Messing with Applejack (AIE)

>Day 39 in Equestria
>Be Anon in Equestria
>At Sweet Apple Acres
>Helping Applejack with apples
>"Hey Anon I need your help with some apple stuff"
"Well sure what do you need help with?"
>"Well I'm not sure how many apples I have right now"
>She emptied her bag in front of you dropping four apples
>"There are four apples there right?"
"Nope, there are two apples there"
>"No that's four apples"
"No there are two"
>She started to count them aloud
>"One...two...three....four! Four apples now stop your lying Anon"
>She looked back up at you
"No see there are only two"
>You looked down at the two apples
"One...two....see only two"
>She was shocked
>"But...but how did...."
"Ok well bye Applejack"
>You go on your way with your arms failing around in the air like an idiot
>Silly Applejack can't into apples
>But it's always fun messing with her

>Day 50 in Equestria
>Be Applejack
>Anon is helping you with some apple picking today
>He said he put the barrels of apples next to the barn
>You check the barn, the barrels are there but they are empty
"How in tarnation, the apples should be here"
>"I took all the apples that we picked...."
>You jumped Anon was behind you
"Holey sweet moley!"
>"...And I put them all back on the trees"
"Why, would you do that?"
>"Are you proud of me?"

>Day 52 in Equestria
>Be Anon
>Another day on break on the farm
>CMC and Applejack are feeding the chickens
>You pick up a chicken and yell chicken fight
>CMC join in, feathers are everywhere
>You hold a chicken over your head
>AJ: "Wait, Anon stop that's Scootaloo"
>You put it down and stare at it
>It looked like a chicken
"No this is a chicken
>"Hey!"
"A chicken that can talk, that is completely normal chicken behavior"
>You look into it's eyes
>It blinks
>You blink
>Then it blinks
"Well if you say so, but if it comes back looking to overthrow your tyrant rule don't be asking me for help Applejack"
>You walk off and enjoy the rest of your day

>Day 63 in Equestria
>Be Applejack
>You had just woken up later than usual
>Anon had kept you up late
>You went to your room door and opened it
>A wave of apples came through and filled your room
>Your head popped just below your head
>You swam to the top of heap and toward the kitchen
>Anon was there eating cereal from a bowl that was underneath the pile of apples on the table
"Anon what is the meaning of this"
>He shrugged
>" I don't know, all I know is that Big Mac can't swim, I have not seen Applebloom all day, and Granny Smith is hunting down the rare white albino great apple"
>Granny smith sailed by on a barrel
>"I'll get that apple one day or my name isn't Abraham Smith!"
>Anon just took another bite and chewed with a sheepish grin on his face
"Better go help Big Macintosh"
>Fucking Anon

>Day 68 in Equestria
>Another day at Sweet Apple Acres
>You walked into the kitchen and see Applejack pulling out one of her "Speciality" made pies
>She placed it on the counter and walked off
>(Insert time card here)
>Applejack walked back into the kitchen and spotted the empty pie tin
>She turned to you
>"What, happened to my pie Anon?"
"Well I didn't eat it if that's what you are thinking"
>"Well if you didn't eat it, who did?"
"Who said it was eaten"
>"But the tin is empty....wait this isn't the tin to the pie I made is it? This is a fake!"
"I don't know"
>She frowns and stares at you
"What?"
>"You hid the pie somewhere in here didn't you"
>Applejack walked over to the counter and searched through the drawers
>She started to throw around the contents of the drawer
>"Now I know you put it somewhere, somewhere I wouldn't expect"
>You watch as she searched through every appliance in the kitchen
>The fridge, the freezer, the stove, under chairs
>She started to search through the whole house
>You stood around watching her search
>Applejack even searched BigMac's room while he was away, disregarding the PlayPony Magazines
>She also checked the bathroom toilet
>Eventually it was midnight and you went to bed
>Applejack was still searching, outside in the yard
>"Oh I'll find it Anon, I'm telling you I will find that dang pie"
>You could hear her outside muttering to herself
>Shame....It was a great tasting pie, you wished she could make another
>But hey she has to find that pie

Today was a nice day in Equestria, a beautiful sun, the sweet chirps of birds in the distance, and everyp0ny was out and about. So, you thought it would be great idea to not go outside and cook some fucking breakfast for yourself you sack of shit. Anyway as you walked over to Applejack's -because fuck using your own kitchen- and asked if you could use her kitchen. She said happily said yes, but on the condition of cooking her breakfast as well. Not a bad trade off, but your cooking skills may not be the same as hers. You arrived at the countered donned on your chef hat -which you have no idea where you got that from- and prepared to cook the shit out of this breakfast. Applejack watched you first, since the kitchen was small and she gave you first turn. First step, you got out a large mixing bowl along with some eggs. You thought, what is a breakfast without eggs?
What are you European bullshit with your shitty wheat breakfast. Applejack hands you a wooden spoon, in the other hand you hold an egg. Applejack sets down the pan and turns on the stove. It was strange for her to be so quiet, but maybe she wanted to see how humans cook or learn some kind of recipe from you. You held up the egg ready to toss and threw it straight at the wall.

"Anon what are you doing!?" Applejack exclaimed

"Don't worry" you say "I know what I am doing." You grabbed another egg, but this time just tossing the whole damn thing in the fucking pan.

"ANON WHY!?" She screamed. You lift your fingers to your lips

"Shhh..." You threw another egg in the pan just for good measure. Always have more than you need you always say. You started to mix the bits of egg shell and splatter of yellow, white in the pan. Applejack left the kitchen as you continued stirring, causing a mix of clinks and sizzling noise to emit from the pan.

ten minutes later, you finished cooking the eggs and had put them on two differnt plates. You took both to the table and handed one to Applejack. She looked at you reluctantly, you looked back at her, your face screamed "Eat those fucking eggs you adorable orange fucker you." Applejack slowly took a bite. As she did, her face lit up in delight. "Why isn't there egg shells in this? I saw you throw the whole egg in the pan!"

"I did" you respond as you throw another egg at the wall behind her. Then you take a look at the plate in your hand. You drop it, lettting it shatter onto the unpolished wood floor
"I'm not even hungry anymore" You walk out the door, leaving Applejack with her face in her hoof.
Today was a good day