Escape from Pinkie and Shy (Request)

Asked to use:
Towels
Mice
Dice
Peg leg
Paper clip
Bottle of Frangelico
Flat tire
Roll of toilet paper

>Day of random in Equestria
>You wake up and step out of bed
>Walk over to the window and look out at the town
>So peaceful
>So calm
>Suddenly, Pinkiepussy
>Right on the fucking window
>She's sticking to the window using only the suction of her vagina
>You nope to the bathroom
>Shower and shave
>Didn't eat last night so no shit
>You dry off and wrap yourself in your towel when you realize
Shit...I need clean clothes...
>You have no idea how to clean your clothes
>And Fluttershy is the only one you can actually trust to clean them...and return them
Well then.
>You walk downstairs with your towel on and there is a knock on the door
>You open it and see Fluttershy with a peg leg and an eye patch
What the fuck?
>"Arrg! Being a pirate yer fetish mate?"
No.
>She takes off the eyepatch and tears stream down her face
>"It isn't?"
Woah. What's wrong?
>She's never been sad like this
>She shows you her peg leg
>"This isn't fake Anon! I c-cut off my leg so we can be together!"
Okay. I have two things to say about this. One, you are fucking crazy. And two, leave.
>She looks up at you furiously
>You look back at her
>Shit! The Stare has you paralyzed
Must...look...away...
>She whistles and you hear a loud pop noise and then a thud
>Then Pinkie is next to her
>Pinkie grabs you and takes you out of your house
>She carries you to Fluttershy's as she keeps the Stare
Fuck you both.
>PP: "Gladly!"
>You are carried into her house and thrown down on the floor
>The moment your gaze breaks with Fluttershy, you stand back up and turn to run
>But you trip over the towel and hit your head on the table
>You roll over with your hand on your head
Fucking...towels...
>Pinkie drags you up the stairs and throws you in Fluttershy's room and locks the door
>You can hear them giggle and talk outside of the room
>You stand up and check the windows
>Both locked and you would break something if you jumped out them anyways
Fuck...
>You slump down to the floor
>There is a noise like little feet running around
What the fuck?
>It's coming from the bed
>You inch over to the bed
>You lift up the cover that hangs off the side
>Two mice run out
>It startles you but you regain composure
>The mice run to the corner
>Something catches your eye
>You reach for it
>It's pink dice
What are these doing here?
>Wait a minute Anon! Think here for a second!
>What would Macgyver do?!
>You look under the bed again
>You see a paper clip, a bottle of Frangelico, a flat tire, and a roll of toilet paper
>Why there was a flat tire you do not want to know
>You take all of it out from under there
>You stop and listen
>PP: "Should we go in there now?"
>FS: "N-no let him f-feel helpless...that makes m-me so wet..."
>Absolutely digusting
>You put one die right in front of the door
>You take the tire and tie it to one corner of the bed
>Then you open her human sized wardrobe
>You stretch out the tire from the bed to the wardrobe handle
>You bend it a little and it slings back
>Perfect slingshot
>You take the paperclip and carefully place it bent in between the cracks in the floor in front of the door so it sticks up
>You take the toilet paper and create underwear for yourself
>It's not good to be naked
>You hear the door clicking open
>You grab the bottle of Frangelico and place it in the slingshot
>You draw it back
>The door opens in and Pinkie comes in first
>She slips on the die and falls to the ground
>With pinpoint accuracy she stabs her face on the paperclip and keels over crying
>You take this chance to throw the other die at the mice in the corner
>They shriek and Fluttershy runs in
>Her face is met with a bottle of Frangelico
>It shatters and the glass stabs into her face
>She too falls over crying
>You jump over both of them and run out of there
>Fuck it you can not have clean clothes for a while
>It's better than
>Fucking Pinkie and Fluttershy