Reddit Hotel California

On a dark dusty laptop, sleek mouse in my hand
Warm smell of cat food, rising up through the air
Up ahead on the monitor, I saw a shimmering light
My clicks grew heavy and my sight grew dim
The last shit post for the night

There I saw on the screen;
A new ask reddit post
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then I checked the title,
and I saw (sa-aw) the shit
There were comments down the shit thread
I thought I saw them say...

Welcome to the shit post on the front page!
Such a dank-y place (such a dank-y place), such a dank-y face.
Plenty of room in the shitpost on the front page!
Anytime of year, you'll find karma here!

The gold got him Tiffany-twisted, he is Reddit obsessed
He got a lot of pretty, pretty accounts he calls friends
How they beg on the front page, sweet karma sweat.
Some post for upvotes, some post to regret

So I called up the Admin,
"Please read my reports"
He said, "We haven't listened to normies here, since nineteen sixty nine"
And still those reposts are spammed from far away,
9Gag stealing all throughout the night
Just to see them say...

Welcome to the shit post on the front page!
Such a dank-y place (such a dank-y place), such a dank-y face.
They livin' it up on reddits crazy front page
Did OP lie? bring your alibis!

Downvotes to the bottom,
The mods on thin ice
And we said "Why are you allowing reposts here, on our own device"
And in the admin's chambers,
They gathered for the gold
They hit bots with their ban hammer,
But their plan continues to unfold

Last thing I remember, watching
Snoo running for the door
As reposts pushed us back
To where we were before
"Too late, " said the admins,
"The bots programmed to deceive.
You can post original content,
But it will never be seen! "