Anon - The Hefty Wingman

>"Hey, Anon!"
>You flinch a little at the sound.
>Glancing over your shoulder, you spot your old pal Rainbow Dash jogging up behind you.
>You shorten your stride and allow her to catch up.
>The lithe athlete grins as she passes you, before turning and walking backwards through the hall.
>Face to face at last, she gives you a cheeky smirk and winks.
>"I gotta question for you, buddy."
"Yeah, what's up?"
>Without missing a beat, Dash delivers her K.O. punch
>"Who do you think is hotter, me or Fluttershy?"
>You sputter to a stop.
>Rainbow gives a short, sharp laugh as she puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head to the side.
>"Right? What a goofy question, I don't even know why I'm asking you. It's gotta be me. Thanks!"
>Dash gives you a short wave and hurries off, leaving you in your tongue-tied state.
>Staring at her perky butt as she rounds the corner, you shake your head and mutter
"What the heck was that about?"
>With a shrug, you continue through your day.
>At lunch, just as you're about to bite into an extra sloppy joe, there's a gentle cough and the clatter of a tray across from you.
>Fluttershy smooths out her skirt before peeking out at you from around her mountain of fruit.
>"Um, hi Anonymous."
>Weird, you don't really hang out with her, but whatever.
>Tilting your head upward, you shrug.
"Sup?"
>And then turn right back to your food.
>As you're scarfing away, Fluttershy stares at you, squirming in obvious discomfort before taking a deep breath.
>You pause your ravenous appetite for a moment, making sure to catch an inflated eyeful of the demure teen's stacked rack.
>Unfortunately, your sandwich goes down the wrong way as she gets to her feet and leans across the table, pushing said ginormous jubblies almost right into your face.
>"Anonymous, I was talking with Rainbow Dash, and she said you liked her more than me."
>Oh.
>Shit.
>As you try not choke on the spicy meat, you pat your chest and cough a few times, shaking your head.
>Before you can respond, Fluttershy gives an excited squeal, bouncing back into an upright position.
>...some of her bouncing longer than others.
>"Omigosh, I knew she was pulling my leg! He, he, thanks so much, Anonymous."
>And just like that, the usually turtle-like Fluttershy hurries out of the lunch room, leaving an entire plate of fruit behind.
>You glance around a few times, then take a stab at some of it.
>No sense it letting it all go to waste.
>Seriously though, what a weird day.
>You're getting ready to leave when you hear a familiar voice shout again.
>"ANONYMOUS!"
>It never stops...
>Without bothering to turn around, you sigh.
"Sup, Rainbow?"
>She clocks you in the shoulder, scowling as she comes around to your front.
>Crossing her arms over her chest, the muscular girl looks you over and shakes her head.
>You're about to hit her with a 'sup?', when Fluttershy comes around from your other side.
>She looks extremely embarrassed, eyes focused on her fingers as she taps her thumbs against the knuckles of her index fingers.
>Great...
>After a few seconds, Rainbow Dash points to Fluttershy.
>"I thought we made it clear this morning that you liked me more, but Fluttershy said you told her the same thing at lunch today."
>The pink haired girl gives an apologetic smile, tucking a few stray strands behind her ear as she meets your eyes.
>"And, we were wondering if you could tell us which one you like more. If that's okay."
>You glance between the two girls and sigh.
"Seriously?"
>They nod in unison.
>Ugh, what a mess.
>Especially since you've got your eyes on someone else.
>You need to get out of this, quick.
>Thinking for a moment, you spot your escape and grin.
"Just a second girls."
>Throwing your arm up over your head, you wave to a figure in the distance.
"Hey, Pinkie!"
>With an almost inhuman speed, the pink blur hurries over to you, wearing her usual broad smile.
>"Nonny! It's so super-de-dooper to see you again!"
>You wave her off and grin.
"Right? Anyway, I'm in a bit of a pinch."
>The frizzy haired girl's eyes widen in surprise.
>"Oh no! That sounds really uncomfortable!"
>Giving her a solemn nod, you point towards your inquisitive friends.
"Rainbow and Shy want to know which of them I like better. The problem is, I can't decide because I like them both equally."
>"WHAT!?"
>"Oh dear..."
>Pinkie giggles and brings a hand to her lips.
>"Hmm, that is a pinch. Well, if you like them both the same, I suppose there's only one thing to consider."
>In a blink, Pinkie's standing behind the girls.
>Her hands rocket under Rainbow's arms, cupping her small breasts and earning a surprised squeal from the athlete
>"Do you like your chest whimpy, whimpy, whimpy?"
>With a sparkle in her eyes, she bounces behind Fluttershy and makes a noble attempt to manhandle the timid girl's prodigious chest.
>"Or hefty, hefty, hefty!?"
>The topheavy girl whimpers as Pinkie refuses to remove her hands.
>"U-um, Pinkie... could you...?"
>The party girl looks at you and grins, giving Fluttershy's chest an enormous squeeze.
>As the animal lover gives a breathy squeal, Rainbow Dash smacks her groper's arm
>"P-Pinkie!"
>Red faced and panting, it's obvious the blue streak is out for blood.
>With a small whoop, Pinkie releases Fluttershy and runs away laughing, Dash in hot pursuit.
>Fluttershy wraps her arms around herself, shuddering as she tries to recover, leaving you plenty of time to walk away unnoticed.
>Maybe some day, you'll find the nerve to stop using Pinkie to make your get aways.
>Maybe you'll tell her how you really feel.
>But until then, she's the best wingman a guy could ask for.