I thought i was going to do a recorded game jam show thing rightwhat it turned out to be was fucking reality tv

and the cheesiest incarnation of itthere was mountain dew everywherelike signage and pictures and logos and all this shit

oh god
they were telling me they might cover up my tattoos, they made davey take off his nail polish

I'm not even to the gross parts yetso day 1 of shootingwe're standing on stage in front of hot lights for 5 hours while they shoot and reshoot basically nothingbecause reality tv is about living in the moment


and we're all tired and stressed and just want to code and start work on our gamesthey assign us all some random youtube celebrity to our teams to jam with us


and then we find out we're not even gonna start working on games that day, we're doing ~*challenges*~and the grand prize for the game jam isI shit you nota year supply of mountain dew, some xtreme sports thing, and a deal with xbox that I don't want

they wanted us to look surprised and in awe on camera at the news and made us reshoot it like 20 times but the entire time I just went :| at the camera


nott even to the bad parts yetso then we go do the challenges and the first one is the let's player has to do a let's play of the team captain's (me) games rightand you know my work so I'm like uhhhh I guess we can do jeff goldblum staring contestso our let's player fucking MELTS DOWN at me on camerafor like 5 minutes. yells at me about my "attitude" and shits all over me and just fucking berates me out of fucking nowhere

he was just insecure and I heard from others who know him and worked with him in the past that he lashes out when everything isn't about him. also he was totally buddy buddy with the two male members of my team and just kinda shit all over me from the start soooobasically he seems like one of those insecure folx who needs everything to be all about him at all times and when I asked him about what stuff he had made in the past because I don't know shit about lets players he took that as if I was insulting him and his abilitiesso I go off for a breather, cry in the bathroom because I'm sick as shit on top of this and so stressed out, calm down and the production company like, corners me and tries to get me to talk shit

the male members of my team get him to apologize in private and we make up because I don't dislike the guy or anything and then the company forces us to redo it and film it like 3 timesbut like, I'm already mentally checked outany time I try and say something he shoots it down but loves it when the male members of my team say the exact same thinghe tries to take over the team and tell us what to do and acts like a fucking attention whore about it alland I'm just drained and sick of everythingso then we do the second "challenge" which also has nothing to do with making a gameand I ask my team (sans the let's player) "hey would you be super pissed at me if I quit"cause I can't work in this environment and I can't get a word in edgewise with this guy when I'm supposed to be the leaderand then in this environment where I can't even work on a game, right? it was like 16 hours of shooting and we hadn't even started jammingand then the second challenge ends and my work on it blows and so does everyone else'sand then the production company shoos out all the other teams, all the members of my team, and corners me alone in the roomshuts the door, it's all really obviousand then asks me to talk shit about the youtuber and my teamso I start yelling at them about how I'm not going to do this reality tv bullshit, I'm not going to talk shit about these guys, and I fucking came here to make gamesand I storm off to my trailerakira, the dude who works for indiecade that asked me to be a part of this who also didn't know it was gonna be like this, along with my 2 dev team members and the embedded journalist freelancer who I know and trust, comes by the trailerakira asks whats up and I have to stop him from running off and just screaming at everyonehe's lividwe talk about possibly solutions, davey (on my team) says if I go he goeseveryone agrees that it's all bullshitbut we have to film the final bits for the daywhich is judging the results of these stupid and shitty challengesso we go back to do it just so we have more time to decide what we wanna do(I won the first challenge btw and gave the LPer the xbox one we won because I wanted him to know we were cool and not feel weird about earlier and I don't want a fucking xbox anyway)


but I start telling the other devs I'm leaving and THENI find out that the producers have been asking questions like "hey do you think having a woman on the team puts you at a disadvantage"

so I go full fucking lividand after shooting wraps I tell everyone I'm fucking doneall the devs and the production people get together and me and the other lady tell them we're not staying under any circumstances, they try and bargain, and we end up convincing everyone else to leave too

they're like begging us to stay and we're like NOPE GO FUCK YOURSELVESwe find out the other 4 days we'd be shooting is basically more of this right, not even actually working on games just stupid shit challengesso we have these trailers and and I was like "yo I have beer in mine do you guys just wanna drink and hang out"and they kept trying to get me to be cool with jamming and I'm like "dude I've been a teacher. This is not what I want to show KIDS that indie is like. fuck this mountain dew bro culture shit I can't sign off on it"so we ended up playing games and drinking that night in the trailerwe went and invited the production assistants to hangthey came out and drank with usthe next day they tried to bargain more and shit but we were still like NOPE but settled on agreeing to give them interviews about how they fucked upthey trotted down like every single higher up hey had to try and convince usand we found out that this was the most ambitious and expensive thing they'd ever tried to produce. 400k down the hole. AND!! this happened right after disney put an offer to buy them on the table for about a billion dollars. 500 mill up front and 450 mill if they hit certain deadlinesso we destroyed their biggest thing right as this hit the table

this game jam might end up costing them 1 billion dollarsbecause of my riotso now I can be like "hey guys remember when I lead a riot against pepsi and disney and didn't make a game that cost a billion dollars"

*bows*the COO of disney actually showed up yesterdayso lol


I have no idea if they're gonna try and come at me for this

and I cant talk about it publicly till the 12th of julyI'm having a lawyer look at my contract now

the embedded journalist saw everything and is gonna be honest

so that'll be fun