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NP writes a Kris<3<Belona fic

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  1. Your name is Belona Corbin and you are ENRAGED.
  2. This is not unusual, but in this circumstance, perhaps some elaboration is required…
  3. You and the five other trolls that have been stuck in a glitched out SGRUB session have, through some cooperation between Diemca, Lalaos, and the human Space player, entered the (depressingly equally glitched) human session of SBURB.
  4. After the six of you joined up with the six xenos, however, the question soon came up: where would you all be staying? The respective leaders of both groups quickly decided to have one troll stay with one human each in their Lands as they try to beat this corrupted game.
  5. Once you realized that this was the plan, you pulled your fellow trolls aside, and practically demanded that one of them be the one to stay in the Land of Ice and Mazes. Unfortunately for you, the FILTHY DISGUSTING PEASANT HERETIC XENO Kris Randall’s reputation had preceded her, and none of the other trolls were willing to stay with her, all of them assuming you’d go with her to continue your- NO YOU ARE NOT BLACK FOR HER AND ANYONE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE IS GOING TO GET THEIR HEAD CRUSHED!
  6. You complain, you bitch, you do everything you can think of to get a different human: ANY other human would be a vast improvement.
  7. Eventually, you are able to swallow enough of your pride… to beg the other humans for one of them to take you in instead. However, their leader, the girl with the dogs, crushed any hope you might have had with her response: “Oh yeah… uh… Kris said that you might be feeling kinda shy about that whole… weird… really weird… hate-romance thing, but don’t worry about it! You’ll do fine!”
  8. What.
  9. WHAT.
  10. WHAT IN THE EMPRESS’S NAME?!?
  11. You… aren’t really sure how to respond to that. Worse, you’re not sure how to feel about the fact that Kris was already anticipating you trying to get away from her.
  12. The others make it incredibly and increasingly clear to you that it’s generally expected that you’ll be staying at Kris’s hive. Eventually, you expend every possible alternative, and head for the gate leading to the Land of Ice and Mazes, Kris having already left ahead of you ages ago.
  13. You arrive and
  14. And
  15. And what the fuck
  16. What the fuck is this?
  17. You have arrived in a room in Kris’s hive, the glowing spirograph of the gate behind you. So far, so normal. But looking around the room, you see what appear to be multiple stuffed versions of each of the humans, including a few of Kris herself. Ordinarily, seeing this many dead xenos would be nice, but… somehow, in this way, it just feels creepy.
  18. The feeling of creepiness doesn’t go away either, as the next dozen or so floors have at least one or two of the stuffed dead humans, before finally giving way to a rather large collection of animals given the same treatment. Their glassy stares are somehow more disturbing than the humans that had been on display earlier.
  19. After an uncomfortably long time, you finally make it to the ground floor. You haven’t seen any sign of Kris so far, for which you’ve been thankful, but the quiet of the hive, mixed with the stuffed animals, have left you at the very least willing to tolerate her presence if only to know something else in this nightmarish place smelling of formaldehyde, old fur, and dust is as alive as you are. You suppress a shudder and quash the feelings of revulsion, allowing a more familiar disgust to fill you. You don’t need her! In fact, this is practically a miracle from the Empress herself! If you can avoid the stupid boyish xeno heretic for the rest of your time on this miserable iceball, you’ll be the happiest troll left alive!
  20. You should have realized it was too good to be true, when you hear a knock at the front door.
  21. At this point in the horror movie, the audience would be yelling at you to not open the door. You don’t want to know what’s behind the door. It’s nothing good. Unfortunately for you, Alternia doesn’t really do horror movies, since every day there is already a life and death struggle. Because of this, you’re not really given the appropriate preparation for when you open the door and-
  22. Yep, it’s another stuffed Kris outside, right in front of the door.
  23. Who the HELL DOES THIS HERETIC THINK SHE IS??? IS SHE TRYING TO TAUNT YOU NOW?
  24. WELL JOKE’S ON YOU, IT’S ON, YOU FILTHY STINKING ALIEN!
  25. You shove the dead Kris out of the way and rush out the door only to get a face full of snow. You splutter a bit and wipe the offending slush off your face, only to get pelted with several more snowballs. Still, you’re able to look at who would DARE TO THROW BALLS OF SNOW AT A SERVANT OF THE EMPRESS LIKE YOURSELF. Big surprise, it’s Kris.
  26. At this point though, your black little venom gland skips a beat. Her human mouth is the wrong shape to make the emoticon she’s so fond of, but the imperious smirk she’s giving you as she pats another snowball in her hands causes a similar wave of loathing to rise up in your chest, and you clench your hands tightly.
  27. Unfortunately, any display of hatred (COMPLETELY PLATONIC HATRED) you were planning on displaying is stopped short as you shudder. Kris is dressed warmly; a thick coat, a fur cap, gloves, warm pants, and boots keeping out the cold that your armor, while offering a stalwart defense from injury, isn’t quite able to keep from seeping in. This is made worse by the more insect-like biology of trolls, leaving you more susceptible to the freezing temperature than the IRRITATING PINK MONKEY IN FRONT OF YOU.
  28. As you attempt to rally forth again and yell at the xeno, she beats you to the punch and opens her mouth.
  29. “Hey there Bologna!” She raises a pair of binoculars to her eyes and looks at you. “Nice horns you got there! I almost missed them!”
  30. She didn’t.
  31. She did NOT. JUST. DO. THAT.
  32. You are not the most civil of trolls in the best of circumstances. But now? With her? After that?
  33. You’re going to fucking kill her.
  34. You shout and pull out your chainsword from your strife specibus, only to get another snowball to the face as she lets out a high pitched cackle that JUST MAKES YOU WANT TO RIP OUT HER ESOPHAGUS.
  35. “Hahahahaha! Come on and catch me, Bologna!” She runs off, taunting you the entire time. You shake your head and dislodge the majority of the snow, then tear off after her.
  36. The two of you run for several minutes, Kris managing to keep ahead of you the whole way. If it weren’t for all the snow and the cold, you’d have caught up with her already, but she’s lighter on her feet than you though, not to mention faster, knows the area better than you, and isn’t wearing heavy armor like you are.
  37. Neither of you tire. You’re still screaming obscenities at her as she laughs and cackles and cajoles you, further driving your hatred until all you’re able to think of is shearing her head from her shoulders, her filthy red blood spraying across white snow.
  38. So distracted are you, that when she rounds a corner behind a large snowbank, where one side simply drops off to a deep snowy valley, you aren’t able to quite make the turn, and slip onto your bottom. Your chainsword tears through the ice of the ledge you’re on as it slides to the edge, then goes over, falling rather a long way to the ground. You nearly follow it, scrambling for purchase.
  39. For a second, it seems like you can see yourself at the bottom of the drop, your arms and legs bent unnaturally, and your body unmoving. Before you end up joining your lost weapon however, a pair of hands grab the back of your armor’s neck-guard, choking you a bit, but keeping you from falling.
  40. Once you’re no longer in danger of falling, you turn to see your savior, indignation at having to be helped already boiling-
  41. You’re hit with another snowball to the face.
  42. “Come on, you clumsy bitch! It’s no fun if you’re not going to chase me!”
  43. Your enraged scream causes an avalanche nearby, but neither you nor Kris is aware of it. She taunts you again, sticking her pink tongue out at you, and runs off again. You climb back to your feet and run after her, your eyes vision going a bit blue from rage. You vow to come back for your chainsword after you TURN THAT XENO SCUM HERESY-LOVING BITCH INTO A FINE RED PASTE.
  44. Up ahead, you see Kris duck into one of the many mazes that this Land is also named for. You skid to a stop as you enter, the path splitting left and right immediately. So deeply enraged are you, that you don’t notice her tracks in the snow. Instead, feeling in NO mood to deal with puzzle-bullshit, you back up a fair ways away, then charge forward, simply ramming through the ice wall of the maze, and continuing on through the next wall.
  45. And the next one.
  46. And the next one.
  47. And the next.
  48. And the one after that.
  49. Until finally you burst through the other end of the maze into an icy covered cavern, light filtering through the ice to illuminate the chamber…
  50. And again, you seem to see yourself skidding across the icy floor, and hitting the opposite wall with such force that you’re buried in several tons of ice and snow. You lay there for hours and hours, and by the time several brunette figures are able to dig you out of the snow, your vision is darkening… fading… and… you… are… too… numb… to… feel… her… ha…nds…on…yo…ur…a…r…m…
  51. Instead you blink as Kris grabs your arm and spins you around, redirecting your momentum. She’s apparently wearing a pair of ice skates instead of boots now, and she seems to be dancing with you for a moment. It all happens too quickly for you to react, and by the time you regain your wits and rage, she’s let go of you and you fall to the floor of the cavern.
  52. “Y’know, I don’t know how our hate-romance is going to work out if you’re just going to keep nearly getting yourself killed!” She cackles again, and skates away, where the cavern opens up out onto a frozen lake.
  53. You pick yourself up again, incoherent with hate-lust- NO JUST HATE. NO LUST AT ALL. FUCK YOU WHOEVER THINKS THERE’S ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT THAT… THAT… that…
  54. YOU’RE TOO ANGRY TO COME UP WITH A DESCRIPTOR FOR HER, FUCK YOU!
  55. Kris skates in a circle around the lake, until she’s on the opposite side from you. Just as you exit the cavern, she does that thing where she sticks her tongue out at you, this time making strange motions with her hands beside her head. You don’t need any xeno-cultural appreciation (not that this is a thing that you have anyway) to know it’s a taunt, and you rise to the challenge, charging across the frozen lake at her.
  56. Once again, your rage blinds you to what’s in front of you, however, and you never notice the different color of the ice, and you certainly don’t hear the cracks forming in the surface until it’s too late.
  57. With a loud splash, you fall through the ice into water, your heavy armor dragging you down as you struggle to get back up. You splutter and cough. Your arms, covered in droplets of water, feel even colder as the liquid starts to freeze in the open air. As you struggle, you feel something brush against you, a strange combination of several warm things that feel like bodies, and more than a few that are ice cold and, you can’t help but realize, have gray skin.
  58. As you’re pulled up out of the water and carried over and off of the frozen lake, you open your eyes. Your eyelashes are full of already freezing droplets of water, but you blink a few times and see
  59. You see…
  60. What the hell are you seeing?
  61. There are multiple Kris’s now, all wearing tasteful (… but strangely attractive? NO GET OUT STUPID THOUGHTS) one piece bathing suits and looking more than a little blue from frostbite. Behind you, trying to heat your body with her own, is the warmly dressed Kris.
  62. You ignore them for now and look at the hole where you fell in. A thin layer of ice is already forming, but you can still see them.
  63. You.
  64. Nearly a dozen of them.
  65. You shudder, and it’s not entirely from the cold this time. A hand tries to undo the clasps of your armor, bringing you out of any thoughts of mortality you might have been having as you struggle against a dozen brunette aliens, all trying to get you out of your clothes.
  66. “You idiot! Stop struggling, you have to get out of your wet clothes and into something warm or you’ll catch troll pneumonia or something.” You continue resisting, until something hard hits the back of your head, and before you lose consciousness, you manage to hear a brief conversation.
  67. “Well, she’s as hard-headed and difficult as usual.”
  68. “You know h-how she i-is…”
  69. “True! Well, have fun with the whole being Doomed, girls.”
  70. There is a chorus of cheerful but teeth-chattering “Okay!”s and then you know no more.
  71.  
  72. Your name is Belona Corbin, and you are just now waking up, feeling quite warm.
  73. You open your eyes, and find yourself seated in a well cushioned high-backed chair in front of a roaring fire, back in Kris’s hive. A thick and heavy blanket is wrapped around you, and you feel… light.
  74. With a start, you pull away the blanket to see that you’re no longer in your armor. Instead, a long black shirt with a picture of a decaying human skull on it and a pair of (admittedly warm) cotton pants have replaced it. You desperately look around the room, finding all your clothes and armor laying on the floor in front of the fire to dry.
  75. You feel humiliated. But warm.
  76. In fact, if it weren’t for the stupid alien that you just wish you could hold her head underwater until THE BUBBLES STOPPED this would actually be pretty pleasant. But something does seem to be missing-
  77. Your thoughts are interrupted by a hand shoving a steaming mug at you.
  78. “Here, it’s not tanna, but I find hot chocolate is better in these circumstances~” You don’t even have to look at her to know she’s wearing that same smirk. The lilt in her voice might be even worse though. You briefly entertain thoughts of rejecting the drink, but the smell of cocoa is just too tempting.
  79. You accept the mug, shooting the human a glare. She continues grinning, unperturbed.
  80. “So then! What’d you think?”
  81. “Think of what, human scum?” You don’t feel like playing any of her games, you feel bad enough as it is.
  82. “My monument to our hate, of course! It took a lot of time loops and doomed timelines to pull it off, but I think it went really well!”
  83. You feel another wave of loathing welling up.
  84. “Monument to- my hate for you is platonic! I don’t hate you that way!”
  85. She cackles again, and never. Stops. Smirking.
  86. “Aw, but I worked really hard to make sure you got to see how many times I let you die!”
  87. You stop.
  88. You remember all those near misses, and the bodies in the lake.
  89. You shudder again, and this time, it can’t be from the cold.
  90. But before you’re able to do anything or make sense of what’s going on, she’s on you, grabbing your horns. With a growl, fueled by rage, irritation, embarrassment, confusion, and maybe just a little frustration you bash your head into hers.
  91. She pulls back, crying out, and you see a thin line of red running down her forehead before she recovers, and suddenly starts punching you in the face. You barely feel the first blow, but the second will leave a bruise in a few hours, the third makes the bruise that much bigger, and the fourth causes you to accidentally bite your tongue, drawing blood.
  92. You grab her and throw her to the floor, where she lands uncomfortably because of your armor, and you pounce on top of her. You grab her wrists and…
  93. You realize you are straddling her, half a foot of room separating your faces from each other, and she’s. STILL. SMIRKING.
  94. And that part of your mind that screams at you that she’s an alien, that her blood is so low as to be off the hemospectrum, that she’s SO GODDAMN ANNOYING and that this is wrong just
  95. Quiets down as you pull her in for a hatesnog.
  96. It’s painful, both of you biting at each other the entire time, and you can feel that she’s licking at your tongue, tasting the blood still leaking from it.
  97. The two of you continue your sloppy make out session, until you finally pull away, getting back onto the comfy chair you were sitting in.
  98. You don’t need a mirror to tell you that your whole face is blue, but Kris just has to get in another barb, even as her own blush burned brightly.
  99. “Hah! You look like a blueberry!”
  100. It’s impossible not to laugh after you grab one of the stuffed rabbits nearby and throw it at her head, making her yelp and rub the side of her head.
  101. She eventually joins in on your laughter, and when the both of you stop, she gets up to clean up the mug of cocoa that you dropped without realizing it. Eventually, she rejoins you, this time with two cups. She hands you one, and you greedily gulp it down. She sits in another chair, sipping from her own cup.
  102. The two of you stay that way for a few hours.
  103.  
  104.