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Roget

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Sep 20th, 2013
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  1. + Frat Ferrets-J
  2.  
  3. [[>]]
  4. [[module Rate]]
  5. [[/>]]
  6.  
  7. [[div style="float:right; margin:0 2em 1em 2em; width:300px; border:0;"]]
  8. |||| [[image http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/af/Southdakota2008_860.jpg/800px-Southdakota2008_860.jpg width="300px"]] ||
  9. ||||~ ^^SCP-1762-44[[footnote]] "Roger" [[/footnote]] spying on SCP-1762-50[[footnote]] "Gloria" [[/footnote]]^^ ||
  10. [[/div]]
  11.  
  12. **Item #:** SCP-1762
  13.  
  14. **Object Class:** Euclid
  15.  
  16. **Special Containment Procedures:** Site-127 has been established to observe SCP-1762. No unidentified vehicles or persons are to be allowed entry past Site-127's perimeter. Researchers are not to accept anything offered to them by any members of SCP-1762. Personnel suspecting a colleague of becoming too friendly with males of SCP-1762 are to report the colleague to Mobile Task Force Mu Alpha Theta.
  17.  
  18. **Description:** SCP-1762 is a population of //Mustela nigripes//, the black-footed ferret, inhabiting Southern Utah. All members of SCP-1762 are designated SCP-1762-1 through - 89. While displaying identical physiology to other black-footed ferrets, all male members of SCP-1762 display sapience and the ability to speak in American English. They speak with a typical "Bro" accent. Males will speak freely with each other, females of their species, and humans.
  19.  
  20. Members of SCP-1762 are highly social. When not hunting, males will gather into large parties, drink alcoholic beverages and socialize between one another. Topics of conversation typically range from females to sports. How males of SCP-1762 have knowledge of sports or where they obtain their alcoholic beverages are unknown. Several ferrets will drag in bottles of beer labeled "Ferret Fuel". In spite of their small size and lack of opposable thumbs, males show little difficulty in opening and drinking from the bottles.
  21.  
  22. Males of SCP-1762 will frequently harass females of any species. Males will frequently call females "sluts" and "bitches" following a period of mating. Previous to female personnel being disallowed from work at Site-127, males conducted several "panty-raids", resulting in ███ seperate female personnel's undergarments being displayed on SCP-1762's perimeter fence.
  23.  
  24. Human males are susceptible to a certain charisma presented by males of SCP-1762. Eventually this may lead to the male referring to the males as "bros" or "homies". This state can be extremely dangerous. For more information refer to Addendum.
  25.  
  26. **Addendum:** Incident 1762-5:
  27.  
  28. > **SCP Items Involved:** SCP-1762
  29. >
  30. > **Personnel Involved:** Dr. Larkins
  31. >
  32. > **Description:** Dr. Larkins had been assigned to directly observe and interact with SCP-1762 due to his previous work with population-based anomalies. He spoke with every male of SCP-1762 and directly observed several mating sessions. On July 7, Dr. Larkins told colleagues he was going to attend a "party". He was discovered with the males of SCP-1762 at approximately 22:03, on all fours, discussing the "rack" of Janette[[footnote]] SCP-1762-65 [[/footnote]]. Personnel became extremely concerned when Dr. larkins began ingesting "Ferret Fuel". They attempted to remove Dr. Larkins to Site-127, however Dr. Larkins reportedly screamed "Can't you see I'm just chilling with my bros?" and bit Researcher Rotal on the leg before fleeing, once again on all fours. Researchers attemped to pursue, however several males began to attack researchers, shouting "Hey, let him walk it off." and "Bro just wants to live the ferret life." Dr. Larkins was found dead 2 days later. He had suffocated after sticking his head into a prairie dog burrow, most likely in pursuit of prey.
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