Who is Q? - Part 1

 1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I got it fighting the Viet Cong. You'd hate to see the other guy.

 2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
At least three novels written out in sharpie.

 3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
All of them. At the same time. I'm very talented.

 4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Mathcore.

 5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
It depends on your frame of reference, if you know what I mean.

 6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Soup.

 7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
That's Mrs. to you.

 8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
A warehouse filled with nothing but pogs.

 9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
1*10^35 Planck lengths.

 10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Yes. It's hard to live in the closet.

 11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No. The dark is my good friend, and I am offended by this question.

 12. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Silvio Berlusconi.

 13. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
That somebody will discover my secret identity.

 14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Anti-green.

 15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/GETTING PROPOSED TO AT?
In the mirror.

 16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Both. Shaken, not stirred.

 17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
That little plastic tray in the middle.

 18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Canada.

 19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Infrared, polarized 7 degrees from the vertical plane.

 20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
No, but I've eaten silverfish.

 21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
A swift kick in the pants.

 22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Yes. It's orange flavored. Want some?

 23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
I tried it with my knees and elbows, but it didn't work.

 24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Clothing?

 25. WHO IS THE HOTTEST FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
Nicolas Cage. (For both of them.)

 26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yes.

 27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
An imaginary one.

 28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
FALL in love when he's LEAFING, huh? I'm on to you.

 29. WEIRDEST DREAM?
I had a dream that I was asleep once. It came true!

 30. GIVE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
-7e^(i*pi)

 31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
No?

 32. SUNSET OR STARS?
Everybody knows that the sun is a star!

 34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Yes. It was cold out there, though, so I came back in.

 35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Bug, Ghost, and Dark.

 36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
I'm so famous, everybody I meet is famous by proxy.

 38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
I did it to save Prince Albert, okay? I wasn't joking!

 39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
No. There's an odd number of people who will ever exist. Sorry, Sarah.

 40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Saving the world and also eating cheese and crackers.

 41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes. I sometimes miss my little brother.

 42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My left eyebrow.

 43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yes. I wore them on my toe nails. All the cool kids were doing it.

 44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Another birthday.

 45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
All of them.

 46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was named after the set of all rational numbers. I guess that isn't a person, though.

 47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE PREFERRED SEX?
Light switches, if you know what I mean.

 48. WHAT'S ONE THING YOU MISS ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
I already told you. It's Mrs!

 49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
The kind that kills you if it gets in your eyes.

 50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I'm not sure, but I think it likes me. I'm too shy to ask, though.

 51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Mystery meat.

 52. ANY BAD HABITS?
I never take off my socks. I just add new ones on top every day.

 53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Only when people accuse me of being jealous.

 54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes. In fact, we're going steady.

 55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
It was an okay movie.

 56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Does matter look? Of course it does. Therefore, looks matter.

 57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Through a special valve I had installed in the back of my head.

 58. AFRAID OF SPIDERS?
Only if they have too many legs.

 59. WHAT’S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To have a Latin American soccer announcer scream it out as I achieve it.

 60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY?
My Legos. I couldn't afford caltrops back then.

 61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
All ten of them, baby.

 62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Whenever I saw Barney, I always got sad thinking about how he's the last of his kind since all the other dinosaurs died off.

 63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Never.

 64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
You know, you don't have to yell. It's getting really tiring.

 65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I usually look for a beating heart. Don't worry, I'm a surgeon.

 66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
We just call him Nick.

 67. EVER DANCED IN THE RAIN?
It never rains here. Not even if I do a rain dance. (Send help.)

 68. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Ancient Aliens.

 69. WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
With a deck of cards.

 70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Toothpaste.

 71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
See questions 1 and 43.

 72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
No. This post is being sent via brain waves.

 73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
If my plans succeed, there won't even BE a tonight!

 74. WHAT'S THE FASTEST YOU'VE EVER GONE IN A CAR?
88 miles per hour.

 75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Punk Vuvuzela Rock.

 77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
The blood of my enemies. It tasted like victory.

 78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Alexander Graham Bell. It's been a while.

 79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE PREFERRED SEX?
His pocket protector.

 80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Dumb crap like this, apparently.

 81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Shoelaces.

 82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
LGBT History Month.

 83. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
The type that comes from kind strangers.

 84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Only on Tuesdays.

 85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
#B72BF8

 86. EYE COLOR?
#BE2828

 87. PRAY?
Prayer doesn't have a color, silly.

 88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Sonic. Gotta Go Fast™!

 89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Anywhere that serves waffles.

 90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yes, but I don't think it likes me. Probably because I reuse too many jokes.

 91. Last thing you watched?
My hopes and dreams crumbling around me.

 92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Monday.

 93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Please do. It should help the mood.

 95. KISSES OR HUGS?
xoxo

 96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Oops, I ran out of wit.

 97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
My freedom.

 98. STRONGEST SENSE?
My proprioception.

 99. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING?
The Anarchist Cookbook, Helter Skelter, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

 100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE?
:J