Grieve-Tan Origins 2: Electric Boogaloo

“Oi Anon-kun, want to play Rugby with us? I’ll let you play on my team.” Rex said to you.

That was the Captain of the Rugby team who just spoke to you. No one ever turned down his offers to play. But..you decide not to play with them and reject the kind offer this afternoon, seeing as finding out more about Grieve-tan’s past was much more fascinating than fumbling a ball back and forth right now. The Rugby Troopers always had enough guys to play in their games anyway. And Rex is only noticing you now because you know the Captain of the Kendo team.

You travel over to CIS to try to watch Grieve-tan practice at the school gym. Of course, you put your uniform inside your backpack again, since CIS pride was very high this time of year before the regionals. Nothing would stop them from harassing preppy, Republic High dweebs. But instead of the usual crowd who’d stay for their ride, or just the depraved who likes to watch girls get sweaty and fight, there was a massive throng of students much to your shock. It was difficult getting past the chatty BD’s, the deliciously brown rolling fan girls, and the pompadour parading SBD’s, you find yourself at the front of the action.

Stepping around, a piece of paper latches onto your shoe. It was one of the many propaganda posters you saw on your way to the auditorium with stunning imagery saying: “AFTER SCHOOL: WITNESS THE POWER OF OUR KENDO CLUB. ALL OF OUR OPPONENTS SHALL TREMBLE UNDER OUR MIGHT. - C.I.S.” It was the kind of propaganda you’d read in the textbook chapters about the 1940’s. Watching them fight was some sort of spectacle these guys. But it was commonplace to you now though. On the fighting floor it was Ventress-chan vs Grieve-tan in this practice match.

There was a certain art in their conflict. The smaller Ventress parried the blows of Grieve-tan’s quadruple bokken techniques. Though the bald one’s techniques of evasion seemed light and airy, her attacks and jabs were what Luminara-sensei would call: “Unrefined and sloppy.” Like your handwriting during the last test you took in her class. Grieve-tan was little slower than Ventress, but you knew she held more concentration and focus in her style. But especially, you knew her ferocity.

With only thirty seconds on the clock, it seemed that Ventress-chan and her double bokken style would win the match at a 12:9 ratio. Grieve-tan, knew baldy was tired at this point, and used the strength she saved during the match against her. Just when she sensed error in Ventress-chan’s step, she unleashed one of her signature moves. Distracting her with the chainsaw technique she developed, Grieve-tan used the other arms to attack, and slash, and jab, and slash, and jab. Then finally the practice match was over, as they bowed and marched down to sit. You could see the scowl on Ventress-chan’s face underneath her face guard while sitting down. As the timer came down past zero, the attending judges called the match at a 12:31 ratio. Deputy Headmaster Dooku then addressed the whole student body who was present at the gym, and dismissed them to go home. Grieve-tan got up and put on her cape.

Suddenly before you could walk over and surprise Grieve-tan and congratulate her, the crowd around you has amassed into one being, pulling you closer into the maw of the double-door exit. But before you do, you can see the image of the ever shrinking Deputy Headmaster Dooku speak with Grieve-tan, as they leave the building in the other direction.

Once the crowd drops you off on the ground outside the gym, you walk over to the parking lot. Sneaking past the bald sore loser, venting out to the Maul sisters, you hide behind some bushes that covers you completely. You happen to almost blow your cover, when a mantis jumps on your shoulder, but brush it off. You can never look at mantes the same anymore. There, you spy Dooku-sensei being picked up by his chauffeur, driving away with Grieve-tan following suit in her monocycle. Using that homing beacon Obi-Wan-Sempai gave you in case you have to follow them, now the fun can begin.

After about a half hour, you follow Dooku-sensei and Grieve-tan to his estate, a large mansion. You could always ring the doorbell, but sneaking in seemed much cooler. Just before the gates close on you, you roll over and hide behind some topiary shaped just like Dooku-sensei. Although he had hired thugs guarding the area, somehow you made it passed all of them. Good job. Those hours of playing Metal Gear Solid really paid off. Crawling to the backyard, then climbing in through the windows, Dooku should have invested in that home-security systems the Americans had. If it were like that, he wouldn’t have so many intruders as he complains to have. Landing on the polished tile floor of the mansion, the light echo of your shoes resounded. Whoever polishes these floors must have worked pretty hard. The wise words of Obi-Wan Sempai remind you that taking off your shoes help you sneak around better in houses.

Of course now you would be a good time to think about the escape plan, but noises coming down the hall attract your presence. Thuds, grunts, and the familiar sound of wood hitting wood. You could even hear what sounds like a weapons rack falling down.The sounds get louder as you approach what appears to be Dooku-sensei’s personal dojo. The grunts turn into words, and then into sentences. The words get clearer as you eavesdrop.

“Yes, YES! Destroy my focus!”

Their bokken clashed, with the snapping of wood loud on your ears. Peering over, you saw Grieve-tan trying her hardest to at least touch him, but he parried all her blows. It was hard to fathom someone as old as Dooku-sensei to actually block every single hit. You notice the individual traits that all of his other students emulated combined into one man. He owned Ventress’ speed, Maul’s balance, and Savage’s brute strength. It was one of the most immaculate duels you ever saw. And you seemed so proud for Grieve-tan, using the most unorthodox moves, contorting in an unearthly stance. At one point, she even used her feet to hold her bokken and her ground. Those muscles of her, undulating with pure strength she owned with pride. The sweat, made her shirt see through, where was once to see soft flab, now slim and toned abs. To you, she was the testament and the peak of human abilities. But, she was getting tired too, looking for room to breathe with each swipe.

“No, now you’re holding your bokken to tightly!”

In one swift cut, he disarmed her upper right hand, yelping in pain. It span toward Dooku-sensei, but he grabs it in mid-air. Their session had just ended.

“Now, too lightly.”

Dooku-sensei glances at the bokken. He doesn’t recognize the design, but you do.

“A new one?”

That was K’Khruhk-sempai's bokken. Or, at least it was until Grieve-Tan got to him.

“Your training has served me well, it has earned me many trophies.” She said, tucking the rest of her bokken into the pockets sewn into her cape. Dooku-sensei goes on to lecture her about keeping form for the upcoming regionals. While he does such, Grieve-tan unbuttons the two top buttons on her shirt, revealing a little more than just skin. Was that a pink bra she has on today? She grabbed a towel with one of her hands, guzzling down some water at the same time, with some of the drops falling onto her frame. Man, was she some master at multi-tasking. While he discourses her on unorthodox technique, you see her bending her back from all the strain, giving out a face of what seemed to be some pride. Probably pride that she did best what she ever did. All this leaves you go off and wonder: “Why did I sneak in when I just could have rang the doorbell or something?” Chance are you’d get killed for this of you get caught, or worse. This is was a retarded idea, and its all your fault you stupid boy. But, when you peer back into the room to find a holoprojection playing. But it’s no normal teacher, or faculty member talking to them. It was the true headmaster of CIS. Headmaster Sidious.

Aw, hell naw.

You start to panic. *The* Headmaster. The Headmaster who was known as the most powerful but enigmatic lord of the CIS. Some of the rumors say that he killed forty men in his time as a teacher. Or was it fifty men? That’s not important now. You don’t care about what secret plans he has for the upcoming regionals, or how he might fake his own kidnapping as PrinciPalpatine or something like that. No. What matters now is getting out of dodge and ringing the doorbell like a normal person. But, you remember how shiny that floor was. Yeah, you felt like you wanted to appreciate the hard working person who polishes these floors less when you slip and fall face down on the ground. Now you’re pretty sure they heard you fall.

As soon as you hear Dooku’s voice say: “Intruders!” You’re up and out, heading for the doors, taking a left into the hallway. But like some terrible horror movie, there they are. Those two brown girls who never leave Grieve-tan alone, just come rolling in out of nowhere. Where the hell did they come from? They uncurl from ball mode and block your escape. You try to run the other way, but there’s Dooku-sensei, standing right there. Its a trap. He withdraws a black sidearm, hidden underneath his waist. And then for the first time in your life, you feel the sting of many volts.

It’s not fun getting tazed. It’s feels like you pulled your hamstring, except your body is one giant muscle. This is what your father described to you as doing the “Electric Boogaloo” when the cops thought he partied too hard. Your whole body is searing with pain, thinking you could just die in that matter of seconds. The voltage stops, but you don’t want to move. Moving hurts a lot. Even if you twitched involunatrily, All you wanted was some damned information about Grieve-tan. It didn’t have to end like this. Why didn’t you ring that doorbell? Now you’re on the ground, twitching like some dying animal. You hoped Grieve-tan wouldn’t find you. You could almost hear her lispy, saliva filled voice say:

“Idiot.”

Yeah, just like that. Hey, wait a minute. That was Grieve-Tan, standing right above you. Behind those red glasses of hers was an expression of both disappointment and embarrassment. As you look around you, the room fills with the Commando guards you tried to avoid earlier, now at her side. You look at Grieve-tan with meekness.

“Grieve-Tan, I--”

“I don’t want to hear a word.”

She kicks you in the face, and then bows toward Dooku-sensei. His face is filled with his own bout of discouragement. The Commandos aim their rifle barrels down you. The dots of their laser pointers conjoined to meet your forehead.

“Back away,” Grieve-tan said, to her army of Commandos “I’ll deal with this one myself.”

Dooku-sensei gave the sign for his men to stand down. Yanking out the taser barbs, she picks you up by the collar, lifting you high up in the air. Grieve-tan was a tall girl. Perhaps half a head taller than Savage-tan, who herself stood at 1.9 meters. But she brings you to face level, while you note the dark, red eyes she has right now.

“If you value your life, I suggest we talk this out when you come to my house, tomorrow. You have tons of explaining to do, Anon-kun.” Grieve-tan said, clearly holding back her fury for later.

“But...”

"THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR EMBRASSING ME IN FRONT OF SENSEI!!!" Yelling, bits of spit fly onto your face while she tells her battle cry. Using all four of her arms, Grieve-tan turns your world upside down. Jumping, she puts your head between her thighs, then drops down onto the ground with a force that could potentially break necks. You could’ve sworn that you heard some of the tiles break, but you also recognize that move. The piledriver, a wrestling move; A very painful move indeed. Grieve-tan leaves the mansion with everyone else escorting her(including the brown girls). Well...everyone except Dooku-sensei. Maybe now would be a good time to talk about Grieve-tan.

(To be continued)