A perfectly standard day in the life of Puuchu the Lich.

> You are Puuchu the Lich.

> Today you are being taught basic necromancy. Specifically creating a ghoul.

> Anon, your mentor, had tasked you with finding a remote location for this lesson.

> You picked a small remote village miles away from the closest sign of civilization.

> The place met it's end when it was razed by dragons 3 months ago. The entirety of the towns folk died, and Celestia only had the dead buried within the town itself.

> Supposedly it was known for Daimond Dogs, P0nies, and Griffons that all lived in harmony, but you didn't bother researching beyond all that.

>"Puuchu, I was worried the spot you chose would prove inadequate for our purposes, yet this leaves us with plenty to work with."

> Anon goes over the incantation with you, and demonstrates how to harness the mana needed by raising a griffon.

> After 3 tries you manage to raise a Daimond Dog.

"Fuck yeah! I made a Zombie!"
> Anon smacks the back of your head.
>"These are ghouls. Not a rotting pile of flesh that can only eat. Much like you. Now give it some commands.

> You tell it to sit, it sits. You tell it to stand, it complies. You tell it to dance, it falls over and breaks both legs.

>" Raise another."

> This time you raise a P0ny, Heck why not three at once! Now you raised three p0nies and one crawling Daimond dog to Anon's one griffon.

> this poker match doesn't seem to be in Anon's favor.

>" It's good you can manage raising a few at once but don't get too ahead of yourself." He reanimates another griffon and a diamond dog. "Now let them fight. FOR DOMINANCE!"

> You likewise tell your ghouls to fight for dominance.

> The two groups rush each other, moving at speeds you'd thought was impossible for them. Their decayed bodies collide, and begin doing unspeakable things. Things that made you and Anon flinch in disgust.

"MY GOD! ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!"

> Anon has reached maximum NOPE-ocity. "BY NERULL NO! THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO!"

> Anon calms down and furrows his brow-bones at you.
>"Puuchu, did the townsfolk have anything special about them!"

> You teleport back to your study, rustle through your notes till you find the horrible truth.

"THIS IS A GAY SADO-MASOCHISTIC COLONY!"
> You screamed as you poofed next to Anon.

> Only to find that the ghouls brought out the leather.

> Anon has resorted to regenerating his eyeballs, only to repeatedly stab them with an enchanted acid dagger.

> You felt the best course of action is to roast your remaining eye over an open fire, and to fill your empty sockets with flan. A much subtler action than Anon's, but it'll suffice.

> 3 days later you and Anon are found by a search and rescue team led by Twilight. The ghouls have long since rutted to the point they ran out of mana, so the team are left confused by the many corpses clothed in skimpy leather outfits. Not to mention the "accessories" left about.

> Anon is off by the river, repeatedly dunking his skull in the water, scouring his eye sockets with steel wool. The reports later state that his sobbing of "I CAN'T SCRUB THE IMAGE AWAY!" is what led the team to the both of you.

> You on the other hoof, had relapsed to the mental age of three, a sweet time of innocence and joy. And the smearing of your body with sweet sweet flan.

The End.