A Second Life chapter 9

>You stood in front of the statue like you did every day, looking up at Discord frozen in place.
>Four months since you promised him, no swore to him you would release him.
>But he was stuck inside Tartarus for a reason, and you dared not breathe word of it to anyp0ny.
>Not even Luna.
>Promising a demon to release him back into Equestria, if that didn’t put you back on bad terms with Celestia, you didn’t know what would.
>Speaking of Celestia…
>”Anonymous, Celestia would like to see you, in her chambers.”
>Great, more meaningless busy work, usually running errands around the castle, making small repairs.
>You often debated on going into Canterlot and finding a job as a bartender or a bouncer for a club, especially the later since your leg had started bothering you less and less.
>Still, a free place to live, free food, weekends usually off, and pretty good pay for what you could tell.
>It was hard to beat all of that when you were doing next to nothing for it, but you still liked to feel busy.
>Oh, you were already at her room. Lovely.
>You gave a brief knock, and the door magiced open, revealing Celestia lying on the floor absorbed in one of her books.
>Damn, was everyp0ny a book worm, or was that all to do in this place?
“Need something Celestia?”
>the white alicorn looked back at you with a large grin “Please come over here Anonymous. I have a more… personal need.”
>And there went your jimmies, soaring straight out the window at Mach 12
>”Oh don’t look so tense Anon, I was only going to ask for a massage. Those hands of yours are… handy it seems.”
>Celestia and her puns.
“I don’t really feel comfortable with this Princess.”
>”Oh come now, it’s strictly business. I could go to the trouble of making plans with a masseuse, then getting what would probably be a sub-par massage, or I could have my favorite little human do it.”
>With no viable excuse, you came closer to the princess, debating on how you should take on this awkward task.
>Strictly business… my ass.
>Hey brain, how many fucks do we have in stock?
>Fresh out.
>well shit.
>You threw one leg over her body as if you were getting on a motorcycle, squatting so that you stayed off her back, if only by a few inches
>You gently placed your hands on the base of her neck, beginning the very awkward massage.
>Awkward for you at least, Celestia was enjoying it so far.
>”How goes your attempts to find a mare Anon?”
“I thought this was strictly business.”
>”Knowing about my subjects is my business Anon.”
>This is why you hated politicians, always having an argument to everything, suckering you in to conversations you had no interest in.
“Yes, I have a mare friend. Things are going pretty well too.”
>”Does this mare have a name?”
“Yep, sure does.”
>Celestia glanced back at you with a look of contempt.
>Just then you decided to press one of her pressure points,  the spot where her wings and body met.
>Sure enough her entire body went rigid, her eyes wide.
>”Where did you learn to do that!?”
“That’s a secret princess.”
>You released her pressure point continuing her massage as she slowly recovered from the stunning move you just pulled.
>”Well it would seem you’ve been seeing a Pegasus p0ny. Though you’ve only went into Canterlot a few times…”
>Oh shit, was she performing basic math? Was she about to add 2 plus 2 and get the answer.
>”You aren’t seeing one of my guards are you.”
“What?! No, just no. NO! Ew, no!.”
>Celestia chuckled at your response, tempting you to hit that pressure point to immobilize her yet again.
>It wouldn’t hurt her, as far as you knew it had no other effect other than stunning the p0ny.
>Still, you stayed your hand, for now.
>”Well, I can’t think of any other mares in the castle with wings, save for L-“
>Ok, now you hit that pressure point again, silencing Celestia with a slight whine.
“Sorry, still getting used to p0ny physique.”
>Celestia shifted her hind legs, bringing her back directly into your crotch
>You cringed, muttering in what was still a foreign language to Celestia.
“My tenders…”
>Rolling off to the side, you assumed the fetal position as you cupped your throbbing nuggets.
>”Problem Anonymous?”
“Nope, just one moment.”
>Fucking Molestia just became Trollestia, in the blink of an eye. She knew damn well where your private parts were, you spent at least a month walking around here nude.
>You made your way to your feet once more, looking over at the white alicorn with a grin on her face.
>”I trust there will be no more shenanigans?”
“Seems fair.”
>”Regardless, I think you’ve done enough, perhaps I’ll see you later.”
>You quietly began making your way out, leaving Celestia to her reading.
>”Anonymous?” You only paused, waiting for her to say whatever needed said. “Thank you for the massage. Perhaps Luna would like one too.”
>She winked at you, her suspicions all but confirmed about you and Luna.
>You left her room, not entirely sure about what just happened, but continued on with your buisness nonetheless.
>As you walked back to your room, you couldn’t help but think about Discord, that creepy thing that had haunted your dreams every now and then, reminding you of your deal.
>It wasn’t always a bad dream, but it always rustled your jimmies pretty good every time.
>Maybe you should talk to somep0ny about this.
>Spitfire was a good friend, the two of you often hit up the clubs on the weekends with Soarin, but neither of them even knew you went to Tartarus.
>Celestia was definitely out of the question, you didn’t really consider her a friend quite yet.
>That left Luna, and you weren’t quite sure how well she would take you making deals with Discord either.
>Still, she took you in when all the other p0nies had already labeled you a demon, surely you could trust her not to over react.
>You checked her room, conveniently located on the other side of the castle, finding it empty.
“Guard, did Princess Luna say where she was going?”
>”She said she was going out for a walk, sir”
>You disliked being called sir, but you shrugged it off. Too bad you couldn’t enlist in the guard, maybe they had the rank of Sergeant, or an equivalent.
>Brain: Or you could take this life easy, enjoying the fact that your friends with royalty.
>You win this time Brain.
>The garden seemed like a logical place to start, seeing as it was one of the more tranquil spots of the castle, so you headed there first.
>You stepped into the crisp equestrian air, breathing it in through your lose like it was the best thing since cocaine.
>You never got over how clean the air was here. Much better than the smoggy cities of Earth.
>Right, you had to find Luna. Focus brain.
>You made your way through the flowery maze, looking around and taking in the sights of the furry critters scurrying around you and through the trees.
>Yet, no Luna.
>Brain, what are some other possible locations?
>Processing: Please wait…
>Possible target locations: Throne room, Library.
>Thanks brain, I knew I kept you around for a reason.
>You checked out the library first, you would pass it on the way to the throne room anyways.
>Fortunately the librarian was on duty, sitting at her desk waiting patiently if she was needed.
>”Anything I can help you with dearie?” she asked, her voice sounding as brittle as she looked
“I was wondering if you’ve seen Princess Luna lately.”
>”Well yes, she left here with a book about half an hour ago.”
“Thank you ma’am.”
>Back into the hallway you went, heading toward the throne room where at least one princess was usually stationed.
>But again, neither one was there.
“Buck this… I guess I’ll find her later”
>You made your way to your room, finding a guard posted at your door.
“Guard, what are you doing here? Celestia stopped posting guards at my door months ago.”
>”Oh, I uh…”
“Just leave.”
>The guard seemed conflicted for a moment, before bowing his head and moving down the hall on patrol.
>You stepped into your room, mumbling to yourself.
>Seems you still had your Sergeant demeanor after all, though your size probably helped that along.
>You spun to the sound of beating wings, only to have a face full of dark blue fur as Luna swooped down on to you, shoving you on the bed, pinning you with two hooves placed squarely on your shoulders
>”GOTCHA!” Luna was beaming with a grin from ear to ear, her eyes seeming to sparkle with achievement.
“I see flying therapy is helping you along quite nicely.”
>You noticed her horn was about the size of fillies by now, and had a point to it once more.
>She leaned down and kissed you, then floated over to your side on the bed, though a bit ungraceful.
>Didn’t matter, a week ago she was walking, and now she was starting to fly already.
>You pulled her over in a hug, her warm body feeling amazing against the skin on your arms.
“I’m proud of you Luna, you’re doing great.”
>”Thanks, Anon.”
>A few moments passed in silence, just you and your Luna when you remembered why you wanted to talk to her in the first place.
“So I have bad news, and good news. Which do you want to hear first?”
>Luna pulled away, looking at you quixotically. “Um… bad news…”
“I was hoping you’d say good news, but here it goes. Do you remember the things I had in Tartarus? The odd clothes, the weapons… these boots.”
>You were so thankful the medics hadn’t torn apart the boots to take them off. Despite the somewhat melted soles, they were much comfier than anything the p0nies could make.
>”Yes, go on.” Luna started to look worried, the horrors of Tartarus still fresh in her mind.
“I may have made a deal with a certain demon to acquire those things… One I think you may know.”
>Luna offered no response, awaiting the name of said Demon.
“Discord. He said if I destroyed his statue and released him into Equestria, he would give me the gear to save you.”
>Luna’s jaw was almost to the floor in horror. “Anonymous, why are you telling me this? If word got to my sister, she would not even waste time with a trial!”
>Luna kept a hushed voice, though you could hear the fear in her voice. “Are you sure it was Discord?”
“Discord’s the name, Chaos is my game. Judging by the statue in the courtyard…”
>Luna cut you off, leaping to her feet and pacing around the room. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because lately, I’ve been having nightmares. Well, dreams really. Discord is always there, reminding me of our deal.”
>Luna continued to pace around your room, lost in thought.
“Luna, what are you thinking?”
>She continued to pace a few more moments, before letting out a sigh. “Are you sure you aren’t just letting nerves get to you?”
“I don’t know, maybe. But it didn’t start until I was out of the hospital. Almost like he knew…”
>Luna frowned, her previous good mood shattered by your news.
“I’m sorry Luna.”
>”No, don’t be. You did what you thought necessary. Still, I think we best keep quiet about this, until we are sure it is actually Discord, and not simply your own imagination causing these dreams.”
“If that’s what you think is best, we’ll do it.”
>Luna nodded, beginning to turn away toward the door.
“Luna, you didn’t hear the good news.”
>She tuned back to look at you, seeming to have forgotten it already.
“I think Celestia knows about us.”
>Luna facehooved ”Anon, that’s a BAD thing.”
“Is it? She seemed happy about it. Maybe happy her little sister finally found someone to make herr happy.”
>She blushed, walking over to nuzzle against your cheek. “You’re reckless Anonymous.”
“Oh you know me, never thinking before I do anything.”
>”I wouldn’t have you any other way. Care to go stargazing tonight, on my balcony?”
“I’d love to. Should I bring some fritters?”
>”Sure Anon, just come meet me after the moon comes out.”
“It’s a date, see you tonight Luna.”
>You exchanged a pair of small kisses, and Luna made her way to the hallway, with a small smile as she went about getting back into her duties for the first time in months.
>Now this was something you could get used to.
>Waking up beside Luna, her warm body pressed up against your own.
>Warm breath gently brushing against the arm you had running under her neck.
>The faint and steady beat of her heart in her chest.
>You wanted more moments like this.
>It wasn’t without a downside though.
>You were stuck in this bed until she woke up, and you had to poop.
>Maybe if you just shifted your body like this...
>Alright, and now just have to tow out your arm…
>Steady as she goes Captain.
>Success!
>Your arm was free from captivity, but the movement had stirred the sleeping mare from her sleep, who gave a soft whine as your bodies separated.
>Leaning down, you brushed her mane away from her face and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. Go back to sleep princess.”
>You ninja’d your way to the bathroom, your eyes adjusting to the darkness as you went.
>By now, you were used to getting up before the sun again; it reminded you of the military life.
>Finally, the royal latrine.
>P0ny bathrooms were still pretty awkward to used, the toilets were often built into the ground since p0nies often sat on their haunches when they relieved themselves.
>In turn, you were forced to sit on the ground to relieve yourself, the tile floors numbing your cheeks in seconds.
>With business concluded, you silently made your way back to bed, where a pair of luminous light blue eyes was staring over at you.
>A faint light shown from her horn, lighting the room in a soft glow and allowing you to safely move through the room and back to the bed.
>Between the cute and tired look on Luna’s face, and her bed-mane sending it every which way, you couldn’t help but audibly d’aww.
>”Morning, did you enjoy last night?”
“Of course I did. We should do it more often.”
>You reached over to the wall, slowly un dimming the lights to check for the time.
>0630, sunrise usually took place in 30 minutes.
“Are you going to try and lower the moon today?”
>Luna nodded, “I want to take back control over the night as soon as I can.”
“In that case, I’ll see you later. I think I’m going to go for a jog.”
>”Be careful.” Luna smiled, floating over from her bed, laying her fore legs over your shoulders as you slipped on your pants.
“Hey, you know me-”
>”That’s why I said be careful.”
>The two of you shared a laugh, and you made your way to your room for the set of PT’s you had made.
>Luna walked along side you until you passed the garden, where she broke off to meet with Celestia.
>With a grey shirt, black shorts, and your combat boots since you lacked a pair of proper running shoes still, you made your way to the castle’s perimeter wall, and began your normal route along the inside.
>You hated running in the cold night air, you were always more of an evening runner, so you decided on a little cadence for a motivational boost.
“One mile - No Sweat”
“Two mile - Better yet”
“Three miles - Gotta run”
“Four miles - Just for fun”
“Come on - Let's go”
“We can go - Through the snow”
“We can run - To the sun”
“We train - In the rain”
“A-I”
“R-B”
“O-R”
“N-E”
“Can you be - Like me?”
“Airborne – Infantry”
“Hoo-ah!”
>You stopped at the sound of clopping behind you.
>Wait.
>No. That was clapping.
>You halted in your tracks and looked behind you.
>In the shadows, you could make out a long, slithering figure, it’s out line you knew all too well.
>”I didn’t take you for a singer Anonymous, very good.” That voice confirmed it.
“Discord. Alright, I’m stumped. I haven’t destroyed your statue, so how are you here?”
>”Must you always we so straight forward and to the point Anonymous? Here, have a drink. You look thirsty.”
>A glass of chocolate milk appeared in your hand out of thin air.
“Sorry, but my mother told me not to take things from strangers.”
>Discord frowned, and began circling you like a predator eyeing its prey.
>”Am I a stranger though? I thought we could be friends. I did help you save your fair maiden, your damsel in distress, did I not? Or have you forgotten about that?”
“I didn’t forget, I just don’t think helping a demon out of Tartarus is a good idea.”
>”Well neither did I, but look at you? Acting all chivalrous with Luna, despite us both knowing your past.”
“A past I’ve atoned for, I did my time in hell.”
>”And so have I! I’m a changed man, Anon! May I call you Anon?”
>The two of you looked over into the sky as the sun began to rise over the mountains.
>”Remember our deal Anonymous. Even if you don’t fulfill it, I’ll still escape, and there won’t be a thing you can do about it.”
“So then what’s the point in me helping you if you’re going to escape anyway?”
>Discord’s body slowly slithered around you in the air, as if he was about to constrict you, pausing only to whisper in your ear.
>”Because we had a deal. And f you don’t keep it, I can’t guarantee something won’t happen to…” Discord drew closer, emphasizing his words. “Everything. You. Love.”
>You glared over at the creature, meeting his yellow and red eyes as he slowly slithered away with the disappearing shadows.
“You wouldn’t hurt them. Not even you would stoop that low.”
>”Your right Anon, but chaos can be a very… chaotic thing. Take care now.”
>The last of the shadows were swept away as the sun rose higher into the sky, taking Discord along with them
>You stood there a moment, contemplating your encounter, before deciding to keep along with your jog.
>At this point, you weren’t sure if you were going crazy, or Discord was really ending you these messages.
>After all, if he hadn’t escaped yet, how could he talk to you?
>Yeah, that made sense.
>You were just seeing things, something must be stressing you out, you just couldn’t put a finger on it.
>But if that was the case… why were you still holding a glass of chocolate milk?
>You quickly tossed it aside and jogged back to the castle.
>You needed a shower, and to go to your thinking place.
>Lucky for you they were the same thing.
>As you jogged up the stairs, humming the tune to “Gonna Fly Now” Luna swept down from the sky, landing at the top of the stairs.
>“I did it!” Her face beamed with pride.
“Did it? Oh the moon? Good job Luna.”
>You paused at the top of the stairs, bending over to catch your breath.
>Aint no air down there, straighten up!
>Fuck you brain, who made you a Dill Sergeant?
>Regardless, you straightened up, slowing your breaths as Luna watched you curiously.
>”I will never understand why you insist on putting your body under this kind of stress.”
“Old habits die hard I guess.”
>Luna shook her head with a smile, “Join me for breakfast?”
“I’d love to, let me get a shower first? I’ll stink up the entire dining hall if I don’t wash this sweat off.”
>Luna nodded, turning to walk along side you, though keeping her head slightly ahead of you
>You must stink pretty bad already, but at least Luna had the courtesy not to point out the obvious.
>You stepped into your room with Luna who waited patiently on the bed as you stripped off the sweaty clothes and brought the fresh ones into the latrine.
>As you stepped into the steaming shower, your mind instantly went back to your encounter of the day.
>Was it real life?
>Or just fantasy?
>Brain this is not a Disney movie.
>But…
>We are not breaking out into song, you know damn well I can’t sing and Luna is in the next room.
>Well you’re no fun at all.
>Fuck you too.
>There was a loud knock at your door, bringing you from your thoughts.
>”I thought guards took quick showers! Hurry up!”
>You couldn’t help but chuckle, you’d been in here probably ten minutes already.
>You hit the turbo boost, washing up quickly and toweling off, getting most of the moisture off your body and dressing quickly.
>Stepping outside, Luna was waiting impatiently for you by the door and the two of you made your way to the dining hall.
>With you in tow, Luna totted down the hall, often looking back and waiting for you to catch back up before trotting ahead again.
>In the dining hall, Luna happily ate her breakfast, a bit quicker than her normal regal self allowed.
>Who were you kidding, Luna never did care for the royal attitude, being more of a light hearted prankster.
>At least, that was the Luna you knew. Not to say she couldn’t be serious when she needed, now just wasn’t one of those times.
>As for you, you ate slower for a change, your mind still on Discord.
>”Something on your mind? You normally don’t take this long.”
“Ask me later.”
>”More dreams?”
“No, something worse. Again, we should discuss this later, in a more private setting.”
>”I see…”
>You really knew how to be a buzz kill to Luna’s good moods.
“Don’t worry about it actually. I’m sure I’m just… letting nerves get to me.”
>Luna didn’t look convinced, but dropped the subject regardless.
>When you returned to your room, Luna stayed with you, closing the door behind her.
>”Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing. Like you said yesterday, just nerves.”
>”I don’t believe you. Seeing Discord in your dreams is bad. You said that this was worse. The only thing I can think of being worse is seeing Discord in the flesh.”
>There was a very long pause as Luna awaited a response, then growing restless.
>”You didn’t see Discord in the flesh did you? Has he escaped?”
“Would his statue disappear if he did?”
>”I… I think so.”
“Then when he does, I think we’ll know.”
>”If, not when, right?”
“No… I think he’s going to come out one way or another, whether I help him or not.”
>”So then he doesn’t need your help. And we can prepare for his return until then.”
“It’s not that simple…”
>More silence, Luna laid her neck over your shoulder in a p0ny hug, in hopes to open you up. “Talk to me Anonymous.”
“I don’t think I should elaborate any more than I have so far. I don’t want you to worry.”
>”I’m already worried Anon. But I’ll leave you alone. I have things to do.”
“Take care Luna.”
>You ran a hand along her neck, stoking her soft fur, then watched as she walked out the door.
“I’ll be damned if some freak monster is going to harm you.”
>Eleven months. Almost an entire year since you arrived in Equestria.
>About one months since you encountered Discord on your jog, though he continued to make appearances in your dreams from time to time.
>You walked outside, looking up at the purple sky.
>Purple?
>Right, some royal wedding involving some princess you had never met.
>In the courtyard and throughout the city, there had to be a thousand guards in their golden armor on patrol right now.
>Oddly enough, it was hearts and hooves day as well; something about Princess Cadenza or whatever her name was being the embodiment of love.
>Luna had something planned, but she wouldn’t give you clues as to what.
>There was a knock at your door, and Luna bust in before you could even give an answer.
>”Are you ready Anonipuss?”
“Dafuq?”
>”How about Anonypoo?”
“No. Just. No.”
>Luna looked a little disheartened at her failed petname for you, but smiled as you ran a hand through her mane.
“Anon is just fine Luna. Or is it Lunypoo?”
>Luna gave you a playful glare, jabbing you gut with her fore hoof.
“Alright alright! No need to get mean Luna. You still never told me where we’re going.”
>”It’s a place outside of the city. Did you pack everything you may need for a day in that saddle bag?”
“Yeah, but what-“
>”Good, now undress.”
“Say wha-?”
>”Undress. Unless you don’t care for your clothes to be ripped off.”
“You should at least kiss me first.”

>Luna leaned over, planting a kiss on your lips for a second, and then pulled away. “There, happy? Now get undressed.”
>You undressed, wondering where Luna was getting this sudden sense of… you didn’t even know what to call it. Lunaughtyness?
>Tossing aside your clothes, you looked over at Luna, who had her nose in a book, her horn glowing softly.
“I’m lost, first you make me take my clothes off, and now you’re reading while I freeze my balls off.”
>”Be patient Anon. This is going to be fun.”
“What in Tartarus is that book anyway? Kama sutra for p0nies?”
>Luna looked up at you, not entirely sure what you meant by that, and cast the book aside, her horn glowing brightly.
>Sexytime now?
>Which ever part of me said that, I don’t know, go to yellow alert.
>Luna’s horn grew brighter by the second, eventually making it impossible to look at directly.
>A small bolt of magic leapt from her horn, striking you in the chest.
>Your entire body tingled like you just stuck a butter knife in an electric socket, your muscles spasmed every which way.
>White light overtook your vision, and you felt your body collapse to the ground below you.
>”Anon… Anonnnn. Ah good your up. I hope that didn’t hurt too much.”
“My aching head… what the hell.”
>In front of you, was a hoof?
>Two hooves.
>You stood up, stumbling over to the latrine to get a good look in the mirror.
>Suddenly, you cannot into walking.
>You fell, pace planting into the ground.
>You heard Luna chuckle from behind you, levitating the mirror off the wall and into the bed room for you.
>”Was this what you were going for?”
>You looked in the mirror, almost losing your shit right then and there.
>Horn, four legs, wings, body of a p0ny.
“I’M A BUCKING ALICORN!”
>Your hair color was now your mane color, your coat somewhat resembled your skin color, and your eyes had remained unchanged.
>”And a handsome one at that.” Luna came up beside you, nuzzling against your neck. “It’s only temporary, but I wanted to take you someplace special, and I don’t think I can lift you just yet.”
“So, you aren’t just tired of being around a hairless monkey are you?”
>”No, I would have turned into a human myself, except I have no idea what a female human looks like.”
”Hmm…”
>You focused on a nearby vase, in attempts to move it with magic.
>Your new found horn fizzled with magic, but other than that, nothing.
>”Magic takes years to develop Anon. Let’s just hope you can figure out flying before the spell wears off.”
“And how long is that?”
>”One day.”
>You looked down at Luna, who looked back up at you.
>If you had to guess, you were about as tall as Celestia right now.
“Well then, I guess you better give me a crash course in flying.”
>”Let’s hope you don’t do too much crashing, come on, the garden shouldn’t have too many p0nies in it with all the preparations for the wedding underway.”
>The two of you made your way, quite slowly considering you cannot into walking on four legs or two legs right now.
>Confound these hooves, they drive me to-OHSHIT!
>Another faceplant, followed by more of Luna’s laughter.
>She walked a bit ahead of you, flicking her tail playfully.
>You got back to your feet, er… hooves, and unsteadily walked on, attempting to catch up with the princess.
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”
>”Maybe a little. You’re like a giant colt trying to learn how to walk.” She giggled, stopping at the door, looking over at you.
>”A chivalrous stallion would open the door for his mare.”
>You looked at the door and back down at your hooves, contemplating just how in Equestria this was supposed to work.
>Maybe you could just, push down on the handle. Now how to pull it open…
>Damnit it slipped.
>Try magic again? [Y/N]
>[Y]
>Magic.exe has failed to start.
>Well fuck me.
>Luna giggled some more, opening the door with her magic and stepping through after you.
“I would have got it eventually.”
>”I’m sure Anonymous. But we only have a day, and at the rate you were going, we wouldn’t get through the door until I brought out the moon.”
“Yeah yeah. Alright, what’s lesson one?”
>”Taking off.”
“I should of guessed. Right… Here goes nothing.”
>You struggled at first, the foreign body was difficult to figure out.
>You tensed every muscle up in efforts to find the right nerve leading to your wings, finding them after few minutes.
>You pushed off the ground with your four legs and beat your wings furiously, launching a lot higher than you intended to go.
“WHOASHITTOOHIGHTOOHIGH!”
>You were a good 50 feet in the air when you finally slowed your beating wings, causing you to plummet another 30 feet until you managed to flap you wings faster, bringing you back up high into the air.
>Down below, Luna was rolling. Literally. Rolling on the ground from laughing so hard.
“And I thought Battlefield 3 helicopters were hard to fly.”
>You continued your ascending and descending shenanigans until you finally found the right frequency to somewhat hover.
>”Good job Anon, that’s lesson two.”
>Luna had managed to pick herself up off the ground and fluttered up to meet you in the air.
“Lovely, what’s lesson three?”
>she only smiled, launching herself forward.
>Great, lesson three must be chasing her. The only question was how to approach this.
>Well, you could hover. Helicopters hovered. So if you tilted forward like a helicopter, theoretically…
>You did your best to do just that, lowering your head and bringing your hind legs up into your body.
>Your reward consisted of moving forward about three feet before coming to rest.
>Luna swept around, stopping beside you. “Having problems?”
“You could say I’m stuck flapping my wings…”
>”Afraid of a little fall? Just stop flapping up and down, and go from front to back. Like this!”
>Luna shot off again, leaving you alone in the air.
“Alright Anon, you used to jump out of fucking airplanes. You got this.”
>With one big flap, you shoved yourself up to compensate for any fall, and then angled your wings to flap from front to back as Luna said, shooting forward.
“ALRIGHT!”
>In your excitement, you forgot to keep flapping, sending you into a nosedive.
“SHIT!”
>Flapping your wings, you managed to pull up by the grace of nipples, skimming only a few feet from the ground and shooting back up into the air.
>The speed, the wind in your face. You hadn’t felt this sensation in a long time. Not sense you went on motorcycle rides back home.
>Add the weightlessness of flying, and this was truly a unique sensation.
>You shot into the air and circled the castle, your wings stretched out to sustain a glide as you looked for any sign of Luna.
>”Looking for me?”
>There she was, somehow she snuck up on you to the outside of your circle.
“Maybe, what’s next?”
>Luna grinned. “Keep up.” She raced ahead, leaving you to beat your wings furiously in order to keep up.
>She was making straight shot to the mountains behind Canterlot.
>There was no way you were going to let some princess out fly you, even if you did just get your wings.
>You had the speed, but as she passed through the force field and arced over the mountains, she twisted her body, going into a nose dive.
>No way were you prepared for a high level maneuver like that, so you simply went straight over the mountains
>Looking down, you made out a dark blue blur gliding through a long canyon.
>You tilted your body, circling around until you were headed in the right direction, flying above the canyon.
>Between having larger wings thrusting you forward and the slightly downward slope you were traveling, it took no time at all to catch up with the princess.
“How am I doing?”
>Luna looked back at you in surprise. “At this rate you should try out for the Wonderbolts!”
>Before you could reply, Luna beat her wings and shoved ahead, racing through the wide canyon ahead of you and around a corner.
>You followed suit, nearly crashing into the far side of the canyon.
>Apparently you cannot into sharp turns yet either.
>Luna landed on a small secluded green area, surrounded by cliffs on all sides with the exception of one that dropped off into a large lake below you.
>Then it hit you. You had no brakes.
“LUNA HOW THE BUCK TO I LAND THIS THING?!”
>You soared past her, franticly trying to flap your wings in reverse to no avail.
>You dug your hooves into the ground, skidding into the bushes and trees at the edge of the small clearing and toppling over behind them.
>Luna rushed over, looking over the bushes at you as you slowly got to your hooves.
“Perhaps next time, you should tell me how to stop before racing me.”
>Luna giggled, seeing that all that was hurt was your pride and made her way to her dropped saddle bag, magicing a cloth and some lunch out for the two of you.
>You walked over to her, a bit unsteady still, but managing to keep on all fours, and sat next to her.
>”I love it out here. Far enough from the city to cancel out any light from Canterlot, yet not that far of a fly. And the view is amazing , wouldn’t you agree?”
>You stayed silent, looking out across the pristine lake and forest surrounding it, before looking over at Luna.
“Yeah, it is beautiful up here.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Daisy sandwiches were never your favorite p0ny meal, but now it seemed alright to you.
>Maybe being a p0ny changed your taste buds.
>Either way, with dinner out of the way, you were left to watch as the sun was lowered into the hoizon, bathing the sky in a range of purples, oranges, reds, and blues.
>You and Luna lay on the ground next to each other, this time it was your turn to put a wing over her, blanketing her in feathery goodness.
>Her horn glowed brightly, bringing the moon across the sky so that it halted right in front of you both, bathing the two of you in soft moonlight.
>”You surprised me today Anon.”
“How so?”
>”Well, most Unicorns and Earth p0nies are afraid of heights. Seeing as you aren’t born with wings… I just assumed.”
>You didn’t let her finish her sentence before starting to laugh.
“I used to be afraid, and I still kind of am. But I mostly got over my fear a few years ago during airborne training.”
>”Airborne?”
“Oh right… See, humans have these flying machines, called airplanes. Basically a giant metal bird we can pilot. Well, soon after they were invented, we adapted them for war.”
>”So, you piloted these… planes?”
“No, I jumped out of them.”
>Well that surprised her. “But, if you don’t have wings...”
“Another invention we have, parachutes. Originally it was made in case the plane stopped working. It had a canopy that deployed above us, slowing us down by catching air. Kind of like flaring your wings helps you slow down.”
>”So your job was to jump out of nonfunctioning planes?”
“No, I jumped out of perfectly good planes.”
>”Why in Equestria would you do that?”
“It beat walking to the enemy.”
>”I see. Surely it wasn’t THAT high of a fall. I can’t imagine a simple piece of fabric slowing you down that much.”
“No, we usually jumped from thousands of meters in the sky.”
>”Wow. That must have been…”
“Terrifying.”
>Another small laugh. “No wonder you weren’t afraid to fly.”
“Oh I was. I just didn’t want you to know at the time.”
>”Are you still afraid?”
“Nah…”
>”Lies!”
“Are not!”
>”Prove it!”

“How?”
>Luna stopped, thought a moment, and grinned. “Tag, you’re it!”
>Luna raced off toward the cliff and took off before you could even get on your hooves.
“Oh it’s on like Donkey Kong now!”
>You rushed to the cliff edge, flapping your wings to get an added speed boost as you leapt into the cold night air, in hot pursuit of Luna.
>You had bigger wings, giving you more speed, while Luna had much more control over her flight path.
>The battle of the Mig-17 and F-4 Phantom all over again.
>You closed in on Luna who expertly rolled away right before you could make contact with her wing.
“Hold still you!”
>You banked as hard as you could to turn to intercept her flight path.
>Fuck this was hard, good thing you didn’t join the Air Force.
>Despite being cooped up in the castle most of her time, Luna proved to be a precise and elegant flier, sweeping low and tracing a wing along the lake surface.
>Not to be outdone, you banked hard to the left and flared you wings, then flapping them harder as you came out of your turn, gaining ground on Luna.
“You’re mine Princess!”
>Luna cranked her head around, her eyes wide seeing you so close out of a turn, and closing fast.
>You were maybe 20 feet from Luna, closing roughly a foot every second.
>Soon it was 15 feet.
>Then 12
>10
>Where the fuck did she just go?
>You cranked you head around, looking behind at the dark blue p0ny flaring her wings to slow down and let you pass only inches from her.
>Hey, watch the road.
>There is no road brain.
>Not the point there flyboy.
>You looked forward just in time to get a face full of trees, bushes and shrubberies as you crashed into the edge of the forest.
>Your body slid along the ground, bouncing off roots, rocks and other miscellaneous items, coming to a rest in a small clearing.
>”Anon! Are you alright?!”
“Owwwwwww”
>You cracked open an eyelid, looking up at Luna as she landed next to you.
>”I’m so sorry!”
“It’s ok…”
>You mumbled, a small smile spreading across your face.
>”What did you say Anon?” Luna leaned closer,
“I said… GOTCHA!”
>You sprang in the air with your wings, tackling Luna to the ground and rolled around for a few moments before coming to a stop on your back with Luna on top of you.
>”Seems… I have you… Anonymous.” Luna was breathing pretty heavy, her light blue mane falling from her and around your face
“Well this didn’t go according to plan it seems.”
>”As if you actually planned to do that.” Luna drew closer, her heavy breathing wrapped around your face along with her hair.
>Compared to the cool night air, her body felt hot as it pressed against your own, as she leaned down in for a kiss.
[spoiler]and we fade to black[/spoiler]
[spoiler]see what I did there?[/spoiler]
>You watched as the mare next to you sent stars shooting across the sky, streaking against the back canopy up above.
>The two of you were laying next to each other, your wings draped over the others body.
>A small yawn escaped her mouth, her body worn out from all of the physical activity today.
>Truth be told, you had a feeling you were going to feel pretty sore tomorrow, if not from flying around so much, from your two crash landings.
>Luna brought her gaze down from the sky, nuzzling against your elongated neck before lying her head down
>You clumsily fumbled around with the metal clasp on Luna’s bag, in efforts to get the other blanket so neither of you would be cold.
>Damn this would be so much easier with magic.
>You gave magic another try, this time being rewarded with a faint aura wrapping around the bag and pulling the blanket out.
>How the hell were you doing this?
>The blanket moved on its own, and over on top of you both, laying perfectly on your bodies.
>”Was that what you were trying to do Anon?”
“Aw come on. I had my hopes up I used magic.”
>Luna chuckled, leaning up momentarily to plant a soft kiss on your cheek.
>”Good night Anonymous, see you in the morning. Love you.”
“Love you too Luna, good night.”
>You laid your head down similar to Luna and closed your eyes, sleep embracing your tired alicorn body quickly.
>No tears, no dreams, no jimmies rustling at multiple times the speed of sound. Just good plain old sleep
>“Anonnnn… Wake up Anon.”
>A soothing, male voice called out to you, gently waking you from your sleep.
>”Come on Anon, today is a big day. Up! Up!”
“I don’t want to do PT today sergeant. I want to stay in the barracks and bake cookies with you.”
>”As nice as that sounds Anonymous, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. Chocolate milk?”
>Your eyes snapped open, your wings flared, and you leapt to all four hooves, bringing Luna out of her own sleep in a start.
“Discord!”
>”Discord?” Luna echoed in confusion.
>”In the flesh! Say Anonymous, did you do something with your hair? Or lose some weight? You look a bit different.”
“What are you doing here?”
>”Oh don’t worry; I just thought you should know I no longer require your services.”
>”Explain yourself Discord, before I send you back to Tartarus myself!”
>“Please Princess, this is a private conversation between myself and Anonymous. So… zip it.”
>Discord snapped his talons, literally zipping Luna’s mouth shut.
>“Besides, we all know you haven’t remasterd many of your spells, the one banishing me to Tartarus included.”
“I swear if you don’t dispel that I will BUCK YOU UP!”
>”Anonymous, do you take me for a fool? You can’t out fly a namby pamby princess, or use any magic for that matter. And your walking abities rival that of a young colt.”
>Fuck, he had you there. Still, you always seemed to have an ace up your sleeves in a time like this…”
>”Looking for these?” Discord poofed up four small pieces of paper, showing you four aces in his hand, then igniting them in a flame.
“What the buck? How… This is all a dream. That’s the only possible explanation.”
>Just as Discord heard those words, he disappeared into smoke, reappeared in front of you, grabbing your horn tightly in his eagle talon.

>”Real enough for you?”
>Pain lanced through your body, every muscle seemed to go into lockdown.
>Luna came to your rescue, rearing up on her hind legs and jabbing a pair of hooves into Discord’s face, driving him away.
>Now it was your turn, and you charged at Discord as fast as your new found hooves could carry you.
>He was toying with you, calmly standing in place then disappearing into smoke at the last  moment.
>Luna took to the air in an attempt to flank him, but ultimately had the same luck as you.
>Discord kept up his shenanigans, disappearing just before you or Luna made contact with his body, reappearing somewhere else in the air.
>Banking like a WWII pilot going in in for a strafing run, you dove at Discord who disappeared yet again with ease.
>But what made your eyes wide was the fact that it wasn’t open air on the other side of him
>Instead, you collided head on with Luna,  sending you both tumbling to the  ground.
>”Do I have your attention now?”
>You struggled to your hooves, looking over at Luna who managed to flare her wings during the fall, escaping serious injury.
>”I mean, I’m just trying to be friendly, letting you know our contract is void, that now that I’m back you should be on your toes, though it seems you traded those in for hooves… Oh, and Canterlot is under attack.”
>Luna struggled to yell something, to which Discord snapped his fingers, allowing her to speak.
>”Tis a lie! Shining Armor’s spell is impenetrable!”
>”Every defense is “impenetrable”. Until it’s penetrated. And guess what just happened?”
“Luna! Listen…”
>It was faint, but far away, you could hear the faint screams of p0nies, explosions, sounds of combat that you had long tried to forget.
“We need to head to Canterlot now!”
>”No! We need to capture Discord, he’s the one that orchestrated the attack, he’s simply trying to trick us.”
“Luna, neither of us are in any condition to take on a sorcerer of chaos, if you haven’t noticed, we’re getting our flanks handed to us on fine china on silver platters.”
>”We need to try!”
“We did! Now let’s go fight where it matters, we can fight Discord another day. Canterlot needs all the help it can get!”
>Luna glared up at Discord, who was patiently waiting on the two of you to make a decision.
>”Fine, let’s go.”
>The two of you raced off the cliff side, taking to the air and began to make your way to Canterlot.
>”Take care you love birds! See you soon!” Discord called out, as if the two of you were about to go on some elaborate cruise.
“What do you think he’s attacking Canterlot with, demons from Tartarus?”
>”I sure hope not, I’ve seen enough of those wretched things.”
“I know what you mean.”
>”Anon, I’m sorry.”
“Luna it’s fine, there’s no way we can defeat Discord on our own, especially like we are-“
>”Not about that, but for doubting you. I was beginning to think you had gone mad.”
“Honestly, so was I.”
>Having to fly with all of the injuries you sustained made progress slow for the both of you, but soon the two of you arched over the mountain summit, and dove into the thickest mob of black creatures you could find.
“DEATH FROM ABOVE!”
>you shouted your war cry as you swooped down a clogged street, turning your body into a bowling ball.
>Guards looked over in confusion at the new alicorn standing before them.
>Luna landed next to them, which seemed to snap them out of their daze and boost moral around them.
>As for you, you were beginning to realize how badly you could not into p0ny on p0ny like creature combat.
>The “changelings” as you heard someone shout, swarmed around you like the insect p0nies they appeared to be.
>Luna looked over just in time to see ten or twelve of the creatures pile onto you, digging their claws and teeth into you.
>”Anon!”
>She began to rush over to help, only to see the creatures flung off of you in stages.
>First, you kicked up on your hind legs, losing one.
>Next you shot out your forelegs, kicking another couple off.
>Placing yourself on your fore legs, you double kicked your hind legs, losing a few more.
>Next, you popped out your wings, leaving a sole changeling clutching to your  back.
>Finally, you bucked wildly in place like a rodeo horse, sending the last one for a wild ride.
“I’M A BUCKING BRONCO! RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!”
>The final changeling flew off, just as your body began to glow white, blinding everything around you.
>When the light faded, you found yourself on the ground, naked as could be.
“Well fuck me I guess I just digivolved.”
>You crawled to your feet, towering over the nearby changelings that looked up at you in wonder.
>Several of  them suddenly transformed around you, turning into… well. You.
“So that’s why you all are called changelings! That makes sense.”
>They each stood on their hind legs, making their advance toward you, each one losing their balance in unison and toppling over on each other.
>Awesome, changelings can’t into bipedal walking.
>You grabbed the nearest creature by its hind legs, spinning it round and round, using it against its own kind as a blunt weapon.
>You released it after a few rotations, sending it hurdling into its companions, knocking them over like bowling pins.
>Despite all of this, your soon found yourself back to back with several guards and Luna.
>“There’s too many of them!” one guard shouted.
“You don’t say?”
>Just then, a massive shockwave filled the city, sending a purple bubble through it and shoving the creatures away, and out into the horizon.
“Wat.”
>Your brain didn’t even process the ‘h’.
>”Captain must have managed to cast his barrier spell!”
“Wut.”
>”Anon, you’re bleeding, we should get you to the hospital.”
“Yeah, I think you may be right about that.”
>You gave a small laugh, looking at the numerous cuts and bite marks on your body.
>Luna drew the attention of a chariot team, and helped you onto the chariot that rushed off as soon as you were on board, Luna flying alongside them.
>The hospital was extremely busy already, badly wounded p0nies, guard and civilian alike were being rushed into emergency rooms all over.
>The nurse in charge took one look at you, opened her mouth, paused, and closed it.
“Just bring me a lot of gauze, bandages, and something to disinfect my wounds. I can handle the rest.”
>The nurse only nodded, rushing off to get the things you asked for while Luna sat along side you.
>”Why don’t you let a doctor help you?”
“Look around Luna, there’s a lot of p0nies here that need more attention than me.”
>”But your more…”
“Don’t say important. No p0ny here is less important than me.”
>”To me you are…”
“That’s different. Besides, these wounds aren’t that bad. There are just a lot of them.”
>”Still…” Luna paused as the nurse brought the things you asked for, several packs of gauze, bandages, medical tape, and a bottle of liquor.
>“Sorry, we’re running low on actual disinfectant, and we’re saving it for the more critical patients.”
“These will work fine ma’am, thank you.”
>You began situating all of your current wounds, soaking a piece of gauze and cleaning the wounds as you went, wincing with every drop.
>After you cleaned each cut, you applied the bandages to your chest wounds, while wrapping the one on your limbs in gauze tightly, making sure you didn’t cut off circulation.
>”Is there anything I can do Anon?”
“Could you patch up my back?”
>She nodded, following the same process of soaking a fresh piece of gauze and wiping each wound on your back.
>Lucky you the wounds were small enough they didn’t need stitches. You hated those things.
>”All done Anonymous. Here, I grabbed your bag. I think you have some clothes in there.”
>Sure enough, you brought your boots, pants, and a t-shirt, all of which you quickly donned to keep Luna from staring at your wounds.
>Luna’s personal chariot awaited both of you outside, whisking you away to the castle where Luna stayed by your side all the way to your bed, and even then stayed.
>Fireworks were going off in the distance, celebrating the new bride and groom, drawing Luna’s attention.
“You should go, I’m sure you’d be missed if you didn’t at least show up at the reception.”
>”I doubt that, besides you-“
“All I need is some rest. Go, have some fun with the other p0nies. Tell me about it in the morning.”
>”But-“
“No buts. Get your flank out there and have some fun.”
>Luna could see arguing with you was pointless, leaned down and kissed you. “Fine, I’ll check on you when I get back.”
“Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow Luna.”
>Luna left the room, dimming the lights on her way out and took off to the party, landing beside the mane 6 and Celestia.
>”Hello everyp0ny, did I miss anything?”