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VirginAnon in Equestria 2

Jul 22nd, 2012
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  1. >You wake up with a face full of sun
  2. "Fuck you sun"
  3. >The sun just keeps smacking your face with its UV rays
  4. >You grunt and groan as you get up cracking bones and tossing used tissues onto the floor
  5. >You get up and stumble over to your kitchen and start pissing in the sink
  6. >You gotta remember to hire a plumber to fix your toliet
  7. >You look over at your hand drawn calender to see that today you're working in the noon shift
  8. "Damn, *sigh* I don't feel like working with his bitch"
  9. >you zip up and turn on the faucet to wash away the piss
  10. >You brush your teeth and eat some bread
  11. >You quickly clean up in case you get lucky tonight
  12. "Actually now that I think about it...I can go drinking today. Awww yeeaaahh"
  13. >You quickly get out of your shitty home and lock it
  14. >You walk to work greeting any mares and barely legal fillies
  15. 1/x
  16.  
  17. >You stop once you hear the town bell signaling you still had an hour until work
  18. "Just enough time to see who wants to drink tonight"
  19. >You stop at a stand having two mares you were looking for
  20. "Ey Applejack! Yo Rainbow! Are you girls going to join me drinking tonight?
  21. >The two mares greet you
  22. >AJ: "Possibly sugarcube, it all depends if my brother can handle taking care of the house"
  23. "Can he?"
  24. >AJ: "Nnnnope, but I think those three can manage themselves well"
  25. "So that means are you going then?"
  26. >AJ: "Maybe, just wait and find out. I know you're hoping for some bucking but-"
  27. >She puts her hoof on your cheek
  28. >AJ: "I just get real tired from bucking trees all day"
  29. >RD just bursts out laughing
  30. "Yeah...okay. So Rainbow how about you?"
  31. >RD: "You know I am totally in for some drinking, awwww yeaaah!"
  32. >Random muscalur Pegasus: "YEAH!"
  33. >You stare at him and he stares at you
  34. >He flexes and flies away with his tiny wings
  35. 2/x
  36.  
  37. "Okay that was wierd but yeah...awesome. Hey Rainbow do yo-"
  38. >RD: "No, I told you I don't do bros"
  39. "How do you even know if I was gonna ask that?"
  40. >RD: "Because all you think about is sex"
  41. "That's not true"
  42. >Sex
  43. "D'oh, but okay still on for drinking?"
  44. >RD: "Yeah, look see ya guys later I gotta teach Scootaloo some tricks she can do with her scooter"
  45. >She flew off even before Applejack and you could even say goodbye
  46. "See ya AJ, I gotta head to work"
  47. >She nods and waves her hoof
  48. >You go back on track to work
  49. >You walk in that door to hear that annoying bell
  50. >Boss Bitch: "Anon you're half hour early, I am not paying you any extra bits if you start working right now"
  51. "Okay then"
  52. 3/x
  53.  
  54. >You head over to the stand and grab a newspaper
  55. >Your reading is interrupted by Boss Bitch
  56. >Boss Bitch: "I am not paying you to read so get to work!"
  57. "But you're no-"
  58. >Boss Bitch: "Get to WORK!"
  59. "You said that I-"
  60. >Boss Bitch: "You work, NOW!"
  61. "Okayfine!"
  62. >You slam the newspaper on to the stand
  63. >Boss Bitch: "Deduct pay by one bit for newspaper"
  64. >That conniving bitch
  65. "But...forget it"
  66. >She tosses you the broom
  67. >You tie your apron and start to sweep
  68. "Fucking bitch"
  69. >Boss Bitch: "What was that?"
  70. "Nothing just singing a song softly"
  71. >Boss Bitch: "I pay you to sweep not sing, so sweep"
  72. 4/x
  73.  
  74. >She just gives you an annoyed look
  75. >You only stand her because her husband was okay, a bit of a dick but okay
  76. >He was also the only one to hire you and pay fully
  77. >With the pay you had enough to cover rent and supplies
  78. >All you ever bought were apples, bread, tissues, and camera film
  79. >Boss Bitch: "Anonymous I need you to move some boxes in the storage room"
  80. >You remember that her husband wanted the boxes as they were because of some reason
  81. "Hey, your husband wants them like that"
  82. >Boss Bitch: "I don't care just move them"
  83. "But he may-"
  84. >Boss Bitch: "Just move them!"
  85. "Finefine!"
  86. >You head to the storage room and just stand there
  87. 5/x
  88.  
  89. >She never told you what she wanted exactly
  90. >You go over to her
  91. "Where do you-"
  92. >Boss Bitch: "Why aren't you moving boxes? I said move them"
  93. "Where do you-"
  94. >Boss Bitch: "Do your job"
  95. "I am trying but you-"
  96. >Boss Bitch: "Move the boxes"
  97. "I will but-"
  98. >Boss Bitch: "I don't see you moving boxes"
  99. "I-"
  100. >Boss Bitch slams her hoof down in front of you
  101. >Boss Bitch: "Move them you MULE! I pay you to follow orders not to argue"
  102. "NO! YOUR HUSBAND PAYS ME! NOT YOU! YOUR HUSBAND OWNS THE STORE! NOT YOU!"
  103. >Her mouth drops at your outburst
  104. 6/x
  105.  
  106. "You keep interrupting me and all I wanted to ask is where do you want me to move them and how! But you're such a bitch that you-"
  107. >She throws a box of tampoons into your face
  108. >Boss Bitch with tears in her eyes starts yelling and throwing stuff at you
  109. >Boss Bitch: "YOU'RE FIRED! GO AWAY!"
  110. >You block everything she throws, you have no idea where half this stuff is coming from behind her register
  111. "Fine, WHATEVER YOU CRAZY CUNT"
  112. >As soon as you get out of the door right where you were a few seconds ago the stands slams through the door onto that spot
  113. "Shit...hate to be the one to clean that mess"
  114. >You hear a loud scream coming from inside
  115. >All the ponies around you start to look at you
  116. "I didn't do shit"
  117. >They still look at you funny
  118. 7/x
  119.  
  120. >You decide to head home for a quick fap session to calm you down
  121. >You arrive home and plop down on your bed
  122. >You start to dig under for your box of pony pussy pictures when suddenly a knock gets your attention
  123. "Coming"
  124. >You chuckle imaging how funny it would be if you were spanking the monkey when saying that
  125. >You open the door to see gold armor
  126. "Fuck"
  127. >Gaurd: "You are under arrest for acts of violence. Please folow us, if any attempt to escape is done then by law of Luna authorized force will be neceessory"
  128. "Can I grab a coat?"
  129. >Gaurd: "No"
  130. "...Okay"
  131. >They take you to the jail house
  132. 8/x
  133.  
  134. >Once you're locked away they go over the full reason why you're in here
  135. >Turns out the Boss's wife said you assaulted her and quit the job after disobeying orders
  136. "I'm innocent, she started to throw things at me after firing me"
  137. >Gaurd: "I don't care and by law of Celestia, who do you want us to contact?"
  138. >Rainbow Dash may be loyal but she is hard to find
  139. >Applejack is a good option but you can't annoy you're best possible chance of getting laid
  140. >Spike was still a kid and that gaurdian of his is a mad scientist in hiding
  141. >Fluttershy
  142. "Uh yes could you contact Fluttershy? She is a yellow pegasus that lives by the Everfree Forest edge in a cottage
  143. >The gaurd nods and sends someone to get her and inform her
  144. >You just rest your head into your hand
  145. >You hope she hurries up soon
  146. 9/x
  147.  
  148. >You near someone approaching you from behind
  149. >"Fresh meat"
  150. >Fuck
  151. >By luck Fluttershy flew fast enough after hearing the news
  152. >Gaurd: "Vistor for Anonymous"
  153. "uh uh that's me"
  154. >You see the familar big white muscular pegasus back off of you
  155. >You quickly get out of the jail cell and follow the gaurd
  156. >As soon you walk into the vistor's room all you see is yellow
  157. >FS: "Ohmygosh! Anonymous are you okay?"
  158. "Beah, pwease wet goo of me bace"
  159. >After spitting out fur you tell her what teally happened
  160. >The look on her face scared you, a lot
  161. 10/x
  162.  
  163. >FS: "Don't worry Anonymous, my friends and I-"
  164. "Woah there, we don't need to bother them right now. Just talk to my boss, he may be a dick but he is reasonable. Just tell him what I told you"
  165. >FS: "But-"
  166. "Please don't involve them and tell Rainbow and Applejack I can't make it tonight"
  167. >I don't wanna owe either of those unicorns any favors and have some pissed off mares
  168. >She nods
  169. "But please hurry up...there is a big scary white pegasus with little wimgs and I am afraid he'll-"
  170. >FS: "That's Snowflake. He is nice, just tell him you're my friend. We go way back to flight school"
  171. "uh...okay"
  172. >She leaves and you get taken back to the jail cell
  173. >Snowflake walks up to you
  174. "Hey...uh *gulp* I heard your Fluttershy's friend..."
  175. >You hope this works
  176. >Snowflake: "I am, how is she?"
  177. >You were never this happy being a virgin for another day
  178. >The rest of the night you became good friends with Snowflake
  179. >Turns out he went too fast so many times in a no fast zone he earned a week in jail
  180. >Ponies were calm but you were still careful with the other inmates
  181. >That night you bunked with Snowflake
  182. 11/x
  183.  
  184. >The next day came with a surprise
  185. >Boss: "I'm sorry for all the trouble my wife caused for you. You're not fired and I'll try to convince her to drop the charges"
  186. "Thanks boss"
  187. >Boss: "When you get back I need you to help repair and clean up"
  188. "What but she-"
  189. >Boss: "Next time just move the bucking boxes some where random. She would have then told you were to put them"
  190. >Facepalm
  191. >Boss: "Listen....my wife stopped having esterus a week before you came to work with us"
  192. "And that means?"
  193. >You didn't know much about ponies or horses but esterus meant mating season
  194. >Your boss blushes
  195. >Boss: "Just read a bucking book"
  196. >He leaves in a hurry and you confused
  197. >That night you played Go Fish with Snowflake and some other inmates
  198. 12/x
  199.  
  200. "Go fish"
  201. >The stallion picks up a card
  202. "So guys uh what happens after a mare stops having esterus?"
  203. >They start laughing like crazy
  204. >Pokey: "They get very hormonal and bitchy"
  205. "Sounds like menopause"
  206. >Snowflake: "That's what it is"
  207. "Oh"
  208. >Fucking hormones
  209. >Snowflake won again
  210. >Only thing you had left to bet were two pictues in your socks
  211. "Are pictures of pony ass okay?"
  212. >Pokey: "Depends on the quality"
  213. >You dig out the pictures you had of Fluttershy and Applejack
  214. >They whistle at the sight
  215. >Pokey: "That yellow one has a big plump but the orange one has it firm and big. I just wanna..."
  216. >The table jumped a little
  217. >Snowflakes: "Pokey calm down...you can try to win. Bet those and you're in"
  218. 13/x
  219.  
  220. >Okay you had to win this one because these were really good pictures
  221. >The game went on and you actually won this time
  222. >You won a fedora from Pokey, a jug with strange liquid from Snowflake, and some Apple cider from the quiet stallion
  223. >You took a celebratory swig from the jug
  224. >That was the last thing you remembred before blacking out
  225. >The morning gave you a strange taste in your mouth and in the back of the throat
  226. >The jug and the bottle of apple cider were empty but the photos were on your bed
  227. >You safely put them away and went with the other inmates to wash up
  228. "So Snowflake what happened last night?"
  229. >Snowflake: You got drunk really quick so we dropped you off at your bed"
  230. "Oh okay thanks, by the way what was in that jug"
  231. >Snowflake: "Some roofies and alchol"
  232. "WHAT?!"
  233. >Snowflake: "You were out cold"
  234. "What kind of prison lets you have that?"
  235. >Snowflake: "I have my ways"
  236. >After the shower you were realesed
  237. >Your boss got the charges dropped and he wanted you to get to work
  238. 14/x
  239.  
  240. >At the store were two things
  241. >An annoyed boss and a huge fucking mess
  242. >Boss: "The quicker this gets done, the quicker we can go home"
  243. >Five hours later and with a big back pain to show for it
  244. "There I'm done"
  245. >Boss: "Here is your pay, no deductions"
  246. "Sweet, see ya. And good luck with your wife"
  247. >Boss: "Its not her fault..."
  248. "What?"
  249. >Boss: "Its not her fault...she-she is just mad we couldn't have a kid. Or should I say I could never have a kid"
  250. >Is he really trying to have a close moment with you and defending his crazy ass wife?
  251. >Boss: "She always wanted to have a son to help us run the store...I think she is just mad we have you..."
  252. >Yeah he is
  253. "Its fine... And uh I gotta go"
  254. >Boss: "See you Anonymous..."
  255. >That got you weirded out
  256. 15/x
  257.  
  258. >"Hi"
  259. >You look towards the voice
  260. "Oh hey"
  261. >It was Bubble Butt
  262. >BB: "I made you some muffins"
  263. "I thought those were for your boyfriend"
  264. >You idiot! Its free food
  265. "But uh I can take them, looks good"
  266. >BB: "I had some extra so uh yeah...they are"
  267. >She turns around and you take the plate off her back
  268. >BB: "Uh bye"
  269. >She quickly flies off
  270. "Wait! Whats your name?!"
  271. >From far away you could hear her say Ditzy
  272. "Awesome..."
  273. >That night dinner was muffins and it was amazing
  274. 16/16
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