troll.h - Fu** up all code

/*
    Troll Header file by Kilobyte. Including this WILL make your program a single bug.
    I am pretty sure most applications won't even launch with it lol :P
    (Hint: include on April first)

    CHANGELOG:
        1.0.1
            Added Fake Segfault with a 0.25% chance on every output
*/

#include <stdio.h>
#include <signal.h>
#ifdef __cplusplus
#include <iostream>
#include <cstdlib>
#endif

bool troll_initialized;

void init_troll(void) {
    if (troll_initialized)
        return;
    srand(0);
    troll_initialized = true;
}

void printtroll(char* x) {
    init_troll();
    if (rand() % 100 == 0)
        printf("The author of this application sucks\n");
    printf(x);
    if (rand() % 400 == 0)
        raise(SIGSEGV); // Yes, i am really evil...
}

int maybe(void) {
    init_troll();
    int randomval = rand() % 100;
    return randomval;
}

#ifdef __cplusplus
char* trollout(int chance) {
    init_troll();
    if (rand() % 400 == 0)
        raise(SIGSEGV);
    if (rand() % 100 < chance)
        return "The author of this application sucks\n";
    return "";
}
#endif

#undef true
#undef false

#define printf(x) printtroll(x)

#define true maybe()  // make booleans undecided
#define false !maybe()

#ifdef __cplusplus
#define cout cout << trollout(1)
#define cerrt cerr << trollout(5)

#endif