Some Points of Note on Dating an Alicorn (NSFWish, no sex)

FUTA CONTENT. Well, implied Futa. No sex.

Written after seeing an idea that was way too good to pass up.

>"Anonymous, it is good to see you. I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here?"
>"Uh, yeah, just a tiny bit. Your guard did, y'know, sort of interrupt me and Twilight's first date."
>You weren't really that angry
>It was going fucking horribly anyway
>Twilight had been so nervous she could barely talk. She was actually visibly sweating
>She seemed fine when you asked her out a week ago
>But the minute you picked her up from the Castle, things went south fast
>You were honestly relieved that Celestia needed you
>Maybe some magical monster was invading and it needed a bitch-slap
>You always enjoyed their expression when they saw you standing, unharmed, in whatever crater their magic left behind
>"I- Well, it is rather related to your date, actually."
>You raise an eyebrow
>Maybe Celestia didn't like the whole inter-species thing
>"You see- Alicorns are, uh-"
>She scratches one of her legs with a hoof
>Jeez
>She actually looked nervous
>"Guards. Leave this place."
>Both of the pegasi at her sides salute and quickly march to the door
>You hear it slam behind you
>Now you were the nervous one
>You... Actually hadn't been alone with her before
>There was always a guard, at the very least. Most of the time Twilight was there too
>"You see, uh- The fact that you are dating Twilight has given her a rather... Impossible dilemma."
>You resist the urge to scream at her to spit it out
>"She, uh, was planning on informing you, but I do believe that it became quite impossible for her to actually confront the issue. As I am, er, quite sympathetic to her plight, having experienced it myself several times, I have decided to intervene."
>Well
>That told you fucking nothing
>You nod, expecting her to go on
>She takes a deep breath
>"You see... Alicorns are physically different from normal ponies."
>...She's not talking about the horn-wing thing
>This is something new
>"...I'm listening."
>"We, ah, have certain... Features altered by the transformation."
>"Features?"
>"Yes. We poses the characteristics of all of our subjects, a physical embodiment of harmony. But, this-"
>Celestia takes a moment to compose herself
>"This applies to all aspects. Including ones that make us, well, physically repulsive to most ponies."
>You arch an eyebrow
>"I'm listening"
>"You see... We poses both male and female sexual characteristics."
>The room is dead silent
>"If you no longer wish to go through with the rest of your date, Twilight will understand."
>Wait, Celestia expected her student to put out on the first date?
>Hell fucking yeah!
>"Why- Why are you grinning?"
>Oh
>Right
>You try to kill the smile
>"I- Princess. I think a visual aide might be in order. Any way we could teleport to Twilight's place for a moment?"
>You're momentarily blinded by a flash of light
>You blink a few times
>"Hm. Her bedroom. Rather suggestive, don't you think?"
>Celestia blushes, ever so slightly
>"Now..."
>You exit the room, take a left, walk past Spike's room, and then turn right into your bedroom
>You quickly retrieve your laptop
>"Now, Princess. You remember how you're a cartoon in my world, right?"
>"Yes."
>"I believe that me, you, and the other Alicorns spent some time viewing all the images and videos I had on your world, correct?"
>"Yes."
>They'd taken it surprisingly well, in fact.
>It must have been like a trip down memory lane
>They'd demanded to see every image you had
>"Anonymous, I don't remember any images that relate to the current situation."
>"I didn't show you everything."
>"But you said-"
>"I lied."
>You open up truecrypt, navigate to the file NOTHING_TO_SEE_HERE (in the /users/anon/documents/old/older/ancient/boring/stupid/worthless/not\ suspicious\ at \all/ directory), and open it up
>You quickly type the password ("Iblame4chanforthisshit,seriously,whatthefuckamIdoing")
>Soon you're greeted with a very familiar folder
>"What is this?"
>"Uh... Sexually stimulating material."
>"Anonymous."
>Her voice is so forceful you turn to face her
>"I know what pornography is."
>"I'm trying to use more- Y'know, eloquent vocabulary, here. You are a Princess."
>"Yes. I'm 2000 years old. Do you seriously think I am a stranger to porn?"
>You give her a look
>Nah
>Actually, at this point, she was probably into some fucked-up shit
>Maybe not as bad as your one folder marked "Hardcore Femdom" or the other one named "I don't even know why I the fuck I fapped to this shit", but probably pretty bad
>"No. You probably aren't. But, uh-"
>You quickly click the "Pone" folder
>There it was
>All five gigs
>Neatly organized by pic type, than participants
>"I, uh- There's stuff of you in this. I'm just going to really hope you're not going to moonshot me for that."
>Celestia just arches an eyebrow and parts her mouth into a half-smile in response
>Holy SHIT
>If only you weren't dating Twilight
>Then again, she did seem to stare at Celestia an awful lot when they were together
>Maybe she wouldn't be opposed to-
>You shake your head, banishing the thought
>This was business time
>You click on the futa folder
>Thumbnails fill the list
>"Oh."
>You turn to Celestia
>Her cheeks are just barely a shade of rose
>"Oh. My. That is... That is quite a lot of-"
>"Yeah. It's... It's a thing back where I come from."
>Celestia's eyes are the size of dinner plates
>"You humans are a strange bunch."
>"You can say that again."
>She didn't know the half of it
>Your futa folder was a lot tamer than the oviposition one
>"Is- Is that one of me and my sister, uh, double-teaming Twilight?"
>"There's a whole comic about that actually."
>"Oh."
>Celestia ruffles her wings slightly
>"I- I may need that. For, uh studying reasons."
>You give her a fake glare
>"I'm dating her, you know."
>"Oh, come on, Anonymous. I've known her for years. And I know a thing or two about the male sex."
>She moves her hips suggestively
>Almost like a thrust
>"She'd agree to it, and you'd jump at the chance."
>Your mouth is very dry
>"Uh... Yeah. Yeah. I can get you a copy of that."
>"Good. Now, hide the evidence again, please."
>You dismount the volume
>In a flash, you're back in Canterlot
>"So. You'll be okay with it, then?"
>"Honestly, Princess, Twilight is amazing no matter what physical characteristics she has. But, uh, Twilight with a pussy and a dick?"
>You hold your hands up
>"Fucking perfect."
>She smiles at you
>"Good. Because I imagine you're going to learn just how virile Alicorns are later tonight."
>Was she implying-
>You shake your head again
>"Okay. Yes. Can I get back to my date now?"
>Celestia nods, still holding that slightly evil grin
>You hear one last thing before the door closes
>"Tell me how it goes, Anonymous! Tell me it in extreme detail."