fallow

"idk really everything is afraid of our old dinosaur bones rolling away from the swamp where we first kissed and baby, oh darling", and with that she whispered softer and softer and pulled me towards her. purring and mewing and the moon grew brighter and watched us like a voyeur.

"its true that I speak loudly and grossly", she confirmed to me, "its true that we are both dying and that the world will watch us blink away, without doing anything about it", she said this and I saw in the peeping tom moon's light a tear break away from her wet eyes.

"I cannot believe that we are going to die, and nothing becomes more simple", "we used to know things, everything, exactly what kind of statue that we were", "but now I am reading gnostic tracts and useless stories that only the most blind people believe" and a great bird flew over our heads cracking out prehistoric sounds, a heron in the night sounding the alarm. she sighed heavily and I wanted to catch the sigh in a glass jar, if only my life had an audience of millions to worship a keepsake like that. most relics end up in the dumpsters, or perhaps endlessly cycled and reposted on ebay by ghosts and phantoms.

as if she heard my thoughts she asked, "will you still love me when I'm a ghost?" "will you still love me when I'm invisible?" she needed everything to verbally acknowledge love for her. the wind rolled across the long weeds and together they said that they loved her, and she smiled. a rat crawled up to our outstretched palms and ate our offering of tropical skittles "I love you" it said before scurrying away. she cooed back at it. we got up off of the fallen log and walked down the path. we inhaled a few gnats passing through their swarm and breathing them back out they drifted at us "we love you..." and her wet eyes smiled.

the field is fallow and the weeds and flowers sway between thoughts, and the moon wants an arm so that it can reach out. a metal cannister left to rust, I wanted to crawl inside. she said she would wait for me. I pushed my finger across its orange warts and they flaked away and the metal shivered. looking up I could see the holes that had rotted into the metal and the passage of light through them. a black shape moves admist the dry leaves, its a little frog covered in the rusted dust. "neither of us should be in here" it said to the rust covered man looking down at it, I scooped up the frog and released us outside.

on the bus ride home I said "of course I would love you if you were a ghost"