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- Scooping up the final pack of supplies, I turned to face the Sphere. "Open the doors. Now."
- It must have sensed that I wasn't in the mood for any more bullshit, because in an instant the doors swung open.
- "Have a safe and orderly evacuation, citizen," the Sphere droned.
- "Fuck off," I spat as I led the foals outside.
- We were greeted with the same gloomy vista of a cyclopean underground city as before, but now there were considerably less henchmen. In fact, there was no sign that they'd been here at all.
- Now, in my line of work this means one of two things: (1) They were all dragged off by some vicious, fanged monstrosity or (2) they had decided to go AWOL.
- Judging by the complete lack of bullet holes, shell casings, or bloodstains, I was guessing the latter. Slayde quickly came to the same conclusion.
- And as you might guess, he didn't take it too well.
- "Damnable traitors!" he shrieked, jumping up and down in impotent rage. "Do they not know who they have betwayed--I mean, betrayed? I am Doctor Malcolm Swayde--Slayde!--the greatest criminal mastermind ever to grace the eawth--ergh, earth!"
- "Chickenshits, the lot of them," I agreed. "But we can't get hung up on this. We need to keep moving."
- "Don't you realize what this means?" Slayde yelled. "This is a transgression that cannot be tolewated--tolerated! We must twack--track!--down every mutineer, and throw them into the shark tank!"
- "I thought you sold that stupid thing," I said. Fuck, no wonder Slayde's finances were in such dire straits. Didn't he realize how insane the upkeep on that thing was? "Ugh, never mind. Anyway, I'm not going to ask again: are you coming along or not?"
- "We need to find them!" Slayde said wildly. "We'll start by searching for clues, anything to--"
- I bent down and snatched up Slayde unceremoniously, ignoring his attempts to batter me with his tiny, marshmallow-like hooves. It actually made for a decent massage.
- "What are you -doing-, you oaf? Put me down! Put me down, I command you!"
- I held him underneath my left arm like a football, easily able to support his weight. "I hope you guys are fine with walking?" I said to the other two foals.
- "S-sure," said XB9. Chicago just nodded silently.
- "I will feed you to last February's gene-beasts!" promised Slayde. "I will towment--I mean, torment--you with the Tormento Ray, and then I will make you spend the night in the Zombie Room! And then, once I've--"
- And that's when I spanked a supervillain.
- Dear God, I can't believe I just said that.
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