Smarty Disguise

>Be a fluffy pony abuser
>Friend who is foreman at dump talks about fluffy pony gangwars
>whyboner.jpg
>Ask if you could go there to mess with the ponies
>Foreman friend gets you to sign a waiver, introduces you to a coworker of his
>Quiet guy, but okay
>Quiet guy gives you a length of sharpened rebar, tells you he'll have better stuff to give you in a day or two
>You thank him and go to meet your destiny

>You're wearing a fluffy pony mask
>Read about a guy who tricked an entire herd of fluffies into drowning this way
>Awesome
>You go towards an area the quiet guy described as the most dominant herd in the area
>Very brutal group, have wiped out entire herds seemingly for sport
>You are hard as a fucking rock
>You carefully climb the junk heap up to the fluffies territory
>Spotted almost instantly, fluffy pegasi shout warnings to herd
>itbegins

>You yell 'Hi fwends!  Me fwuffy new fwuffy!  Want make wots of new fwends!'
>The pegasi puff out their cheeks and raise their wings
>'No fwend!  Big fwuffy go 'way!  Big fwuffy get big owies!'
>Other ragged fluffies join, shouting threats and growling
>Undeterred, you yell 'Nuu!  Fwuffy join herd!  Pwease wet fwuffy join!'
>A silver unicorn now joins the group on the ridge
>Mare on either side
>Even without the fluffies now chanting 'smawty fwend', you recognize this fwuffy from the quiet guy's briefing
>You smile under your mask
>The smarty friend begins barking orders at you
>'You!  Big fwuffy!  No stay here!  Dis our homes!  No fwuffy join our fwuffies!  You weave!'
>The fluffies cheer for their leader, jeering at you and blowing raspberries
>Finally, you begin your plan
>Pointing at the smarty friend, you yell, 'Me chawwenge smawty fwend!  Me not join herd, me WULE herd!'
>The silver unicorn is beside itself with rage
>Finally collects itself, orders two earth fluffies to give you 'big owies'
>You hadn't planned on killing more than one fluffy today, but you're happy to oblige


>The earth fluffies rush up to you and prepare to buck your legs
>You casually grab them by the scruff of their neck and toss them down the slope behind you
>One breaks its neck and dies instantly
>It's body limply rolls down the hill, coming to a rest near the bottom
>The other bounces as sickly crunching noises and wailing noises accompany each bounce
>This one lands at the bottom of the hill, it's spine a twisted mess and it's front leg bent at an odd angle
>It squeals for help, begging for huggies to stop the owies
>It draws the attention of a nearby rat
>Fluffy doesn't even realize it's being chewed on at first with it's paralyzed lower body
>The wet chewing noises and the realization that it's being dragged down a hole tip it off
>It screams in horror as it dissappears
>Pointing to the smarty friend again, you casually ask 'Why smawty no fight?  Why smawty scawwed?'
>It's cheeks puff out immensely
>It so mad
>'Fine!  You come up here!  Smawty no scawwed o big fwuffy!  Smawty stomp big fwuffy!'
>You trudge the last few steps up, your fury boner leading the way
>You are going to love every damn moment of this


>The fluffies have made a clearing for you and the smarty friend
>You gaze at all these fluffies, your 'new fwends'
>At least 45 adults, various types and degrees of filth
>Quiet guy explained the pecking orders to you, buy you'll have to reflect on that later
>There's a very angry little fluffy unicorn trying to shoot sparks at you
>You feign injury, whimpering, 'Ooohhh nooos, big spawk!  Scawy fwuffy!'
>The unicorn's eyes flash menacingly as it rushes towards you and begins biting your pantleg
>It's completely harmless, but still you let it have it's fun
>Eventually you tire of it's ineffectual attacks and the sounds of the fluffies as they cheer their leader
>Time to end this
>You pull out the sharpened rebar you were given by the quiet guy and pick up the silver unicorn by the scruff
>It struggles valiantly, screeching at you
>You place the rebar directly under it's 'no-nos', causing a good deal of its bravado to dissappate
>It stammers 'No do dat!  Stay 'way from no-nos!  No touch!'
>You lift him into the air, holding him carefully so the rebar doesn't move from it's spot
>In one brutal motion, you slam the smawty fwend down on the rebar and slam the rebar down through one of the mares that was with him a minute ago
>You step back to admire your work
>Silver fluffy impaled by on his gonads as the bloody tip sticks out from his upper back
>Queer whistling noises suggest you hit one of his lungs, blood oozing from his mouth as he stares horrified at nothing
>Fluffy mare wriggling weakly, pleading for help and huggies
>Other fluffies are now screaming and soiling themselves in horror
>You spread your arms and roar 'YOU AW AWW FWUFFIES CHIWDWEN NOW!'
>Fluffies scream more
>You look behind you and see the quiet guy watching you from a distance
>You wave
>He just stares impassively before dissappearing
>Huh.

>You are now the smarty friend of a herd of dump ponies
>Actually you're a guy in a mask who just brutally dispatched the herd's former smarty, but let's not mince words
>Fluffies finally stop crying enough to acknowledge you
>The other mare of the former smarty is the first to approach you
>She winks at you
>nope.avi
>'New smawty so stwong', she coos at you.  'My name Cawwol.  Smawty fwend want special huggies?' She winks at you again
>OHFUCKNO
>You are an abuser of the highest order, but you're no horsefucker
>That shit can stay at bronycon
>You think for a minute, then yell, 'No!  You no good fwuffy!  Smeww wike fishies!  Bad fwuffy no get smawty hugs!'
>Her jaw drops, rejection a complete unknown to her.  She starts to stammer for a moment before you cut her off
>'You!' You point to a ragged looking orange pegasus
>Torn ear, one eye swollen shut, he stares at you with fear and shits himself
>'You give special hugs to fish fwuffy!'
>The mare angrily snaps at the orange pegasus before you grab her by the scruff and push her nose to nose with the impaled mare from earlier
>'NO QUESTION SMAWTY FWEND!  WINGGY FWEND, HUGS NOW!'
>This is sick shit even for you, but you aren't giving 'special huggies' to anything and you need to make that clear
>You'll rule through tyranny, not your wang
>The orange pegasus slowly comes up behind the struggling mare and mounts her
>You hope to a god that probably doesn't want you that the pegasus is premature

>It's been a damn good day
>You sit upon a throne made from various refuse
>Fluffies fear and respect you
>No more 'special huggies' offers
>But it's getting late
>Your foreman friend wouldn't let you sleep in the dump
>You wouldn't want to sleep with these horrid little bastards anyways
>Devise a plan to escape, but to return to your little project tomorrow
>You stand, causing a scarlet unicorn to signal for attention
>'Smawty fwend weave you fo now!  Go get foodies!  Bwing back for fwuffy fwends!'
>They stomp and cheer for you in approval
>If it wasnt' for the two impaled fluffies in the middle of the camp, they'd probably love you completely
>Won't let them remove it though
>One tried
>You pounced on him in a shrieking frenzy, clasping his head between your hands and squeezing tightly
>He groaned in agony, begging for mercy and offering hugs in exchange for his life
>You hate hugs
>Keep squeezing til you feel his skull cave in
>Eyes squish out of sockets, brain leaks slowly out the nose and back of mouth
>Held the destroyed fluffy over your head promising the same fate to any who dare to move your 'battle standard'
>But enough reminiscing
>You make a stop off at the foodbank on the way home, then go home to shower and plan your day tomorrow





>Day two as human smarty friend
>Get to dump early, see quiet guy in corner in coffee room
>He nods to you as you sit down, offers you a cup of coffee
>You show him the food you brought, ask his opinion
>He explains the fluffy obsession about meat to you, says that a small piece of meat is worth all the non-meat in the bag
>You contemplate this, thank him for his input
>He offers you a couple of lambchops from his lunch
>Thank him, but inwardly wonder what this guy's deal is
>Quiet guy gestures at a clock on the wall, says the fluffies rise with the sun and that you should hurry
>You don your disguise and go forth to greet your subjects

>Fluffies are asleep as you sneak into the herds 'camp'
>Battle standard undisturbed
>Excellent
>You see the scarlet unicorn from yesterday sleeping on your throne
>You already know who's gonna die first today
>You creep up on top of the scarlet one and whisper, 'Hey.'
>His eye slowly opens, peering up at you
>'Who say you sweep on smawty chaiw?' you inquire
>He tenses and opens his other eye, shivering slightly but remaining silent
>You repeat your question, only with more malice
>Tears are forming in his eyes as he tries to squirm away
>His little brain is programmed to forage, not play such games
>Other fluffies are slowly waking up and watching you
>You wrench the scarlet fluffy from your throne and roar into his face
>'WHO SAY YOU SWEEP ON SMAWTY CHAIW?!  FWUFFY ASK YOU QUESTION!  WHY FWEND NO ANSWER!?'
>It wiggles and openly weeps, a stream of shit landing on the head of a blue earth fluffy that got too close
>It still says nothing
>'IS IT CUZ WED FWEND DEAD?!' you demand, lobbing the crying fluffy into the air and punting the little shit out of the camp
>It leaves a trail of piss and shit as it screams across the dump before slamming into a car windshield
>Like Tinkerbell sprinkling her pixie dust across disney castle
>MAGICAL
>Other fluffies come out from around the car and start poking the corpse and babbling at it
>Turn back to your herd and happily announce 'Fwends!  Smawty fwend bwing foodies!  Wotsa foodies!  Eat, eat!'
>The cheer and totally forget your earlier display
>A great start to a great day

>You've dispensed the food to your fluffy subjects
>They're especially excited at the sight of the quiet guy's lambchops
>Guy knows what he's talking about
>They babble and squeak and beg for the lambchops, professing their undying love for you
>You listen carefully for any offers of hugs
>Vigilance is the key
>You take this opportunity to screw with their pecking order
>You grab the orange pegasus from yesterday
>He shrieks with fear as you pick him up, soiling himself in the process
>You rip off a chunk and hold it under his nose
>He stares at the meat. 'Fwuffy can hav meaties?' it finally asks
>You nod.  This little runt must have been pretty low in rank
>Perfect
>Predictably, the higher ranking unicorns respond angrily
>'Dat fwuffy no eat meat!  Him eat poopies!  Smawty fwend, no give meat!' The other unicorns rally behind him, stomping their little hooves
>The situation is unacceptable
>You spring from your throne and backhand the upstart
>'NO QUESTION FWUFFY!  FWUFFY SAY WHO GET MEATIES, NOT HORN FWUFFY!'
>It falls on it's side, flailing it's stubby legs
>When it rights itself, it's glares with malice, snorting angrily, puffing it's cheeks out and stomping it's hooves
>Quiet guy described this as a challenge
>You whisper, 'bad fwends go on batta standad...'
>It tilts it's head curiously
>Grabbing it's horn, you scream 'BAD FWENDS GO ON DA BATTA STANDAD!!'
>It's bravado gone, it wails 'No hurt fwuffy!  Fwuffy be good!  Fwuffy be...'
>It never finishes it's sentence
>You slam it gut first on your battle standard, it's sharp point piercing it with ease
>The fluffies cheer for you as the unicorn comes to rest on the back of the old smarty
>It makes the same whistling noise as it flails its stubby legs waving weakly
>You're gonna need a bigger battle standard if this shit keeps up
>You go back to feeding the little orange guy
>The unicorns weep softly
>Those little fucks get nothing

>Two more hours have passed
>Fluffies are grazing now, many out foraging
>You've watched these fluffies closely, learning their ranks and pairings
>You notice a fluffy you haven't seen before sneaking around the bedding
>You tap one of the guards and ask 'Who him?'
>The guard squints before gasping in shock
>'HEWP FWUFFIES!  BAD FWUFFIES TAKE BEDDIES AND BABIES!  GET DEM, GET DEM!'
>You are puzzled
>Quiet guy told you this was the dominant herd, and yet your herd is being raided
>This opens a whole new world of opportunities to you
>You race your herd to get to the invaders first
>Accidentally step on your guard
>You stumble
>Make mental note to discipline that little shit later
>Sure enough, the fluffy you saw earlier and several more like him are grabbing whatever they can get their hooves on
>Foals are snatched from bleating mothers, beds are clenched in their little teeth
>You bring your fist down on one of the foal snatchers like Iron Man, causing him to drop his squeaking payload
>You pick up the foal as it's mother runs up to you, babbling 'Smawty fwend save baby!  Tank you smawty fwend, fwuffy wuv you!  Smawty fwend want hug?'
>Hug
>As it says this, the foal wraps around your arm
>The little bastard is hugging you
>DONOTWANT
>You snap the foals neck and throw it to it's mother
>'Sowwy, smawty too wate.  Bad fwuffy give baby fwuff owies, baby fwuff hurt bad.'
>The mother gapes with shock, then turns snarling on the injured trespasser
>You run back into the fray

>Your presence has turned the tide
>Nothing stolen, noone escaped your wrath
>A couple foals dies, but who fucking cares
>You stand over the remaining captives, thinking to yourself what to do with them
>Suddenly one bleats 'Smawty fwend, hewp pwease!  Pwease hewp fluffy, no wan dis!'
>A grey unicorn tries to shush the squealing fluffy, but it's too late
>A plan has begun to take shape in your mind
>You order your minions to take your captives to your improvised 'sorry box'
>An old, plus sized dog kennel
>Your mewling captives beg for release, but you're preoccupied
>You lift the squirming grey unicorn and cheerfully say 'Hewwo!'
>He spits at you saying 'Wet down!  Wet fwends go o I give big ouchies!'
>You set him down, to his surprise and the surprise of your herd
>You say hewwo again, and ask him if he's a fwend
>He stares quizically
>'...fwend?' he asks
>'Yes!  You be fwuffies!  Two herds, aww fwends!  Show me fwends?'
>He stares at you then at the cage
>'If fwuffy wet out sum yo fwends, den we be fwends?  Show me mo fwends?'
>It contemplates this for a moment, then happily agrees
>Fool

>You, a few of your formerly captive fluffies, and 4 members of your herd are trekking across the dump
>Aside from a few squabble that you hastily put down, the trip is uneventful
>Think you catch a glimpse of the quiet guy
>He seems to be working, but you get the feeling he's watching you
>Whatever
>Finally, you arrive at the invaders territory
>The little grey fluffy turns to you and proudly declares, 'Dis fwuffy home!  Wotsa fwuffie's fwends hewe!  Babies, fiwwy fwends, wotsa fwends!'
>You nod slowly, smiling behind your mask
>Little shit suspects nothing
>'Fwuffy fwends stay hewe!  Smawties talk to udda herd, make fwends!'
>'Fwuffies no need fwends!  Got wots, no need bad fwuffs!' one of your herd shouts
>You stare at him, motioning with your hands
>Pointer finger between fingers on other hand
>Fluffy goes silent and pale
>Enemy Smarty oblivious
>You go off with your former captives
>Enemy Smawty is introducing you
>You grab a pregnant mare, causing her to screech in protest
>The grey unicorn turns and squeaks, 'No!  No hurt mama fwuff!'
>You set the shit covered thing on fire before hurling it back into a crowd of it's friends
>Most are pregnant like it, making them unable to run
>They ignite as well
>Fluffies try to hug burning mares because 'huggies make everything better'
>They ignite as well
>Camp is in chaos
>You grab the grey unicorn, wrenching on his hind legs
>He screams in pain, begging you 'No make dis!  No be mean, fwend!  Owies!'
>You hold him by his forelegs
>'Me no fwend.  You nevah take beddies or baby fwuffs again.'
>You wrench his front legs out of socket dropping him
>You point to him and announce to the few fluffies that aren't screaming or burning exactly who brought you here
>The silver unicorn's head whips back and forth, hiccuping apologies and begging for hugs
>Angry fluffies are descending on him, growling
>Some crawl on broken legs
>Soon silver unicorn disappears as he's swarmed with angry fluffies
>Including one burning one
>One becomes many
>Missionaccomplished.jpg
>You help yourself to some of their finest beddies and a couple charred dam corpses
>As you return to your awestruck herd, you drop the beds on them and tell them to 'Make self usefuw'
>You recieve a heroes welcome at camp
>Rip burnt dams apart, dropping medium rare foals into the midst of your fluffies
>Give one to your orange pegasus, thinking about how your betrayal will soon destroy him
>Before you leave for the day, you stomp the little fuck that tripped you earlier and add the fluffy that sassed you to the battle standard
>Firm but fair


>Day 3 in smarty disguise
>Enter the break room again and see the quiet guy sipping coffee and staring off into space
>You sit down next to him and greet him
>He nods, then after a few long moments he asks if you've ever played warcraft
>An odd question, but you say you have
>No response
>Seriously, is this guy an aspie or something?
>He hands you a toy lightsaber
>Aspie points plus 1
>You ask what the hell it is you're supposed to do with a plastic, light-up, telescoping light saber
>He mutters that you should use your imagination
>With that he's gone
>Fucking aspie
>Undetterred, you don your mask and march off to greet your herd and begin your day

>Nobody on your throne today
>Little fuckers are learning
>As soon as you hit camp, the smell of fresh shit and piss hits your nose
>Notice there are still some captives left in your cage from yesterday
>Fluffies couldn't get inside cage, nor could captives escape
>Settled for shitting in each others general direction
>Ones in cage faired the worst in this, since they basically just flooded their cage with shit
>At least one has died
>Muzzle caked with shit
>Drowning in shit, not a way you'd want to go
>The remaining three seem to be snoring peacefully though
>You have an idea
>You pound on the cage causing the three fluffies inside to awaken, screaming and shaking
>'Why woud sound? Fwuffy no wike!  Why sowwy bawks?  Wet fwuffy out!' they all chitter
>Your camp awakens as well, one of your herd groggily stepping forward to soil the captives
>Soils your shoe instead
>Enraged, you grab the offending fluffy by the head and begin swinging him around like a slingshot from the days of christ
>Imagine you are David
>Imagine Goliath
>Goliath wants huggies
>You slingshot's neck cracks as it screams unintelligibly
>You release your payload, watching it sail across the dump
>Hit fluffy from previous day on car windshield
>Windshield splinters, gravity chews its way through fluff and flesh with glass teeth
>On to business

>The herd is standing stock still behind you
>The captives defecate defensively, hugging each other and sobbing
>'Pwease wet out!  Not frow fwuffy, dat mean!'
>'Smawty no frow fwuffy!  Pway game instead!'
>They shake a bit less violently now, but they're still wary
>'Game cawwed 'wace'!  Fwee fwuffy wace, wun fwuffy win, dat fwuffy go home!'
>They stare dumbly at you
>Sigh, explain the rules again to them in simpler terms
>They're even more terrified now
>'Fwuffy no weave fwends!  Wet aww fwuffy go, we weave!  No mow steal baby fwuffs!  Pwease wet out?'
>'Fwuffies will pway game, o fwuffies get batta standad!  Fwuffies want batta standad?'
>You point to the makeshift totem pole of rotting bloodied fluffs in the middle of camp
>They're either seeing it for the first time, or they had forgotten it
>Either way, they scream and shit themselves again before blubbering
>'Good!' you chirp.  'Fwuffy get wacing pwace weady!  Wotsa fun!'
>You send your herd off to find all the lightbulbs, nails, and pieces of rusty metal they can carry
>They return an hour later unsure of what any of those things are
>You backhand one of them then set that fluffy aside
>She has just joined the race
>You go and gather the materials yourself
>You smash them up in a bucket then carefully sprinkle them along a path
>You gather your racers and proudly present your 'wace twack'
>Your racers stare in silent horror
>You explain that the first pony to run to the end gets to live
>All others will die
>Survivor may go where he/she wishes
>Fluffies refuse to move at first
>Grimacing, you pull out the plastic light saber you got earlier
>You swing it, causing it to glow, and scream 'GO!'
>The race begins

>The member of your herd is the first to run forward
>She is the most well fed, she would make the most likely winner
>As soon as she hits your path of broken glass, her marshmallow hooves slice apart
>She falls to her belly screaming and crying, causing more glass and nails to stab into her fluff and neck
>Every move brings her more agony
>The first of the captives sees his chance, and jumps onto her back as she squeals in pain and indignation
>'No!  No sit on fwuf-guurrrg!  Get off-hufff!'
>The glass in her throat is now tinged red
>It's already piercing her windpipe
>You wonder what kind of whistling noises she's make
>The first captive stomps a few times and blows raspberries at your herd
>One tries to charge the captive and predictably gets cut up on the glass
>You sigh and nudge the screaming fluffy off your race track with your toy light saber
>Fucking moron
>Finally, the captive gets the nerve to try and leap the remaining five feet of the track
>He soars a good 6 inches before landing face first
>Inarticulate screams of pain greet your ears as the fluffy attempts to raise it's head
>Glass sticking out of one eye
>Nail ripped through bottom lip and broke a tooth out
>What a shame
>The remaining two begin their careful journey out onto the track
>They're watching the ground and whimpering, trying to avoid sharp objects
>They're also side by side which causes them to bump each other
>One falls on his side and begins to scream for help
>The last captive sobs an apology and tearfully continues
>As he nears the end of the track (you really should have gotten more glass) the captives beg to not be left behind
>'Fwuffy so sowwy fwends!  No want be owies, no hate!' It hiccups pitiably. 'Fwuffy sowwy!'
>As it turns away, it steps on a chunk of glass and tumbles down the ridge your track ends on
>You watch as it painfully gets up from the bottom, dragging it's leg behind it and limping on it's bad front leg
>You suppress a laugh as you imagine the look on his face when he gets back to the charred remains of his herd


>Later that day, you've collected the three fluffy corpses and swept away your 'wace twack'
>Laugh at the stupid fluff who tried to run on the track
>It sobs quietly
>You won't let anyone hug him
>He is completely alone and miserable
>Suddenly you hear what sounds like a horn followed by a chorus of fluffy voices babbling about a 'scawy noise'
>You look outside your camp, and you can't believe what you see
>It's the fucking quiet guy
>Wearing a disturbingly well made fluffy mask
>You can tell it's him by the clothes he wears
>Dozens of fluffies swarming around his feet
>In one hand, an air horn
>In the other...a toy light saber?
>What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
>He gestures towards your camp, and the fluffy horde screams and begins running up the slope into your camp
>Wait
>Is this why he was talking about warcraft?
>You lament killing so many of your own herd, since he clearly has the numbers advantage now
>Doubt talking reason to him is going to work
>Some of your fluffies are snarling at the approaching groups
>Mares are cowering with foals, shitting on them in terror
>Impromptu camoflauge?
>Others ask you what to do
>You smile grimly and draw your own light saber
>'Fwuffies ATTACK!'

>This is fucking stupid
>Quiet guy is rushing up your slope with spidery speed
>He's used to working in this environment
>This psycho now has you at two disadvantages
>You swing at him as he nears the top
>Parrys your swing then buries a shoulder into your gut
>You both go tumbling into a pile of shit and screaming fluffies
>You push the smaller man off of you and you both rise to your feet
>You are titans on this battlefield, the fluffy herd now brutally beating on each other amongst your feet
>Your nose and ears are overwhelmed by the fetid little beasts that are no so far beneath your notice
>Your world is only you, and this creepy crazy manchild fuck that stands before you
>He turns and begins to dash over the other side of the ridge your camp sits upon
>All around you, your herd is bleeding, screaming, being raped, being murdered
>You could never let him just get away with this
>Robbed you of the days of fun you could have had
>You give chase, trampling friendly and hostile fluffies alike
>He suddenly stops and makes a baseball swing at your head
>Is he trying to remove your mask?
>You son of a bitch!
>Screaming with rage you swing your plastic weapon of the gods down upon this bastard who dared interferred in your fun
>He rolls effortlessly out of your way
>Your momentum carries you as you somersault your way down the trash heap, causing mini avalanches along the way

>Dammit to hell
>You are pinned beneath god knows what with some crazy fuck in a fluffy mask standing over you
>He hangs limply for a couple of long minutes, like some horrid mockery of a scarecrow
>Finally you find your voice
>'What the hell are you doing?  You could have killed me you dumb fuck!'
>No response
>'Just help me get up.  I am going to have your fucking job for this you dumb cunt, and both those toys are going up your ass!'
>Still no response
>'Come on, please.  I...I didn't mean it.  Help me.  Please.'
>Silence
>Silence
>Silence
>Movement
>He steps past you and raises his arms
>'Fwends!  Down hewe!  Smawty down hewe with bad smawty!  Bwing bad horn fwuffs!  Come see!'
>His voice is well practiced
>Can't tell his voice from any other fluffy
>Soon you are surrounded by wounded and battered fluffies
>Near your head, on top the garbage on your chest
>Even your little orange pegasus friend draws close, whimpering and sniffling
>The quiet guy bends down and grabs the chin of your mask
>You struggle vainly as he rips away your disguise
>The fluffies collectively shit themselves in shock
>They never saw this coming

>The quiet guy begins to speak in feigned shock
>'Wook!  Dis no fwuffy!  Dis not fwuffy at aww!  Him Hooman!'
>Muffled whispers of 'hooman' and 'whewe smawty go?' filter through to your ears
>White hot with rage
>The quiet guy begins to speak again
>'Dis hooman wie to fwuffies!  He huwt wots a fwuffies, get specia' huggies fwom aww da fiwwies!'
>You wish you could hate this fuck dead
>He continues
>'Dis hooman, him name 'toywet'!  Make big poopies on Toywet!'
>Your rage turns to fear
>What is he saying?  Does he really mean to kill you?
>You watch as he unfolds a sheet of paper, unnoticed by the now angry fluffies that seem to be crowding in around your head
>It's a note
>'I'm so sorry.  I have been waiting for Diablo 3 for almost four years now.  I had saved some money to take a small vacation, but the foreman wouldn't give me my time off.  That's when you appeared.  I realized that if some idiot got himself hurt or killed out here, that they would have to shut down for a couple of weeks.  I'm sorry man.  I need this.'
>WAT
>This bastard is going to murder you so he can play a fucking video game?!
>WHY
>You notice that the fluffies have turned their smelly asses to you
>You turn to see your orange pegasus still sobbing in disbelief
>You were his only friend
>You still are
>You want to end him so badly
>You strain to try and free an arm, only to see the quiet guy casually grab the orange pegasus by the scruff and begin walking away
>He's taken everything from you
>You can't even hear yourself scream over the sounds of 70+ fluffies shitting and screaming as one


>Epilogue
>Be the quiet guy
>Sitting in your chair at home
>Life is good
>Work shut down pending investigation
>Overheard police bemoaning toxic environment in dump
>Impossible to gather evidence
>You smile
>They'll never know
>You gently stroke the sleeping orange fluffy in your lap
>You rescued the little fellow
>You're a hero
>Poor little guy was traumatized
>Babbling about a giant fluffy who hurt his smawty fwend
>He winces as you carefully caress the burn marks on his forehead from the stun gun
>Taking away his memories was the only way to take away the pain
>He yawns, and nuzzles deeper into your lap
>dawwww
>Foreman at work fired for endangering civilians
>Talk of napalming entire dump to remove the danger of murderous fluffies
>Police would never think to question them anyways
>Owner spoke with you about promotion to foreman
>You said you'd think about it
>A prompt lets you know D3 is finished installing
>Look at calender
>3 paid EI weeks before you go back to work
>Contemplate using your saved money for new computer at work
>Never stop playing D3
>Above your computer hang two dirty fluffy masks
>Your orange pegasus sometimes stares at them and cries