Tracy's Treasure Tales Entry 1

Episode 1: Put a "Cherry" on it, love!

>[An animatronic T-Rex dressed as an explorer is seen running through a jungle with her companion, a radical looking raptor.]

>Tracy: Oy! Pick up the pace you twit, their on our tail!

>Randy: Man speak for yourself Trace, i got one right on me!

>[There is an endoskeleton skull biting Randy's tail. The dino duo are being chased by a tribal horde of naked nates. Randy manages to whack the head off his tail. Tracy stops in the middle of the jungle, looking around using her 'binocular vision']

>Randy: awe man here they come! what are we gonna do Trace?!

>Tracy: Keep ya trousers on, I'm lookin for our exit strategy mate!

>Randy: you know i don't wear pants!

>Tracy: What does that say about your patience ya twit?

>[Tracy manages to spot a long vine]

>Tracy: Hop onto me!

>Randy: w-w-whoa! T-Tracy, here and now? i didn't you'd ever see me in that way-

>Tracy: Get ya mind outta the trash you bloody wanker! climb onto me back & lets vinesauce on outta here!

>Randy: oh right right! lets twenty three skidoo out of this temple of doom!

>Tracy: been watchin too many o' them adventure movies again Randy

>[Tracy grabs onto a vine as Randy hops on her back, her size & strength more than capable of handling the rad raptor. The duo are now swinging on vines, dodging still spears & arrows in the process.]

>Randy: Dude! These Endomen are like, Endo-mad!

>Tracy: Maybe if you didn't knock over their little totem pole like a bloody piker, we wouldn't be in this situation!

>Randy: Oh don't try to shift all the blame on me girl! You were the one who told me to get to higher ground to get a vantage point! I swear that Totem pole was stable looking! and besides...your the one who just stole a precious jewel!

>Tracy: It's called DISCOVERING, shiela! This rare blood cherry diamond is part of the lost collection of "Fruit Diamonds" that belonged to the fabled "Fruit Loops" kingdom here in the land of hard-to-pronouncia!

>[She hops onto another vine, as one tribal naked nate grabs the other. It breaks sending it down]

>Tracy: And of course, like the little wank that you are, you gotta deflect responsibility on to someone else!

>[Tracy & Randy touch down smoothly, landing on a dirt & rocky terrain. The two look back to see the naked nates still coming at them out of the wood works.]

>Tracy: Crikey! these metal headed Blokes are a persistent bunch they are!

>Randy: I dunno about you, but i am real ready to totally leave my carbon footprint and high tail it out of here!

>Tracy: The pirate vulps dingy ain't too far from here. What do ya say Randy?

>[Tracy pulls out a prehistoric looking skateboard. The wheels are made from stone, the board made from bone, and on the underside were some Flintstones decals]

>Tracy:Think you can keep up with ol Rolling Thunder?

>Randy: That depends, can you keep up with the most radical raptor to ever exist?

>[Tracy assumes a predatory stance & starts power sprinting, while Randy starts shredding it up alongside Tracy, jumping over rocks while she smashes through some.]

>Randy: Ahaha! Look at'em! these chumps at got nothing on my style! [Performs an olie over a ridge, all while somehow dodging more arrows] They can't even hit me!

>Tracy: Oy! quit being such a show boating cunt!

>Randy: Language Trace! Your dang lucky there ain't no kids here to hear that!

>Tracy: The little buggers don't annoy me half as much as you do! [Two naked nates try to block her off, only to get dropped kicked hard by the power of Tracy's "Man Crusha's"] And unlike you being knee high to a grasshopper, the little ankle biters actually listen to what i say & teach!

>Randy: Hey don't say that, i always listen to what you say!

>Tracy: Oh really now love?

>Randy: Yeah man! I never thought i'd see myself exploring the land where my favorite cereal came from! It's totally rad

>Tracy: Bloody hell...i swear on me oldies fossils, your the biggest bludger i ever known!

>[They see Foxy's boat in the distance]

>Randy:  We're nearly there Trace!

>Tracy: Well that's just apples mate.

>[Suddenly a large endoskeleton riding a mechanical elephant blocks their path]

>Randy: aww dude that big hunk'a junk is dock blocking us!

>Tracy: Not if this clever girl has anything to say about it!

>[She stops right infront of the endo Tribesman mounted elephant, stomping both her legs in challenge & defiance]

>Randy: I'll provide a distraction! [Randy rolls up onto a ridge] Hey metal head, the way you guys make totem poles are a joke!

>[The Tribal Endoskelly shrieks at him & starts throwing rebar spears at him]

>Tracy: Looks like he be the artist for them totem poles mate!

>Randy: Artists can be so touchy when you give them critique! [Says Randy while he whacks away the spears with his board]

>Tracy: Theres different from being a critic with some honest advice [Leaps up to a rock to avoid the elephant stomping her] and just being a typical clacker!

>[Tracy kneels down, growling while preparing for a long jump]

>Tracy: ARE YOU BLOKES READY FOR THE THUNDAH FROM DOWN UNDAH?! [Tracy roars defiantly]

>Randy: Oh man this is gonna be mega awesome! [He says while hiding behind a rock]

>Tracy jumps into the air, unleashing a ferocious life-like T-Rex roar as she starts spinning into a ball. The spinning only intensifies as lightning strikes her from out of bloody nowhere

>Tracy: Here comes the THUNDAH!
>Roars Tracy as she spins to the endo chief, striking it directly with a flying, thunderous drop kick. The impact was heavy & loud enough to reenact the sound of thunder

>Randy: Awwwwww Yeeeaaaaahhh!!!!

>Tracy lands right on the sorry endo skull, crushing it

>Tracy: Now thats how we do it in the bush! Come on lets go Randy!

>Across the way, within the waters was Foxy & his private little boat. The mechanical vulpine was catching up on fishing, all whilst humming a sea shanty when suddenly the familiar roar of an explorer was heard across the way

>Tracy: OY YOU VULP! START THE BLOODY BOAT! [Tracy roars. Suddenly Foxy's eyepatch lifts straight up at te sight of large endoskeleton hoarde chasing Tracy & Randy]

>Foxy: Shiver me timbers! [Shouts Foxy as he immediatly drops his line & hurridly starts the engines, trying to get his old dingy to work] don'cha start givin me lip now, start! [Foxy bangs his hook on the controls, which makes the boat's motor spring to life]

>The duo are fast approaching, spears & arrows following them from behind. They get on the boat just in time as it speeds off toward the sea. A large gathering of naked nates shriek obscenities towards the fleeting crew]

>Tracy: [Laughs] haha! bonza! we outran them buncha' lunk heads didn't we?

>Randy: [Laughs even harder] Look how mad they are, i think i might of heard one of them shout an expletive!

>Randy goes into a laughing fit when suddenly an arrow gets caught in his mouth, holding it wide open. Foxy & Tracy get caught up in their own laughing as Randy tries in vain to pull out the arrow.

>Foxy: Yar it be fitting for such a loud mouth as him!

>Tracy: haha! aight stand still mate, i got this.

>[Tracy turns her back to Randy & readies her tail. She smacks Randy across the face. snapping the arrow & making his head go 360 for 10 seconds before coming to a stop, eyes rolling for a second]

>Randy: g-gee...thanks Tracy

>Tracy: No worries.

>Foxy: Ay! did you find what you were lookin fer out there?

>Tracy: Yeah mate! Hey Randy, ya got the cherry?

>Randy: You bet i do, lemme just break it out [reaches into one pocket, pulls out a duncan yoyo] Not a cherry. [Reaches inside pocket again, pulls out a vintage walkman] finally found my radical tunes! [Reaches through his other pocket, pulls out a pocket monster card] hey i've been looking for that!

>Tracy: RANDY!

>Randy: Hang on, hang on! i got it here! [scurries through his other pocket, and pulls out a tiny dancing mangle] Aww now thats just cute, but still not a cherry! [puts mangle back in his pocket and scrounges around again, this time pulling out a tiny balloon boy.] Now thats just annoying! [randy throws him into the sea].

>Tracy: TODAY, RANDY!

>Randy: It's here i swear! [Starts to pull random crap out of his pockets. including pog chips & game tokens] Wait! i remember now! [Randy reaches for the back of his hooded jacket, and pulls out the 'Blood Cherry' diamond. a double diamond whih gives off a blood red color when held up to the sun. It is also connected by a piece of branched jade, thus making it look like a cherry]

>Tracy: Ace's! [Snatches the diamond while bringing Randy closer to her] Get a look at this mate, an actual blood cherry! Fabled to have belonged to the 'Fruit Loops', a lost kingdom that flourished several centuries ago!

>Randy: Y-Ya don't say? [Randy adjusts his sunglasses slightly]

>Tracy: The kingdom went as far back as 250 B.S.

>Randy: B.S.? is that what i think it means?

>Tracy: No you daft show pony! It literally means  "Before Servos".

>Randy: OOOooohhhh...whoa! thats some radikool ancient history there!

>Tracy: Ya got that right mate, wait til we show Goldie & ol Fazzy pants!

>Randy: Pffftt yeah! With a treasure this, The museums gonna get twice as many visitors! [Rubs his hands together] And gives us a major payday!

>Tracy: And it gives this ol girl plenty o' time to get some research done on this lovely little cherry on the voyage back home!
[She squeezes Randy more against her man crushing thighs in am embrace] I got you to thank to mate!

>Randy: [Taken surprise by the sudden thigh embrace] h-huh?!

>Tracy: You may be the most daft, no-hoper wanker i ever known in me life, but you'll always be my Nipper!

>Randy: [Blushing from the unexpected appreciation] Aww geez Trace...i just like being there for ya.

>Tracy: I know ya do mate, just quit actin like a mongrel half the time we go trekkin!

>Randy: I'll try to be more Radical for ya, i promise!

>Tracy: Bloody good. and with that bit'o business outta the way, full speed ahead captain Foxy! i got me some compo & learnin to gain!

[Foxy utters a hearty captains laugh as the ship sails into the sunset.]

Stay tuned for the next installment of Tracy's Treasure Tales!