Why Do Some Gays Support Republicans?

To see why we gay republicans need to support Republicans over the alegedly "gay-friendly" Democrats, let's pretend for a few minutes that in 2004, the Republican party, for whatever reasons, pretty much evaporates. Democrats control the Senate, the House, the White House, and most of the governorships of the nation. The year is now 2020...

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On the evening of July 4, 2020, I am riding the bus home from work. There will be no Independence Day celebrations; now that we all know that our Founding Fathers were racist, sexist, homophobic bigots, it is not appropriate to celebrate the founding of our nation. The bus is crowded and I have to stand up. Almost no one can afford a car since the gas tax raised the price of gas to $8 a gallon and the new regulations protecting the environment drove the car companies almost to bankruptcy. Oddly enough, pollution and extinctions of endangered species had only increased.

I get off the bus a few blocks away from my home to stop at the grocery store. The shelves are kind of barren; it's hard for me to remember what the stores of my youth were like, with their crowded shelves and wide variety of products. But now our solidly Democratic government has been protecting us from the exploitation of the evil corporations that used to produce that merchandise for a decade and a half. I make a few carefully budgeted purchases; income tax now takes 70% of income, requiring all consumers to be fiscal conservatives in their personal purchases.

I begin to walk the few blocks to my home, but two large men grab me and drag me into an alley. I spend the next hour being raped and beaten. When they are finished, they steal my groceries and the few dollars I have. In my youth, I carried a gun for self-defense, but in this enlightened era, we know that gun ownership causes crime, and consequently it has been outlawed.

I get on another bus -- there is no way I could afford a taxi now that I've been robbed -- and nearly an hour later am at the hospital. Like all hospitals for the last decade, it is owned and paid for by the government. They tell me that they will put me on their waiting list and perhaps see me in two weeks. I protest, "Isn't this an emergency? Can't I see a doctor right now, just for a few minutes?" They explain, "Well, you used up your monthly allotment of health care already. Everyone gets an equal amount; that's only fair. Also, you know that there are very few doctors or nurses anymore, as these jobs now pay next to nothing, and there's a severe shortage of medicines of all kinds, unless we can get Congress to increase our funding again. I suggest you take some aspirin."

From there I go to the police station to file a report about the crime. After taking the report, the policeman assures me, "If -- er, I mean, *when* -- we find the culprits, I promise you that they'll be sentenced to six months of therapy. Poor guys; they obviously came from underprivileged backgrounds."

"Um... isn't there any chance they might go to jail?" I ask tentatively.

"Jail?!? And how are we going to make room for them in our jails? I suppose you want us to release all the tobacco company executives," he says sarcastically. "Wait a minute -- were your attackers African-American? Or Asian-American? Or Arabic-American? That's the real point, isn't it? You're a racist who thinks all persons of colors should be jailed and persecuted!"

"Of course not," I say meekly, and leave. I get on another bus, and now, nearly midnight, I'm home at last.

I'm greeted by my life partner and her suitcases. "I'm sorry, [Moselle], but I'm leaving you."

"What? Why?"

"Well, John who I work with asked me to marry him. After the increase in violent crime in our neighborhood, I need someone to protect me, and that means a man. He's tall and strong; you're 5'3 and female. If we still had a police force that actually arrested people, or if we could own guns, it would be okay, but as it is...."

"But he's a bully and a jerk! You know that there's nothing to stop him from leaving you any time he feels like!" I remind her.

"But at least I'll have his protection for the time that he still finds me attractive. It's practically suicide for a woman to leave her home alone these days."

There is nothing I can say to this. Almost no women are still willing to live the Lesbian life anymore; the need for protection in a violent world forces most women to seek a male protector.

The next morning on my way to the bus stop, I pick up some newspapers to read. "The Conservative News", the only paper that still opposes the ruling party, has an article about the human rights violations still going strong in Saddamia, formerly known as the Arabian peninsula. After the defeat of George W. Bush in 2004, no one except Israel has opposed Saddam's efforts to take over the entire Middle East, plus a chunk of Africa. Israel resisted for a long time, with no help from Europe or Democratic America, but eventually fell. Now all former Israeli citizens have been rounded up and put into camps, where they are being tortured and slaughtered at a rate that makes Nazi Germany look like amateur hour. The Democratic president of the US, like all of the Democratic presidents since Bush, is trying hard to resolve the situation diplomatically. For the last 15 years, Saddam has received an unrelenting stream of diplomacy from the US, and has cheerfully continued annexing other nations and torturing his people. But all of this is oddly missing from the mainstream newspapers, which I start reading next.

The mainstream papers are full of the Democratic president's latest actions on gay rights. During his campaign, he gave a stirring speech: "All Americans should be equal regardless of sexual orientation. I condemn any politician who has ever said anything anti-gay. I promise that if elected, I will ensure complete political, legal equality for homosexuals."

Of course, all the Democratic presidents since Bush had said the same thing, and we still had DOMA and no hate crimes legislation and so on, but at least they *said* it. So I voted for this man who was so openly pro-gay.

An attempt to repeal DOMA had just narrowly passed Congress, and the president had vetoed it. He had also introduced a bill which would re-criminalize homosexual intercourse. I am not surprised; this is how all Democratic politicians have always operated. I wonder how homosexuals in their 20's would react if I tried to tell them that sodomy was legalized under a Republican president by a Supreme Court made up almost entirely of Republican appointees.

Another item in the paper says that the president is also backtracking on his promise to combat the newest terrorist menace, Cuba. A year earlier, Cuba dropped a couple of nuclear warheads on San Francisco. The president, then a mere candidate, pledged to take military action against them. After taking office, he explained that he would only actually do so with the approval of the UN. Most UN nations had approved, but the nation that gave us Stalin, the nation that gave us Hitler, and the nation that cheerfully cooperated with Hitler all withheld their approval, so we had taken no action against Cuba. They had dropped another nuclear bomb on Los Angeles, but after much diplomacy, they had promised not to drop anymore.

I arrive at work at 9 am. My office is on the 30th floor of one of the very few skyscrapers left in America. It's hard to believe that in my youth, the country was full of proud structures. Almost all of them have been destroyed by the frequent terrorist attacks which have occurred almost every month since Bush was voted out of office. But there hasn't been one for almost two and a half months now; maybe all that diplomacy is finally paying off.

Just as I think that, I hear a scream. I look up and out the window just in time to see the jet heading straight for us.

My last thought before the impact is, "Thank God our president said nice things about homosexuals."

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It'll never happen? Of course not. Because the Republican party won't let it. But this is precisely what gay and "gay-friendly" Democrats would like to deliver us into. I think I've made my case as clear as it possibly can be.