Arrest Archives

                                     THE ARREST ARCHIVES.
Arrest Archive #1 Pale Narrator.

>You have been called down to investigate an assault charge on a showmare called "The Great and Powerful Trixie."
>Apparently there was a disturbance in the audience as a member jumped up onto the stage, and proceeded to beat her.>You arrive at the caravan and see that the fight is still going on.
>The attacker appears to be a Pale unicorn, horn broken.
>You make your way to the stage, as trixie tries to fend off the attacker.
>"Finally! Help Trixie, and get rid of this mad po-"
>He spits in her mouth.
>You can't help but laugh. Hard.
>All eyes are on you, the attacker not even trying to run. He's bowing and saying "thank you".
>Trixie's stunned at your sudden laughter.
>"Aren't you the law in thi-"
>You spit in her mouth.
"I am, but doesn't mean I can't have fun."
>Everypony is on their backs laughing their asses off.
>The pale pony is just standing there, nodding approvingly.
>You walk up to him and take out your hoofcuffs.
"Sorry sir, even though that was funny, you can't just attack a pony... No matter how much they deserve it."
>"Meh, Worth it."
>You escort him back to the jail, and lock him up.
"You'll be out in the morning."
>"But, isn't assault a week long imprisonment?"
"Yea? I liked your style. You get out in the morning."
>"Sweet"

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Arrest Archives 2: Chronological Hangings

>You have been on an ongoing investigation about a string of hangings.
>It seems that the murderer is a worshiper of the norse gods...
>Freaking viking pony.
>You are Cop Anon, and you have been assigned to a case in Manehatten, to catch the pony dubbed "Chronicler".
>Your case has led you to believe that he is mostly going after people who write fanfiction of a show called "My Average Human"
>He seems to bring rope equivalent to the amount of stories they have written. Mostly what the fans have dubbed "Fap."
>He has had three victims so far, The first was a large fat stallion named 'Kitty'.
>The victim was encased in enough rope to make a bridge from ponyville to canterlot twice.
>The second one 'Bizzles' had so much rope, that he suffocated before getting hanged.
>The third was named 'AEther'.
>We didn't even know it was a corpse until we got close to it.
>So much rope.
>We got calls from two cities about a brown colored pony with a darker brown mane, with a strange cutie mark buying ALL OF THEIR ROPE.
>They were able to describe him, then asked if they could get the rope back.
>We had to say no.
>They were not happy at all.
>After arguing with them for about an hour, you just hung up on them.
>You have come to the conclusion that the next pony on the list is a mare named "Betty".
>You looked up her work, and have noted WHY he wants her dead.
>You want her dead to.
>It’s starting to get dark, so you head out to stake out this betty’s home.
>You arrive at the mares apartment and wait.
>About two hours in you see the suspect trot up the stairs.
>He has a LOT of rope.
>You should stop him.
“Shut up voice in my head, you want her dead as much as I do”
>Point taken.
>You get out of your carriage, and walk up the stairs of the apartment.
>You wait until you hear screams of death.
>”AHHHHHHhhhhgghhhhhh”
>You casually walk into the apartment and see the scene of the crime.
“Oh mah gawd, ya killed her.”
>You say not giving a fuck.
>The stallion just looks at you.
>”Took your sweet time.”
>wat
“wat”
>Look’s like you were expected.
>You go and grab for your pistol.
>He walks up to you and stands on his hind legs, front hoofs out..
>you stare at him.
>”Well? Aren't you going to cuff me?”
“Oh, yea. Supposed to do that aren’t I?”
>you grab the hoofcuffs, and cuff him.
“You have the right to not like bananas”.
>Now it’s his turn.
>”What?”
“You’ll find out soon. You get to speak with Celestia.”