- I am asleep. I wake up. I get out of bed, I shower, I get dressed. I eat, I get in my car. I go to work. I work, I finish, I go home. I eat dinner. I fall asleep watching Doctor Who.
- Everyday, I am asleep, I wake up, and I do the same thing again, and again, and again.
- Except today. Today, I wake up, and I'm in a different bed. It's not where I went to sleep, but it's not foreign. A flood of new memories crashes into my mind. I went to sleep as a 27 year old IT guy and I have woken up as a 35 year old, unemployed man with two kids. Both names are in my head. Both lives have memories, completely separated within my mind. I could act as if I have always have been him. It is not strange, but I don't know why I have conflicting memories. Yesterday I was both at work and looking for work.
- I go through the day as I know this 35 year old man always does. My kids suspect nothing, nobody suspects anything. I don't suspect anything, though I feel I should. I feign illness and sleep early.
- I wake up, and two has become three. I am a 14 year old girl who goes to a private school. I am secluded but not friendless. My father is in prison and my mother pretends he doesn't exist. My essay is due and I didn't do it. I am given detention. Will it matter? I walk home with my friends as I always do. I don't tell them of my odd experiences with a new form and new memories each and everyday. Again, I sleep early, half eager and half worried about who I will be next.
- I wake up. I am a 73 year old man in a retirement home. I have insomnia. I cannot sleep early to escape the boring monotony of a senile old man. I watch TV and ignore the rest of the old people as this man – as I – have always done. A nurse approaches me. I have a phone call. I wrack my brain for the quarter of my memories that belong to my current person. Nobody should call me. I have no friends and never had kids. I go to the phone.
- It's a 27 year old IT guy calling himself. It's me, in more ways than one. It has happened to both of us. We are both on the fourth incarnation. We have no reasoning, and both resolve to try and contact our past selves in the future. I take pills, and I pass out.
- I wake up. I try and contact myself, any of myselves, none of them are in my situation. I am a 46 year old lawyer and I have a case that I skip. I don't bother to look for a personality. I just take sleeping pills so I can find my way to something exciting.
- I wake up. 37 year old construction worker. I sleep. I wake up. 15 year old nerd. 45 year old gamer. I became the Pope, I became the President, there are few people I didn't become. Always retaining the memory. Death solved nothing, solely giving me physical pain to think about the countless times it had happened. I get my memories mixed up. Do I go to school or work? Is my name Craig or Lana? Am I a man or a woman, do I have a wife or a husband? What does it mean?
- I mix up when I talk to people and mix up in my own head. I stop trying to sleep and start looking for answers. For minds that have been driven crazy as I have. For a sign of what's happening.
- I attack people. I yell in the street. I am arrested, I am shot, I am feared everywhere I go and by everyone I am. I am sent to mental hospitals, I am pushed into the ocean and onto the highway. I can't take it. Nothing can stop it. Nothing can end me.
- I receive a phone call. It's the same person I spoke to as an old man. He is in my town. We meet. We shake hands. He is just like me. He is spooked, and crazy, and has died as much as I.
- But then I wake up. I am the same as I was yesterday. My brain is clogged. My brain is dead. I can die.
- I die. And I sleep. It seemed like longer, but maybe not. I wake up and am missing memories. I die, and wake up, and am missing memories. I go backwards. Lana, Craig, Work, School, President, Pope. It's reversed. I wake up. I am a 27 year old IT guy.
- I remember nothing.
- And I still wish for excitement in my life.
a guest Dec 15th, 2013 51 Never
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