Lilly Route: Conflict: 2-12: Interview With a Katawa, P2

"So what of you?" he asks. "What of your education? I should hope you've given some thought to your own future. You are planning on attending University, aren't you?"
"University? Yes, sir, of course."
"What will you be studying?"
"I'm planning to focus on science and find a career there."

His eyes twinkle. "Ah, excellent! Are you going to become a researcher? If you find the right company to work for, it can be a very lucrative career."
"Actually, I wanted to become a teacher. I think I'd like to teach science."

That glimmer in his eyes vanishes and he appears disappointed. "Honestly? Do you mean higher education?"
"I was thinking of high school to be honest."
"Are you aware that teaching isn't a very well-paying career."

"I wasn't concerned about how much teachers make when I thought of it as a career path. I've always had an interest in science and I've found that I enjoy helping others understand it. It seemed like the best choice for me."

He wags a finger like a lecturer. "Enjoyment is one thing, young man, but how much you enjoy what you do for a living accomplishes nothing but your own satisfaction. Why should you limit yourself? Seek higher aspirations. You don't want to end up like that disheveled vagrant who works at Yamaku, do you?"

I get a little defensive over his comment. "His name is Mutou and he's my homeroom instructor. He's part of the reason I wanted to become a teacher in the first place."

Mr. Satou looks even more let down. "That is regrettable. If I was still on the Foundation, someone like him wouldn't have been given an interview to work there. Without me around it seems that standards have begun to slip."
"Do you have something against teachers?"
"Not at all, it's just not what I would consider a viable career. I respect the effort it takes but I don't think it's a smart choice when someone has potential for so much more."
I guess I should be relieved he seems to think I may have potential, but his disregard for my future plans is vexing. "You seem to be proud of your part at Yamaku since you sent Lilly there. What do you have against becoming a teacher?"
"Yamaku is an prestigious school but not every teacher can find a position at such an exclusive establishment. Most become nothing more than glorified babysitters for spoiled brats. Besides, it is a very different thing to hire a tutor than to recommend it as a path for your future; I may be impressed by the resume of a teacher, but that doesn't mean I would support it as a sound career choice."
"I have given it a lot of thought."
"I'm sure you have. Just consider how you'll support yourself on a teacher's wages. You'd be better to become a salary man at that rate. Same pay for less work and you won't have to waste your time getting a degree not worth the paper it's printed on."

For just a second I want to try and rush to my defense by explaining that it was Lilly who gave me the idea of becoming a teacher but I second guess myself and drop the subject. If he seems disappointed in my career choice he can't possibly know that Lilly wants to teach English. At least, I hope not; if his opinion of my career choice is so low, then I can only imagine how he would feel about his own daughter 'settling' on becoming a mere teacher.

Interesting. He must not know at all.
I file that away for later.

Mr. Satou sighs, shaking his head. "This is to be expected. I'm certain you and Lillian were raised very differently than each other. It's no wonder there would be... incompatibilities between the two of you."
"Incompatibilities?"
"Young man, it is very poor manners to repeat things after someone says them to you. You have done it several times since we began out conversation. Please do not parrot my statements as questions back at me, it's a sign that you are not paying attention."
"I guess I'm not sure what you mean."
"Isn't it obvious? It's clear that Lillian and yourself come from very different levels of society. Lillian is accustomed to a certain way of life. It would be difficult to maintain that level on a teacher's wages. Not too mention the... personnel difficulties."

I'm about to do it again, repeat what he said as a question, but I stifle it before the words slip out. "I'm not sure what you are getting at."

He sighs in exasperation. "Surely you know of our family's customs? How Lillian was raised?"
My eyes begin to dart around the room searching for a clue to what he thinks should be so clear. It takes a while but my glances settle back on him and catches a flash of light glinting against the cross shaped tie tack on his chest.

"Oh. Oh, you mean... that you're Catholic?"
"That our family is Catholic," he sharply corrects me. "It's a very important part of my wife's upbringing and my conversion was a condition she had for our marriage. It is something she and I, and by extension Lillian, take very seriously. We raised our children a certain way and it will be respected." He sighs and rolls his eyes slightly. "Even if Akira never appreciated it. She left her schooling as soon as she could. Her mother was devastated, but if Akira hadn't immediately gone to University to get a job in the company, I would have protested myself. Unlike Lillian, she has never shared our beliefs, she even flouted them. It's an important aspect of Lillian's life just as it is in mine and her mother's. I should hope you appreciate that and give it the proper consideration on any future you have together."

That doesn't sit well at all with me. Lilly has never made mention of her family's customs other than she and Akira once attended a Catholic school. It seemed to be a rather minor detail for her other than Akira rebelling against it. "She and I have never talked about it. She mentioned her schooling once but she didn't seem to put too much emphasis on it."

"Lillian is far too polite and private to bring her own beliefs into a conversation. I'm certain she merely didn't want to offend you." He steeples his fingers and glares at me. "You aren't offended by them, are you?"

"No, of course not. It doesn't bother me at all."
"Haven't you given it any thought?"
"Not really."
"Maybe you should. Lillian is a traditional girl, we raised her properly. You should give some thought to it if you expect a future with her, be that as it may. She was raised Catholic, I hope you don't expect her to settle on you not being as devoted as she is. That would be an unfair state of things to her, don't you agree?" He taps the tips of his fingers together in a raid, steady beat. "Just how far do you expect this relationship to go?"

"I'm not sure I understand."
"That happens often to you, doesn't it? Is this just a high school fling or do you actually have some real emotion for Lillian? I'm starting to doubt how serious your intentions are."

I feel my chest tighten and for the first time I feel real offense in this conversation. It takes me a bit of effort to keep my response level and not show how angry he made me. It infuriates me that he would doubt how I feel about Lilly after what we have been through. He has no right to do that. He couldn't even begin to imagine. "I love, Lilly," I say slowly so as not too hiss the words. "I don't have any doubt on that and neither should you."

His eyebrow lifts at the challenge in my voice. "Then you should give any future with her the thought it deserves. Do you actually intend to have a long term relationship with my daughter? I should hope that includes marriage, if it lasts that long, and if that is the case, your differences in beliefs may make that difficult."
"Lilly and I will deal with it if it's a problem. Don't you think we're a little young to be thinking that far ahead?"
"Lack of foresight is one trait I cannot stand. You should give more thought to whatever future you have if you want me to trust you with Lillian's."

Right, I've only thought about University, my job and Lilly and I living together, but of course you don't like what I'll be studying, what I'll be doing and you doubt whether Lilly and I can manage on our own. I guess I just have to go to the college you think is best, take a job you approve of and make sure that you approve of our lifestyle to keep your mind at ease that I won't screw both our lives up.

I don't say any of that aloud, of course, but it's what I'm feeling while he uses me as a verbal punching bag.

"Still, I must admit, I'm impressed by how my daughter feels about you."
"Lilly and I love each other, I said that already."
"No, no, I am speaking of Akira now. Try to keep up. For how protective she is of Lillian, I was surprised she's spoken on your behalf so fervently. You must have done something to impress her to allow you to court Lillian."
"I'll admit, I was a little nervous when Lilly and I told her about it."
"You didn't ask her permission first?"
"Well, I guess our relationship was a bit of a surprise to both of us."
He glares at me with disapproval. "A proper young man would seek permission first before beginning any intimate matter with a young lady. How long had you known my daughter? I imagine you met soon after you came to Yamaku?"
"Yes, since spring."
"How long did you know her before you started dating her seriously?"
"It was a couple months after we met at school."
"So the two of you have not been together for very long, have you?"
"I guess it feels longer than it actually has been. We've been through a lot. You already know that, though."
"Yet she wants to stay here for a relationship that is barely developed. It's a mystery to me why she would have her future rely on something so unproven and temporary. It's so unlike her."

I get a little defensive. "I think Lilly and I have been through enough to know that we'll be there for each other in the future."
Mr. Satou sighs in a sad way. "For now," he says meaningfully.
The way he says that fills me with a sense of concern. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Never mind, it's not important," he says, waving a hand. "It's to be expected; Akira is competent at certain things, but I am beginning to understand how negligent she has been in watching after Lillian all these years. She lives too much in the now. If she had been more attentive, none of this would have happened."

"I don't think you give enough credit to Akira for what she's done for Lilly," I say in her defense. "After all these years, Akira has had a full time job while still helping to care and provide for Lilly. Even when Lilly moved to the dorms at Yamaku, Akira visited whenever she could get away from her job. She's always done what she could for Lilly. I've always been impressed by their relationship and how close they are."

"Young man, I know my oldest daughter's uses and they are few and far between. Lillian's relocation to the dormitory was not a move I approved of but was made necessary by Akira's advancement in the company. She petitioned for it as well and I wouldn't deny her. Of course you would defend Akira, she was the one who approved of your courtship with Lillian, you owe her your allegiance. Your opinion of her is tainted by your appreciation that she accepted the relationship."

I squirm in my chair uncomfortably, starting to feel angry and insulted for both myself and Akira. "So you don't approve that Akira was accepting of me and Lilly?"
"Clearly not."
"How would you have handled it?"
"Drastically different."
"Would you share?"
"I don't think you'll appreciate it."
"Humor me."

Mr. Satou tips his head, relenting to my request. "For one, I never would have accepted such a sudden commencement of the relationship. Had you and Akira spent any time together for her to get to know you as a young man?"
"She and I had met a few times with Lilly, both in town and at Lilly's dorm."

Mr. Satou glares at me from over the desk. "What were you doing in my daughter's dormitory, pray tell?"
Sweat spontaneously beads down my neck and soaks into my collar. "We celebrated Hanako's birthday. The three, I mean, four of us. Akira was also there."

He narrows his eyes but nods and lets it go.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I realize I have to be more careful about what I say. This is exactly what Akira warned me to about, carelessly speaking and letting something like that slip will come back and haunt me.

"Well, a few meetings with Lillian in attendance is not what I would call an appropriate interview," he continues. "I would have had something like this conversation between us before any relationship began, the two of us coming to an understanding of your intentions and what I expect from you. I have certain standards for Lillian and they would have to be met before I conceded to anything taking place between the two of you."

"What sort of standards?"

"Well, for one, that you were aware of her religious beliefs and that any suitor of my daughter's would have higher aspirations than to become a high school teacher."

I bite my tongue to keep myself from speaking too quickly.

"Or that he would understand that she is a young lady and is to be treated as such," he continues.
"I've only ever been a gentlemen towards Lilly," I say in defense.
"Your constant public displays of affection speak otherwise. Like the one outside her room which I walked in on."
"We hadn't seen each other for a long time. We missed each other."
"Thank goodness. If I hadn't arrived when I did, who knows how far it would have gone?"

Again, I bite my tongue.

He must see my frustration because his eyes take a distant look before he rubs at his forehead and breathes a sigh before switching tracks suddenly. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?" He laughs, but I don't get the humor in any of this. "I apologize, I don't mean to batter you like this, young man. It's only that I have had certain plans for Lillian and they've all been dashed by this sudden turn of events. You understand, don't you? If you were in my position, with a wife as disappointed as Lillian's mother is, with all of your expectations and hopes for your daughter postponed, it would be natural for any man to be a bit adversarial in the matter, don't you agree? If this was your daughter making a life changing decision, I doubt you would be any more magnanimous than I am being."

I think we both take a moment to collect ourselves and rethink the approach we've been following, because neither one of us says anything to the other for a while.

"How has your wife handled this situation?" I finally ask. "I imagine she was pretty upset when she learned about Lilly staying."
"Upset would be putting it lightly."

Mr. Satou stands from his chair and turn to face the window, looking out over the park, the tiny pond I ran around this morning just within view, reflecting the sun and glittering. "My wife was devastated to learn Lillian wouldn't be joining us. I hadn't seen Karla as happy as she was in years when our daughters were visiting." He turns back towards me. "Do you know the reason that my daughters visited?"

"Yes, Lilly said that her aunt was sick."

Mr. Satou nods slowly. "Yes, very sick. It's in remission, but... well, these things take time. This event has caused my wife to turn her mind towards family, particularly her daughters. I had been planning on this for a very long time, Akira's promotion and Lillian joining us after Yamaku, but seeing my wife in such a state, I wanted her to have our children back as soon as possible. My wife gave up her career when she married me and it was because of my own career that she moved back to Scotland when I transferred there. It took all my powers of persuasion to convince her that Lillian staying in Japan was for the best, that Yamaku was the most appropriate choice to help her future. When Akira stayed as well, that only made it more distressing for her."

He turns and levels his full gaze on me and I can feel the whole weight of his eyes settling on my body. "Karla wants her daughters home. I intend to do everything to give her that. For all that my wife has sacrificed for me, I do not intend on disappointing her."

If I could sink into the leather chair any more than I already have, I would be slipping further into it's embrace to hide from view of his open challenge to me. "You must love your wife very much to do all this for her." I hope the compliment takes his focus off me.

"Absolutely. Without question. I've been gone less than a week and I miss her terribly." He seems to take a moment and sighs as a tiny smile flickers over his face before her smothers it. He gestures with a finger for me to join him.

I stand next him at the window while he fishes something out of his pocket, a small metal wallet which he flips open and plucks a pair of pictures from, handing them to me.

I'm surprised to find they're both small family portraits. The first is an old picture with all the Satous in it. Akira and Lilly standing in the front with their parents behind, all of them before a curiously familiar house I am surprised to recognize as the summer cottage up north in Hokiado. Lilly and Akira are both wearing dresses and Akira can't be older than eighteen, probably younger. She looks rather subdued compared to the playfully rebellious woman I know today and I'm shocked to see her long hair in a ponytail. Combined with the pleated skirt, she look far more girly than she does nowadays. She actually reminds me of Lilly, other than her expression. She looks slightly put out, like she is only reluctantly standing for the picture. It makes me want a copy so I can tease her about it later.

Lilly looks different too, much younger with so many curls atop her head that they frame her face. Even back then she was adorable and it's a little funny to see my girlfriend when she was so young. She is still immediately recognizable as the person I know today, though much shorter and a little rounder in the face before she grew into the woman I met and fell in love with. She has a big, bright smile on her face and Mr. Satou stands behind her with his hands on her shoulder as he points her at the camera. Next to him with an arm on his shoulder stands a very tall woman in a green dress. I would only dare to describe her as buxom. She's shockingly pretty, long blonde hair down her back and with very bright blue eyes that jump off the picture, like you would expect someone from a movie or on television to look like. I can see the similarities between her and Lilly just as I can see them between Akira and Mr. Satou.

I had talked to Lilly's mother Karla on the phone, but I had no idea she was this gorgeous. I can see where Lilly gets her looks from and if Karla is any indication, Lilly is going to become even more beautiful than I could imagine.

The other picture is much newer and I'm certain it was taken during Lilly's trip to Scotland. All the Satous are in it once more, standing in front of what looks like a gate of some kind but Akira is in her familiar suit and everyone is slightly older. Lilly sits in a chair, smiling again though more reserved this time while her father stands behind her with his hands once more on her shoulders. Mrs. Satou is likewise there, though of all the people in the photo, she seems to have changed the least. Karla must be pretty particular about her appearance if she looks the same as she did when both Lilly and Akira were very young.

Looking back and forth between the pictures of the Satou family, I get a little sense of what they were like back then and what they are like now. It's a strange thing but I feel a little uncomfortable looking between the snapshots, though I'm not sure why. The first picture, with Lilly and Akira so young, looks natural and everyone is smiling brightly. Even Akira, slightly annoyed, is forcing a grin. The newer picture feels more planned, like it was decided they would take the picture rather than it happening naturally. They're all posed like they were waiting for the picture to be taken, smiling for the camera like they're supposed to rather than the natural smiles that were captured in the old picture. Both of them are pictures of families that are happy, but the second is the kind of family portrait you would see in a store; sterile and posed in it's planned nature, all the Satous lined up according to height and family placement, though the differences are glaring to me;

Mrs. Satou's arm is no longer on her husband's shoulder.

Akira is standing a little bit further from her mother and father.

Lilly looks stiff and uncomfortable in her chair with her father's hands on her shoulders.

It all makes me a little sad.

I hand the pictures back to him. "You have a very beautiful wife, Mr. Satou."
"What a kind thing to say, young man. Thank you." He slips the pictures after looking at it fondly for a moment into it's case and replaces it in his pocket. "I've had the one for years since before Karla and I moved to Inverness. I'm glad we were able to have a new one taken during my daughters visit."
"If you don't mind me asking, where were they taken?"
"I don't mind at all. The first was our summer home up north before we moved. The second is our home outside Inverness."
Ah, I wonder if he doesn't know about Lilly, Hanako and me going to Hokkaido? I make a mental note not too mention it at all. "It looked like a gate of some kind to me."
"Most old towers have a gate, young man."
I hesitate a second. "Tower?"
"Yes. The home in Inverness that my wife and I share is a refurbished keep."
"You live in a castle?"
"No, a keep. It does not have a fortified wall. It has all the modern necessities, of course; electricity, heating, plumbing. Its very comfortable. Lillian seemed especially fond of the library and reading room. I've built up an impressive collection of braille volumes for her over the years. She loved it there, she had a wonderful time. Of course, she won't get to have that if she stays here, will she? Among other things."

He lives in a castle.

Of course he does, why wouldn't he? I'm surprised he didn't bring the crown I assume he owns to Japan with him.

And I'm the filthy peasant stealing the princess from him.

"It must be nice."
"Yes, it is. I want what is best for my wife and family and that includes Lillian. I do not know yet if you play a part in that, Nakai, but we will have to see. I'm willing to give you a chance." He holds up a finger in my face. "One chance."

I recover from my surprise and nod firmly. "I won't waste it, sir."
"See that you do not."

He holds his hand out to me and I'm stunned by the offer to shake hands even after his animosity. I take it as a good sign.
Gathering my courage, I take it firmly and give him what I hope is a strong shake.

He seems pleased by my resolve, returning the gesture. "If you make my daughter happy and convince me you have what it takes to continue to do so, then we will have to see how our relationship plays out, young man."
"I'll do my best, sir."
"I'm sure you'll try."

Our hands still clasped, he prolongs the grip. "There is one more thing I had been meaning to ask you about."
"Yes, sir?"

His handshake tightens down on me, clamping around my wrist until it hurts, refusing to let me go and locking eyes with me. "I want to know if you've slept with my daughter."

Stars go out, universes collide with each other and the heat death of the universe passes into antiquity. The tiniest particle eventually dissolves, leaving behind no evidence that anything resembling life may have once occupied the totality of creation. The only thing remaining in this void of nothingness is the finality of all life and the doom that claimed it all, leaving behind no monument nor marker to commemorate it's tiny occupation within this sphere of existence for such a fleeting, temporary span of eons.

I must black out because I come too after what seems like a very long period of time. I'm still standing in front of Mr. Satou with his firm grasp holding me, keeping me from running from the room or possibly hurling myself out the window of Jigoro's office.

A long plummet down the side of a building would be preferable to this at the moment.

"I...what?"
"I asked you a question, Nakai, should I repeat it for you?"

It's another trap, an instinctive survival voice screams in my ear, don't answer him!

"I... I don't...."
His grip tightens even more and I can feel my wrist ache in response. "Have you slept with my daughter?" he says very slowly so that even someone of my apparent stupidity can understand.

Kenji's warning about cement shoes quickly comes to mind.

Okay, calm down, Akira prepared me for this. I can't let him see the panic on my face, she made it very clear that this was the worst thing he could learn about me. With the seriousness Akira approached the subject, I imagine Mr. Satou would react less violently if I told him I had a criminal record than the fact that I had despoiled his precious little girl!

What do I do?

It takes me a moment, rushing through thoughts in my head, seeking a suitable plan before I can take a deep breath and recover from both the shock of the question and my own panicked response. Akira said not to let him get me in a corner, to use his own words against him.

So, that's what I'll do. The smartest thing I can do.

I won't say anything at all.

"With all due respect," I manage without stuttering too badly, "Sir... that's none of your business."

Mr. Satou is shocked by my denial, as I can tell by his slackened grip. "'None of my business?"

I try not to find amusement from him repeating my statement back to me as a question.

He must not be paying attention. How rude!

"We're talking about my daughter, young man. She is very much my business."
"Still, I don't feel very comfortable, well, talking about that with you. Or anyone, for that matter."
"I insist."
"I refuse."

He draws very close and I'm reminded of him confronting me in front of Yamaku as I can feel that numbness of fear start creeping into my limbs and the top of my head, my heart pounding in my ear. "Who do you think you are to deny me a question regarding my own daughter?"

"I'm Lilly's boyfriend," I say with as much resolve as I can manage, though it's not enough to keep my voice from shaking, "and that is something between me and her. Whether we have or not is no one's business but ours, not even yours... sir."
"Again, I insist you tell me."
"I can't. It's a... private matter between Lilly and me. Our physical relationship, whether it exists or not, isn't a topic I would talk to anyone about, even you." I breathe slowly to calm myself before continuing. "Weren't you the one who was glad I had some discretion? That I could keep my friend Hanako's secret if she had told me? What kind of a man would I be if I talked about something so intimate to anyone? How embarrassed would Lilly be if I spoke of her that way to someone, especially her father?"

It's an amazing sight, but I see Mr. Satou actually look like he has some doubt creeping into his eyes when I throw his own words back at him. "Lillian is my daughter, yes, but I have a right to know at what stage your relationship is."

"Yes, you do. I'll have to ask for her permission first."
I get a wicked idea.
"Or maybe you should just ask her yourself? We can get her right now and talk about it, the three of us."

Apprehension rises in Mr. Satou's features between wanting to pry the information out of me and being forced to ask Lilly such a delicate topic. I doubt Mr. Satou is the kind of man who would be comfortable inquiring his own daughter about her sexual activity. He seems old fashioned enough that the topic would be paralyzing.

He pauses and hesitates, holding his pose for some time, mulling it over in his head, gauging the worth of continuing this conversation. He glares at me as if the look alone would make me crack, but I stand firm, though inside I feel my discomfort distinctly.

Without warning, my bluff works. Mr. Satou lets loose of my hand and puts both of his own behind his back, smiling pleasantly. "Well, that's all right then," he says with a suddenly easy air. "I'm certain you're a gentlemen and I trust my Lillian's judgment. I'm sure the two of you are responsible young adults and wouldn't do anything to compromise that."

My hand throbs but I resist rubbing the pain in my wrist away, only letting myself breathe a sigh of relief. He backed off fairly quickly, faster than I thought he would but I'm glad that he did. What I said is true, it isn't any of his business. If he thinks he can intimidate me into spilling my guts about Lilly, he's wrong about that. He can push me around as much as he wants but when it comes to Lilly, I'm standing firm. I'm not going to let him trample all over me and I'll give him a fight over her if it comes down to it.

My little victory emboldens me slightly. "Is there anything else, Mr. Satou?"
He turns his back to me and waves me away. "No, you're dismissed."

His curtness is telling; he doesn't like being tested by anyone, that much is clear. He's not used to being refused, especially when someone uses his own statements against him. He's the kind of man who never changes his mind once made and holds his own words like gospel. It would be shaming to be made into a hypocrite by ignoring his own standards and statements. I feel a little sick glee at getting one over on him. Its about time I score a victory in this little back and forth between us. It seems all I've done so far is get treated with abuse, it's nice to land a blow of my own against him, especially given the chance to defend myself and Lilly.

"Thank you, sir," I say, trying not to sound smug as I do it.

I step outside the office and close the door, taking a big gulp of fresh air, the atmosphere out here less oppressive and hazardous to my health. I'm glad to be rid of Mr. Satou at least for a little while. I feel an intense need to go find Lilly and spend some time with her. In fact, I plan on doing that for the rest of the day.

Scratch that, the rest of my summer.

Just as I'm about to leave, I notice a door across the hall is slightly ajar, as if it had just been closed to be as innocent as possible. I sigh in annoyance and give it a push with my foot, kicking it open.

Behind it, squawking in surprise, Misha falls over and drags Shizune and Hideaki down with her into a tumble of limbs, tights and pink curls, the trio crouched in hiding behind the door.

"What were you doing?" I ask.

Misha, laying on top of a slowly crushed Shizune, looks up at me. "We weren't listening, honest, Hiichan!"
"Right, I'm sure you weren't."
"Shiichan made me! I didn't listen at all!"
"Misha...."
"Okay, but only so I could tell her what was being said! I didn't pay attention to any of it!"
"Whatever." I look at Hideaki. "What's your excuse?"
"It's my house. I can do what I like. And you didn't say I couldn't listen."

I turn around and head downstairs leaving the stooges to untangle themselves.

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2-13: https://pastebin.com/y0SFwUYp