Austrificator - Österreichisch Userscript

// ==UserScript==
// @name       Austrificator
// @namespace  http://nowebsite
// @version    0.3
// @description  replaces german words by their austrian counterpart
// @match      http://*/*
// @copyright  2014+
// ==/UserScript==

(function() {
  var replacements, regex, key, textnodes, node, s;

  replacements = {
    "\b(.*)el\b": "$1l",
    "\b(.*)eln\b": "$1ln",
    "\b(.*)en\b": "$1n",
    "\b(.*)ver(.*)\b": "$1va$2",
    "\b(das|der|die) beste\b": "beste",
    "\bab(.*)\b": "o'$1",
    "\bals\b": "ois",
    "\bauch\b": "ou",
    "\bausländer\b": "Zwüflada",
    "\bautos*\b": "Kraxn",
    "\bbald\b": "glei",
    "\bbananen*\b": "Dschungögurkn",
    "\bbauch\b": "Schwodn",
    "\bbei\b": "ba",
    "\bbesoffen|betrunken|angetrunken\b": "bumzua",
    "\bbesserwisser\b": "hirnwixa",
    "\bbild\b": "büdl",
    "\bbist\b": "bis",
    "\bblöd\b": "deppad",
    "\bdas|diese*s*\b": "des",
    "\bdich\b": "di",
    "\bdie|dich\b": "di",
    "\bdieser*\b": "de",
    "\bdieses Jahr\b": "heuer",
    "\bdumm gelaufen\b": "deppad grennt",
    "\bein|einen|eine\b": "oan",
    "\beine\b": "oane",
    "\beinen|ein\b": "oan",
    "\beuch\b": "oich",
    "\bey\b": "dei muata oida",
    "\bfebruar\b": "feber",
    "\bficken\b": "schnaxln",
    "\bfreitag\b": "freitog",
    "\bfreuen\b": "gfrain",
    "\bfreund|alter|alte\b": "euda",
    "\bfrüher\b": "boida",
    "\bganz\b": "gonz",
    "\bgef(.*)\b": "gf$1",
    "\bgestern\b": "heuer",
    "\bgruss|grüsse\b": "griass",
    "\bhabe*\b": "hob",
    "\bhackfleisch\b": "Faschiertes",
    "\bhaha\b": "bam",
    "\bhallo|hi|hey|ciao|tschüss|ade|bye|tschau|aufwiedersehen\b": "servus",
    "\bhalt den mund|still|schweig|ruhe\b": "Hoit's zaum!",
    "\bhässlich\b": "schiach",
    "\bhässliche\b": "schiache",
    "\bhässlicher\b": "schiacha",
    "\bhehe\b": "fix",
    "\bherzinfarkt\b": "herzkasperl",
    "\bheute\b": "heit",
    "\bhey\b": "heast",
    "\bhinüber|rüber|drüben\b": "drüm",
    "\bhinunter|herunter\b": "owi",
    "\bich\b": "i",
    "\bihr\b": "iah",
    "\bist\b": "is",
    "\bjanuar\b": "jänner",
    "\bjanuar\b": "jänner",
    "\bkartoffeln*\b": "Erdopfi",
    "\bKoffer(n*)\b": "Doschal$1",
    "\bkopf|köpfe\b": "Birn",
    "\blache\b": "kuder",
    "\blangweilig\b": "fad",
    "\blangweilige\b": "fade",
    "\blangweiliger\b": "fader",
    "\blangweiliges\b": "fade",
    "\blol\b": "hawara",
    "\bmädchen|frau|frauen\b": "madl",
    "\bmich\b": "mi",
    "\bmorgen\b": "moagn",
    "\bmorgen\b": "Moagn",
    "\bmotorsäge\b": "Fichtenmoped",
    "\bmund\b": "Goschn",
    "\bnacht\b": "nocht",
    "\bnicht\b": "ned",
    "\bnoch\b": "no",
    "\boder\b": "oda",
    "\bohrfeigen*\b": "Watschn",
    "\bok\b": "hawara",
    "\bpenis|schwanz\b": "Ruabn",
    "\bpinkeln|pissen\b": "brunzn",
    "\bpolizist|polizei\b": "Kiwara",
    "\bpommes|pommesfrittes|fritten\b": "Erdäpflstaberln",
    "\brückwärts\b": "oaschlings",
    "\bsagt(.*)\b": "sogt$1",
    "\bscheiss|scheisse\b": "schass",
    "\bschlampen*\b": "Dorfmatrotzn",
    "\bsehr\b": "ur",
    "\bsicher|klar|logisch|bestimmt|selbstverständlich\b": "fix",
    "\bsieht\b": "schauts",
    "\bskateboard\b": "hoiz bredl",
    "\bskaten\b": "Hoiz bredl radl rutschen",
    "\bsterben\b": "okrotzn",
    "\bstinken\b": "miefn",
    "\bstuhl|stühle|sessel|sitzplatz\b": "Sesserl",
    "\bsüss*\b": "sias",
    "\btief(.*)\b": "tiaf$1",
    "\btoiletten*|klo|wc|badezimmer\b": "Scheißheisl",
    "\btomaten*\b": "paradeiser",
    "\btotal|sehr\b": "ur",
    "\btreppe\b": "steige",
    "\btrinken\b": "zutzeln",
    "\bTrottel|Idiot|dumme|dummer|spast\b": "depp",
    "\bvagina*|muschi*|fotze*|votzen*\b": "Mösal",
    "\bviel\b": "füü",
    "\bvoll\b": "fui",
    "\bvorstellen\b": "vurstölln",
    "\bwarnung\b": "woanung",
    "\bwas\b": "wos",
    "\bwelt\b": "wöd",
    "\bwerden\b": "wean",
    "\bwillst\b": "wüst",
    "\bwir\b": "mia",
    "\bwir|mir\b": "mia",
    "\bWitz\b": "Schmäh",
    "\bwohnzimmer\b": "Stubn",
    "\bzigarette\b": "tschick",
    "\bzuhälter\b": "Strizzi",
    "\bzwei|2\b": "zwo",
    };

regex = {};
for (key in replacements) {
    regex[key] = new RegExp(key, 'gi');
}

textnodes = document.evaluate( "//body//text()", document, null, XPathResult.UNORDERED_NODE_SNAPSHOT_TYPE, null);

for (var i = 0; i < textnodes.snapshotLength; i++) {
    node = textnodes.snapshotItem(i);
    s = node.data;
    for (key in replacements) {
        s = s.replace(regex[key], replacements[key]);
    }
    node.data = s;
}

})();