Five plus 4

The squad looked at the bulky angel-esque being in front of them. He turned and almost instantly the original squad remembered who he was.

Bonesy:"Holy shit..Jack?"

Jack:"Wassup,my good lads?"

Jack was much more...muchier now. He was tall, at least seven feet.His hair went down to his knees, but he didn't seem to mind. His wings were extremely large,but holy shit his muscles were like fucking Akimbo Slice and Terry Crews at the same time.

Memez:"Well you look...different."

Jack looked down at himself.

Jack:"This? Nah. Being best friends with a god is pretty cool.And being a Dankgel allows me to manipulate my physical form."

Celtic:"What the hell is a Dankgel?"

Jack:"Supernatural protector of the dank humans.The Armada of Snoop."

Kerbin:"Did you get any cool weapons?"

Jack smiled, before bringing his hands together to form a bright green ball of energy.He cast it out into the distance, before it hit some overhanging rock and exploded.

Bonesy:"That is fucking amazing."

Memez:"Why're you here though?"

Jack:"Well for one to give everyone their weapons back."

Jack grabbed a large sack filled with the squads weapons and the weapons of BurningTorrent and Uxie.

Jack:"Burning, hope you don't mind but while i was getting this i got the munchies, and i raided your fridge."

Burning:"That's okay, just tell me you didn't eat my Cheese Puff Daddies."

Jack:"Literally the first thing i grabbed."

Burning:"Fuck."

Burning took her blade in hand, long time the manxome foe she sought.So she sat a while under the TumTum tree, and stood a while in thought.

Burning:"I don't think anyone here's gonna get a Jabberwocky joke."

Burning pulled the sword from it's sheath, it's edge pulsing with power. The blade moved like Waveform, but was much too stable to be it.Uxie had a small green ball in her hand, about the size of a baseball.

Kerbin:"What's that, Uxie?"

Uxie:"Just a small nuke."

The squad conciously shuffled away from Uxie.

Uxie:"What? It doesn't even really have any explosive potential. It's just a giant flashbang really."

Bonesy:"So Jack, two questions. Where are we and how do we get out?"

Jack:"That's where my second thing comes in. You are all in Hell."

The squad looked around, slightly unimpressed.

Uxie:"It is a tad bit cliche, isn't it?"

Jack:"What else would Hell look like?"

Bonesy:"He's got a point."

Jack:"Well now kids, get ready for some exposition."

Jack brushed his hair out of his eyes, but it quickly settled back into place.

Jack:"Sad part is, i can't help you fight here. I have limited power and i'm cut off from the Great Dank.I'll be focusing on opening the Eight Gates.They're the portals from Hell to the Wikiverse, and only great dank can break them. The guardians of these gates will try to kill me before i can open the gates.You need to make sure i have enough time to open those gates so we can proceed and get the fuck out of here. Got it?"

Memez:"Yeah, i think."

Uxie:"I liked the part where you said gates."

Jack:"The first gate is around here somewhere."

Midna:"I'm going to make a wild assumption and say that this is it."

The squad turned around and saw a gigantic vault door. Various words in a language no living creature could read were carved into the metal of the giant door.

Jack:"I'd make sure your weapons are reloaded."

The squad checked their shit, making sure that all of their gear was good.All guns were reloaded and all blades were still sharp.

Jack:"Well then, let's get this shit on the road."

Jack began breathing deeply,and moved his hands closer to his heart, forming an invisible ball.With a shout, he fired a deep green beam of energy from his hands onto the lock of the giant vault door.The rest of the squad heard a loud rumble, and a high pitched scream.

???:"LIKE SONIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"