PMD Update #4

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon:
"System Error 01: Move Forth! Team Beta's Fight Against the Machine!" (Update)
	In the beginning, there were four of us, me and my friends. We knew we were special when we were Chosen for duties many of our peers could only dream of. Observed since birth for special characteristics necessary for us to Test, we, on the stroke of midnight before our birthdays, were Awakened. How, we did not know. We lived in a facility whose location was unknown to us, with other like-minded people of our age group for a year prior to the Injection. Some of us demonstrated leaderlike qualities, and so were chosen for the Alpha Squad, the name given to the chosen few allowed to enter the Realm first. The news came after the first few months the Alphas were in there. There had been a critical error, and the consciousnesses of the Alphas had been lost. At first there was disbelief, both among ourselves and the researchers conducting the tests, that it'd actually happened. However, after a week, it became obvious to both of us the immediate disaster was too real. So, we were promptly put on the Beta Team, me and my three friends. Injection was set at 10 hours after then.
	We were sent to our dorms and told to sleep well, as we'd need it. It wasn't clear what had gone wrong, where the Alphas were lost, or why all of us were chosen. My name is Tomàs Jameson, and I am a Jumper. I swear on my father's grave (Arceus bless his soul) everything I'm about to tell you is all true. I took an oath of secrecy. What the scientists don't know won't hurt them…maybe, though there is still lingering compulsion to obey it.
	The day dawned bright and clear, the sun streaming in through the windows. Making sure we'd locked all our stuff away in our cabinets, we made our way down to the laboratory in preparation for the Experiment. Normally, we would have eaten breakfast, but we had been told from day one that we were to fast for 12 hours to clear our systems. The 2-3 months we'd be in there, we'd be fed via IV drip, and our vitals would be monitored with electrodes. We would have need to come in early, and we were too terrified of what they'd do to us if we disobeyed. Strangely, unlike my upbringing, I felt compelled to obey, despite my conscious mind making every effort to fight whatever it was that was going on. Perhaps it was since there was a reason to. The scientists made it clear what we were to do. Physical strength as well as mental was emphasized in our training, even though it wouldn't matter one way or the other, the control mechanisms worked through brainwaves, though the Pokemon on the other ends really did exist, they were their Semi-Real Avatar-Personas, or S-R_A-Ps for short. Team Alpha wasn't really gone in the same sense a dead relative is, e.g, they couldn't be brought back. They were gone in mind, and the scientists responsible for running periodical checks on their consciousnesses had told us upon request that they could be brought out, it's just that it would probably make them either retarded or insane, due to the incredible stress the mind is put through due to the way the machines worked. The lead scientist himself had actually been "in there" before there was a way to be brought out; he had been the first one in. He actually remembered bits of what he'd done, though he didn't remember how he got out.
	It sounded like the stuff of legends, though it all really happened, he assured us. We were never told the means by which we were able to enter the AU, we were only told to obey orders at all costs.

Whose orders we were to obey was debatable.

	It was him right now, explaining basics to us when we were lying in our stasis pods waiting for a connection to be established to our S-R_A-Ps, and our consciousnesses to be uploaded into them. T-minus 10 minutes, and we were in the lab, waiting for the connection to establish. Men and women in lab coats were running around, flipping switches and turning knobs.

He said to us, "While you're in there, things will feel real to you."

Pressing the button on the inside of the pod to talk to him, I managed to say, "Are they?"

"Good luck," he said. "to all of you Alpha kids."

Goodness, he couldn't even get my age right? I was 17.

	Before I knew it, it was T-minus 10 seconds, and then 5. The last thing I saw of the human world was the lead scientist yanking an oversized lever. Everything went white. I was floating for a moment there in that white emptiness. The area around me flared with a corona of bluish energy, a feeling of falling made itself in the pit of my stomach, and wind whooshed in my ears as I wheeled in the air, helpless. I was, at that point, too scared to scream, not that it would have made a difference, or even that I wanted to. It got really bright, and the falling feeling stopped.
	Then everything was black, and I felt a soft thump. I was in. Opening up my eyes, I was surrounded by wildflowers, and the sun was almost too bright. The tall, green grass was waving in the breeze, and the air smelled of nature, grass and earth. It smelled ALIVE, unlike any other smell I'd smelled before.
	There came a rustling sound, toward which I turned my head. The forms of several Pokemon were there, though they were more of a ambiguous mass. The ambiguity was a trick of the light.

"Oh!" I remarked. "Everyone's here, cool!"

	When I spoke, it sounded like English, but I was also aware my mouth was making sounds that were exactly the opposite. I was aware I was in the AU, that much was obvious, but not where. Off in the distance, partially obscured by fog, I could make out a tall, majestic butte, covered in what looked like moss.
	I slowly walked towards the mass, and as I did, it became clear what was there. It was indeed my friends. In the group, I could make out a Totodile, a Tepig, and something that resembled some sort of water-chestnut rodent. It was apparent from its coloration and form that it was a Grass-type, though I'd never seen one like it before.

I walked up to get a closer look at the rodent. Picking up one of its feet, I audibly remarked about them.

"Holy shit, he has big feet."

The rodent began to twitch and squirm. Before I could react, it leaped to its feet and
yelled out at me, causing me to fall backwards.

"Hey! How dare you touch my feet! Why, I oughta-mmm! Who do you think you-" it cried out in anger.

It recognized who I was, and its mood changed in an instant.

"Oh, sorry, Tomas, I dunno what overcame me there. I was mad, I guess."

Hearing the voice, it was then clear then who it was.

"Ah darn it, ya got me, Hanako," I said. "Good thing too."

The Totodile began to wake up, rubbing its forehead as it sat upright.

"Uuuggghhhh, what happened last night? Where am I? Did I get laid?"

"No, no John, you don't even drink...seriously, how do you come up with these things?" I
sighed.

"My Arceus, John, why is it every time you wake up in an unfamiliar place, you assume sex happened?" groaned Hanako.

"I dunno, I just am, guys," he said, through half-lidded, sleepy eyes.

That quote prompted an immediate mental response.

I suppose, that even in another world, there is no way to escape being a stoner, I thought.

"I-i'm not a stoner..." John sniffed. "I-i only did it once! O-ONCE!"

"Wait, how come he can hear your thoughts?"

"As for the stoner thing, John, we all know about it, we have for a while," I said. "It's not exactly a secret."

Looking down at what would be my hands if I was human, I saw thin, bluish, chubby
little paws, reminescent of something I'd seen often. I was a Mew? How, though? I-i was n-NOT w-WORTHY!! How c-could I b-be?

"Awwwwwww, how come Tomas gets god-mode? I wanted it!!" whined Hanako. "He is doing better than us already!"

The Tepig snorted and snuffled, and was on its feet in a flash.

"Where are we?"

"Dang-it, am I the only sane one around here? We're in the AU, okay?" I snapped loudly.

The others seemed timid by comparison after what I'd just done.

John, through glazed eyes and a sleepy expression, said "Oh hey there, Thomas. Nice to see you're..." He paused to let out a hearty cough and guttural wheeze. "...uhhh...awake~!"

Gesturing to John, Hanako said, "Case in point, he'd only cough like that if he was a stoner."

"Now can we just get going already?" Thomas said.

"How about we fly there...on-on our imagination~?" groaned John, with a dreamy look on his face.

"Stop it and don't go all '420 smoke oddish erryday' on us, John," Hanako stated firmly. "If you do not stop arguing, we will not get anywhere."

"Stop it! It hasn't even been 5 minutes, and you're already trying to kill each other...this doesn't look good, not at all. How are we supposed to save the world if we can't even get along?" I stated.

"He's right, you know," Hanako said. "He is obviously our leader here; he shows wisdom beyond his years."

"Would you just shut up, so we can get there faster?"

	Well, we did just that. Walking for what felt like hours, but were more likely minutes, we reached the butte-more specifically, its top. By the time we did, it was already dark, a bonfire lighting the immediate area. We looked around, wondering what to do, when there sudddenly flew by us a Chatot, landing on a fence post next to us. In a voice that sounded like an old secretary, it said,

"Hello there, young travelers. You look tired; do you want to stay for the night? You must be looking for the Guild signup, though we are closed now."

Hanako yawned. "I'm kinda tired. Could we?"

"I don't see why not. John?"

He coughed and said, "Oh, okay. Whatever."

"Okay, then, let's get-" It's gaze fell on Hanako. "Oh, oh my, th-this changes e-everything," it said. "The appearance of a Pokemon unlike any ever seen before, oh my, the evil over our land might ever release its grasp."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"N-nothing that you should worry about, a-at least right now," it stammered. "Oh, n-no, I-I've said too much. I-I have to go tell Guildmaster Wigglytuff posthaste! The entrance is r-right there!"

It flew off  into the darkness as soon as it had finished speaking.

	We stumbled into the entrance, and around in the dark, eventually finding unoccupied straw on which to rest our tired heads.

	The next morning was relatively sunny, and it was bright too, the rays streaming through the window. It showed nothing of the world other than that. With much luck, (emphasis on much) we would eventually rescue the Alphas and get out of the AU before our real selves started to atrophy.
The next morning was relatively sunny, and it was bright too, the rays streaming through the window. It showed nothing of the world other than that. With much luck, (emphasis on much) we would eventually rescue the Alphas and get out of the AU before our real selves started to atrophy.
	I woke up, rubbing the sleep off of my face, and climbed to my feet..err..paws, and was surprised to find that everyone was still asleep.

I grunted under my breath and kicked John. He loudly snuffled, and mumbled, "No, no, I don't want hot sauce on my hamburger, it's spicy enough~"

"F---- freeloader," I mumbled. "Get yo' ass up!"

"No...mmmrphh, I don't want the D, Sempai~" he mumbled, in a sleepy voice.

I kicked him hard in the groin. Big mistake.

	He woke up in an instant, screaming, and unleashed a powerful Water Gun, throwing me across the room and pinning me to the wall. Spinning my arms to keep balance, which was not much use, I might add, I recoiled and stumbled into Hanako, stepping on her foot. She screamed, waking up fast, and made a noise that was probably an angry warble, but sounded somewhere between a cough and a whistle. She was clearly mad, as she picked up speed and began to chase me in circles around the room. Tripping over Thomas, who woke up, confused, she cursed me out. For the sake of keeping this story PG for now, though there will be later elements that are hardly so, I will not state what she said.

	Landing flat on her face, she struggled to get up, and kicked Thomas in the face. He snorted in pain, and used Flamethrower on John, who blasted me, and thus the cycle continued for about five minutes, or however long it was until an Exploud came to the opening to our area.

"HEY YOU GUYS, WAKE UP, GUILDMASTER DOESN'T LIKE SLACKERS!" he yelled. Realizing the obvious, he said "-oh, you're up." "WELL THEN, STOP TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER AND GET DOWNSTAIRS!"  he yelled again before storming off.

"Arceus-damnit, look what you did, we're gonna be late," John growled.

"Just hurry up and get downstairs," said Hanako.

Though I was the tactical leader, it was clear Hanako had more verbal authority.

We made our way down the stairs, and down the hall to a big set of double doors. Kicking it open, I held it open long enough for the rest of us to file in and take up empty positions in the hall's enormous vaulted ceilings, filled with all Pokemon, of all species and typings.

Suddenly, there came a fanfare of trumpets, and two Kecleon in what appeared to me were red capes rolled out a carpet in front of another set of double doors, which suddenly banged open.

The Chatot from last night! I thought.

"Make way, make way!" it said. "Guildmaster Wigglytuff is here! Prostrate yourself before His Honorable Fluffiness, leader of our faith."

The doors banged open again, and a Wigglytuff waddled in, flanked by two more Kecleon, also with red capes, who played the same fanfare again, but in a slightly higher pitch.

The Chatot yelled, "I SAID PROSTRATE!!"

Everyone in the room, us most of all, trembling in fear (or was it respect), bowed, our heads to the ground.

"Okay, you can look up now," said the Chatot, in a now honey-sweet voice, who then flew back out the door.

"Welcome, welcome, my brethren," said the Wigglytuff, in a sonorous bass voice. "Welcome to the Initiation."

A murmur started up in the hall, both heard and unheard.

"What?"

There was no notice...AAAAHHHH!

"Relax, relax," it said. "It has recently been made known to me that these four young Pokemon, who happen to be in the front row, have ventured into our world. Rise, John, Tomàs, Hanako, and Thomas. Welcome."

Nervous and shivering with fear, we managed to walk up onto stage and  stood there, shivering.

"Go on, speak," said Guildmaster Wigglytuff. "I don't bite."

Visibly shaken, Hanako stammered, "H-hello, guys. I-i'm Hanako..." Her lower lip wobbled, she blushed, and for the longest time, I thought she'd burst into nervous tears.

"I'm JOHN! YES!" John yelled, in a voice dripping with emotion.

Goddamn Captain Falcon imitator. F--- poser, I thought.

Thomas whispered, "Hey th-there, I'm Thomas...hello, ev-everyone."

Then, I stated firmly, "Hello there. I am Tomàs, and I, along with everyone standing next to me, will aim for victory."

"Thanks, Tomàs, you and your team both. You will recieve your first mission tomorrow. As for you, my friends and brothers, you have your own jobs and missions to complete."

He whispered to us, once everyone had filed out, "...and I will see you in town," and waddled out.

John had collapsed on the floor, what from, I didn't know, but we eventually dragged him out and got him to wake up in time to go out to town.

"Town" wasn't much, at least not for now.

"Hel-lo, my friends~!" said the now bubbly Guildmaster. "Nice to see you here. Before you receive your first mission, you will have to make yourself familiar with the many buildings in this town. It is known as Gear. After you do that, you can found your base and get your badges."

"Here," he said, walking us over to a flowy, colorful tent, staffed by two Kecleon, "is the Kecleon store. They sell basic supplies and other useful items, such as Berries for restoring health and curing poison."

He then walked us a bit further, to a domed building styled like a Persian head, staffed by none other than a Persian.

"This here is the Bank. You will be able to store your money, when you do get it, in here, in full or in part."

Walking over a bridge, and a bit further, he came to another building.

"This is the message board room. You are going to be going here in order to recieve your first mission from the clerk."

"Now this," he said, wheeling around in his spot to the opposite, "is your base area. This is where it will be constructed when you come up with a team name. Do you have one yet?"

"Yeah," John said. "We're Team Beta."

"Team Beta...hmmm, that's an unusual name, one I've never heard before, but a team name nonetheless. I will have your badges and your bandannas made and to you by tomorrow when you check for your mission."

Guildmaster thumped his large feet on the ground, and a rumbling came from behind us.

"Your base is ready. Thanks." He turned and skipped back to town.

We were surprised to find that a small, white, nondescript dome, with an equally so mailbox out front, had just risen from the ground.

"We have a base now," I said.

"Not bad for our first day," said Hanako.

"Sleep..now~", John said.

"But it's not even--huh," I said, looking skyward, as I realized the day had ended and cold had begun to set in.

"Yeah, we are a team now~!" Thomas squealed (pun intended).

"Hush up, and let's go to bed." I said, as we stumbled into our base.

Hanako pulled the curtains and the door shut, and I and everyone else lay to sleep as the torches lighting our base snuffed themselves out.

We were asleep before we knew it, and our waking up was the same.

	The next day was a bit cloudy and gloomy at first, but it dawned nonetheless. We were ready to receive our mission, and our base's torches were lit again somehow.

I snuffled and got to my feet, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

There was a pop, and with a red flash, a Porygon appeared.

<A MESSAGE FROM THE LAB. DO YOU ACCEPT?>

"Yes," I confidently stated.

By now, everyone else had already gotten to their feet, except for Hanako, who snuffled and warbled in sleep.

<OKAY. PLAYING MESSAGE. BEEEEEEEP.>

I heard the voice of the lead scientist.

"Hello there, Betas. This is a prerecorded reminder to let you know that if you are defeated inside a dungeon, its levels will be reset completely and you will respawn, minus a few items, at the entrance."

"What? Why couldn't you come in here and help us?" I said.

<BZZZTT.>

"We already made Tomas near god-like. Isn't that enough. Look, *sigh*, if it's any consolation, we will come in there with you and help you."

<BEEEP. END OF MESSAGE!>

Then, with a blue flash, the Porygon faded away.

"Well," Hanako sighed. "There really isn't any use staying here longer. We'd better get going before all the good missions are taken."

Not wanting to argue with her, we made our way out of our base, and into the area across the street where missions would be handed out. Pokemon of all shapes and sizes were moving through it, and taking missions from its many clerks. Jostled about amongst the throngs, we pushed through without too much issue and gained purchase on the counter of the Beginner Team table.

A dazed-looking Politoed looked up for a few moments and asked, "Team name?"

"Team Beta."

"Ah, yes, Team Beta. It seems there is more than one mission left unclaimed at your skill level."

Rummaging through a pile on the floor, he pushed three pieces of paper in front of us. "Choose your mission from amongst these three."

He turned around to continue working.

We spoke amongst ourselves for a few minutes before deciding on which one it was.

"Okay, you can be on our way."

"Wait. We heard there was a bulletin board. What happened to that?"

"Oh that thing? It was highly inefficient. At least, that's what Guildmaster said when he sold it to pay off his gambling debt."

"Oh."

"Well, then," he said. "Off you go!"

We made our way to the door, and walked out into the sunlight.

That signpost wasn't there yesterday...

"I can't see. What does it say?"

"From what I can tell, the dungeon we're looking for is right...that-a-way."

We were outside of town faster than we should have been, and before we knew it, we were into the first level of the Forest Maze dungeon.

~FOREST MAZE-F1~

 We wandered for quite some time before we saw anything, much less other Pokémon. We were about to give up when we saw some movement. The bushes rustled, and out popped a Lairon. Hanako’s immediate reaction was cooing at how cute it was, before it tackled her against the wall. John snuffled and hit it with Water Gun. It hit the ground and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Its death had left something behind. Looking on the ground, we saw a pile of what looked like seeds. Before we had time to figure out what they were, my badge clicked and the seeds were gone. An electronic voice said, “Blast Seeds (21) added to Inventory.”

“Blast seeds?”

“Whatev’s. Let’s just continue. This mission isn’t finishing itself.”

Before we knew it, we were ambushed by a group of Treecko.

“N-yeah! HEHEHEHEHE...all your inventory are belong to us!”

Rage overwhelmed me. “I HATE VIDEOGAME REFERENCES!” As my rage grew, I was suddenly surrounded by a corona of reddish fire.

I stomped on the ground, and pillars of rock rose from the floor and crushed the Treecko gang into bits.

“Whew!” John said. “I was worried there.”

“What attack was that?” Thomas said. “I’ve never seen-such POWER!” His eyes glittered.

“That looked like Rock Tomb,” said Hanako. “B-But he shouldn’t be able to know that one.”

I pushed him to the side. “Come on bro, get on my level. This isn’t an animé. There’s no time for that.”
My badge buzzed and  the voice spoke again, “Gummies (27), Coral Prongs (3), and Sleep Seeds (5) added to Inventory.”

“We should be able to get to the exit from here. This is only the first floor,” I said. “it wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be.”

~2 hours LATER....

“Oh my ARCEUS, how WRONG was I!” I yelled; my team and I running for our lives to get to the next floor.

“But how was I supposed to know they respawn if you leave a room and come back?” hollered John.

“We all forgive you, John,” Hanako stated. “Nobody could have predicted this would happen.”

“ But then where is the-” I was suddenly cut off as we flew through the wall.

~FOREST MAZE-F2~

“Well,” I said. “That solves that, now, there is supposedly no other Pokémon here except for the boss.”

We wandered about the level for awhile. We didn’t find the boss the first time. We did, though, find a chest.

“Oh, cool,” John said. “Treasure!”

“Ooh, ooh, I call dibs!” said Thomas.

“The treasures are for everyone, m’kay?” I said. “No Watchogging the treasure.”

*insert LoZ OoT chest opening theme here*

MONEY GET!

*205 Poké added.* “These coins are the money of this world,” an voice said. “You can use it to buy power-ups in stores, as well as store it in the Bank.”

HEALTH + GET!

*Full Seeds (15)  added.* “You can’t expect to adventure on an empty stomach,” said the voice. “Eat these whenever you are hungry.”

WEAPONRY GET!

*Sharp Twigs (23) added.* “Use these in the case of a dire emergency to instantly kill most enemies,” the voice said.

Thomas said, “Now, just to find the-”

A loud boom from behind startled us.

Hanako said, “Well, nice knowing you. If this is the boss, then we’re screwed.”

We turned around, and were surprised at what was there.

--Forest Maze Dungeon Boss: Shadow Ditto--

“You f------ kidding me? /He’s/ the first level boss?” I yelled.

“What the eff is THAT?” yelped Hanako. “P-protect me, Tomas!”

“John, DO SOMETHING!” yelled Thomas.

Then the Ditto suddenly burst into shadowy, flame-like energy, and grew to tower over us. How on Pokéarth were we supposed to defeat HIM?

Then it spoke, the voice of a thousand tortured souls, ringing in my ears and resonating my soul. "Aah, Betas, how...nice of you to finally join us...we've been lonely here killing everyone."

I gulped.

--バットル　始めて！/ Battle Begin!--

We began striking, trying to find its weak spot. It didn’t seem to move in any sort of pattern, or react the same way to any attack we dealt. All of our attacks seemed to glance off, and it knocked me back, nullifying any charge or rest period for really powerful attacks. I brought down Draco Meteor and it seemed burnt, but recovered near-instantly. I tried striking between its recovery points, but it seemed to recover health and still didn’t do anything, changing any attack pattern it may have had to strike ups backwards

It was an hour later, when, after significant effort, we managed to reduce the boss to a puddle of limp jelly. We ourselves were covered in cuts and bruises, and panting from effort. It still sent out shadow lightning, but we were too tired to fight back. Imagine that, we, fainting on our first dungeon.

“Betas...I thought you’d put up more of a fight. Not very good for chosen heroes. I barely had any trouble with you.”

“But we defeated you,” I pointed out.

“Not yet,” it said. “Prepare for the final strike! Shadow...” it said, charging its final attack, “BA--”

It was suddenly interrupted by a flash of movement that lit it ablaze. As it drained away, still on fire, it said, “You...cannot..grasp the true power of my attack...beware...that which swims isn’t a water-type.”

--Battle Win!--

“Who was that?” I said.

“Consider yourselves lucky,” a thin, reedy female voice spoke. “You could have been killed there.”

I turned my head to the voice, which belonged to a Flareon, and she looked MAD.

“You shouldn’t do that,” she chided. “It’s dangerous!”

“How about you join our team?” I said.

“Why?” she asked. “You’re incompetent, and letting you die would be a favor to everyone.”

“Who does this b---h think she is? She can’t speak for everyone, much less herself,” Hanako chided. “Let’s bounce. This blows.”

“But we NEED you, man,” John said. “You’d be the strongest one we have yet!”

Ugh,” she scoffed, clearly disgusted with our offer. “Fine.”

--Flareon (F) joined!--

“I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?” she wondered out loud.

“You won’t,” I said, using what I thought were the big Lillipup eyes everyone seemed to fall for.

--Dungeon End!--

Poké (21) Obtained!

Then, before we knew it, we were back in the town.
Cheering overwhelmed us as we made our way back to our base, and then it was suddenly night. We all went to sleep.

I awoke before anyone else, to a evil-sounding voice snickering... “If I can’t have him, nobody will!” and the salty smell of a river. I could hear the squish-smack of a water-type’s feet padding around, fast and frantic.

“Who the f--k are you?” I said, sitting bolt upright in my hay pile.

It moved closer, though I still couldn’t see it. The voice spoke, and it was at the same time, comforting and terrifying, and obviously a girl.

“Me? Why, I’m both your worst nightmare, and the only one you’ll ever love,” it said, saliva dripping into my face.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here, though.”

“It doesn’t matter,” it said. “because if you try to date someone else, I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

I could clearly see the glint, in the moonlight, of what looked like a butcher’s knife.

/Why would you need a knife if you could use Metal Claw?/ I thought. /Seriously./

There was more padding, and the smell of water dissipated.

I fell asleep, puzzled as to who it was that did that.

--End of Day 2--
--Beginning of Day 3--
<Wake up, Betas.> the voice said.

We all awoke from tortured slumber to stare at the Porygon that meant the Lab was contacting us.

<A Message from the Lab. Do you accept?>

With bleary eyes, I said, “Yes.”

The air in front of the Porygon rippled and shimmered, and suddenly, there was a screen there, looking into the lab.

“Hey there, Betas,” the head scientist greeted. “I thought I already had a preprogrammed sequence for this, but I guess not.”

“For what?” John asked.

“Hanako.”

She stepped forward, and the rest of us stepped back.

“You were not intended to be what you are now,” the head scientist said. “The genetics lab fudged your data when they were growing your avatar.”

“THEY WHAT!?”

“Calm down, calm down,” he said. “You were intended to be a Snivy.”

“What do you mean, I wasn't supposed to be this-this THING!” Hanako said, her voice dripping with contempt. “I could have been a cute little grass snake!”

“I’m honestly sorry, Hanako, but I had no involvement in this,” the lead scientist stated plainly. “The gene lab guys, who I will be firing, had to do with this.”

“Then what in the Reverse World am I?”

“Hold on, hold on,” he told. After typing some commands into the console we could see him sitting at, a few lines of text popped up.

“That should do it,” he explained.

The text read:
>Species name: ハリマロン／ Chespin.
>Info:
Research on this creature is still currently being conducted, as it was only discovered recently, but based on its genetic structure, we believe it will evolve into these stages.
>> Processing...
And then it printed a picture. Below it were the words: “This is an artists rendering of how Chespin is theorized to evolve.”

The second evolution looked a little like what Hanako looked like now, but taller, and with bigger paws. Its head covering had become hoodlike, and its tail was longer.
The final evolution resembled Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed. It had more of a stubby snout than Hanako had now, with a button nose, small fangs, and more normal facial proportions. Its hood had grown, and leaves had grown from its back, which gave it the appearance of wearing robes. It had hidden leaf blades protruding from its “sleeves”, and its tail had now become even longer.

“That’s ME? Cool, I get to be an assassin leaf rodent!” yelled Hanako gleefully, clapping her fore-paws together.

“We are still conducting research. The professor of the region from which this little creature originated refuses to return my emails,” stated the lead scientist. “so it seems you will be our experiment in its place.”

“No fair, she gets to be cool, and I evolve into a ugly LIZARD!” John said, crying. “Don’t look at me, I’m hideous!”

Thomas scoffed. “Suit yourself. I end up as a bad ass fire pig.”

I had nothing to say there.

The scientist continued, “According to our data thus far, Hanako is two levels away from evolving, John is three, and Thomas is 3/4.”

With that, the Porygon fizzled out of existence, leaving us in our base, alone.

Hanako blew a raspberry at us and snickered. “You’re just jealous because I’m the only one that looks cool on their final evolution.”

“If you had just be quiet and let me speak, I would have said that--” I was suddenly interrupted by a voice from afar.

My ears twitched as I heard a high-pitched voice saying, “Should I tell him I love him? Should I? I’m t-too terrified of rejection. How would I c-cope?”

“That’s another Flareon,” said the female Flareon that just joined us after saving our asses in the first dungeon. “and she seems worried.”

“How can you even /tell/?” I asked.

“She smells that way.”

John’s face suddenly looked like the dafuq emoticon, and I raised an eyebrow quizzically.

She slapped him. “Not like that, you fool. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Ouch!” John winced, rubbing his cheek.

“She genuinely smells worried, as in, she releases certain hormones when she panics. Trust me, I’m a Flareon, I would know.”

--Current End--