	cpucake_13	Now I am safe and secure in my fortress of fluff.
[00:05]	kurokona	:3
[00:05]	arc	Huh. One might say I act like I'm addicted to the internet because I literally do nothing else but sit at a computer all day. For the most part that's just me staring at thing things I need to get done and doing none of them, though.
[00:05]	arc	-thing
[00:05]	kurokona	arc you might need something to push you to get things done
[00:05]	Veralis	Same here arc, but the difference is I have nothing to actually do instead.
[00:06]	kurokona	like a alarm clock-like device that won't turn off until things get done
[00:06]	kurokona	BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
[00:06]	arc	At this point it's almost like there's nothing to do. Abandoned projects I just feel like I'm responsible to finish but no one cares anymore, etc.
[00:07]	Ten_	What kind of projects are you working on arc?
[00:07]	Veralis	An example of me playing video games all day. I bought "The Secret World" when it went on sale on Steam, 3 days ago. I've already clocked in 45 hours.
[00:08]	Ten_	Yeah, that's alot of hours to drop in 3 days, damn.
[00:08]	arc	A fan translation or two, a "business" I was supposed to be working on...
[00:09]	cpucake_13	What was the business?
[00:09]	tenari	the whiskey makes my hands a little shakier
[00:09]	Ten_	tenari you're drinking whiskey again tonight?
[00:10]	Ten_	were you hung over this morning from last night?
[00:10]	kurokona	veralis that sounds like video game addiction
[00:10]	tenari	severely
[00:10]	tenari	ten im just finishing the bottle
[00:10]	tenari	lol
[00:10]	Ten_	ugh, make sure you drink some water so you don't feel like total crap tomorrow
[00:10]	cpucake_13	tenari: try drinking more water while you're drinking, it'll help the hangover
[00:10]	arc	cpucake_13: Making games, mobile and indie.
[00:10]	tenari	i felt like horrid death in the morning which is funny because i had an apt with my visual impairment job counselor
[00:11]	tenari	i wonder if he noticed that i felt like death
[00:11]	Veralis	When I went to University, I didn't play video games at all though. Just didn't touch the computer other than for work. So I know I can just not, if I had something else to do.
[00:11]	tenari	lol
[00:11]	cpucake_13	Ten, lol simulataneous
[00:12]	kurokona	arc make any crappy flappy bird clones yet
[00:12]	cpucake_13	arc: it sounds interesting, why did you quit?
[00:12]	kurokona	I'm currently trying to make an irl-version
[00:12]	cpucake_13	Real life angry birds?
[00:13]	Ten_	Veralis, if you ever feel like getting into web development let me know. I can help you out and give you tangible projects to work on.
[00:13]	cpucake_13	won't that break some animal cruelty laws?
[00:13]	kurokona	flappy birds not angry birds
[00:13]	cpucake_13	oh okay
[00:13]	arc	I ended up writing a partially-functional game engine and a test game for it and kinda burnt out / got tired / unmotivated / etc. quickly after.
[00:14]	arc	I was already feeling like that before I started though, from having previous projects unfinished, so it was probably destined to fail.
[00:14]	kurokona	right now it's basically a crappy failure
[00:14]	kurokona	with no sound effects
[00:14]	cpucake_13	Do you get depressed after you've finished a big project?
[00:14]	Veralis	Ten_ I did a little web development in college, just basic html and css stuff and we touched on php but not really. And I got ridiculously angry at it because of the whole doing something and having no idea why it doesn't work. And then when it does work, having no idea why it is now working.
[00:15]	arc	I rarely finish anythng
[00:15]	cpucake_13	that's a good way to keep the depression away
[00:15]	Ten_	I can help you if you want to take another shot at it. Send me an e-mail at ten@revenantblue.com and I will give you a list of things to get together to get started.
[00:16]	arc	Probably the best thing for my psyche would be to consider everything I've ever done to be abandoned/done/etc. and just move on, start fresh.
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[00:16]	Veralis	Is it not useless unless I have an actual qualification?
[00:16]	cpucake_13	Starting fresh can be invigorating
[00:16]	arc	It's hard to do that though, I feel strangely obligated to still be involved.
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[00:17]	Ten_	Portfolio is everything in that field from my experience, if you have a decent portfolio and are able to use common CMS software like wordpress and drupal you can get a job in any city
[00:18]	cpucake_13	Would there be a way for us to help people build up their portfolios?
[00:18]	cpucake_13	well, NEETs specifically
[00:18]	tenari	you can take a horse to water but you cannot make him drink
[00:18]	kurokona	^
[00:19]	Ten_	Well, I have a few personal projects that I work on that he could use if he assisted me.
[00:19]	tenari	if you offer to teach a man how to fish he will still listen to the dude that offers him a free fish
[00:19]	kurokona	tenari is on fire tonight
[00:20]	tenari	fireballs
[00:20]	Veralis	analogies out the ass
[00:20]	tenari	.help
[00:20]	Ten_	And from there you he can probably volunteer to build up the rest of his portfolio
[00:20]	tenari	~help
[00:20]	cpucake_13	Yeah, the problem with us NEETs being involved in a project is we all have lives outside of the project and various negative factors in our lives can intrude and impede our ability to complete our portions
[00:20]	tenari	gah, what's that bots thingy
[00:20]	Ten_	?help
[00:20]	Macbot	help me find out when I read hearts of iron
[00:20]	tenari	?ud fireball
[00:20]	Macbot	new ud say that
[00:20]	tenari	fuck you macbot
[00:20]	Macbot	80s Films: "Mister, if you don't shut up, to you for the downtime we have caused you all enough problems this year
[00:21]	kurokona	yeah, when you are dealt with a bad hand there's only so much you can do...
[00:21]	kurokona	still, there are people that have accomplished so much with almost nothing
[00:21]	kurokona	it gives me hope for the future
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[00:22]	cpucake_13	The obvious solution of eliminating everyone's negative influences in their lives isn't as easy as it sounds. Although if my university education falls through i'd totally be up for getting hired to kill everyone's parents!
[00:23]	Ten_	oh boy
[00:23]	Ten_	let's hope you university education doesn't fall through!
[00:23]	Ten_	your*
[00:23]	cpucake_13	Of course, if I had the funds, I could just kidnap them and re-educate them Manson-style...
[00:23]	cpucake_13
[00:23]	kurokona	w0w
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[00:24]	tenari	ohai tenbot
[00:24]	cpucake_13	Hi tenbot
[00:24]	tenari	!replyrate 1.0
[00:25]	tenbot	Reply rate is set to 1.0%
[00:25]	tenari	!replymagic 25
[00:25]	tenbot	Reply rate to magic words is set to 25.0%
[00:25]	tenari	the magic word is neet
[00:25]	tenari	carry on
[00:25]	arc	That word might come up a bit often.
[00:26]	Ten_	Well we're almost 30 minutes over time, I'm really glad so many people showed up. We'll have to do this again. Veralis and nystfud, I hope you guys hang around, the chat isn't always this focused but it can be a good outlet from time to time or if you just want to talk to a living person.